Forgiveness and New Beginnings
Summary: Post Requiem, After Gibbs reburies Kelly's time capsule, he and Tony finally have the heart to heart that has eluded them for over a year
Rating: T for sexual encounters between two consenting adults and strong language
Pairing: Gibbs/DiNozzo
Disclaimer: Good news! I just bought the rights to NCIS, I officially own the show. Oh wait, sorry that was just the dream I had last night, I still own nothing.
Warning: This story follows Apologies and Arguments, Memories and Deceptions, and Delusions and Fantasies. Which means that it is SLASH. Which means that it is a story involving somewhat graphic sexual activity between two consenting adults of the male gender. If that bothers you, turn around now.
Author's Note: First, I would like to apologize for taking so long to write this story, I'd give you excuses but I doubt that any of you are interested. I would, however, like to thank everyone who reviewed my first three stories, and I hope you enjoy this installment.
The little metal lunchbox disappeared under the mounds of dirt Gibbs kept piling on it. He was smiling the entire time. He was by no means over Kelly's death, but somehow, he knew he'd be ok.
Somebody entered his backyard. Gibbs didn't turn around. The somebody barely made a sound as they stepped up to him, but Gibbs knew there was somebody there. He could feel it.
"Never really took you for the gardening type, boss." Gibbs felt his stomach clench as Tony knelt down next to him. Being around the younger man this last year was a daily challenge. One that ate him up inside every day.
Gibbs finally tore his eyes away from the iguana on the bed to see DiNozzo standing there, gun raised. He was completely naked. The first thing that went through his mind was that it was just not fair for a guy that good looking to be that endowed.
"So what are you doing?" Tony asked, pulling Gibbs out of his memory. The older man sighed, a ghost of a smile falling on his face again.
"Reburying Kelly's time capsule." He stared down at the dirt underneath his bushes. Tony was silent for a while.
"Why?" He finally asked. He didn't have to specify, Gibbs knew what he meant. Why bother reburying it?
He shrugged. "Those were Kelly's secrets. It's not my business to look at them." He finally looked up to stare into Tony's eyes. There was worry hidden deep within the green of his irises. There was also a trace of something else. Something brighter. "I don't need to see what's inside. I feel better knowing I have a piece of Kelly here."
They were silent for a while. It wasn't awkward though, like a lot of their silences had been recently. More… content.
Finally, Tony broke it. "How're you doing?"
"I'm ok." He didn't offer up any other details. He had something else he needed to say. "Thank you." Tony looked up from the bushes again. "For saving Maddie. Thank you."
Gibbs wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but he knew it wasn't anger, which is exactly what he got.
Fury consumed Tony's face as he scratched his jaw. A low, bitter, chuckle erupted deep in his throat as he stood up. "Yeah." He started walking out of the yard.
Gibbs was confused. "DiNozzo."
Tony whirled around. "For saving Maddie, right? Not 'thank you saving us,' or 'for having my back.' How about, 'Thanks, Tony, you did good today, I should have asked for your help instead of going off and doing something stupid!'" He stopped, his face was turning purple, and he was shaking.
Gibbs stood up and moved closer to him. His first instinct was to reach out and touch Tony. To physically comfort him. But he knew that wouldn't be welcomed, so instead, he just stood there. "I didn't think I needed to say that."
"Of course you didn't. You never did before." Tony turned around again.
Gibbs was getting frustrated. Very quickly. "Hey!" He yelled. Tony turned around, he wasn't afraid, he was still mad. "You wanna tell me what your problem is, or are you just going to act like a child some more?"
"I'm being a child? Gibbs you nearly died today!" He moved closer again, his voice rising with every sentence he spoke. "You went off half cocked—again—and almost got yourself killed! But I'm being a child because I was worried about you?" He finally stopped. Gibbs took a step back.
He never expected to see so much hurt in Tony's eyes again. But there it was, consuming him. And he didn't know what to do. Not anymore. "I was trying to protect a friend of my daughter's."
"I know." Tony moved into Gibbs' personal space. "But you should've trusted us to be there for you. If Jenny hadn't figured out Haas was using Maddie's mailbox, both of you would be dead right now." His voice shook a little at the end.
"You would have figured it out, Tony."
"Maybe too late." Gibbs couldn't take it anymore. He reached forward and grabbed Tony's face. He moved till his lips were just a breath away from Tony's.
"Jenny may have figured out the mailbox issue, but you were the one who found me. Whether or not she gave you that clue, I know you would have found me in time." He looked down at Tony's lips, then back up to stare into his eyes. Without even thinking he closed the distance between them.
