Fragments of Dawn
Pairing: Seto x Jounouchi
Warnings: Sexual content, non-consensual (rape), violence, abuse, language, shounen-ai/yaoi
Type: Companion to Ashes of Dusk; one-shot
A/N: Hello, everyone! Here's the companion to Ashes of Dusk I decided to write! This time, it's from Jounouchi's point of view. I must say, this fic is very disturbing, so if you're not into the whole "Seto gets the best of Jou and dominates him" kind of thing, I would highly suggest not reading. I am issuing a very strong warning for sexual content, so if you don't like that, go elsewhere. Thanks! : )
I would like to thank all of my reviewers for Ashes of Dusk, so here it goes:
Kiki: Oh, yes, sadistic psycho is quite accurate! lol! Thanks for reading!
devotedtodreams: Awh, thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it so much! –giddiness-! : ) : )
iloveatem: Don't worry, it freaked me out, too! : This one's even worse! ; Glad you liked it, though!
Yohko Kiyoto: Woo! Glad you liked it!
Kate: Glad you came in with an open mind and ended up liking it! : )
Val-Creative: Thanks! Oh, deranged Seto Kaiba... –shakes head- You're going to see him be even more deranged... : )
Kalinovskaja: Man, I always look forward to reading your reviews! Thanks for reading! And I'm glad you enjoyed the dark take! I'm not really a fan of the deranged Kaiba, but I like to take a chance and try something different! : )
Costume Ball: Thanks! I really appreciate the "in character" compliment! : )
melodyz07: Thanks for reviewing! Well, here's the sequel, but unfortunately, it just gets darker. ;; Thanks for the suggestion, though! And hey – I've thought of writing a fiction where Jounouchi is the seme, but I've yet to conjure up a good situation where that will occur! I'll think of something, though, I'm sure! : )
There you have it! I must say, if you're looking for something happy, this is not the fic to read, lol! I apologize for any OOC-ness from either Seto or Jou, but I had to in order to make this fic work! : ) Also, though I spent a lot of time editing and revising, I don't think I'm quite happy with it! Please leave a review and tell me what you think! Constructive criticism is always welcome! : )
Enjoy!
I knew I had lost from the moment I felt you seize me by the wrists and slam me into the brick wall with unspeakable force. I was so stupid; to trust you, to let you lure me to you lair. What you had done to me after school two weeks earlier should have been a fair warning. You had forced your mouth on mine and told me flat out that you "wanted to break me" and "dominate" me.
I was terrified beyond a shadow of a doubt. You were – are – so much physically stronger than I am. I actually had bruises from where you had grabbed me. When I finally made it home that night, all I could do was look at the bruises you had given me and wonder what the hell was wrong with you.
It's my fault, though. I shouldn't have trusted you. You took me aside one day after class and quietly apologized for your previous actions. Your voice, your eyes – everything was so damn sincere. It was hard not to believe you. Then you started talking to me like a human being and I thought you had changed, that you were truly sorry for what you had done that day.
You invited me over to your house, and I eagerly accepted. Something told me not to go, that your sincerity was a lie, but I ignored that instinct. I went to your house, meeting you at the front door right at nine o'clock pm, like you said.
You gave me a tour, offered me food and drink, and then led me to your basement. Extravagantly furnished, complete with a big screen TV and a recreation room – it was great. I asked where Mokuba was and you said he was staying at a friend's for the weekend. Then you wandered away from me, and told me to follow. Stupidly, blindly, I did, thinking you were going to show me something else. I should have caught the look in your eye – the deranged, hungered, lustful look I had seen before.
You were lingering by the fireplace, right in front of the couch. The wall surrounding it was brick and I noticed numerous photographs adorning the expanse of the wall. You looked like you were going to show me a picture – but you took me by surprise and smashed me against the brick, scraping some of the skin on my arms.
You looked at me steadily, blue eyes lustful but sharp.
"Kaiba, what are you doing?" I demanded quietly. The same terror that had gripped me before was back again, but worse. This time we weren't in a public place, and I knew I was in some kind of danger. I struggled feebly against your iron-grip.
"Oh, Jounouchi, I thought we went through this in the park." Your words were so cold, so calculating.
"B-But you apologized and you said that – "
"It's not my fault you believed me," you said, obviously studying the expression on my face and looking into my eyes.
