Apple White was strong, strong enough to try and rip away her growing feelings for her roommate from her heart.
She was strong when every fiber of her being was shaking, begging her to stop. Telling her she was betraying all that she was and worst of all, begging her to to stop what she knew deep down would inevitably lead to Raven's downfall.
Beautiful Raven, who deserved more than the devastation she would undoubtedly bring upon her.
But she had to be strong, she whispered to herself a harsh reminder of what was to come. She would be strong she had to be. She would be strong enough to be the villain hidden in the shadows of her story and so with a heavy heart, Apple sealed away her heart as best she could and embraced the dark role that would bring her to her happily ever after.
—
It didn't stop her heart from swelling from the feel of the other girl's lips on hers. It didn't stop the crushing pain that followed after, when she'd laid on her back, eyes unseeing as she thought about the what it all meant. It had begun and the guilt was suffocating, wrapping its tendrils tight around her neck, weighing her limbs and constricting tight around her heart, growing worse every time she would cave into her desires knowing in the end what she was doing was wrong, oh so wrong.
And on the day when she would convince Raven to poison her, she would cry for hours on end about what she would inevitably do the girl once it was done.
She knew Raven would do it. The love ever present and radiant in the girl's eyes proved it. It was a love so intense and warm like nothing she had ever felt before, not until Raven came along. With every loving look sent her way, her breath would catch and her heart constrict, how could she ever hope to deserve such love, when she was so despicable?
With every touch and every look her resentment for her so called destiny grew. How was it Raven, sweet, beautiful, heart of gold Raven, could love her so intensely so unconditionally and yet be labeled her story's villain when the vapid charming boy who loved himself more than anyone was labeled her 'true love'?
It was complete bullshit. But destiny was destiny and Apple may have been strong enough for a lot of things but she wasn't strong enough to confront destiny so blatantly. Not when the fear of losing Raven and having her disappear was too great.
With the thought of Raven's future in mind, a future alongside herself she would steel her resolve again and again.
She would continue with this hellish plan, succumbing to her heart and tainting every pure emotion Raven deserved. All the love that should have been given, returned through no ulterior motive, was sullied by this repulsive yet necessary scheme. When Apple had gone running to Raven's home hidden deep in a forest, the tears she staining her cheeks were real, the pain true, but the reason all together different.
She had claimed people harassed her on those topics for years and it was true, but she'd grown to ignore it. No longer did it sting to be reminded of superficial features not with the crippling guilt she felt every day. No one could hurt her like she hurt herself. Nothing hurt her more than knowing the sparkle ever present in the witchling's eyes whenever Raven looked at her, would die because of her.
She had to be strong.
—
She woke up to Charming's 'dashing' face in front of her, teeth all sparkle and yet the first thing she felt was disappointment, disappointment it wasn't Raven inches away from her. It should have been Raven's gentle lips waking her up not the rough blonde's.
The mere thought sparked an overwhelming need to see the witch. The girl whose heart she owned and tortured day by day but couldn't let go.
Raven was hers and she was Raven's even when it looked like she was Daring's, nothing could change that. She would be strong and do what she must and with that fragile strength in hand she planned her wedding to the narcissistic prince.
Weeks later she wandered, her steps heavy with the burden of a guilty heart, to the place where the remnants of her heart lay, in the devastated hands of one Raven Queen.
She'd stayed with the woman then, whispering poisoned promises between kisses. Each word sharp across her soul, but she couldn't stop, wouldn't stop. She would do anything to stay with the woman.
After all, Raven was a drug, an addiction she could never hope to survive.
—
The wedding was beautiful, an ever after dream any princess would love, yet Apple couldn't bring herself to care.
Her eyes closed through most of it, hoping, wishing it was a dream but the dread that settled in the pit of her stomach, heavy and unsettling told her otherwise. Even as she turns to face the blonde prince who would be king, her eyes stay closed unwilling to look at him as they share their first kiss as husband and wife.
The tears her body fights to spill, held at bay by her eyelashes.
Regret spikes in her heart, it should be Raven here with her, Raven's arms wrapped around her slim waist pulled flush against her. Raven's lips pressed against hers, not this boy's, man's. Never him, but she must.
So Apple calls upon what little strength she has left, building up her armor higher than the castle's gates and turns to face her guests.
Her chin held high, her pose a picture of elegance and confidence radiating from ever inch of her being. She was beautiful, a picture of strength.
She wavers then, when her eyes land on the devastated pair of Raven Queen, tearful and dim, her form shaking. She's hidden by the large crowd, standing off to the side in the back. It takes one look at her quivering lips, of eyes so painfully sad, trying and failing to look accusing and instead seeming so accepting of the fact as if it was only naturally for Apple to all but betray her, to said a crippling wave of remorse through her. It is then, her carefully built fortress threatens to tumble.
She exhales a shaky breath tightening her arm around Daring who's to enamored by the attention to notice.
She tries to get across how sorry she is for everything she's done, for all she will do, for the pain Raven is undoubtably feeling with a single look, but Raven is already turning all but running out the doors.
Apple's fragile heart begins to fracture at a higher rate, soon she too will be heartbroken.
She can't chase after her, not now, not with so many people watching, so she pushes the limits of her strength careful to appear the perfect queen she's expected to be.
She did what had to be done, now Raven is safe. Safe to be hers for ever after even if the world never knows.
—
She refuses to share a bed with the new King demanding instead separate room joined by a single door, a well kept secret from all.
Every night she'd go to the other side of the castle, an abandoned wing holding one single person, a person who meant the world to her, the one she would always be strong for.
She'd lay in bed arms full of her storybook's villain content to have her if only in secret.
—
They wanted her to have a child, so soon after they'd gotten married, but Apple held strong for as long as she could.
For as long as it took for Raven to find a way for them to have children together. They would have at least this, and if the children seemed to exhibit magical powers well it would just be blamed on some sort of after effect from the poisoning.
Apple couldn't give Raven much, even as a queen, but she could give her this, she would give her a child of their own even if it would never carry her name but that of Charming's they would both know it was hers.
It was by pure luck the child ended up blond like one of it's mothers. Apple didn't care, she was perfect with her eyes a strange mix of their own and her own blonde curls.
—
There were nights when Apple would storm into their shared room, muttering as she walked back and forth ever so often voicing her troubles to the witch.
Raven, bless her heart, would listen word for word encouraging her, reminding her how strong she was.
She'd fall asleep in her arms, content worry far from her mind.
Every time it happened, without fail, the problem would be resolved with in the week.
Apple wasn't naive enough to not notice how Raven's eyes seemed to dim ever so slightly, how she'd grow even more quiet.
She knew it was her. She also knew the best thank you, was the one kept silent.
The reminder of what Raven had done, would only serve to slaughter the light even faster.
So she kept silent pushing past the guilt she felt. She would not stop her, it was for the best. For her kingdom.
—
When Raven Queen died, one Apple White, lost the will to be strong for the woman who held her heart had gone taking her heart along with her.
It was then, Apple wrote down everything from the beginning, confessing her feelings and every single thing she'd ever done and of the beauty and kindness that was Raven Queen.
Months later she too passed away, never waking from her sleep with hopes of seeing her darling witch once more an apology pleading on her lips and an aching in her chest begging to be filled.
A/N: Here's the companion piece, it's slightly longer but hopefully it gives a better look into Apple's motives while still shitty. Hope your day is going well and if it's not I hope it takes a turn for the better. Please share any thoughts you might have. Thank you.