Gibbs was sitting at his desk, thinking about the events from this day. Tony almost died. Again. He saw the car blow up himself. And it scared the hell out of him. When he saw the car explode on that camera, he wished he was in it. To die along side of Tony, because he knew for damn sure he couldn't survive losing him too.
But it wasn't Tony. Relief flooded his body as Tony walked into the office, the same cocky demeanor he always had, despite that he had just been through hell. He never stopped being Tony.
But now the man in question was missing. Again. But, like he said, it was a rough day. His girlfriend upped and left him, he was almost killed twice in one day, and he had a gun pointed at him. Gibbs couldn't really blame him for wanting to be alone. He just wished he knew that Tony was safe.
As if by luck, the elevator doors dinged and slid open. He looked up to see Tony strolling towards him. His shoulders sagged, and he definitely had a very ragged look on his face. He probably wasn't expecting to see Gibbs there so late, because when he finally looked up he stopped dead in his tracks.
"What are you doing here?" He said by way of greeting.
Gibbs shrugged. "Working. What are you doing here?"
Tony eyed him suspiciously for a moment. Probably trying to determine if he was going to tell the truth or lie. Finally, he caved. "I felt like being alone." He moved to go sit at his desk.
Gibbs' eyes followed him as he sat down. He didn't power up his computer, didn't take his jacket off. He just stared off at the far wall. "Do you mind having company?" A part of him realized it was a stupid question, but he didn't care. He wasn't going anywhere when one of his team was in such bad shape. Particularly Tony.
Tony turned towards him. He looked almost as if he didn't hear him. He shook his head. "No, it's uh, it's fine." He smiled. It was the kind of smile that didn't reach his eyes.
Gibbs sighed heavily and wheeled his chair over to Tony. The younger man barely spared him a glance. Gibbs eyed him, worry consumed him. "I am sorry about this."
Tony chuckled. It was a sad sound. "I thought that was a sign of weakness."
Gibbs shrugged. "Jenny shouldn't have put you on this mission. She shouldn't have even conducted this mission. It was wrong for her to use you for her own personal vendetta." Tony had his head in his hands. He didn't look like he was paying too much attention to what Gibbs was saying. "And I'm sorry that you got hurt in the crossfire."
The young man was silent for a while. Gibbs still wasn't sure if he was actually listening when he finally spoke. "Yeah, me too." He finally turned to his boss. This time his smile was genuine. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being here." Gibbs smiled in return. His heart fluttered a little. That was probably the nicest thing Tony had told him since he came back from Mexico.
"So," He leaned back in his chair. "What ever happened with Palmer?" Tony laughed.
"He dumped me when he found out about Jeanne."
Gibbs was confused. He sounded like he actually found that funny, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out how. He finally had to ask.
Tony turned to him, a small gleam in his eyes. "Did you know that Palmer's been seeing Agent Lee?" That was a shock. One that Gibbs wasn't expecting. Although he had to admit, he did see why Tony thought it was funny.
For the first time in a long time, he laughed out loud.
Tony pushed away from him, pulling the older man out of his memory. He took a few steps away and wiped at his mouth. "Don't." He was seething. "You lost your right to offer comfort a long time ago." He began to walk away again.
Gibbs was getting even more frustrated than normal. "What do you want me to say, Tony? I couldn't remember! I shouldn't have said what I did. But just how long are you going to hold that over my head?" During his tirade, Tony turned around, leaned against the fence and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked very relaxed.
"Do you realize that through that whole thing, you never once said you're sorry?"
Gibbs almost groaned. "It's a sign of weakness."
Tony shrugged. "You apologized to Ducky, but not to me. Or, is it ok to apologize to your friends, but not to the person you claim to love."
Gibbs was finally starting to get the picture. He stepped closer. "Claimed to?"
Tony averted his gaze. "Like I said before, you remembered Jenny, you remembered your family. You believed Ducky and Ziva when they came to talk to you, but you wouldn't believe me! You didn't remember me."
"Tony." He didn't know how to finish that sentence. Everything Tony just said was completely true. He had the right to be upset. "For the better part of my life, I denied who and what I was. I refused to acknowledge to myself that I'm…" he paused and took a deep breath. Even now it was hard. "That I'm gay. You were the first guy I've ever been even remotely serious with. And even that was hard. After the coma, Shannon and Kelly were so fresh in my head, I could barely wrap the idea that I'd gotten married again around my head. Hearing that felt like I was betraying them. Hearing from a man that we were seeing each other? I didn't want to believe it."
