I've never posted anything before. I've never written anything before. I started writing one night when I was bored and I ended up with a HUGE story. I've decided to start by posting the first chapter. If all goes well I'll continue updating/posting the rest of it chapter by chapter (I've got close to 14, I think). I'm sorry if it's not the best writing, or if the characters seem a little out of character. Please be gentle with your comments if you have any...this has been sitting in my folders for months while I've been debating if I wanted to post it or not and tonight I finally got the courage to.

I do not own the characters, or Scorpion.

Toby and Happy had been together for about 2 years now. They had moved into a new place together a few months back. They were in a stable mature relationship. Toby had been trying to propose jokingly for a few months, but she always just laughed it off, because he always did it at the most random and inconvenient times. She knew he wasn't serious.

Just last week, after they had been out on a case and they had just gotten back to the garage, they were sitting on the couch, and he looked over at her and said "We've had a long day. Let's do something fun. Let's get married?"

Toby had ulterior motives though. He knew she would never say yes if he asked like that, he knew that she would laugh it all off, and to be honest, he never carried the rings with him. He was making jokes about it to get her used to the idea. He was planting a seed for when he actually did want to propose for real, she would have already thought about it and would say yes, hopefully.

He had also been doing the same thing in regards to kids. Toby wanted kids, but he wasn't exactly sure about her stance on it. He would make random comments when Ralph was around about how "motherly" she could be. He would also say how they "would never let their kids do that" jokingly when Ralph would do something uncalled for.

He decided to just take the leap and ask her about kids one evening. He knew it was backwards, typically people get married then have kids. He wasn't looking to start trying at that moment, he was curious about what their future could entail. He just wanted to know where she stood on the subject.

They were sitting on their couch after a pretty calm day at work. They were watching some kind of documentary about space and pointing out all the inaccuracies, it was something they liked to do for fun.

He was sitting straight up, she was curled up to him with her arm around his waist with her head on his chest and he had one of his arms around her too.

"Happy, I'm just going to jump into this," He said calmly and took a pause before continuing "Do you want kids some day? Where do you stand on that?" He asked.

She sat up so she could look at him "I don't want any." She said with almost a sympathetic tone fidgeting with the string from her hoodie.

"Oh" was all he could say. He had always wanted kids, he wanted kids with her. He wanted to be a dad.

She sat up more comfortably and put her hand on his shoulder and continued. "I mean, I don't want to have biological children. I would like to adopt or something someday though…"

He thought about that for a minute. He was happy that she wasn't opposed to the idea of kids in general, just that she wasn't ready to have her own children. He thought about it while they kept talking.

She really did want to have kids someday. She didn't want her own…she couldn't have her own. She always kind of liked the idea of being a mother, even though she wouldn't admit that to anyone else but herself and now Toby. The idea of being a mother still scared her, but since she'd been with Toby, she was getting less scared of it, she could see a future and kids with him more and more each day. She was scared of that too. She had never been with someone who made her want a family, who made her feel so safe, loved and wanted.

"You're not opposed to the idea of kids in general, or being a mother. Why don't you want to have biological children?" He asked. He was curious, he felt like he already knew the answer, but he wanted confirmation and to see if there was more to it.

"My mom died during childbirth. It's always freaked me out." She started to explain something that Toby already knew. But then continued "I was in the system, it sucks. I feel like we could be one of those few good homes for kids if we fostered or adopted." He already assumed that would be one of her factors as well.

"Happy, you know there have been medical advances in the last 29 years, the chances of death are so slim for the mother and even for a baby…" He said, trying to reassure her.

"I know, but the idea of pregnancy freaks me out. So many unpredictable factors, anything can go wrong. My mom had a really complicated pregnancy, they didn't even think I'd make it." She said. It was clear she wasn't budging on that.

"I understand, but you know, bringing life into the world, a tiny person that would be half you and half me would be great." He said putting his arm around her shoulders again and smiling.

He understood it was difficult. He had always wanted his own kids so he was kind of hoping to sway her a little bit. But if she didn't want to have children of her own, then adoption or fostering was something he was definitely willing to do.

"I just, I don't want to die and miss my child's entire life and I wouldn't want to put you in that situation…" she said as she continued to fidget with the string on her hoodie. He could tell that she was hiding something. She was avoiding his eyes and fidgeting. He didn't want to press the subject too much more, it was clearly something she was worried about.

"It's okay. We can talk about adoption or fostering as options too." He said trying to be supportive. "They can take a long time, so we should start those processes soon and start looking into it if we want kids before we're old enough to be grandparents." He laughed lightly at his own joke.