At that point, I whimpered softly. It unsettled me how your demeanour had changed so quickly, and how powerless I really was against your incredible strength. I tried to picture you as I ran away that day. You were standing there, stiffly, hands at your sides and eyes glazed over; so unfeeling.
"I want to break you," you whispered hotly in my ear, leaning in to bite my earlobe.
I shuddered. Break me? Didn't you realize that I was already broken enough? I'd suffered so much in my life and now you wanted to make me suffer more. It was disgusting. "I don't understand."
It was the wrong thing to say because you slapped me and you slapped me hard. My mouth fell open in shock as I felt the heat from where your hand had met my cheek.
"I hate people like you!" you snarled. "You're always happy, smiling – no matter what. I don't know how you do it, but it's just plain wrong; it's not natural. Well, after I'm done with you, you'll be hard-pressed to ever smile again!"
I just gaped at you, hardly believing what I was hearing, my hands trembling slightly. Surely you felt the trembling in your grip.
"And you, Jounouchi, well... besides that annoying quality, you're beautiful and I want you so much. You don't know what you do to me at night, when I think of your face, your body." You shuddered, reaching out to caress the mark you'd left . "What I want, I get – and I want you. I want to break you, so you will only come to me, for me – I want to make you mine."
That's when I panicked. Your words were so terrifying, so psychotic. I kicked out, hitting you just above the knee and you let go of me, grunting in pain. I took off past you, running as fast as I could, only to be tackled to the ground moments later. I should have known that you would recover fast, that you'd get the better of me. That's just how you are.
I tried to roll, but that only put your hips firmly against mine so you were straddling me. With one hand, you held my wrists together while the other pushed up my shirt.
"Get off!" I screamed, struggling against you wildly. "I don't want you, I don't want this!"
My words fell on deaf ears as you snarled and raked your fingernails down my chest and back up again, brushing roughly over my nipples. It was painful, and though I couldn't quite see, I was positive that you had drawn blood.
By this point I was nearly hyperventilating from the shock, from the realization that you were about to have your way with me despite my protests and reasoning. "I'll press charges!" I threatened.
You just looked at me and smirked, blue eyes grabbing hold of my own amber ones. "Like I said before, Katsuya, who's going to believe you over me?" You leaned down then and kissed me roughly, shoving your tongue into my mouth, biting at my lips. I tried to close my mouth, but you somehow kept it pried open.
"Kaiba – Seto," I begged, using your first name, "please, you don't want to do this!"
Grinding your hips against mine, you said, "Of course I do, isn't it obvious?" Apparently that was your attempt at sick humour.
I felt helpless as you touched me and kissed me. I couldn't win the power struggle, no matter how hard I tried. I didn't understand why you had such lustful feelings for me, why you had to dominate me and show me "who was boss." It scared me because you were supposed to be my enemy, an odd comfort – not my rapist.
"Kaiba," I whimpered, "you're hurting me."
You just looked at me, cocked your head to the side and said, "I know." You let go of my hands and lifted my shirt up over my head. You seemed quite convinced that I wasn't going anywhere, so you left my hands free. You discarded your own shirt as you started kissing my body hungrily, biting me and running your tongue over the wounds.
I wanted to give up and just get it over with, but I was determined for you not to break me. So when you were distracted by trying to remove my jeans, I reached forward and grabbed a fistful of brunette hair, yanking it hard. I gave your chest a forceful shove and rolled out from under you.
You yelped in surprise at both actions and hit the floor hard, landing on your back.
I scrambled up, but you reached out and grabbed my leg, tripping me.
"You're making it so much harder on yourself by struggling, Jounouchi," you growled, venom dripping from your words. "Why don't you just give up?"
No matter what I did, it seemed, you always managed to get the upper hand. I didn't want you, anything to do with you, but you just wouldn't let me go. I was lying on my back, breathing heavily, pants halfway undone and you hovering threateningly over me.
You glared at me and then yanked my jeans all the way off. I feared that if I struggled any more that you would actually kill me. "Don't do this, Kaiba." I tried to sound forceful and confident, but I was terrified.
"Stop trying to escape," was all you said as you resumed your ministrations. I felt your hand slip into my boxers and start to stroke my member. I blushed, breathing heavily, feeling ashamed that my body was reacting so quickly. No one had ever touched me like that before and I had never had sex, so it was hard not to become lost in the sensations.