There was a glisten of emotion in Tony's eyes. Gibbs knew there was one in his eye as well. "You should have told me sooner. About Shannon and Kelly. I mean, I know that it's painful, but if you couldn't even tell me that you lost the love of your life—"
"I didn't." Tony stopped talking and just stared at the older man. "There will never be a day that goes by that I don't think about those two. And I will never stop loving them. But Shannon wasn't the love of my life." He shook his head. "She wasn't my soulmate."
"Gibbs." His voice was shaking now.
"You are." A single tear leaked out of Gibbs' eye. "And I am so sorry that I couldn't remember you. That I let my own self hate mask how I felt about you. Tony, I look at you, and I feel at home. I see you hurt, and it breaks my heart. When I found out Jenny was using you to get revenge on The Frog, I almost shot her myself." He paused. He reached forward, again attempting to touch Tony. The younger man tensed, but he didn't pull away this time.
"Gibbs, I," he paused as he swallowed the lump in his throat. "I don't know if I can trust you again. At work, no question. But this."
Gibbs took a step forward. "I will wait for you, Tony. But just know that I am not giving up. I won't." He put his hand on Tony's face. "I'm in love with you, Tony. And I am so, so very sorry that I hurt you the way I did." His hand shook. He wasn't sure if he wanted to admit this next bit to the man in front of him.
He sighed heavily. Tony deserved to know. "Right after I got out of the hospital, I… I got little glimpses of memories. About you." Tony looked up, shocked. Gibbs shook his head. "I didn't want to believe it. I thought that, with you talking and telling me everything, that you were giving me fake memories." He grabbed Tony's arm when it looked like he might try to bolt again. "And when I was in Mexico, Mike started saying that he suspected that I was gay for a long time. And I started having more flashes. But, he couldn't plant fake memories, he didn't even know you. That was when it finally clicked, that it was all real. Everything you told me."
Tony didn't move for a second. He stared at the older man in confusion. Gibbs was a little afraid that he would run, pissed off, and he would never see him again. "I probably should have come up with a better plan than just attacking you that night, huh?" Gibbs smiled.
"It's understandable given the circumstances." Tony smirked a little.
"Jethro," he paused, as if unsure of what to say. He looked anywhere but at Gibbs. Finally he turned back to meet his blue eyes. "I'm sorry," he said finally, shaking his head.
Then he turned and walked back towards the house.
Gibbs cried out in ecstasy as his orgasm consumed him. Tony followed only a moment later, filling the older man. For some reason he couldn't really explain, Gibbs always liked that feeling.
Tony plopped down on top of him, completely spent. Yet oddly wide awake. Gibbs chuckled, he would be.
"Wow," Tony said after he finally caught his breath. "That was… incredible." He had a smile on his face like a kid in a candy store. Gibbs smiled while he ran his hands through his hair. He chuckled softly and shook his head.
"You're a character, Tony. Only way to describe you."
Tony scrunched up his face in mock thought. "Is that a bad thing?"
Gibbs shook his head. "No. It's one of my favorite things about you." That earned him more of a cocky smile.
"Really? I thought your favorite thing about me was how I fucked you." He brought his hands up on Gibbs' chest to rest his chin on.
"I said one of my favorite things, not my favorite thing."
"You have more than one?"
"I got the list of five so far." That earned him another cocky look.
"Really? Well." Tony sat up swiftly. The sudden shift in position—and the fact that he was still buried in Gibbs—caused the older man to groan. Tony flinched. "Sorry."
Gibbs reached up and lightly swatted the back of his head. "Don't apologize."
Tony rolled his head around. "I know, I get it, it's a sign of weakness."
"That, and that wasn't a pained groan." He wriggled his eyebrows at Tony, hoping he'd get the message. When Tony wriggled his hips around, Gibbs was sure that he did.
"Ok, so I wanna know. What are your top five favorite things about the Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo?" He crossed his arms over his chest. Almost trying to appear serious, but failing miserably.
Gibbs crossed his hands under his head, a smile permanently glued to his lips. "Well, as you mentioned before, number one is the way you fuck me."
Tony cocked his head and lightly scoffed, like that was a completely obvious statement. Gibbs reached up and smacked him again. "So what's number two, Gibbs?"
"Your smile." That earned him one of DiNozzo's patented grins. Despite the fact that Tony was pushing forty, whenever he smiled, Gibbs would swear that he could pass as a twenty-five year old. Any sign of age seemed to just melt from his face. "Except when it's pointed at some tramp who you decide to flirt with."
"I flirt with women, I come home to you." They both stopped suddenly. That was probably one of the most romantic things Tony ever said. It freaked them both out a little. "What's your third favorite?" Gibbs chuckled.
"That you're a character. Completely unique. All the movie references you make. The fact that you can superglue McGee's fingers to his keyboard, and yet he'd still follow you to hell and back. If any other person did some of the things you do to your coworkers on a daily basis, they would have lost their jobs, had countless sexual harassment suits against them, or possibly killed. But nobody can hate you. Nobody could hurt you like that."
