Title:
Number One Dad
Summary:
AU of 'Rascals', Picard was deaged but they couldn't find a way to undo it. Riker became his legal guardian & Captain of the Enterprise. Picard has to deal with having the mind of an adult but the emotional temperament of a child. WARNING: Yaoi, Spanking, Bedwetting, Diapers
Edit:
I fixed a mistake I made when I called Terra Prime "Earth" which broke my own canon (oops) and changed Wesley into a 12 year old to reinforce Picard is now on Equal terms with the boy. I also rewrote a bit of to give Riker greater character development and depth.
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Chapter One
"Captain's Log: My first log as the official Captain of the Enterprise. The celebration the crew threw for me was needlessly long and resulted in far to many hangovers, that's how you can tell it was a good party. My father had somehow found out about it and invited himself, but I can't really blame him as he seemed overly eager to meet his new grandson. The Federation allowed me to adopt Jean-Luc instead of sending him back to Terra to pick grapes for his brother. Although it is not really necessary I have enrolled him at school here on the Enterprise to help him adjust to... his new situation. Ensign Ro and Keiko O'Brien left the Enterprise. Keiko went back to live with her parents as Mister O'Brien found he could not adjust and she invited Ro to live with them. Guinan is still onboard, now living with Doctor Crusher. There was... another incident involving Wesley Crusher. When the boy heard about what the transporter malfunction did he tried to replicate it for... Wesley-ish reasons. Well... it worked. The boy successfully regressed his body to 12 years of age, and now the Federation is doing further research into the area. Wesley was given an award by Starfleet and a spanking from his mother. My only guess would be the Federation believes that Wesley's formula for isolating and removing specific makers during transport will give them some kind of chance at immortality. I personally don't see how turning yourself into a kid could be such a better option then dying seeing how puberty was bad enough the first time around"
"THAT'S NOT FUNNY NUMBER ONE!" A boy of about 12 glared over at the bearded man.
"Jean-Luc you know better then to interrupt a captain's log" Riker put on his best 'stern' face dispite actually being amused before realizing the log was still recording "But don't worry it seems I've captured your whining for prosperity, End Log"
Jean-Luc looked absolutely mortified before getting up and taking himself back to his room with as much dignity as his little body could muster.
There was an incident with the transporter about three months ago and Captain Picard, Ensign Ro, Guinan, and Keiko O'Brien were all regressed in age. They still had all their adult memories but their bodies were closer to twelve now. They would age normally again from this point forward so they weren't really 'trapped' in the bodies of children but until they were 16 the Federation ruled that they should legally be treated like children. After some months of research they still hadn't found a way to reverse it. That was actually why Riker was bring all this up again in his log.
With Jean Luc out of the room he said what he was really thinking "Captain's Log Supplemental: The reason I brought up all that in my last log was because Starfleet has officially stopped all research into restoring their bodies to adulthood. A great deal of their mass has been lost and there is no way of recovering it. All the hypothetical ways of using raw matter from the replicator and using that combined with the transporter logs of their adult selves was deemed too dangerous to test on live subjects. The holodeck simulations showed there was over a 70 percent chance that procedure would kill them. In the end Starfleet decided it was better to leave them as they are. I... I will admit when I agreed to look after Jean Luc I did so because I assumed it was temporary. His emotional state was degrading as a result of his brain chemistry being regressed and he needed someone to look out for his best interests. Although his adult mind is intact biology eventually won out and he began acting more like the kid he looks like, often without realizing it... He's started having frequent nightmares about his time as a Bord Drone and has even developed a... a bit of a bedwetting problem as a result. I got to say that has made it easier to think of him as 'Jean Luc' instead of 'Captain Picard' but... Deanna has been telling me for weeks this was going to happen, that we would have to accept what has happened to our friends. I even thought I had. I enrolled him in school for god's sake for no other reason then so he could interact with other children and better adjust. Of course their learning multiplication as he uses the computers to get another degree but... I've been calling him 'Jean Luc' as Deanna advised as she said it was better for the captain's, former captain's, integration to treat him like a child. I guess I just thought we'd be able to fix this somehow but... I agreed to do this. I might have thought this was temporary at the time but even though the situation has changed I will not break my word. I owe this to my friend to continue looking after him in this state... there really is no beating around it anymore... Captain Picard, my friend, the man I came to respect and even idolize, is gone... I will do my best to look after Jean Luc in his memory"
Jean-Luc sat on his bed reading one of his novels... or a digital copy of it at least. Riker had put all his real books in storage back on Terra Prime on account of the weight limit. The man used the weight Picard's book collection took up on a large supply of toys instead, insisting the boy play with them... which he occasionally did when no one was looking. Still he had digital copies of all his books on a data pad, as well as many new files Riker gave him but it wasn't the same as holding a book. It would due considering how hard Riker was trying to make him feel comfortable.
