We Can't Live Without Having Each Other

Hi! I don't know does it work because this is the first time I do it. I hope it does and you can like it.

ARIA'S POV

I was sitting on Ezra's couch with him. I thought how do I like sitting, cuddling, watching movies with him on that couch. But this time it was different. This time, both of us were nervous and uncomfortable. We were silent and tired…

Though our relationship had always been hard and complicated last month took lots of thing from us. We had deal lots of thing until now. But this was not that easy. This was not possible. I had found out Ezra is A. Then I found out he wasn't A, but he done something about A. He told me that he done them for our safe and never meant to hurt me. I could see the love, regret and honesty in his eyes. But did it matter? He had lied to me anyway. He was the man who I'm in love with. He was the man who I trusted more than anyone in my life. And it wasn't a simple, small lie. He had lied to me about the most important and horrible thing in my life. A was not a game for us. It was a threat for our lives, not just mines but my friends too.

I closed my eyes. God, it was so hard. I had missed him so much but I couldn't hug him, I couldn't burry my head on his neck. All I wanted was that, but I couldn't. I knew that he told me the truth. He also had proofs. "But why now, baby" I said in my head. He had begged me for my forgiving. He had kept saying "You have to believe me, Aria. It's the truth. I love you. You have to believe me, please." I sighed loudly and he looked at me because we weren't talking for one hour.

"I believe you." I said softly and he looked me with hopeful eyes. But when he saw the doubt in my eyes he hesitated.

"But?" he asked nervously. I shook my head. "But it doesn't change anything."

"What do you mean, Aria? You can't give up on us. I told you, I had to do them. For you, for us." He begged me again.

"Ezra. It is not just about it. How can I trust you again? I don't even trust my dad as much as I trusted you. This isn't like you lied to me about Jackie or Maggie. I can't forget it. I want to, I really do. But I can't. We can't go old days back. But now, we can't go forward either. We can't have a future together." I stopped talking because tears filled my eyes and my throat knotted. He shook his head.

"I can't lose you, Aria." He said sadly. A tear fell down my cheek. I didn't look at him.

"But I already lost you." I whispered but I was sure that he heard me. He didn't say anything and I couldn't lift my head; I couldn't dare to look his eyes. I felt he stood up and left the couch. He went kitchen counter and hold on to it. I was facing to his back. Was he crying? Was he upset? Did he need me? I was sitting there and trying to stop my tears. I wiped my cheeks. When I got ready to talk again I started to talking.

" I… I'm planning to go to vacation with girls. We need some free time. Our parents will join us sometimes. I won't be in Rosewood for three months." I stopped. This was a long time for a vacation and he knew it too. I thought he understood that I already came here for breaking up.

"And I think this would be good for us too. You can decide to what are you going to do after this." I stood up when he didn't say anything and I took my jacket and purse. It was time to go for me. I looked at his apartment. I looked at to couch, coffee table, TV, bed, kitchen counter… I looked at to Ezra. He turned and came to me. He held my hand softly.

"Is this the end?" He was so close to me. I could feel his breath. I was fighting with my tears. I nodded. Thought he was this close to me, I had already started to miss him so much. And I knew that I was going to spend rest of my life with missing him. It was the last time we were looking at each other. We weren't going to have a chance to being that close even one more time.

I didn't know what happened to me; I crushed my lips with his. I felt like our lips were burning. When I pulled back he looked my eyes. They were wet. Then he kissed me. Both of us were aware of this isn't anything but goodbye and it hurt us so much. It was painful. Kissing was painful, pulling back was more painful. I kissed him harder like it was going to kill the pain. I grabbed his neck and pulled him closer to me. His tongue entered in my open mouth. We were kissing each other hungrily. I didn't want to think anything. I just wanted to feel him. The kiss became more heated than ever. He groaned when I moaned. I was moaning loudly and breathing heavily. I didn't care my tears. The only think I care about was him. I opened his shirt buttons then take it off him. When it fell to floor he removed all my clothes. I jumped and wrapped my legs around his waist. He didn't break the kiss and carried us to bed. He laid me down and set himself top of me.

