THE PLATYPUS'S NEW GROOVE
A crossover by Micah Hirsh
We open on the Flynn-Fletcher family, visiting Peru.
LINDA FLYNN
It was a great idea to visit Peru for our vacation, Phineas.
LAWRENCE FLETCHER
Ah, Yes, Peru. Home of the Andes Mountains,
We see the Andes Mountains.
LAWRENCE FLETCHER
Machu Pichhu,
We see Machu Pichhu
LAWRENCE FLETCHER
…And a significant amount of the Amazon Rainforest.
We see the Amazon rainforest, and we zoom out to see a tree, on the tree is a bug. A monkey comes out and eats the bug.
LAWRENCE FLETCHER
Yes, what a beautiful place.
CANDACE
Yeah, but what's up with the chimp and the bug?
FERB FLETCHER
Actually, that's a monkey. Chimps are apes native to the regions of East Africa.
CANDACE
Who cares?
PHINEAS
Hey, where's Perry?
We see Perry, who pushes on a brick in the ruins of Machu Pichhu, he then drops down a tube and enters his lair. He sees his boss, Major Monogram on a screen in front of him.
MAJOR MONOGRAM
Greetings Agent P, coincidentally, Dr. Doofenshmirtz has built a hideout in the Andes Mountains. You must find out what he's up to and put a stop to it. Good luck Agent P.
Perry leaves his lair, and we cut to the outside of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Mountain Hideout
JINGLE
Doofenshmirtz Mountain Hideout.
Perry bursts through the wall of the hideout.
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
There you go again, always breaking through my walls, Perry the Platypus.
Do you know how much this mountain hideout cost me?
Well, it wasn't cheap; just let me tell you that.
Now, you're probably wondering why I, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, would build a secret hideout in Peru.
Well, the Incas were lead by a powerful emperor who they worshipped and adored, so, I'm going to go back and time to meet their emperor, and with his advice, I shall become Emperor of the Tri-State Area! It's a pretty good plan, huh? Yeah I thought of it myself.
How will I travel back in time? you ask? Why, with my all new, Time Machine-Inator!
Arividerchi, Perry the Platypus…
That means good bye in Italian. See ya!
Doofenshmirtz activates the machine and is sent to Incan times.
We see text which reads:
A long time ago, somewhere in the Andes mountains.
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
I'm here, finally! Now, where to find the emperor?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz sees a large palace in the mountains, with a golden mask like entrance at the top.
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
That's probably the place.
We see Doofenshmirtz, entering the palace; he bumps into a tall, muscular man, with a gold hat, and a deep voice.
KRONK
Uh, hello.
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Hello, I'm here to see the emperor.
KRONK
Do you have an appointment?
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Uh, yes. My name is Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
Kronk pulls out a list of people who have an appointment with the emperor.
KRONK
Sorry, uh, theres no Heinz Doofenshmirtz on the list.
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Did I say Heinz Doofenshmirtz? I meant uh…
Doofenshmirts looks around and sees some bricks in the wall…
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Brick…
Doofenshmirtz looks around again and sees an ancient tapestry.
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Tapestry.
Yeah that's my name, Brick Tapestry.
Kronk checks the list again.
KRONK
Well we do have an appointment for Brick Tapestry, right this way please.
Kronk shows Doofenshmirtz to the throne room, and pokes his head in, to see the emperor, a young man, with long hair and turquoise earrings, wearing a golden crown, and a long red robe.
KRONK
Your heighness, Brick Tapestry is here to see you.
KUZCO
Okay, show him in.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Um, hey there, um…
KUZCO
The name's Kuzco. Emperor Kuzco. Why have you come here today, Mr. Tapestry?
DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Well, I come from a far off kingdom known as Danville, and I'm going to run for emperor.
So, I was wondering, if you have any tips that well help me get elected?
KUZCO
You don't run for emperor, Mr. Tapestry.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Well then, how do you become emperor?
KUZCO
It's sort of a royal blood thing. One of your parents has to have been emperor or empress before you.
