Of Life and Guilt
By SarahSoph
Disclaimer- None of the characters belong to me. They really belong to CBS etc, I just like to pretend.
A/N: In my mind Speed hasn't died yet and he never will. It helps that us Aussie's haven't seen Lost Son yet. Also inspiration for the title came from my friend Sam, whose suggestion I tweaked, then he tweaked again to make it sound even better. This is dedicated to him.
He stood watching her from the doorway. He didn't know how long he'd been standing there. A long time at least. Just standing. Watching her.
She was so different to the way he was used to seeing her. He was used to the bright no-matter-what attitude, coupled with the never-fading smile and the cheerful as always voice with that accent he liked so much.
Now what he saw in front of him looked like a fallen angel, sullen.
He stepped forward, thinking it was about time to make his presence known. She didn't look up, didn't seem to register at all that he was in the room.
"It's not your fault you know."
Still she didn't look up, but he'd seen her jump at his voice.
He grew closer til he was standing right next to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up into his eyes and he didn't like what he saw in them. Worry, pain, guilt.
She spoke softly. "We both know that's not true. I was there. I could've stopped it." She looked away.
"You didn't know what was going to happen, neither of you did; and what if Horatio'd been there alone, no-one would have called 911 and the guy would have got away. You did all you could."
She didn't say anything to that just changed the subject. "What if he doesn't make it? Have you heard anything?"
"Eric's down there right now. I think Alexx is with him. As far as I know nothing's changed. But he'll make it Cal. Horatio's strong, he'll fight."
She nodded and he knew there wasn't much else he could say in the way of reassurance. They would have to and see how Horatio faired.
Tim reached down to give her a hug, which was normally out of character for him, but he thought she looked like she needed one. They could use all the support they could get now that their fearless leader wasn't around to hold them together. Calleigh hugged him back with the greatest amount of energy he'd seen in her since the shooting. As he pulled back, he drew her to her feet and looked around.
"Looks like you've still got some work to do to finish off the case. Need a hand?"
Calleigh nodded as she pulled herself together, taking a deep breath. It was then that Speed noticed the few tears running down her cheeks. He reached out to wipe them away before turning to the work ahead of them.
"Come on. Let's get started."