"Aria…" he moaned. I needed him so much. I needed him now.

"Ezra, please…" I whimpered and kissed his shoulder for the last time. I hugged him tightly for the last time. I smelled his scent for the last time. I loved it. I hated it. I hated being aware of it was the last time. I wanted to be sure he was going to be on my side when I wake up next morning…

We were so slow. It felt like our first time. He held my hand. He was moving slowly inside of me. It felt so intense. I didn't want it to end. I wanted to stay like this forever. I knew that when we done I was going to leave there and never come back. Our moans got louder. He held my hand more tightly when I hugged him with my left arm. We were about to come. I wasn't sure if I wanted it or not. I was scared. I was so scared…

"I love you Aria!" he shouted when we both came. "I love you baby." He whimpered. "I love you so much." He whispered this time. Then he started to sob. We were both crying. I was sobbing like him. I didn't take my arms of his neck and he kept hugging me. His face was buried in my neck and I could feel his tears on my neck. At the same time I was crying to his hair. We stayed like this until we stopped crying. He was too afraid. He knew that I was going to get out of this bed, this apartment, his life… I didn't go first. I laid there with him for a couple minutes. None of us were speaking. Our fingers intertwined. I had always enjoyed to lying with him after our making love. But this time it felt like someone took my heart from my chest. It was hurting, aching so badly. I could feel the physical pain too. God, how could I live like this my whole life? I just wanted to take him and go somewhere else. We could live in our little world. I just needed him. We just needed each other. We were ourselves when we were together. We could go and everything could be fine. "No, we couldn't." I reminded myself. It was time to go. It was time to learn a life without him. I took my hand of and tears filled my eyes just in that second. I didn't look at him. I got up and took my clothes on. Then I went to door. Every time I left this house I have always kissed him. It was the goodbye kiss but it meant "See you soon." But this time there wasn't any chance to see each other again. I wasn't going to come back to 3B or we weren't going to spend each other again. I didn't look at him. I didn't say goodbye. I just closed the door behind me.

EZRA'S POV

One week… It had been one week after Aria's gone and I already hated this life without her. I hated everything. I hated "myself". Yes, I hated myself most. Seeing her when she was in pain killed me. Knowing that I caused this was killing me more. I had always given her a hard love life. Nothing was easy. We had always had to keep fighting for our love. It made her tired. But she came to me anyway. We came back together. She had never denied it was difficult. But she always believed on me, trusted me.

I lied. But it wasn't anything put her in danger. Actually I had done everything for us, for our happiness. I had always known that she was dealing with A. A didn't do something bad only to the girls. And they had no idea what was A team doing else. But I did. It could be so bad for Aria if I told her I was in this too. I couldn't risk her life. I had to should do this secretly. I wouldn't be able to keep her away from traps of A if I told her. It was too hard even she wasn't aware of that. I had to do this. But I did wrong. I was fighting with myself; I couldn't know what's true or false. All I knew was I love her and I can't live without her.

Every second during our love making my heart died and came back to life so many times. I couldn't forget even one second. It was the most special, most unforgettable, most painful moment we had.

I had watched her while she was leaving my place, my life… I wanted to keep her in my arms and never let her go. I wanted to say her "Don't go." But I didn't do anything like that because I knew that she wasn't going to stay with me. She was willing to go. And she deserved a happy life. It was always hard with me. She deserved someone better than me. All I gave her were tears.

I spent days (well just seven days but it felt like forever) in my apartment. I was sitting, lying and doing nothing. I couldn't eat or sleep. Every time I close my eyes I saw Aria. God! How could we come this day? How could I lose her? I was going to go crazy. I wasn't good at all.

While I was lying on couch and staring to ceiling my phone rang. It was Mr. Tambrelli. I thought to ignore him but he called me a few times so I answered the phone.

"Yes?"

"Oh, Ezra. Finally. Look we need you here. You should come to school."

"School? Why should I come? School is over." I asked curiously. Going to school was the last thing I wanted to do.