The only other way to be emperor is to get rid of the current emperor.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ
And how do I do that?
KUZCO
Listen, I don't really know much about overthrowing an empire, but I think I know someone who might be able to help you.
We cut to Yzma, talking with Doofenshmirtz.
YZMA
So you want to become emperor, of this…
DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Danville.
YZMA
Danville.
Now, what's in it for me?
DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Well, uh, what do you want?
YZMA
I don't know, perhaps I could be your royal advisor?
DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Deal!
Thanks, Yma, you've been a great help?
YZMA
It's Yzma.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Gesundheit.
YZMA
Now, give this potion to whoever the Emperor of the Tri-state area is…
DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Roger.
YZMA
Alright, give this potion to Roger, and he will turn into a Llama! That way, he can't be emperor! It's brilliant!
Doofenshmirtz then leaves, preparing to return to his time.
YZMA
Ahahahah! I'll travel to Danville, and turn Doofenshmirtz into a platypus! Then I'll become Emperess of Danville! It's Brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant!
KRONK
But, uh, how are you going to find out where Danville is?
YZMA
It's simple Kronk, It's in the future!
You see, I've time traveled before, with my evil time machine, and when you've been time traveling, you give off a certain scent!
KRONK
Oh I see… that's a pretty believable excuse. Wait a minute; didn't you get rid of that old time machine?
YZMA
Yes, but I've invented a new one!
KRONK
Well that's convenient.
YZMA
Now, to the time machine!
Kronk and Yzma run to a time machine, with only one lever.
YZMA
Pull the lever Kronk.
KRONK
Uh, this lever?
YZMA
Yes Kronk, that's the only lever.
Kronk pulls the lever, and the two are sent to the future, we then see Doofenshmirtz, who has returned to his hide out.
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Perry, it was wonderful! I got advice on how to take over the Tri-State Area.
You know Perry, it's funny, I didn't actually think Incas spoke English.
Yzma then arrives.
KRONK
So this is what the future is like? I like it. It's shiny.
YZMA
Kronk, it's technically not the future when you're here, it's the present.
KRONK
Oh…
Wait, now I'm lost.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ
How did you get here?
YZMA
We time traveled.
KRONK
Yeah, Yzma wanted to turn you into a platypus so she coud take over Danville…
Yzma then angrily interrupts Kronk.
YZMA
Um… what he means is that… well… I'm going to be your advisor right? So I have to be in the same time period as you.
DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Oh… but wait, how did you know I was from the future?
YZMA
You had the smell of time travel on your breath.
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Oh. I see. That's a pretty believable excuse.
We cut back to ancient Peru, and see Malina in Kuzco's palace.
KUZCO
Something is wrong here Malina. I've gone a whole week without Yzma turning me into an animal.
MALINA
And that's a bad thing?
KUZCO
No. But it's a change.
And me no likey change.
Malina takes a second to think about the situation.
MALINA
Well, we all know Yzma is obsessed with power, and the only reason she'd give up on you would be if she had found an easier target.
KUZCO
Your point being?
MALINA
My point being, Yzma left to take over some other empire.
KUZCO
Nah, I don't think that's it.
TELEGRAM GUY
Telegram for a Mr. Couscous?
KUZCO
It's Kuzco.
TELEGRAM GUY
Gesundheit.
KUZCO
Okay, hand it over.
Dear Kuzco,
Kuzco reads the note, and as he reads, we hear Yzma's voice reading it.
YZMA
I have found someone even dumber then you, who's going to be emperor of a far off land known as Danville.
So, it will be much easier to get rid of him.
I am leaving for Danville and will never return! Don't try to go looking for me, because you won't find me.
KRONK
Yzma, I thought you were going to the future.
YZMA
Kronk! You weren't supposed to tell them that!
KRONK
Well you're the one who gave me the pen, I mean it's not like I just say something and then it randomly appears on the letter somehow.
YZMA
Ignore what Kronk said.
Goodbye.
KRONK
P.S., she's going to the future!
YZMA
Kronk!
