Hey I don't own NCIS sob hope you like this as it's the longest I have ever written
This was just sort of floating around in my head so I decided to write it down.
"Hey rache where are you?" there were loads of places for her to hide and she was really good at hiding. He looked around him hoping to get a glimpse at her red shoes. He had given them to her for Christmas when they had watched the wizard of oz together she had fallen in love with the film and so he had gotten them they were like the shoes Dorothy had in oz. It was getting late he would just have to give up but he had had a bad feeling ever since a little after they had arrived after they had convinced the nanny to take them there. The feeling had intensified when he had seen the same beat up silver Volvo go past for the 5th time that day. He decided to walk to nearer to the road where he saw the same Volvo speed off down the road. He could clearly see the license plate X2E 4TR3 he had a bad feeling that something had happened to Rachel. He started running yelling her name.
"Rache come out, please, look I give up we have to get home for you birthday party" when she still didn't answer his yells got louder
"Rache if you don't come out now then you won't get your present!" he yelled in a hope that she might come out for that as the now 7 year old girl loved getting presents. But still she didn't come so he ran about looking for her until he tripped over something looking down he saw one of Rachel's beloved red shoes, the ones you had to force to get off her. He screamed…
Tony woke in a cold sweat his heart pounding after his nightmare no not nightmare memory. He looked over to his clock to see it say 2:15 am he had a little over 2hours sleep Gibbs had kept the team in late to finish the reports that were over due. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep he got up and took a shower to get rid of the lingering effects of the memory. The water pelting his body helped calm him and he couldn't help but smile turning off the water and changing into sweats. Going to his wardrobe he reached in and took out a box in it he kept all his precious things like a picture of him and Rachel on her 4th birthday.
"Happy Birthday Rache" Today was the 18th April and would have been Rachel's 31st birthday it was also the day she had gone missing.
"Don't worry Rache I'm not going to let anything ruing another of you birthdays ever again even if your not here with me I'll smile and celebrate" with that he placed the photo back in the box covered it and then went for a morning jog.
When McGee walked into the bullpen he was surprised to see Tony already at his desk working.
"Hey Tony your in early" McGee said sitting down at his desk and turning his computer on.
"Yep I want to finish these reports quickly then maybe Gibbs will let us out on time today" Tony said a big smile on his face. Just then Ziva came in
"So you got another date to get to? Which girl is it this time?" Ziva asked
"Well I think its Lisa or maybe its Karen I have to look that up before I go out" Tony said
"Tony you change women faster than you change clothes" Ziva said looking disdainful
"I always knew you wanted to take my clothes off" Tony laughed at the look Ziva gave him. He stopped laughing when he felt a sharp pain at the back of his head.
"DiNozzo quit goofing around and start working" Gibbs said taking a sip of his coffee.
"Sorry Boss" Tony said getting back to work wondering how Gibbs always managed to sneak up on him. As there were no new cases the team spent most of the morning finishing long overdue reports and looking over cold cases. Tony spent most of the morning annoying his team mates with his usual round of jokes. Gibbs looked at his senior agent and frowned he seemed exceedingly happy about something. He had to smack DiNozzo around the head 8 times this morning alone for disrupting the team and acting like a 9 year old and it was starting to bug him and the rest of the team.
Gibbs had just gone out for a coffee when he got back he saw DiNozzo throw a screwed up paper at McGee While he was typing. Going up behind DiNozzo he smacked the back of his head.
"DiNozzo this is not a playground go and pick up those papers and then get back to work" with that he went and sat behind his desk and watched as Tony picked up the pieces of paper he had thrown at his team mates while Gibbs had been away.
Just as Tony was throwing away the pieces of paper his cell rang wondering who it was as he didn't recognise the number he answered it.
"Anthony?" The voice that came from the other end made him freeze, memories he had tried to keep buried started to make themselves known. But after years of practice he automatically schooled his face into a smile of some sort. To the untrained eye or to people who didn't know him well he looked carefree maybe a little shocked. But to those in the bullpen they immediately saw him tense up and knew something was wrong. But Tony didn't notice this, his attention fully on the voice that used to haunt him, that had disowned him years ago.
"Anthony" that one word made him shiver "we need to talk"
"I'm sorry but I'm busy at work at the moment if you could call later then I'm sure we could arrange something" Tony said succeeding in not making his voice shake
"Anthony don't you dare hang up on me when I'm talking to you…" the terrible voice of his father started but Tony interrupted knowing that if he carried on the conversation any longer he wouldn't be able to keep his mask in place. The mask he used everyday since for who knew how long so people wouldn't find out that inside when he joked sometimes that in actual fact he wanted to find a nice corner and cry. And he couldn't do that especially today so he did the only thing he could and ended the call.
"DiNozzo something wrong?" Gibbs asked in a gruff voice. He had seen that as Tony had answered that call his body had tensed up and the way he had acted serious very uncharacteristic of him.