I hadn't even realized that I had closed my eyes and was leaning unwillingly into your touch until you demanded gruffly, "Look at me when I'm touching you. I want to see your eyes."
I reluctantly opened my eyes, not wanting to look at you. You were observing me, your face much gentler and relaxed then it had been moments before.
Then you did something that surprised me – you leaned down, kissed me gently, and whispered into my ear, "I love your eyes." You proceeded to discard my boxers and the rest of your clothing. You wrapped your hand around my member once more and moved it up and down rhythmically.
I tried to stop from groaning, but it was so difficult. I didn't want to give you the satisfaction of pleasuring me when it was something that I wanted no part in. This was madness, absolute madness. I looked up, gazing into your eyes.
You smirked. "It seems the mutt wants this more then he's willing to let on." You increased the pace and the pressure of your ministrations and I felt the tightening in my stomach. I was panting at this point, extremely close to release. I could feel the tension; just a couple more –
Then you stopped. You took your hand away and let it trail up my quivering body. "I have control over you, Jounouchi. Absolute control."
I was so hard that it hurt and as much as I hated to admit it, I needed release. I swallowed, my mouth incredibly dry.
"Get on your hands and knees," you demanded then, gruffly.
A cold fear struck my heart, but for some reason, I obeyed. I wasn't even given a warning as you tore into my completely unprepared body and began slamming in and out mercilessly. The sensation was not pleasurable for me at all, and I think you may have known that. I could feel the slow trickle of blood run down my thighs as you moaned and quivered, quietly saying my name over and over again.
When you were close to release, you began stroking my member again, roughly. I felt my stomach convulse as I came inaudibly. I would not give you the satisfaction of moaning or crying out your name. Your release soon
followed and I felt your essence pour into me. You pulled out right away, and I collapsed onto the floor, breathing erratically.
It took a moment for the reality of events to settle in my brain. You'd raped me and you'd done it without mercy, to show me that you were better and that you could have whatever you wanted, including me, at will.
I felt dirty as the tears began to trickle freely down my face. It hurt so much – mentally, physically, and emotionally. Why – how – could you do this to me? Why did you have to hurt me? I'd never done anything particularly horrible to you. Then you go and pretend to reconcile with me and do this! I was outraged at myself that I had let you overpower me; that I had believed your lies.
You heard my quiet sobs and reached for me, but I pulled back. I got up off the floor and gathered my clothes, legs shaking. I was surprised that you didn't try to stop me as I began putting them back on hurriedly. You just watched me, your facial expression emotionless.
You did the same as I, putting your clothes back on, and then we just stood and stared at each other. You, coldly observing my state, and I, trying not to be sick.
"Now you know, Jounouchi, what I've wanted for so long," you stated quietly. Your eyes flickered.
I clenched my fists, a dark, unsettling feeling of violation washing over me. "I hate you. I don't know what you think you got out of this, but – "
You sneered, obviously satisfied with your work. "I got exactly what I wanted." You reached out to wipe a tear away, but I flinched. That seemed to be the reaction that you wanted because you chuckled darkly and said, "See?"
You were right – the thought of you touching me again sickened me. Yet, as I covered my face in my hands and cried, I didn't pull away when you wrapped your arms around me. Instead, I leaned into your embrace, shaking and sobbing. My entire body hurt; I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was run away from there, from you. But I couldn't. I let you hold me even after you had taken me against my will.
You stroked my hair and said softly, "I win, Jounouchi. This war you and I had going is finished. I showed you who is better. Now you know and you will never forget. When you open your mouth to make some smart remark to me or try to start a fist-fight, you will back down because you will know."
I couldn't see your eyes because my head was buried in your chest, but I knew they were shining with power, with twisted obsession. I felt helpless because I'd let you win.
"I am your master," you whispered in my ear, "and don't you forget it."
And I can't forget it, because no matter how hard I scrub in the shower, or how many times I look away from you, I cannot erase the memory of your rough kisses and touches. I want to – but I can't. Your dominating presence is always there, lingering inside me, around me, in my dreams. It won't go away no matter what I do. I hate that I can't get rid of you; I hate that you love watching me silently suffer.
Well, congratulations, Seto Kaiba, you've succeeded in destroying my very existence.
Fin
