You're Nothing I Expected

You are nothing I expected, and yet everything.

What else would I think when I dreamed of my angel of music but childish wishes of feathery wings and sparkling costumes?

What else could I imagine but something beyond my greatest fantasies when I heard a voice surely straight from heaven?

I thought you would be the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, someone who could drown me in wonders with a very look and take my mind to new heights on golden wings.

Yes, perhaps my words are flowery. And they are definitely based on a picture from many years ago – but even with a more mature picture of what I thought was you it did not prepare me for reality.

You did not sweep me away, you had me led into the deepest dankest cellars on a stolen horse.

You had lied to me all this time, and was no angel but a real person living in this hidden cavernous place beyond the lake.

And you shouted and screamed and threw hysterics when my girlish curiosity took me farther than I wanted to go.

Yes, you scared me.

But then your voice enchanted me again like it had many times before and I could almost forgot all that. You were almost that angel of before. But I could never forget the awful things you'd done. The reality of your ghastly looks behind that deceptive façade.

I ran and you pursued. But I returned on my own accord. It doesn't make any sense does it? Except that you are so smart, I'm sure you understand. Or do you? If you had really understood me would you had kidnapped me and forced that awful decision upon me, then, would you?

Had I glamorized even the awful truth about you enough that I wouldn't believe you were capable of losing every last ounce of sanity in you?

Where were my visions of heaven and wings and sparkling gold then? Where had my naivety dropped me? Right back to you, of course. That's what angels are for, catching you when you fall – even off of golden pedestals of false hopes.

You are nothing I expected, but you are everything I expected.