She let out a small smile and nodded in agreement.

He could tell she was still hiding something "Hey, what's wrong, what aren't you telling me?" He said brushing a few curls from her face.

"I can't have kids." She just said abruptly. "I've got something similar to what my mom had." She said still avoiding his eyes, he leaned over and just hugged her.

It had never occurred to him that she might want her own kids, but couldn't. She had valid points before for not wanting to give birth and have biological children, and he was alright with that. He didn't realize that she wanted kids, but couldn't have them the traditional way. It broke his heart a little bit when it all clicked and made sense.

After a few minutes, she pulled back and continued to explain. "It's not that I can't conceive at all, but the chances are relatively low and if I were to get pregnant there is a very high likelihood that I would have a miscarriage. There's also a high chance I would have a complicated pregnancy if I did carry a child. My mom died because of complications…I don't want to go through that. I don't want to put you through that..." She was looking at him now.

Toby looked at her like he didn't know what to tell her. She wasn't an emotional person generally, but her walls came down around Toby. She let him see the more vulnerable parts of her now that they were so stable and she knew she could trust him.

She continued, "I've always said I didn't want kids, it's easier than explaining that I can't. For the first time in my life, I'm happy. I love my job, and you, and my dad's back in my life. I don't want to lose any of that." She said and took a brief pause.

"I've never been with anyone who made me want to have a family before. I want that with you so bad, and it breaks my heart that we can't have a tiny human that's half you and half me. If it wasn't so risky, I would have babies with you Toby." She smiled and kissed him.

He kissed her back pulling her onto him. He loved the idea that she wanted a family with him. That she was now trusting enough, secure enough and loved him enough to want all of that with him. She had opened up so much, and he knew just how difficult it was for her. He loved that he was probably the only person who ever saw the emotional and vulnerable side of Happy Quinn.

"Happy, I love that you want this. It's scary, and complicated but we don't have to have biological kids. If you want a baby, we can make that happen other ways."

She looked up again, "I know I should have told you sooner. I didn't know how." She said.

She was now sitting on his lap facing him, his hands were on her hips, she had her hands behind his neck and she was lightly playing with the ends of his hair.

"That's alright I understand. We can adopt the underdog kid who needs it. We can save a kid or two from a crappy life. We're going to give some kid the best life." He said with a smile.

"You're alright with adopting, and not having your own? That doesn't bother you?" She said with a more serious tone, looking at him directly.

"I will love whatever kid we have, however we get one as long as you're going to be his or her mom and I get to be his or her dad." He said pulling her closer to him. "I've always wanted to be a dad. I want a family with you. If that means adopting then great."

She smiled and kissed him hard. She was so glad that he was okay with all of it. She knew he wanted to be a dad, he hadn't really said it before, but she could tell. She could also tell he'd be great at it someday. She was a little disappointed they wouldn't have their own kids together, but it was a fact she had been well aware of for almost all her life. She wished she could have her own kids for the first time in her life. Toby made her want to have it all with him. He made her feel happy and safe.

When they pulled apart she had her hands on his chest and she put her head down slightly, "I'm sorry we can't have our own kids together…"

He lifted her chin. "Hey, no, don't be sorry. We can adopt. It's not a big deal. We can save a kid from a crappy life." He said smiling at her.

"We would have had the cutest kids… probably a genius too." She said slowly.

"Yeah, we probably would have…" he said calmly.

He could tell that it was something she wanted, but had convinced herself she didn't want a long time ago.

She was done talking about it. She didn't want to keep dwelling on it. It made her sad that she couldn't have her own kids, that it was because of her that Toby wouldn't get to have biological children. But neither one of them wanted Happy to risk her life.

She wanted to distract herself, and not talk about it anymore.

She kissed him hard again, running her fingers through his hair and pulling herself closer to him.

He pulled apart and continued "Happy I'm so in love with you. I love that you want to have kids with me one day."

She kissed him again, trying to shut him up.

He pulled back he continued "We're going to be parents someday. We can start looking in to it tomorrow. I think we could adopt, we could have a few kids. Do you want a baby or does the age matter to you? Do you want more than one?" He was so excited about it already.

He smiled at her quickly before she pulled him back in for another kiss.

"Toby, shut up. I love you, and I love that you're excited about it, but right now I'm trying to get in your pants." He sat there with an almost stunned look on his face, she laughed "You dork" and went in for another kiss.