Kuzco reaches the end of the letter, and sees a note which reads:
Continued on other side.
Kuzco turns the letter to the other side.
YZMA
They're not supposed to know that!
KRONK
Well why didn't you say so?
Anyways, you get the point, I'm leaving to an undisclosed location, which is not in the future, and I will never come back.
With hatred_
Your former advisor, and future empress of Danville, Yzma.
Kuzco finishes reading the letter.
MALINA
Told you she left.
KUZCO
But poor Danville. Having Yzma as an empress is going to be horrible for them…
Oh well, better them then me.
MALINA
Kuzco! We have to save them.
KUZCO
But we don't even know where Danville is.
MALINA
That's right Kuzco, But we do know WHEN it is.
KUZCO
What?
MALINA
Kronk said they were going to the future.
KUZCO
Yeah, but Yzma said they weren't.
MALINA
Kuzco, who are you going to trust more? Yzma or Kronk?
KUZCO
Yeah, good point.
But how are we going to get to the future?
MALINA
It's simple. Time is like a river. It's constantly flowing. If we can make our way through that river, we should be able to get to the future.
KUZCO
And how are we going do that?
MALINA
With a time machine!
KUZCO
And how are we gonna find one of those.
We then do a wipe transition, and see Malina and Kuzco, in a time Machine.
KUZCO
Man I just love those wipey things.
MALINA
Alright Kuzco, here we go.
Malina flicks a switch, and the two are sent to the future. We cut to modern day Peru.
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Now to catch the next plane to Danville.
YZMA
Come Kronk we must follow him!
KRONK
Right! I'm coming.
Phineas and Ferb notice Yzma and Kronk.
PHINEAS
Wow, those sure were some weird looking tourists.
We cut to the Andes Mountains, where Malina and Kuzco arrive in their time machine. The time machine breaks in the process.
MALINA
Were here!
KUZCO
But the time machine is broken!
MALINA
Interesting. Perhaps the time machine used up so much energy on the trip, it blew a fuse.
KUZCO
Well, how are we gonna get back home?
MALINA
I'm sure we'll figure something out.
They leave the mountains and see Phineas and Ferb.
MALINA
Maybe they can help us.
KUZCO (sarcastically
Yeah, sure.
Puh-lease, you really think two 12 year old boys are going to have a time machine?
Malina then walks up to Phineas and Ferb.
MALINA
Hi, I'm Malina.
PHINEAS
Hi Malina, I'm Phineas, and this is my brother Ferb.
KUZCO
Phineas, Ferb, have you seen anything unusual?
PHINEAS
Well there was this tall guy, and this old lady who was… well how would you describe her Ferb?
FERB
Scary beyond all reason.
PHINEAS
Yeah, that's it.
KUZCO
Do you know where they went?
PHINEAS
They said they were following some man, to catch the next plane to Danville.
MALINA
Phineas, do you know how to get to Danville?
PHINEAS
Yeah, actually me and my family are from Danville. Were about to catch the next plane.
MALINA
Well that's convenient. Can we come?
PHINEAS
Well, we'd have to get you tickets. And plane tickets are pretty expensive.
KUZCO
Don't worry, I'll get us in.
We then cut to see Kuzco and Malina inside the airport, where they meet a young man at the ticket counter
KUZCO
I demand you give me two tickets for your next flight to Danville.
AIRPORT EMPLOYEE
You have to pay first, sir.
KUZCO
Pay? I'm the emperor; you should pay me.
AIRPORT EMPLOYEE
Nice try. There hasn't been an emperor here in over 500 years.
MALINA
Kuzco, let me try this.
Sorry about him. He's kind of crazy; He thinks he's the emperor.
We tried to take him to the doctor, but the only ones we think can help are in Danville.
So, we were just wondering if, maybe, a nice, tall, handsome man such as yourself might be able to let us in for free. Just this once?
AIRPORT EMPLOYEE
Alright, you can come in.
Malina looks back at Kuzco, with a smug smile on her face.
KUZCO
Well sure, it's easy to get in for free when you're a hottie-hot-hottie.
