Come Along, Kotegawa
Disclaimer: I own none of this. The characters and series mentioned within are the property of their respective copyright holders. This is not-for-profit work.
Note: This is set between the Doctor Who episodes The God Complex and Closing Time, and after my previous To Love-Ru/Doctor Who crossover, Darkness and The Doctor.
Yui Kotegawa was having a pleasant day. It was Summer Break, and so far this day ,she had not been straddled, fondled, stripped naked, forced into embarrassingly revealing outfits, witnessed any acts of lewdness or depravity, or been in any shape, way, or form molested by anyone of any gender or species. She was beginning to think that perhaps she would finally have a normal, peaceful life, and that things had finally settled down.
She should have known not to tempt the fates with such thinking. Just as she was rounding the corner to go to the market to pick up supplies for that evening's dinner, she collided bodily with a man dressed like a professor, though he seemed to be a bit young.
"Excuse me, Miss," he said, straightening his bow tie and reaching down to help her up, "In a bit of a hurry. It's not safe around here. You might want to…"
Whatever course of action he was going to suggest was cut short by a mad cacophony as people ran past them, yelling and screaming, and the sounds of breaking glass, twisted metal, and crushed masonry mingled in horrific symphony. Some large, hideous vinelike mass creaked and groaned its way towards them.
"Doctor, Doctor, Doctor," an all too familiar voice greeted Yui's ears, "Daddy says that you've become something of a nuisance again. Tsk tsk tsk."
"Now, Momo, let's not do anything rash…"
"Rash! What an excellent idea, Doctor! I'm sure I've got something here in my Dedial that can cause you all sorts of delightful irritations!"
"MOMO!" Yui called out angrily, "What are you doing? This is not proper behavior."
"I'm going to have to ask you to step aside, Kokegawa-san. I have to do a bit of Pest Control for Daddy," Momo grinned wickedly.
"It's Kotegawa!" Yui snapped.
"Miss, I highly doubt she's going to listen to reason. What we should really do right now is RUN!"
And with that, he grabbed her by the arm and with a strength belied by his wiry frame, he jerked her down the road with him, where he sprinted with her for all he was worth towards a blue police box on the corner of the street.
"She's not going to be held at bay by a wooden box!" Yui protested.
"You'd be surprised," The Doctor said with a smirk, "In you pop!"
Yui braced herself, certain that with as much force as he'd shoved her in, she would be smacked into the back wall. Except she kept going, and going, and going, until she tripped over a step. She opened her eyes, and marveled at what she saw.
"Wow. So Lala isn't the only one who can do this."
"Oh, so you're familiar with the concept. Good. That'll make things easier. We'll just wait things out until Momo calms down. I'm going to have to give Gid a good and proper talking to when this is done. Now, if I can just…"
"Doctor, you should really learn to close doors behind you," Momo stepped inside with a devilish grin on her face, her tail swishing in anticipation.
The Doctor snapped his fingers, and the doors snapped shut, catching Momo's tail in them. The pink-haired princess let out a yelp of pain.
"Owowowowowow! My tail my tail mytailmytailmytail!"
The Doctor winced, "Oooo. Sorry about that. Devilukean tails. Very sensitive."
He snapped his fingers again, but the doors didn't open.
Momo continued whimpering in pain.
"Looks like we've gone and jammed the doors. I know. A quick hop out to shake it loose," he ran up the steps and began fiddling with controls on the massive console in the middle of the raised platform, "Oh, everything's still a mess from when Rory dropped the thermo coupling. And that's still sticky from when Pond spilled her ice cream. Oh, those two are lucky I dropped them off before I could make them clean up the place!"
There was a screeching sound like metal on metal, and Yui felt the floor shudder under her feet. She grabbed hold of the railing, wondering just what was happening.
"There we go .We should be safely two feet over to the left, and," he snapped his fingers again, opening the doors and releasing Momo's tail, which she held tenderly and blew on gently to soothe the ache.
"Oh, that's not right," The Doctor said, looking out the door.
"What's not right?" Yui demanded, wondering just how her day could have gone so wrong, "What's going on?"
"Well, it would appear that we've gone a bit further than I expected."
Are all aliens like this, Yui wondered, or just the ones I keep running into. Why do I get all the aliens who can't use their machines right?
"How much further?" Yui asked, wondering if she even wanted to hear the answer.
Just then, two nubile green women dressed merely in grass skirts grabbed Yui by the arms and dragged her out of the TARDIS and began peeling her clothing off as they went.
"Oh," Momo stood up, looking around, "Is this Hadaka Four? I've always wanted to come here! Kotegawa, I'm so jealous!"
"Jealous?!" Yui screeched as she tried to cling onto her panties and keep them on.
"The TARDIS translation matrix must not have kicked in for you yet," The Doctor looked around, "They're saying that you resemble their God Queen of legend and are to be considered as one of them, and given a feast in your honor."
"Naked? How shameless!"
"When in Rome," The Doctor shrugged, "One naked girl wouldn't garner that much attention in a sea of naked people. Which is exactly what I'm going to say to River when she asks me about all of this later."
"And how can I look like their God Queen? I don't even look like one of them," Kotegawa gestured to her milky white complexion even as she tried to cover herself with her hands, a gesture that was so awkward, it caused Momo to giggle.
"Oh, they don't know that. Hadakans are color-blind," The Doctor grinned, "Still, ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please. Hello. Thank you.
"Now, I'm The Doctor. This is Momo Belia Deviluike, and…and…"
"Yui Kotegawa!"
"Ah. Yes. Yui Kotegawa. I know she resembles your God Queen, Yuujo, but she's really just a very shy tourist. If you could allow me for a moment," he dashed into the TARDIS, and then returned with a lengthy sarong that he handed to Yui, who quickly covered herself with it, "Well, shall we stay for supper?"
"Doctor, maybe we ought to take Yui home?" Momo suggested, "She's not very good with these types of situations. Plus, the Deltanian Strangle Vine we left back home might be a bit…hungry. And running loose."
The Doctor gave Momo a stern look, "Young lady, when we get back to Earth, we are going to have a stern talk about transporting various plants through interstellar customs.
"Come along, Kotegawa. The TARDIS wardrobe ought to have some more conservative clothes for you to try on. "
Yui scrambled back into the TARDIS, and with a whoosh, the blue box was gone.
