There are somethings that no one should know. There are some things which people do know. And then there are those things which must never be known.

That sounds stupid, doesn't it? But it is how the world works.

No one should know of us and yet some do.

We don't tell anyone because our lives depend on this secrecy and yet, there they are.

How do they know about us anyway? And what have we ever done? To them? To others? To anyone!

Why can't we be left alone! We go out of our way to avoid contact and yet, and yet something springs up to block our path. Always. Always.

And if there isn't anything blocking our path anyway, we make our own blocks, our own obstacles.

How many times have we fought amongst ourselves? Drawn our own blood? All because we disagreed!

And the worst is that I've become numb to it. How many times? I gave up counting. What was the point in counting? We fight anyway, bleed anyway, go mad anyway.

All of us.

It frustrates me.

It infuriates the others, him especially. Tsume. He has this temper, it's like a dormant volcano. His anger and hate are so palpable, you can almost smell them, with a wolf's nose. His exterior is hard to begin with, but his insides are just packed with gunpowder. I would know. I still have those scars.

We've stopped the fights now. Almost. There still are these times, where the air is taut with tension. It's almost funny when you see how different two wolves can be. Not just two. Our entire pack. All of us are so different. It's a wonder we manage to stay together.

Sometimes I wonder why we even are together! And then it hits me- boom! We need to be together. We need to. Wolves always stay in packs. It's what strengthens them. I had a pack too, once. I was part of one large pack. One pack that was destroyed. The dreams still haunt me. But they further my conviction - there was a reason I survived. There is a destiny for me after all. And to lend me strength to fulfill my duty - I have my pack.

But at the same time, our pack weakens us. We turn dependent. We grow attached. It gives us this almost... human behaviour. Almost, because I don't understand them. I don't even want to. I wish they'd leave us alone, those hunters.

But they don't.

We haven't had much peace from the beginning, none of us. Tsume, Toboe, even Cheza.

Maybe that's how life is. Awful, frustrating, hardly any moments when you're happy.

Sometimes some people are just never happy - those hunters. Or maybe they're happy hunting. Only then are they really happy. But can happiness at the cost of someone's life still be happiness? They killed my pack. They killed every wolf in the world. Were they happy when they did that?

They certainly aren't happy now - now when there are four of us.

No one seems to be happy anymore. The cities, the people, even the animals we see when we travel. As few and far in between they may be. Every wolf in this pack is not happy either.

Tsume because, well I don't really know. But he isn't happy.

Toboe, he misses Cheza. So do I. He's just sitting there and thinking, who knows about what. Gone is that cheery little pup who'd run after butterflies and try to lighten the others' mood. He's dark and brooding. His fear, we can smell it. But he's a brave little puppy. He'll get through it all, eventually. He's just going through a phase. If you ask me - I think he's the strongest of us all. The bravest and most courageous. He knows what he wants to do. He does what he wants to do. He's a good kid. Makes me smile almost.

And yet, the smile never fully reaches my lips. We're still stuck, aren't we? In some kind of sick limbo. It's all so twisted and warped. We seem to take one step forward and are inevitably pushed five back. At first it bothered me - we kept getting further from Paradise. But then it got so repetitive. We got accustomed to it. After all, it was our destiny. My destiny. This is how we'll reach the Gates. Somehow. We have to. We need to.

Paradise. We have to get to the gates. I've said that earlier too. But it's more than a conviction. It feels like my entire being. We are wolves. It is ours. And no matter what stands in our way - another man or another canyon or another failed attempt to kill us.

We need to keep moving. Keep moving. As repetitive as it may be. We must find Cheza. Find her. Then find the Gate to Paradise. We are wolves. We are a pack.

Let's move!


Authoress' Note : I don't know where I'm going with this. I just wrote this one night - labelled it as complete too. But if I get positive feedback (or even negative for that matter) I might just extend this.

I do realise, Wolf's Rain isn't one of the most crowded fandoms and neither do these stories get much traffic or reviews. But having watched it as a wee little child I supose it left quite a big impact on me... Having said that - I'm not looking to see much hits or reviews on this one. And yet - I confess - this is practically all i have, even though I'm not one for one-shots...

So if by any chance, any of you have any ideas to take this forward or wish me to do so. Leave me a suggestion. You could either email me or PM me or even hit that Review button down there.

Thank you for reading through and getting down till here! Even that means a lot! Thanks again!