We cut to Danville, where is trying to give the mayor (his brother Roger) a llama potion.
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Hello, brother.
I thought about it, and I decided to get you something special. You know, to apologize for all those times I tried to get rid of you.
ROGER DOOFENSHMIRTZ
You tried to get rid of me?
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Never mind that part. Just drink this drink.
Roger drinks the potion and turns into a llama.
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Hah! Now that you're a llama you can't be mayor! And I'll run, and get everyone to vote for me!
YZMA
And I'll be his advisor.
And to celebrate your new position, I have prepared you this!
Yzma hands Doofenshmirtz a drink, which is actually potioned to turn him into a platypus. Just as Doofenshmirtz is about to drink the potion, Kuzco bursts through the door.
KUZCO
No!
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
What, can everyone time travel now?
MALINA
Whatever you do, don't drink that!
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Why not?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz drinks the potion anyways, and turns into a platypus.
YZMA
Ahahahah! Now that you've been turned into a platypus, I'll become empress of Danville!
KRONK
You mean mayor?
YZMA
Fine, I'll become mayor of Danville.
We then cut to 2 weeks later, and see Perry in his lair.
MAJOR MONOGRAM
Greetings Agent P, Dr. Doofenshmirtz has gone missing for two weeks now, and that just sound's suspicious. You must find out what he's up to and put a stop to it!
CARL THE INTERN
But, sir, if he doesn't know where he is, how can he stop him?
MAJOR MONOGRAM
Shut up, Carl.
We then see Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who is still a platypus, drop into the lair.
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Perry?
Perry the Platypus is that you?
Perry does his chatter thing.
It is you! Perry, the most horrible thing happened! I've been turned into a stinky smelly platypus! Platypus face!
Perry, you have to help me find the antidote to that potion that old lady gave me.
Come on, let's go.
We cut to Malina and Kuzco, arriving at Phineas and Ferb's house.
MALINA
Phineas, Ferb!
We need your help.
KUZCO
That old lady you saw, she's my former advisor, Yzma, and she's trying to become mayor of Danville.
MALINA
And trust me; you don't want her for mayor.
Candace walks out into the yard.
CANDACE
Um, who are you?
PHINEAS
Candace, this is Kuzco and Malina.
Kuzco, Malina, this is my big sister, Candace.
MALINA
Nice to meet you.
CANDACE
Phineas! Didn't mom tell you not to talk to strangers?
KUZCO
We are not strangers. I happen to be emperor!
CANDACE
Haha! You're joking right?
KUZCO
Um, no.
CANDACE
Phineas, Ferb, did you go back in time while we were in Peru?
PHINEAS
I don't think so.
CANDACE
Alright then, clearly, this Couscous person is crazy.
KUZCO
It's Kuzco.
CANDACE
Gesundheight.
Phineas and Ferb, you are so busted!
I'm telling mom.
Candace then runs off to get her mom.
KUZCO
She has issues.
Anyways, we need your help stopping Yzma.
PHINEAS
Well the mayor of Danville was supposed to open a new exhibit at the zoo. Maybe we should go there.
We cut to the Zoo, where Yzma appears.
YZMA
Sorry, but due to an unfortunate accident, Rodger Doofenshmirtz has resigned his position as mayor.
And now to open the newest exhibit at the Danville Zoo is his chosen successor, Me!
One of the spectators raises his hand and asks a question.
YZMA
Yes?
SPECTATOR
Aren't you a little old to be mayor?
YZMA
Why yes, yes I am. Any other questions? No? Good.
Now bow down before your new mayor, Yzma!
Phineas and Ferb arrive at the zoo, and they see a large crowd of people.
PHINEAS
Here we are, but there are a lot of people here, so it might be hard to find Yzma.
We see the large crowd and pan to the side to see different people in the crowd. Among the people in the crowd is a giant floating baby head.
MALINA
Wow, that's a big crowd.
KUZCO
But what's up with the giant floating baby head?
PHINEAS
you know, I'm not really sure.
MALINA
There's no time to question pointless running gags right now, we have to stop Yzma!
