¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·' ¤ Cross-eyed Vixens
a spur-of-the-moment drabble by Kaze no Aika
» Funny story behind this. We were reading excerpts from "The Know-it-All" by A.J. Jacobs in my creative writing class. The phrase was Cross-eyed Vixens. Our teacher pronounced it "Cross-eyed Vexens."
» Warning: all dialogue ahead.
- - - - -
"Can you really go cross-eyed if you stare at your nose too long?"
"…What?"
"I asked, 'Can you really go cross-eyed if you stare at your nose too long?'"
"I heard you the first time. Why would you ask such a thing?"
"Axel said if you stare at your nose for a really, really, really long time, you can go cross-eyed."
"You shouldn't believe everything Axel tells you, Demyx."
"Roxas also said it's true."
"Roxas is not to be trusted, either."
"And that's why I came and asked you."
"Pardon?"
"Well, you are the Chilly Academic after all. I figured since you're so super smart that you could give me an answer."
"Not now, Demyx."
"Why not?"
"Can't you see that I'm busy?"
"…You're doing the daily cross-word in the Twilight Town paper."
"And it's an antagonizing endeavor, I assure you that. Now run along. Go annoy Larxene or drown Marluxia's garden… or something."
"But I want to know if you can go crossed eyed by staring at your nose too long."
"No."
"Please."
"Leave."
"Vexen."
"Demyx."
"Vexeeeeeen."
"Damn it, Demyx!"
"Answer me!"
"All right."
"Well?"
"No, you can't go cross-eyed if you stare at your nose too long."
"Prove it."
"What?"
"Prove it's not true. Scientific method!"
"Not now."
"Why not?"
"I'm busy."
"You're doing a cross-word puzzle!"
"Go away."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Ye – why am I still talking to you?"
"Vexen."
"…"
"Vexen."
"…"
"Vexen."
"…"
"Vexy."
"If you promise to never call me by that repugnant name ever again, then yes, Demyx, I'll prove it: you can't go cross-eyed by staring at your nose too long."
"Sweet."
"Now pay close attention, Number Nine. I'm staring at my nose… See? Staring… Staring… And… there! See? Didn't go cross-eyed! Now, run along! Tah-tah. Bye-bye. Go away."
"No way, jerk-off! You need to stare at your nose longer than that!"
"Fine! We'll do this again; this time, longer."
"Right."
"Ready?"
"Yep."
"Alright, here we go. Keep time. Five minutes, starting… now."
"…"
"…"
"…One minute in."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…Three minutes in."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…And time."
"There! You see! I did not go… go… Damn… Oh, stop your snickering."
"Axel! Roxas! You owe me 1,000 munny! He did it! He actually went cross-eyed!"
"DAMN IT, DEMYX!"
- - - - -
.fin.
