Author's Note: Okay, this is my first attempt at a fanfic so tell me if it sucks alright? Reviews VERY much appreciated since I'm sort of winging this story.
Warnings: Yaoi (boy x boy) don't like, don't read; incest; eventual angst (and maybe a lemon if I ever find myself up to it.) Rating MAY go up!
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto…let's just say I wouldn't recommend it for anyone ages 17 or lower.
Kankuro stared listlessly at the back of his brother's head. Somehow, he was again ensnared by the imagined possibility of a heart to heart talk with Gaara, only to find himself listening to the same thing that his brother always said. Any conversation he tried to hold with Gaara seemed to end up in the same speech on Gaara's part. Not that Kankuro was complaining about his brother's sudden decision to start speaking. It was undeniably nicer than when he was indifferent, silent and cold-blooded. However, it was always about him. Whenever Gaara spoke, there was never a word that came out of his mouth that didn't revolve around him, that boy that had seemed to change Gaara in one single meeting. The boy whose sunny radiance, never say die attitude, and immeasurable devotion to his friends was now the driving force in everything Gaara did. It was as if only he existed in Gaara's small, secluded world. At this, Kankuro couldn't help but feel a twang of jealousy. He was, after all, Gaara's brother. Why was it that this boy could make a greater impact on Gaara in a day than his own brother could in a lifetime? He longed for the days when he was the only one that cared for his brother, when he was the only one that Gaara didn't feel endangered by. However, now there was him, this boy who could truly understand Gaara's pain: Naruto.
Kankuro couldn't help but resent the fact that Naruto had gotten so close to Gaara in a manner of days. It had taken him years to earn his brother's trust, and he was family. However, worse still was knowing that he had no right to feel the jealousy that he knew was there. To feel this way was wrong; Gaara was his brother, yet Kankuro loved him in a way no brother should. To want his brother in such an intimate way made Kankuro feel so dirty, so wrong. Kankuro shook his head of the incestuous thoughts and once again tuned in Gaara's words. However, as his surroundings blurred back into focus, he realized that he was now a matter of inches away from Gaara and staring at him straight in the eye, as opposed to the back of his head.
Kankuro's heart did a flip and he leapt back in alarm. "What the hell Gaara? When did you get there? You almost gave me a damn heart attack!" For once, Kankuro was glad that his heart was working overtime to keep his blood pressure normal, because he knew that if it wasn't, his blood would instead be rushing south because of his and Gaara's close proximity.
"You were doing it again," Gaara replied, clearly unfazed by his brother's seemingly serious panic attack. "Your eyes weren't registering anything, Kankuro. I was standing there for several minutes. What were you thinking about?"
Kankuro scratched the back of his head nervously and struggled to fight back the blood he knew was rushing to his face. "Sorry, Gaara. It's nothing really, nothing important anyway. What was it you were saying about Naruto?"
Gaara frowned, a tiny, microscopic gesture that would have been missed by anyone else. However, Kankuro picked it up easily and knew that he had said the wrong thing. "I wasn't talking about Naruto anymore Kankuro, I was asking you a question."
Kankuro smiled sheepishly and looked back at Gaara's now unreadable expression. "Heh, sorry Gaara, I must have spaced out. What was it you wanted to ask me?" he said hopefully, but knowing full well that he wouldn't receive an answer.
"It was nothing really, nothing important anyway," he replied, flinging Kankuro's word back at him at full force before turning around and walking back into the house. Kankuro fought the urge to visibly wince at the stinging tone in which his answer had come back to him and instead started after Gaara.
As he was walking through the kitchen to the stairs that let to the attic, Gaara's permanent residence, he was stopped by his sister gesturing for him to sit down with her. He knew what it was she wanted; it was the same thing every time. Still, sitting down and talking to her was easier than trying to explain to Gaara why he had spaced out during their conversation.
Sitting across from him, she smiled openly and Kankuro resisted the urge to answer her question before it was asked. "How was he?" she asked inquisitively, "What did you talk about this time?"
'Temari, you should know by now that the only thing he ever talks about is Naruto.' Instead of saying that though, he settled for a more discreet response. "He said that he wanted to become Kazekage, kind of like how Naruto wants to be the Hokage."
Temari's smile broadened. "That's so nice! I can't believe Naruto had such an impact on him. It's as if we brought home a completely different Gaara from the leaf village."
"I wish we had the old one back" Kankuro mumbled, softly enough so that his sister wouldn't hear. He looked back up at her and waited for her to continue speaking. When she didn't, he started to get out of his chair, only to be stopped by Temari's voice yet again. This time, however, it was preceded by a sigh.
"Sometimes, Kankuro, I really envy how close you and Gaara are. You're the only one I know who Gaara will actually talk to. It's been like that since you were kids." Temari grinned a little, remembering something from around that time. "Wasn't he the one who first decided to draw on your face?"
At this, Kankuro couldn't help but grin. After all, it was true. When Gaara was nine he discovered a box of paints and amused himself by painting on Kankuro's face while he was asleep. Kankuro woke up to Gaara staring intently at him and telling him that it actually looked good. Kankuro threw a fit and started to throw everything within reach at his younger brother, only to have it deflect off of his sand and hit the ground, leaving a trail of broken objects on the floor of Kankuro's room. Even then, Kankuro was fully aware of his less than normal feelings towards his brother and misaimed the flying projectiles on purpose. Even though he was fully aware that his brother couldn't be hit, it was still hard for him to throw anything at Gaara.
Kankuro looked up at his sister, the ghost of a smile still on his face. "Yeah, yeah he was." However, as Kankuro thought about his relationship with Gaara, he couldn't help but detest the bitter truth that they were still brothers, nothing more, nothing less. Without another word, he left the kitchen and a confused Temari behind in favor of his unoccupied room so that he could be let alone to brood over the cruel irony of the world.
(A/N) Damn…Kankuro turned out more emo than I thought he would be…Oh, well…review please, it what motivates me to keep going!
