My next story. :) Don't expect updates as quickly as last time. If you think that I'm taking to long to update, let me know. R+R!
Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) don't own South Park or anything else referenced. Smarv out!
Cartman P.O.V.
"Well, it looks like everyone is here. Let's begin."
I look around my basement. It appears that everyone responded to the urgent message that I sent out. Good. All eighteen of them need to hear this.
"Now before we start, does anybody have any questions?" I look around and an not surprised to see Butter's hand shoot up. "What, Butters?"
"Why does it have to be so dark in here, Eric?" he asks while playing with his hands nervously.
"We can't let anybody know what we're doing."
"But can't we just open the shades on the window—"
"God damn it Butters, if you're just going to be scared of the dark the whole time then get out here."
He sighs nervously but doesn't leave. I continue my speech.
"Now, I'm sure you're all wondering why I called you all here. As I'm sure you all remember, we all formed a club last year. One where we all gave an oath to fight for the club's principles in order to make the world a better place. I am talking, of course, about G.R.O.S.S.— Getting Rid Of Stupid Subhumans."
"The only reason we joined was because our first club mission was to hack the Scientologist bank account so that all of the members could get 100 dollars every month for being a member," Craig said in his usual monotone.
"And that money continued to arrive in your mailbox," I respond. "This club has done so much for this world already— we stole money from the Scientologists, we forced the gingers to sign a non-aggression treaty which won't end until," I look at my watch. "Oh shit, that ended last week. Anyways, I have a plan that will bring in even more money AND take out an imposing subhuman threat. I am of course talking about taking on the South Park girls."
Everyone immediately starts arguing. Some are for going against the girls, others are against it.
"What makes you think that we could get money from the girls? And since when are they a threat?" Kyle asks, going against my idea like usual.
"Just let me explain, Kahl. You see, the girls have this Congress of some sorts. I have footage of one of these sessions that will answer both of your questions."
I pull over a cart with my TV on it and turn it on. I put a tape inside and fast forward to a certain point.
"Now, I must warn you, this video is top secret and some of you may find it what you see disturbing."
(Onscreen: The fourth grade girls are in the same room from when they made the lists. Bebe is at the far wall at a podium. Two girls, Red and Wendy, are sitting in front of her. The rest of the girls are sitting across from each other against the two side walls.)
"I hereby call this session of the South Park Girl Congress to order. First order of business: Wendy, how is the school president campaign going?" Bebe says to the assembled girls.
"In order for us to remain in control of the student government, I estimate that we will need 37 more votes. I am requesting 22,000 dollars from the treasury for the buying of votes, paying people to keep quiet, and general campaign expenses," Wendy answers.
Red responds, "22,000 dollars will be granted to the campaign fund immediately. Keep us informed on whether or not you need more. It is imperative that Cartman does not win this election. We need to remain in power if we want to get control."
"Okay, next order of business. Milly, has the order come in yet?" Bebe asks one of the girls on the side.
"It has indeed arrived and I have placed the goods in the weaponry," the Southern girl responds.
"Good. Now, just a reminder, the weapons are only to be used when we are in a state of emergency or when the Congress has deemed it necessary to fight the boys—"
I turn off the TV and look at the people sitting around the table. The room is dead silent. I address the crowd.
"As you can see here, we have a situation on our hands. If I hadn't planted the camera, God only knows what could happen. We need to take action. I have formed a plan that will prevent whatever they are doing and bring in more money."
"Has the club's high council approved this plan?" Token asks.
"Yes. They have. It was Stan's idea to plant a camera because he wanted revenge for the breakup with Wendy. I showed the tape to Stan and Clyde and formed a plan. We all voted yes on it, so I will now inform you all on it," I answer.
"W...wh...whu...what is it, Eric?" Jimmy asks.
"It's basically a plan for extortion. We tell the girls that we know about their money stockpiles and weaponry. We will demand that they give them to us. If they disagree, we harm one of their members. Not real badly, but we will continue doing it with more and more severity until they give in. We will then put some of the money into my election fund to prevent Wendy from winning. Everything else will go to the club. Any questions?" I ask.
Nobody has any questions, so I start the vote.
"Now, if you vote no and the plan passes, you are bound by club rules to take part in the plan. Now, obviously, Stan, Clyde, and I have all voted yes already. Butters?"
"I vote yes!"
"Kyle?"
"I… I really think we do need to do something. Yes."
"Timmy?"
"Timmah timmah!"
"I'll take that as a yes."
And so it continues. Kenny. Tweek. Token. Craig. Scott Malkinson. All yes. Jimmy, Francis, DogPoo, Jason, and Bradley all agree. Damien, Kevin, and Pip allow the plan to pass, 19 for and zero against.
"It is hereby my duty to make sure that G.R.O.S.S. Operation Tranquility Restoration is carried out successfully."
