This is an early season one story, set between the Pilot Episode and the Gamble. Unfortunately it cancels out the Model Home.

I don't own the OC.

LN


They drove back to Newport in silence. A couple of times Sandy started to say something, but stopped himself after a glance at Ryan. The boy sat staring out the window, much like the previous day, only looking even more miserable and not even trying to make conversation. Sandy figured he should say something comforting, but he couldn't come up with something that didn't sound hollow or forced. So he kept quiet. The boy probably needed some space anyway.

Ryan didn't see the sceneries outside the window. In his mind, he kept reopening the door of his house, hoping every time that he'd see anything else than the empty room. He knew he wouldn't, though. He also knew they were going back to Newport and Mr. Cohen's house – where he wasn't wanted – and he didn't want to go there. But as he didn't know anywhere to go he figured he'd just do what Mr. Cohen told him to do.

Sandy turned off the engine. The boy didn't move.

"Come on." Sandy said, opening the door and stepping out of the car.

Ryan got out on the other side and followed Sandy towards the front door. He'd thought Mr. Cohen had wanted to warn Mrs. Cohen, like he'd done last time, but apparently he didn't.

Before opening the front door Sandy turned towards Ryan.

"It's going to be okay." he said, trying to meet the boy's eyes.

Ryan wouldn't look at him, but he nodded.

Nothing would ever be okay as long as the room in his head was empty, but it was easier to agree, easier to nod than to say anything. Besides, who was he to disagree with Mr. Cohen? If the man was kind enough to take him in when no one else would – again – he wouldn't ruin it by talking back.

Kirsten entered the living room when she heard the door close.

"Sandy, I think we need to-" Seeing Ryan, she froze. "Oh."

Ryan wished Mr. Cohen would have let him wait in the car.

"Hi, Mrs. Cohen." he said quietly.

"Hello Ryan." she said with a forced smile. Quickly she turned to her husband. "Sandy?"

Ryan stared at his feet, highly uncomfortable.

"We'll be right back." Sandy said to him as the couple disappeared into the kitchen.

Soon the yelling started, as Ryan had known it would. He didn't hear the words, but even though they obviously tried to keep it down the sound of raised angry voices was way too familiar. As was the heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach, the one he'd never call by its name. And the guilt of course; his fault, always his fault. His mind swirled. He couldn't let those people fight over him, not after being so nice to him. He had to do something, anything, to make them stop.

He made a quick decision and started out towards the kitchen, making enough noise to let them know he was not sneaking close, trying to eavesdrop. As he got closer he could make out the words.

"What do you mean, 'no choice'?"

Feeling in stomach growing heavier, he knocked on the doorframe, and as the two upset faces turned towards him he avoided their eyes. Not that he thought they would, like, do anything, did he? No, but he knew interrupting an argument was always a bad idea.

But they wouldn't do anything, they were too polite, right?

"Um, sorry.. to.. disturb you. But I was wondering, could I use your phone?" He glanced up at Mr. Cohen, and saw the surprise on his face. But the man nodded.

"Yeah, sure. It's right over there."

"Thanks." Ryan mumbled and grabbed the phone.

As he returned to the living room he pretended to dial a number, but he never actually did. Instead he put the phone to his ear and spoke into the silence.

"Hi, can I crash at your place tonight?" He paused for what he thought was a reasonable time for someone to answer and then said "Okay."

Not that he thought the Cohens were listening, just in case. The yelling seemed to have stopped though, so mission accomplished. When he turned around and saw Rosa standing behind him he winced, surprised. She smiled at him and he smiled back, for a brief second wondering if she'd been there all the time, and if she'd understood. Shaking it off, he returned to the kitchen.

Rosa smiled to herself. He seemed to be such a nice boy. She could see why he'd rather stay here another night than to stay with one of his friends over in Chino. She wouldn't tell on him.

"Um.. okay, so I found a place to stay tonight." he said before the Cohens had time to start.

Again, Ryan saw the look of surprise on Mr. Cohen's face, and started to explain.

"It's a friend.. he wasn't home last night.. I'd, you know.." He realised he was babbling, and drew a deep breath. "So, anyway. Thanks again for letting me stay. And.. for everything. I'll get going."

