conn (v.)
1. to direct the ship
or in which Sulu finds his soul mate
Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu is twenty-one when he's assigned to the USS Enterprise. He's a helmsman with some experience under his belt, not much mind you, but enough. He's a helmsman who's worked with several different navigators, not many mind you, but there've been a few.
He hasn't found his place yet, this he knows. He knows he's still young but there's an innate longing that is part of the human condition, all people long to find some kind of belonging.
Hikaru is not the Enterprise's helmsman. He's still a junior officer. It just so happens Pike's main helmsmen came down with lungworm. Which is how he meets Chekov, Pavel Andreievich. Later, much later, Hikaru will liken it to the feeling of coming home.
The Five Stages of Discovering Your Soul Mate
i. Interpersonal Compatibility
It's pretty much instantaneous. They don't have the chance to say ten words to each other before chaos descends though. There's a small part of his mind that realizes this at the time. He treasures that feeling- that they didn't have to say ten words or ten thousand words.
The ease and comfort that defined their working habits creeps into their personal lives as well. It makes sense of course but the longer they work together the more seamless their interactions become until Hikaru realizes he's stopped counting Chekov, Pavel Andreievich as separate from himself.
ii. Intimacy
The intense experiences that are part of the daily life of the Enterprise reinforce their bond of course, and it doesn't take long for the rest of the crew to begin to associate them as belonging together as well.
It's all very convenient for the senior officers. And when Hikaru asks why they aren't bothered by it Spock just says: "Your intimacy has quite a positive effect on crew morale."
iii. Affinity
In an attempt to grow as individuals they decide to take some time apart, make some new friends and because the Captain may have insinuated that they couldn't... They manage to stay away from each other for less than a week. Not even four days before they're sitting together at lunch again, a strained studied silence between them.
Gaila throws herself on the seat in-between them. She looks back and forth a couple times as she crams in replicated greens. "Aren't you guys bored yet?"
And she's right- Hikaru is so bored! He's had a thousand ideas that he's been desperate to share. If the look on Pavel's face is anything to go by he's had two thousand.
Neither one notice when she leaves nor her mutterings on kindred spirits.
iv. Spirituality
There's something about facing down death everyday that really forces you to be honest with yourself about what's meaningful to you. It hurts at first of course, like stretching any new muscle.
In the end the crew settles on believing in unity, interconnectedness with a larger reality and their ability to do good works. They're all also connected to each other loyalty to the Enterprise and bring each other home safe.
Every time Pavel smiles at him Hikaru believes in all that and more.
v. Love
It doesn't take half the five-year journey for Hikaru to realize he loves Pavel. It barely takes him six months to realize his personal attachment to and affection for the young man is completely long-term in vision. Over time he's proven correct by random and spasmodic bursts overwhelming fondness.
Whatever happens post Enterprise Hikaru knows he'll follow Pavel to the end of the galaxy.
Maybe one day he'll even tell him.