Tony looked like he was thinking about what Gibbs was saying. Apparently he decided that it had some merit. "So, what's number four?"
"Your work methods. You are completely unconventional, you fall asleep at your desk, play stupid games, but you always give me what I need." Tony gave him a questioning—and slightly erotic—look. Gibbs rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."
Tony nodded. "Yeah I do. But just so you know, you're a bit of a killjoy there, Gibbs." Gibbs chuckled. "Ok." Tony clapped his hands together and wriggled his hips again, causing Gibbs to moan. "We have seen Leroy Jethro Gibbs' top four favorite things about," he pointed to himself, "yours truly. What, pray tell, could the fifth spot be?"
Gibbs didn't answer. Instead he grabbed Tony's shoulder and pulled him on top of him again. Their lips crashed together in one of the most intense kisses either had ever experienced. Their tongues fought a grueling battle of dominance, twisting and lapping to claim the other as their own. Gibbs felt Tony's manhood come alive inside of him. His own friend waking up only moments later.
Finally they pulled apart, breathing heavy and more turned on than they had been in a long time. "That," Gibbs finally panted out. "Is my fifth favorite thing about you."
"That I'm always ready for seconds?" The younger man wriggled his eyebrows. Gibbs smiled.
"Kissing you, bonehead." Tony leaned down and captured his lips again. Subconsciously, his hips bucked against the older man. Gibbs dug his fingernails into Tony's back before pushing him away. "The fact that you're always ready for seconds is my sixth favorite thing."
Before Tony could make another crack, Gibbs pulled him down again and wrapped his legs around his torso.
Gibbs lay in bed with a giant smile on his face as he thought about what happened earlier that day. When Tony went inside the house, Gibbs followed him. It didn't look like he was trying to make a break for it. He was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. When he looked up, he was smiling. A real genuine smile. For the rest of his life, Gibbs would probably never forget what he said.
"Soulmate, huh?"
He smiled again as he thought about how the two barely made to the bedroom. Their clothes were scattered around the house, and a few things had been knocked off the walls. It was fantastic.
He heard Tony groan before he awoke. His eyes were glazed over with sleep. "Hey, you're awake." He rubbed at his face. "Why are you awake?"
Gibbs shrugged. "Thinking," was his simple answer.
"It better be about me." The older man smiled.
"Naturally." He kissed the top of Tony's head and rubbed his back. "I was just wondering why you forgave me."
Tony shrugged. "I guess I'm as much of a sap as you are." He paused for a moment. "Well, maybe not as much, but definitely close." Gibbs reached up as if to smack Tony, but rubbed the back of his head instead.
Gibbs looked down at Tony. Neither man was really tired anymore. The younger man lifted himself up on his elbows so his body completely covered Gibbs. "No, you know why I forgave you? Because you actually apologized. And you made it sound good." Gibbs smiled.
"That it?"
Tony shook his head. "Nope, I also remembered just how fun make up sex is." He leaned down and kissed the other man. He pulled away after only a few moments. "You ready for thirds?"
The second Tony climbed on top of him, Gibbs' body started to come alive. Now, he was at full attention. He cocked his head to the side and stared at Tony. "Just how in the hell do you have so much stamina?"
"Years of practice." He gently started to nibble at Gibbs' neck. Gibbs shut his eyes as a tremor ran through his body.
"I have more practice than you and even I'm not that good." Tony bit down hard on his collar bone.
"Old age does that to a person." He reached Gibbs' left nipple.
"Or maybe I just know there's only so much I can take before I'm walking funny." Tony paused just as his hand reached Gibbs' aching manhood. He got a very contemplative look on his pretty face.
"Hmm, you're right." He rolled off Gibbs and settle back on his side of the bed. Gibbs stared at him incredulously. "Night."
"You son of a bitch." He rolled over till he was on top of Tony. He was smiling.
"Well, we have to work tomorrow, do you wanna go in walking funny?" Gibbs grabbed him. Tony's eyes bugged out of his head. "Apparently you do."
"What can I say? I have a lot of stamina too. For an old guy." He leaned down and grabbed Tony's mouth. "And I'm all set for another go."
Tony grabbed his shoulders and flipped them so he was on top. "Well," he said between kisses. "If you insist."
Well, I hope the ending was to your liking. I really enjoyed writing these stories, and I hope that you enjoyed reading them. Please tell me what you thought about this story. And as always, flames are welcomed. One of these days you guys will give me one!
Adios everyone! And I will see all next time! Well... hopefully.
