Fowl Play by Jersey Girl in Oxford (Sue)
Don't own the characters. Just having a little fun.
Stephanie was in her bathroom getting ready to go shopping with Lula when her cell phone rang. Thinking it was Lula calling from her car outside, she answered, "I'm almost ready…be right down."
"Ready for what, Babe?" Stephanie smiled at all the possibilities that were running through her mind.
"Sorry…thought you were Lula. What's up?"
"Need a favor. Be over in 5." He disconnected before she could reply. She bit her lower lip. This could present a major problem. She was in the 'on-again' phase of her off-again/on-again relationship with Morelli. Although there really hadn't been much 'on' to it.
Exactly five minutes later, Ranger was at her door. Before he had a chance to let himself in, like he did every other time, she opened the door to greet him. He was carrying a cage that was covered by a red cloth.
"What is that?" she asked him as he walked passed her and set the cage on her counter next to Rex.
"This…is the favor I need," he replied with a straight face. He pulled off the cloth to reveal a large parrot. A slow smile spread across her face.
"What am I supposed to do with that?" The bird looked around at its new surrounds.
"New house," squawked the bird. Stephanie gave Ranger a confused look.
"I have a very high profile client that has been discreetly frequenting a local brothel. Last night, the place was raided. Apparently, the bird likes to talk. My client is nervous about what the bird will say. I've heard it says some pretty rude things. I have to go out of town this weekend and need you to watch the bird for me." The bird looked at Stephanie.
"New house. New madam." Stephanie giggled and the corners of Ranger's mouth twitched.
"Who knows, Babe, it might give you some ideas." Stephanie rolled her eyes. "Besides, I remember a time not too long ago there was a horse in my garage that was using my shower gel." The bird looked at Ranger.
"New house. New madam. New john." There was a knock on the door. It was Lula.
"I was going to call but saw the Batmobile outside and decided to come right up," Lula explained fanning herself as she got an eyeful of Ranger. "What the hell is that?" The bird looked at Lula.
"New House. New madam. New john. New ho." Lula charged the cage and shook it. Stephanie and Ranger pulled her back.
"Did you hear that? That damn thing called me a ho. How does that bird know I was a ho? I'm going to take your little ass down to meet the Colonel!" Lula was furious. Laughing, Stephanie told her the story. Lula calmed down and had to laugh about it herself.
"Can you imagine all the things this bird has seen? All the different johns that have been there?" Stephanie wondered aloud.
Moments later, they heard the locks tumble, the door opened, and Morelli came in carrying pizza and beer. "Hey Cupcake, I thought we'd watch the game tonight."
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Joe."
Just another old joke that I thought would be fun to Plum it up!