Going back to school wasn't exactly what he had expected, given he had to sit in a colorful room with the alphabet printed on the wall along side zoo animals, but he was enjoying the stimulation of working on another degree. Besides all he really did was sit there at his computer during 'class time' and only had to interact with the other students during their explorations into the arts (painting, music, what have you), 'story time', and lunch. Jean Luc was actually rather popular at school as the children still called him 'Captain' but he had yet to make any real friends. They maintained their hero worship and kept themselves at a distance, which honestly Jean-Luc didn't mind. The only children he really hung out with was Wesley and Guinan, who were annoyingly thrilled with the situation (or rather were trying to make the best of it). Jean Luc still remained an authority figure with the boy despite both of them being civilians and children... and even the same age, although biologically Jean Luc was a few months older.
"Jean-Luc" Riker peeked his head into the boy's room "I need to go do Captain-y things but I promise we'll play in the Holodeck afterwards"
"You shouldn't make promises like that number one" Jean Luc frowned "The life of a captain is too unpredictable to promise anything to a child"
Riker smiled "I'll keep that in mind. How bout this? I'll try my best to make it to the Holodeck. I found a children's program I think you might like based on a 20th century videogame" Jean Luc groaned "You'll like it, trust me on this. Until then why don't you walk around the ship. You shouldn't stay in here all day, maybe Wesley's working on something fun you can help him with?"
"I was hoping to catch up on my reading" He held up the data pad.
"You've been reading for three months. I'm pretty sure you're caught up. You need to go out and enjoy being a kid. You know how many people would kill for a chance to re-live their childhood" accept for that bit. Riker was always trying to get him to do childish things like play with toys.
"Number One I really don't think-"
"Jean Luc UP!" Riker gave an actually stern look
The boy studied him for a moment and sighed seeing the man wasn't going to let this go. Setting his pad down, knowing he wouldn't be allowed to take it when he was supposed to 'socialize', Jean Luc stood up and walked out of his room before following his 'dad' out of their quarters "What am I supposed to do?" the boy asked
"Go to the petting zoo, the community center, the playground. We've got lots of areas set up all over the ship to keep children entertained"
Jean Luc groaned but did as he was told. He was trying to make the best of this situation but he just wasn't interested in doing any of those things. He just felt silly making a fool out of himself that way and the children would stare at him oddly, which didn't help, whenever he tried to do those kinds of things. Deanna told him they would get used to it the more he interacted with them but...
"Computer" Jean Luc pressed the control screen on the wall "Where is Guinan?"
"Guinan is in 'The Playground'," the computer answered and the boy groaned not wanting to go there
"How about Wesley Crusher?"
"Wesley Crusher is in 'The Playground',"
Jean Luc sighed accepting his fate and heading to the playground. When he got there he frowned seeing Wesley and Guinan laughing on the swings. Some of the older teenagers were 'hanging out' by the monkey bars just talking well a few of them hung upside down. There really was nothing for older children to do on this ship, Jean Luc realized, expect play in the Holodeck which was a good way to create a generation of Holo addicts. Jean Luc imagined what this ship really needed was a sports area to play European football and basketball. The Holodecks were too small for a large number of children to be in at once in order to play a game. They would keep bumping into the wall as the force fields and hologram projectors just couldn't compensate. What they really needed was a holosuit, something big enough to actually hold a small sports area. Of course something like that couldn't just be converted it would have to be a part of the original ship's design. There were other areas to play sports but none of them were for more then four people and there were currently a dozen teenagers sitting around doing nothing in the playground.
"Jean Luc" Wesley smiled jumping off the swing and running over with Guinan hot on his heels... only skipping. Beverly had scolded her son on numerous occasions about calling Jean Luc 'Captain' since he wasn't the captain anymore. Jean Luc was still getting used to the boy speaking with him in such an informal manner. They were equals now, a strange concept indeed considering the boy had been his protege, and it was not Wesley's advancement that did it but Jean Luc's demotion.
"Mister Crusher" Jean Luc nodded "Guinan... Wesley when you were a teenager what did you do for fun?" he asked out of curiosity.
"Not much, after I became an Ensign I was allowed in Ten Forward but I was usually busy studying and working in the ship"
"What about before you became an Ensign?"
"I just worked on my Science Projects to pass the time or played in the Holodeck. They don't really have anything for teenagers to do onboard, I even had to pick up my own holo novels at a starbase, everything is focused on little kids or adults here. They only have two art studios, one focused on finger painting and the other on... naked ladies. The Playground is completely for little kids. They don't even allow hover boards on the ship much less have a skate park for them. They had a really cool set up for hover boards on one of the situations my mom was posted at but they don't put things like that on Starships. The community center here is about the only place you can go but even then it's covered in stickers of the Alphabet and zoo animals and looks like an overgrown classroom so it's not really meant to be a hang out for teenagers. They don't even have a juice bar you can hang out at or a teen club"
"Teen club?" Jean Luc thought on that. It might actually be something Riker could install. He just had to clear out a storage area and refit it into a juice bar for older children to enjoy. They could have a dancing area and some games... maybe a little area of 'hover boards' "Come on, we need to write out a proposal"
"Proposal?" Wesley blinked
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Jean Luc was standing in front of the door to Holodeck three with the data pad in his hand waiting for Will. He smiled seeing the man turn the corner perfectly on time.