"Nothing Boss" Tony replied seemingly over whatever he had been going through
"Who was that?" Gibbs asked trying to get answers out of his senior field agent
"No one important boss" Tony said a bit more bitter than he had intended it to be
"Then get back to work DiNozzo" Gibbs ordered he decided he would tackle him about it later as maybe he would talk better if the rest of the team weren't there. And if that plan failed he could always ask Abby to find out. She was able to get most things out of him without too much effort.
The whole team noticed that after the phone call Tony became more hyper he teased McGee endlessly and picked up every little mistake Ziva made in her English and teased her for that. Every opportunity to make fun of his team mates was taken whether Gibbs was there or not. By the end of the day Tony was exhausted, keeping up the façade was always hard this time every year but today had been harder thanks to his fathers phone call. Just thinking about it made his head hurt he was feeling so many different things but he couldn't do what he wanted to which was to scream and shout and tell the bastard to leave him alone. He had made a promise to her all those years back and he wouldn't break it so he had to be happy and act like everything was just fine. Tomorrow he could break down and dwell on what everyone had said. He could remember the comments of the day when McGee had told him he was "hopeless" after he had gone on about another film. McGee hadn't realised how those words brought back terrible memories. Nor did Ziva realise how her threat to "knock his teeth out if he didn't grow up" did the same thing. Nor Ducky with his "Anthony", or even Abby with "Tony go away I'm busy". But what had hurt most that day was Gibbs when he had told him he "wondered why he had ever hired him" when his antics had caused McGee to spill his coffee. But through out the comments he had smiled and acted like it didn't affect him. Tomorrow was Saturday so no one would see his mask fall, then he could feel upset but not today because today was for only Rachel no one else not even himself. When he opened the door of his apartment he was surprised to find a man sitting on his couch. His hand instinctively went to his gun but he didn't draw it as he would know that man anywhere.
"Anthony so you're finely back" said his father as he walked towards him; Tony instantly tensed as his father reached behind him to close the door. He could smell the alcohol on his breath not a good sign that was all the warning he got before he was backhand across the face.
"How dare you hang up on me you little piece of shit!" his father yelled at him. Tony's hand went to his face where he was sure a bruise was forming.
"Answer me bastard who do you…think…you…are" With each of the last words his father punched him first in the face again giving him a black eye then in the gut. Tony doubled over and said nothing knowing that whatever he said would be wrong and make the bastard hurt him more. He was angry at himself that even after all these years he couldn't force himself to defend himself and hit him back. So he took the beating until his father stopped when he did at first all he could think about was how he would explain the bruises to Gibbs on Monday. He was thinking about jealous ex boyfriend that might work. He was interrupted from his thoughts when he heard his father's voice.
"Pack your bags you're coming with me" Joseph DiNozzo ordered his son.
"What… why?" Tony asked to receive a punch to the gut for his efforts.
"Don't question me Anthony you will do what I tell you."
"But where are we going?" Tony asked causally
"Were going back home" His father said giving him a glare that might even match Gibbs'.
"B but what about my job I can't just go all the way there without telling someone and they're all out at the moment and if I don't show up at work Monday on time then they'll be worried so it's just impossible" Tony said trying to meet his father's eyes but failing. So he didn't see as his father punched him once again but this time harder than the other times splitting his lip.
"You worthless shit I don't care and I bet that your boss would be relieved to see the back of a worthless dickhead like you. You're no use to anyone and your co-workers most probably despise you so you disappearing for a while we make them happy. Because Anthony no one cares what happens to you so you will come with me willingly or I'll drag your beaten ass back home myself" after that Joseph DiNozzo went to the door "you have 2hours to get ready"
"Wait why do you want me back after so long with no contact" Tony asked
"I don't want you back you son of a bitch" those words broke the small hope he had that his father wanted contact with him "They found Rachel's body and I want you to see the body of the sister you murdered"
At his father's words Tony's world went dark as he blacked out.
When he came to his father was gone he looked at the clock he had 1 hour before his father came back. Then he remembered the last thing his father had said to him "They found Rachel's body" Before he knew what was happening a red mist seemed to cloud his eyes. He got up and punched the wall the pain that flared up in his hand went unnoticed by him as his rage and sadness overwhelmed him. He hated everything around him; he tore his apartment to shreds even breaking his TV. But however mad he was he couldn't bring himself to break his DVDs as they were only one of a few things he had to remember her. As the anger left him slightly he went to the mirror hating the person it showed him. He smashed his hand into the mirror over and over again slivers of mirror and blood going over his clothes. He then began repeatedly hitting his head against the wall a bruise forming where he hit it. Looking at the clock he realised that he had 2 minutes before his father came back. He went downstairs and waited in the dark until his father showed up. In his numb state he didn't notice that he had left his keys, wallet and gun in his apartment and he also didn't notice that he left his door slightly ajar as he left.
TBC
So that's it for this chapter sorry if Tony or anyone else was out of character but it was the best I could do. Also I'm sorry if I got any information wrong please review I don't even mind if you're harsh just be fair.
