It was only two hours, but it felt like the longest car ride of my life. She was crying uncontrollably, while he had the music as loud as it would go in a desperate attempt to block her out. I didn't say anything. Words felt so empty.
I know what it's like for him to hurt you. I know what it's like to spend every night wondering what had gone wrong. How you could have changed things. Why it happened. If everything would ever be okay again. If all of those things he said about you were true. Up-tight. No fun. Boring. Those were the words engraved in your brain. You saw them when you were awake, and they kept you from being sleep. The "what ifs" and "should ofs". Time moves in slow motion, and nothing seems real. Everything becomes blurry. Except him.
I always thought you could never forget your first love. I know I wouldn't, but for a while I thought he had. I'm still not sure what I mean to him now, but he was sorry. And not just sorry he hurt my feelings, and not just sorry that things didn't work out, sorry for everything. So was I.
He saved my life. What do you say to someone who saved your life? I didn't know. I'm pretty sure it wasn't just something you could Google and find the answer for. I told him how I feel. It's not enough, and I know that, but it was a start.
She was still crying. The heavy sobs had decreased to softer whimpers. I wonder if she knew Sean was where he belonged. That he should have gone back there a long time ago. That he's never going to get closure on what happened with Rick until he finds some sort of acceptance in his parents.
It's not that I wanted him gone. Hell, I couldn't even find the words to say good-bye. I guess part of me wanted to believe that it wasn't good-bye. That he'd be back. And maybe he will be, but everything I know about him tells me it won't be anytime soon.
I'd like to think we both just knew. I knew that he had to be there. He knew that I supported him. That was all he needed. Someone to believe he was doing what was right.
We stopped and my door opened. A hand reached in, and I took it.
"Come on Sprout, you're home."
It was the last place I wanted to be. Still, I let him help me out of the car. Her face was still buried in her hands.
"El, stay here, with me. With my parents. At least until things get settled."
We weren't friends. We'd probably never be friends. But we were both human.
