Revenge Fantasies

The camera pans up the aisle of a movie theater; the seats are empty until the frame finds one person sitting alone in the middle of the second row. It is Kendall Hart, dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt, holding a tub of buttered popcorn, a large drink in the holder beside her. She puts her feet up on the back of the seat in front of her. As the lights dim a wicked smile spreads across her face. On the screen her fantasies play out in black and white...

Fantasy 1: Flat as a Pancake

Ryan and Greenlee are riding off together on his motorcycle, headed on their honeymoon. Greenlee's arms are around Ryan's waist; her chin is on his shoulder. Suddenly a tractor-trailer truck swerves into their lane and flattens them into the road. Miraculously both of them survive, but Ryan has amnesia and refuses to believe that he is married to Greenlee. On instinct he walks back to Pine Valley and suddenly regains his memory upon viewing Kendall. He gets down on his knees and begs her forgiveness, then proceeds to the nearest lawyer to get an annulment of his marriage.

Fantasy 2: Flat Broke and Busted

Per Greenlee's advice, Ryan invests the Cambias fortune in a fly-by-night scheme that quickly goes belly-up. As a result they must move into a tenement, get clothes from charity, and eat food out of the dumpsters. On one such outing they are arrested and tossed in the Pine Valley jail. Kendall visits, wearing a shimmering designer dress, her hair immaculately styled. Overtaken by her beauty and his own remorse, Ryan gets down on his knees and begs her forgiveness. Kendall bails him out, and they proceed to the nearest lawyer to get an annulment of his marriage.

Fantasy 3: Green-Eyed Monster

Ryan and Greenlee are a month into their marriage, and Ryan is miserable. On one of his daily jaunts to get away from his cloying wife he spots Kendall and her new beau Alexander, a gorgeous, charming, kind, Greek tycoon. Flaring with jealousy he pulls Kendall aside and goes down on his knees to beg for her forgiveness. After politely giving Alex the brush-off Kendall goes with Ryan to the nearest lawyer for an annulment of his marriage.

Fantasy 4: Huge, Hairy Monster

One day Greenlee goes outside the house she is sharing with Ryan and is eaten by a huge, hairy monster. Shrugging with the realization that this was destined to happen, Ryan seeks out Kendall, goes down on his knees to beg her forgiveness, and sweeps her off her feet to carry her off into the sunset.

The screen fades to black, and the credits come up: Written by, directed by, and starring Kendall Hart. Guest star: Ryan Lavery. With: Greenlee the Garden Troll. As the lights come up, Kendall sighs, and taking her empty popcorn bin and drink cup heads out into the aisle...at the end of which she spots Ryan, standing in the doorway dressed all in black. He heads toward her at a steady stride. "Do you really think I'm going to go down on my knees and beg your forgiveness?" he asks.

"If you want me back," Kendall says.

"Really," Ryan says, taking the empty bin and cup from her and tossing them behind her, then grabbing her and pulling her to him. "And I suppose this won't do?" He presses her to him and kisses her hard on the lips for a long, long time. When he finally breaks the kiss Kendall is ready to melt onto the floor.

"What..."

"You were right about the annulment part," Ryan says. "And if you really want me on my knees we can arrange something later."

Kendall smiles. "I'm open to suggestions," she says.