"I know. But we have a meeting and you should come too. It's important." He replied. I sighed. I was going to quit to job, so joining to meeting was unnecessary. But then I thought I shouldn't say it over to phone. So I answered.

"Okay. I come."

"Good. I'm waiting you." Then he shut the call.

I was sitting there for hours with other teachers and listening to principal. I planned to tell him I was going to quit the job in Rosewood after he finished the meeting. But he was talking a lot. I was startled when my phone vibrated. I saw that I have a message when I looked at home screen.

"Come out."

I huffed. There was no name. Very good! A was playing with me again. After all of things happened I didn't even want to think A for second. I ignored the message but when I was about to put my phone in my pocket it vibrate again.

"I'm waiting you in the back garden. Come here in five minutes."

"Okay. If you want me to come that much, I'm coming." I thought. I didn't reply the message but I stood up and told principal I should go out for a while. He was about to protest but I didn't wait his respond and left the room. I was going to talk with that bitch or son of bitch. I didn't know who was waiting for me but I was going to be rough. They took my love from me. They took my life away from me. They took my Aria from me…

When I reached the back garden I looked around but couldn't see anybody. What the hell? Was that a new game? I huffed and turned back, I wasn't going to join that game. But I stopped when I heard someone called me.

"Ezra?" No, it couldn't be true. When I turned back I see her. The most beautiful girl I have ever seen was standing in front of me. I couldn't believe my eyes. It must be a dream. But when she started to talk for make me believe.

"No matter how hard I try, I can't stay away from you." She said with a weak smile. I ran to her and take her in my arms. I hugged her tightly.

"Aria." I whispered. I buried my head in her hair and took her beautiful scent. I didn't want to leave the hug but I loosened my arms for looking her.

"Don't go Aria. Don't leave me, please. I will do anything to gain your trust again. I'm so sorry. I wanted to die when you left me. I don't want to live without you-"she cut me with a kiss. After a second with shock I kissed her back. I couldn't believe I was kissing her. Could we come back together? Could she forgive me? Could I take her back? I was asking myself while we were kissing. After a few minutes she broke the kiss and looked at my eyes.

"Don't you ever talk about dying. We will live, okay? I… I couldn't. I couldn't do this Ezra. I couldn't stop thinking of you. I thought I could live without you. I thought I should have an easy life. I thought that I could do this. But couldn't. I just couldn't." She told me with tears in her eyes. I kissed her forehead.

"I thought of you every second. I thought how I could lose you. I thought of our happy or sad moment. I spent my days with missing you. Don't go, please. Give me a chance. I want to take you back. I know I don't deserve anything, but please…" I begged her. I could spend my days in here begging for her forgiving. I could do anything.

"I want you in my life, Ezra. We have bad and good days. I was so shocked and upset with you because of you lied to me. I understood why you did this. But I was too upset with you because of lying. I still can't get over it but we can find a way. We always can. We have to. Because just like you, I don't want to live without you either." When she finished tears were failing down to her cheeks. I wiped them and kissed her cheeks and eyes.

"I will spend my life with kissing and care of your scars. I will spend my life for making you happy. Are you going to be with me?" I asked her.

"Yes, I'm. I want a life with you. I want you on my side. I want you in my good and happy days. I want you with your all mistakes just like you do. Because I know that if don't accept these mistakes I can never get a chance to have beautiful moments you give. You are the man who can make me happy Ezra. I love you. And I will trust you again. It will take time and I don't know how long but we will get over this." I couldn't believe she wanted me again. I couldn't believe but I wasn't going to let her go again. I was going to hold her just like this.

"I love you too. I love you so much. We will be happy Aria. I promise you. We just need each other…"

I kissed her and we stayed like this. We were going to be together. We were going to get over this together. We were going to have a life together. I kissed and hugged her tightly. She was with me. Love of my life…

And this is the end... Sorry for all my errors, English isn't my native language. Hope you like it. I don't know is it good or bad. But tried. I love Ezria so much and want them to be happy. Whatever... Thank you if you read it. xx