Chapter 1: Jon's Reflections.
It was cold and crispy day. The winter was here as Father always promised, Jon thought bitterly. The morning was hard on him. Words "Your Grace" still were ringing in his ears. Yesterday Jon was proclaimed King in the North.
"Shit". Jon cursed loud while moving towards forest. Ghost was walking lazy behind him. He didn't ask for this; he didn't want to be king. Everything happened so fast. Only couple months ago he was killed by his sworn brothers and released from his oath. Then Sansa showed up in Castle Black. Long fight for Winterfell, Rickon death. And then everybody decided to put a crow on his head. When Jon was a young boy he had a dream to be a Lord of Winterfell, to rule the house, marry a lady and live happily ever after. But he clearly understood the difference between dreams and reality. And now because of strange circumstances Jon become king
"For God's Sakes".
"Fuck".
What to do now?
And there were Sansa. His beautiful sister. She was there yesterday, sitting close to him, listening to all smaller houses promising their loyalties to the House Stark. And saying nothing while everybody were cheering. But her eyes never left him during the feast. Jon didn't know what to do and what to think. He had too many thoughts on his mind.
Yesterday he done the most foolish thing. He for god's sakes kissed her ! Kissed. As man kisses his women. As lord kisses his lady. And for god's sakes she was his sister. His mind was screaming in disgust. But something deep inside in his guts told him that this is ok. And that OK was making him crazy. How that can be OK to kiss your own sister. Fuck. Oh my, and from when he started using that kind language with all inappropriate words?
In the middle of the feast Sansa excused herself to retire and Jon offered to accompany her to her bedchambers. The walk was slow and silent and heavy. They both didn't know what or how to say to each other.
"Goodnight Sansa. Will we talk tomorrow?"
"Yes, of course. Goodnight Jon".
And then he bend for his usual kiss on her brow. But somehow he ended up kissing her cheek. Sansa was holding her breath but didn't move away. And then he was kissing her on lips. Sansa's eyes meanwhile were very widely open but she didn't move from the spot and after couple long seconds answered to his kiss by opening her mouse. That was intoxicating. Jon's hands wrapped around Sansa and she leaned into him. Suddenly they both stopped feeling that this was something unexplainable. Holding her breath Sansa fast closed her bedroom doors. Jon heavy looked around and returned to the feast.
And now Jon was running as fast as he could. The leathers and heavy winter coat added more to physical exercise. Looking around he saw a gap in the forest and headed to that direction. If his memory was correct soon he will reach small lake and cave near it. Definitely he can spend some time there and being alone to think. He strolled to that direction. For fucking sake what was he thinking yesterday. To be more precise, why the fuck he wasn't thinking. After the resurrection he returned different, more dark, less honourable, less expecting anything from life and with wider boundaries between good and bad. When he saw Sansa in Castle Black it was like a breath of life. She was his family. Doesn't matter what was their relationships in childhood and teenage years, she and he were the part of the same family. And family bonds are strong. Those months after their reunion were very hard as they had big task ahead of them. But also those months were the easiest in his life, he and Sansa were discovering each other as family members. They fight, they talked, they spent their evenings together drinking wine and talking about childhood. And that was something unbelievable. Jon knew he would have such relationships with Arya but was really surprised that he found satisfaction in similar relationships with Sansa. And there were something more. Shit. She was beautiful. And he saw that. She was strong and he respected that. She was smart and manipulative and he accepted that. Each passing day he was thinking more and more about her. During those months somehow, seven hells, his thoughts become lustful. He saw her breasts, thin frame, round hips, long neck and those long red hair. He would never look at Arya like that. But Sansa was different story. And yesterday evening all those thoughts become dominant and he kissed her.
Jon soon reached cave and lake. Dropped himself on the nearest tree trunk and started sob. Well, mens don't cry, how they say. And Jon being King of North, White Wolf, was crying as little baby. He knew he must return to Winterfell and meet her. Talk to her. Somehow explain yesterday's behaviour. And hope for the best. Just Jon wasn't sure what is the best outcome.
After sometime when the sun was high in the sky he started walking back to Winterfell. Soon heard Tormund's voice over shouting everyone else "I see him, he is fine !". Yep, he is the fucking king and can not do whatever he wants. But isn't that kings can whatever they want ? Well, he was coming back with his head bowed low and feeling as little boy who didn't listen to his lord father. Sansa was watching through the walls as her half-brother was returning back and feeling strangely elevated.
They met when he entered through the gates. She was waiting for him in court yard.
"Sister". Jon said trying to erase inappropriate thoughts.
"Brother". Sansa expected so much, but he with only one word draw the line and explained that what happened yesterday must be forgotten.