We see Yzma, about to be given the key to the city, when, Perry and Doofenshmirtz appear, and work together to battle Yzma.
YZMA
What's this? You? There are two of you?
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Yzma, meet my nemesis, Perry the Platypus.
Doofenshmirtz spots his daughter Vanessa in the crowd.
DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ
Oh look Perry, it's Vanessa! Hi Vanessa!
VANESSA
Dad?
Don't be silly dear, that's not dad, that's a platypus. They don't do much, you know.
Malina then takes the podium from Yzma.
MALINA
Attention everyone!
The mayor is okay, he's just a llama!
He was turned into a llama by Yzma!
YZMA
What? No, I didn't do it.
POLICE MAN
Your under arrest for turning the mayor into a llama.
YZMA
I didn't do it! I'm just an old lady, how could I turn the mayor into a llama?
POLICE MAN
Yeah, sure you didn't do it. Tell it to the Judge.
PHINEAS
Wow. I wonder what the penalty for turning the mayor into a llama is.
MALINA
Phineas, there's something you need to know.
PHINEAS
What?
MALINA
Kuzco and I. Well, were not from here. Were not from now, were from the past.
We came to stop Yzma.
PHINEAS
You mean, you're Incas?
KUZCO
Yes, we're Incas.
MALINA
Now you can't tell anyone about this, if this gets out to the public, who knows what kind of trouble we'll get into.
PHINEAS
Don't worry. Your secrets safe with us. Right Ferb?
We see Ferb using the zipping mouth gesture.
MALINA
Good.
KUZCO
Well, we better get going.
PHINEAS
What about the mayor?
KUZCO
Oh, I'm sure the llama potion will wear off.
Roger Doofenshmirtz walks in, and we see he is now human.
ROGER
He's right. It wore off.
The crowd cheers.
MALINA
Well everyone, that was our little show, we hope you enjoyed it. Mr. Mayor, you can open the exhibit now.
ROGER
Show?
PHINEAS
Just play along, Mr. Mayor.
ROGER
Yes, well thank you. That was a very entertaining performance. I now present to you, the Danville Zoo's New Llama exhibit!
PHINEAS
Well that's a funny coincidence
MALINA
Phineas, Ferb, we sort of need a way to get back home… if you know what I mean.
We cut to the Flynn/Fletcher family, Kronk, Malina and Kuzco, back in Peru.
LINDA
Ooh. Lawrence, honey, let's go check out Machu Picchu.
After Lawrence and Linda leave, Phineas and Ferb unveil their time machine.
PHINEAS AND FERB
Here you go. A working time machine.
MALINA
Thanks Phineas and Ferb. Kuzco, Kronk, let's go home.
The three board the time machine and prepare to flip the switch. Candace walks in and notices the time machine.
CANDACE
Phineas and Ferb, you are so busted…
Malina gives Candace "The Stare" ( an angry look that get's people to do what she wants.) and Candace changes her mind.
CANDACE
Did I say you're busted? Because I totally meant you are so NOT busted. Just wanted to be sure you understood.
Malina gives a satisfied smile.
KUZCO
Well, bye everyone.
PHINEAS, FERB, AND CANDACE
Bye.
We then see Kronk, Malina, and Kuzco back in their time period.
KUZCO
Well, that was fun. We got to see what the future is like, and we saved a whole city.
KRONK
Yep. And now that we're back at home, everything is back to normal.
We then return to modern day, and see Yzma, locked in a cell at the Danville Prison. She notices a guard who resembles Kronk, and asks for his attention.
YZMA
Excuse me, officer!
OFFICER PATRICK
Yes, mam?
YZMA
You remind me of a friend of mine. Do you know a man by the name of Kronk?
OFFICER PATRICK
No, mam, I've never heard of such a man.
YZMA
Alright Kronk, you can stop joking around now. I know it's really you in disguise.
OFFICER PATRICK
My name is Patrick; I don't know who this Kronk person is. Sorry.
YZMA
KROOOOOONK!
THE END