Sandy looked at Ryan, and then at Kirsten. He saw the relief on Kirsten's face, and he was sure Ryan saw it too.

"But you'll stay for lunch, won't you?" he heard Kirsten ask.

Now she knew the boy would soon be out, she apparently turned on the hospitality again. He sighed. He couldn't really blame her, could he?

Ryan shook his head. "No. Thanks, but no. I think I'll just.. go."

A look of concern appeared on Kirsten's face and she said "Are you sure? You didn't have any breakfast, did you?"

"No, I'm fine. Thanks."

Sandy, seeing how uncomfortable Ryan was with Kirsten's attention, interrupted.

"Okay, so come on. I'll drive you."

"Nah, it's okay. I'll take the bus."

Mr. Cohen frowned and Ryan's mind raced. If Mr. Cohen drove him he'd need an address, and there was no address, obviously. And Mr. Cohen would insist he'd stay, and the yelling would start again. He briefly considered asking Mr. Cohen to drop him off at the McDonalds, but judging from how the man had followed him into the house yesterday he'd probably insist on driving him all the way – possibly even walk him to the door.

"I.. think I'd like to be alone.. for a while." he said. He stole a glance at Sandy, and was relieved to se him nodding, accepting this request.

Sandy followed Ryan to the door, and after a moment's hesitation he asked "Do you have money? For the bus?"

"Yeah." He didn't. "So again, thanks for everything."

"No problem kid. I'd like you to come to my office tomorrow morning, and we'll try to figure this out, okay? We'll find your mother, I promise."

Ryan nodded and shook the hand Sandy offered him, then turned and walked down the driveway. Sandy watched him leave, and felt his insides fall apart as so often with those kids. There was only so much he could do.


Rosa was on her way home when she saw the table set for three. At first she didn't think anything about it, but after a few moments she started to wonder what it meant. Wouldn't they let the boy eat with them? She didn't want to think so. She found Kirsten to say goodbye.

"I'm on my way" she said.

"Okay, thanks for today." Kirsten replied, smiling. "See you tomorrow."

Rosa hesitated, but finally asked "Where is Ryan? Isn't he going to eat?"

Kirsten looked up again, mildly surprised. "Ryan found a friend to stay with tonight."

For a second, Rosa was confused, but suddenly it dawned upon her. She realized that the reason Ryan had only pretended to call someone wasn't to stay here another night. He'd wanted not to stay here. And he hadn't called anyone because he had no one to call, no one to let him in for the night. Had he wanted a rejection, he probably would have called someone for real.

Hesitantly she asked "He didn't call that friend from here.. did he?" though she already knew the answer.

She saw Sandy walk into the room, followed by Seth.

Kirsten looked surprised, but said "Yes, he did. This morning. Why?"

Father and son sensed something in the air and silently waited for the answer.

"Because.. he didn't actually call anyone."

They all stared at her, not comprehending. Rosa wasn't sure she should have told them this, if Ryan didn't want to be here.. if he'd rather stay somewhere else?

But when Sandy asked "What do you mean?" she answered him.

"He just pretended to call someone. I saw him."

"What- Why would he do that? And why didn't you tell us?" Kirsten asked, perplexed.

Rosa shook her head. "I'm sorry. I thought he didn't call anyone because he didn't want to find a place to stay, I thought he wanted to stay here."

Kirsten and Sandy looked at each other.

"Do you think..?" Kirsten started, and Sandy nodded. He was sure their fight over Ryan was the reason he'd felt he couldn't stay.

Seth, who up until now had been uncharacteristically quiet, asked the question that was going to linger in their minds for the rest of the night: "So, where's Ryan now?"


Ryan found a playground with swings and a small shed. He looked inside, decided it would do, and made himself comfortable. He was tired. Exhausted, really. And hungry.

It had taken longer than he thought it would to walk back to Chino. He had intended to stay in his old house, but judging by the stuff gathered in the house someone else had beaten him to it. Probably some junkie, and he didn't feel up for a confrontation, so he just left before whoever inhabited his old house returned. So he had continued walking, and now he had ended up here.

Tomorrow, he had a meeting with Sandy. He hoped he'd wake up in time to clean up a bit. He drifted off to sleep.