I should start by talking about myself a little bit. I'm the author of a new section of this newspaper, where we look into a more intimate side of celebrities. This is not a space for them to talk about their new album or gossip, this is genuine, just to learn what's really on their minds. No filters, just the truth. And who else is better at spilling the truth, at being more honest than the rest, than world famous band, Gorillaz?

This note is about them. I've been following Gorillaz, interviewing each member separately over the course of several years, since some point after the release of Plastic Beach to this day. And so far, this is what I've written, a journey through the band.

The first interview I did was the very first of my career. I had the honour of interviewing a giant. A literal giant. Lots of things are literal here. You'll find out soon. So, this the first interview, some years ago, when Plastic Beach was still the novelty. Let's begin:


On Del and Family

Interview with Russell Hobbs, 2010

I've had the amazing opportunity to interview worldwide famous band Gorillaz. I still can't believe it, I'm just an intern. As a tiny miserable boat is carrying me to their new lair; a shiny, pink plastic island with a white mansion on top, I wonder how it will be. But I don't have to wonder no more; before even reaching the bright pink Plastic Beach, we stop nearby a huge, polished brown rock, which turns out to be the head of their gigantic drummer, Russell Hobbs.

"I don't mind being a giant, but I sure do miss my fridge" he comments when I ask him how does he feel on his current position. "And if someone asks me again how it is up there? I swear I'm gonna kill them"

I'm glad I didn't say that joke out loud.

"I miss my drumsticks too. Both edible and not edible. But it could be worse. I always liked sushi, so raw fish doesn't bother me at all. There's a lot of raw fish here, so it's cool. I just miss my bed sometimes. And my little girl too. I mean, she's here, alright, but not completely. Her mind, I mean, I think her mind is drifting. That's a horrible feeling I know very well. I hope she doesn't drift too far."

He goes quiet for a while, I guess it must be tiring to be swimming all the time, but I don't think he'd fit inside the island. He's probably thinking the same thing, since he looks towards the island with apprehension, but quickly catches me glancing at him, and chuckles.

"You know, I didn't picture this would happen to me. I wasn't expecting a normal life, either, but… not this. Del, he always wanted a normal life. He wanted a huge family. He'd tell me sometimes about his plan, which involved us meeting two fine ass women and starting our own families, and having lunch on Sunday and all that shit" he laughs "He'd say 'Imagine me, man, surrounded by those crazy little fuckers running around, and my woman cooking some meals… And your family can stay with us…'

He smiles, but not at me. He's remembering, I think.

"Even after he died, he'd come across some stupid ideas, like me helping him find a woman, and being the surrogate father of his children. He'd live his family through me. I would have helped him, in an instant."

"But it didn't last long, either."

He stops for a while. It seems his past haunts him even more than all the ghosts that lived inside his mind. Their absence is the real ghost here, the thing that took away his soul. His eyes are so white, the ocean reflects on them, making them a deep, turquoise blue. He looks back at me, and surprisingly, smiles directly towards me, like a gigantic, trapped and gentle Gulliver inside a Lilliputian world.

"You already know how Noods came to our lives, but you don't know the whole story. After she said her first English word, the one of her name, there was a long, awkward silence. No one dared to talk, and her confidence flaked a little bit."

"'Mōichido yaritaidesu ka?' She asked after a while, but none of us spoke Japanese at the time, so we didn't know what to say.

'Welp. There's our guitarist. Now, if you excuse me, I'm a wee bit… thirsty' Muds said, and he left to the kitchen. D was still speechless, I think, and I was the only one worried about the little creature.

'Lil one, where are your parents?' I remember asking her, and she gave me a very long monologue I of course didn't understand. But I figured they'd be back soon, looking for their weird daughter who'd probably packed herself inside a Fedex box on a whim. So, a few weeks passed, and I kept waiting for her parents to come pick her up. One afternoon, I had enough. The ambient at the time was too poisonous for such a young creature, and I decided it was time to take her home.

'Take her home? This is her home now! She's my guitarist and I'm not letting you take her away from me!' Murdoc yelled at me, but of course his green weak ass got nothing on me.

'This is not a home' I remember telling him 'I'm going to the police and fill a found child report. What if her parents are looking for her?'

'Oh yeah, her parents. I'm excited to meet them, Mr. Linguini and Mrs. Spaghetti.' Murdoc retorted

'Those are pasta names' D said, amused.

'Of course they're pasta names, that's the joke-! Ugh. Listen, mate, you can worry all you want but I'm not letting you take my guitarist away.'

'We don't even know her name!' I said

'Her name's Noodle! She told us.'

"She didn't! She just said Noodle. She might have been hungry.' D added, thoughtfully, and Muds threw an ashtray to his head. He yelped and cried.

'Shut up, you faggot!' Muds yelled at him, while the other one whimpered

'D's right' I said, raising my voice 'Maybe all this time she's been starving and we haven't fed her because we're a bunch of idiots.'

Muds started retorting again, but I didn't listen to him, because Noodle appeared on the room, and shouted her second word in English:

'Stop!'

The three of us looked at her in bewilderment.

'Watashi wa koko ni inakereba naranai. Kore wa watashi no atarashī iedesu!' She cried and ran to hug me. The girl was so tiny, she couldn't even reach my thighs. Man, it was like a revelation for me. I had never felt such a thing before. It was raw love, man. The pure kind of love, not the shit we degenerate and then dare to call love. This was real.

"That day, I bought a Japanese dictionary, which I started carrying with me everywhere. And that night, after sleeping on the couch for some weeks, she finally slept on a bed: mine, and I slept on the floor next to her. I was like a puppy, I just wanted to be around her."

"I remember I told her a bedtime story she probably didn't even understand, and tucked her to bed, and as I watched her slowly drifting away to sleep, Del appeared next to me, and for a while, everything he'd ever wanted was right there in front of us.

'Well, there you have it' I remember telling him. 'There's your family now.'"