"Number One, I had an idea for a new recreation area" Jean Luc informed carrying himself with as much dignity as his small form could hold.
"Oh?" Riker smiled
"My proposal" Jean Luc handed over the pad
"How about I read it tonight? I need to get back on duty in an hour"
Jean Luc deflated "I worked hard on that and you're not even going to read it?"
Riker sighed seeing the kid side of Jean Luc shining out "I said I would just not right now, besides weren't you supposed to be playing and making new friends"
"There's nothing to do!" Jean Luc whined "That's what my proposal is about. I talked to some of the older kids and they agree we need a rec center focused on them so I got them to give me some ideas of what they would like in it"
"Weren't you the one saying you shouldn't make promises you can't keep?" Riker rubbed his forehead "What if I don't approve this?"
"Come now number one there's no reason you shouldn't" Jean Luc smiled smugly
"That's not for you to decide" Riker glared
"Since when do you ignore my council?"
"I'm not ignoring it. I said I'd consider it but it's up to me if I go through with it or not. You can't just promise the kids a new rec center if you haven't even discussed it with me!"
"Fine don't build the center! Don't even look at it" He snatched the pad out of the man's hand and throw it down the hall. It bounced a bit when it hit the ground but thankfully didn't break.
The next thing Jean Luc knew he was being lifted up and tucked under Rikers left arm.
"Number One? I didn't mean-" Jean Luc's eyes nearly popped out of his skull as Riker's hand harshly smacked his backside "W-Will!?" the boy gasped. Was Riker? He couldn't be. He just couldn't! Jean Luc yelped as the hand smacked him again. He WAS! He was actually SPANKING HIM! "Will! OWwww! Stop! I'm- EEK! Not- GASP, Not a child!" Jean Luc squirmed and kicked but was kept firmly in place.
"Yes (SMACK) you (SMACK) are! (SMACK)" Riker insisted "An adult would not have thrown the tantrum you just did!" the hand kept hitting over and over again and Jean Luc could feel his eyes prick with tears
"I'M SORRY!" Jean Luc declared as loud as he could
Riker gave one last smack before putting the boy on his feet. He straightened the boy up and made sure he was okay before he began lecturing "Jean Luc, I am not your subordinate anymore. I'm your legal guardian and that means you need to treat me with respect. If you have an idea I'd like to hear it because I know how clever you are but in the end you have to realize that I'm in charge. If I say 'no' it means no but if I say I'll look at something later that isn't in itself a 'no'. I'm busy right now and wanted to do something both of us can enjoy well I had the time. I couldn't very well do that if I sat down and read your proposal right now so I was going to read it well looking over other proposals from the crew, something YOU would have done in the past"
Jean Luc reluctantly nodded, his hands embarrassingly rubbing his stinging rear.
"Now go bring me the report and I'll look it over when I can" said Riker
Jean Luc slowly walked over to where he'd thrown the pad. His face heated up as he just now realized how childish that was. His face burned in shame of not only his own actions but what happened to him as a result. He picked up the pad and brought it back to the man, refusing to meet his eye.
"Alright now how about we check out the program I got for you?"
"C-can I just go back to my room?" Jean Luc asked looking at his shoes.
"Do you really want to waste the rest of the day sulking?" Not getting a reply Riker sighed "Maybe we should talk to Dianna"
Jean Luc could only groan and the next thing he knew he was sitting on Dianna's couch next to Riker.
"Jean Luc, spankings are a common punishment used by many parental figures. You have nothing to be ashamed of"
He just nodded feeling horrifically embarrassed and knew the empathic councillor was picking right up on that.
"However..." Jean Luc looked up as she trailed off "Will did you ever actually warn Jean Luc that you believed in spanking? I don't recall it being in that contract I asked you two to write up going over the rules and expectations you two had for each other"
Will blushed a bit "I... never really thought about it. I didn't think I would have to punish him that way... obviously I was wrong"
"Perhaps" Dianna nodded "But you can imagine the shock it would be for Jean Luc to suddenly get a spanking when he had no idea that was an option. It's likely the reason he needed space afterwards. All children react differently to spankings, even if they do know they can get one. Some like to be held and crave comfort and affection afterwards where others need time to themselves to gather their thoughts privately. Both are perfectly normal reactions. What's important for you to do is cater to the child's unique form of after care and most importantly make sure the child understands that they are both forgiven and loved. Jean Luc appears to feel neither at the moment"
Will looked worried at that and Jean Luc shifted uncomfortably. He knew Riker cared for him, the man wouldn't have taken him in if he hadn't, but love? Obviously Dianna was talking about the type of love between a parent and child but even then it was jumping the gun a bit. Even if Riker did say he loved him like a son Jean Luc wouldn't be able to reciprocate. He still thought of Riker as one of his closest friends... but love?
Dianna sighed sensing how uncomfortable she made both of them. Things were still too awkward to express such emotions "Let's go back to the holodeck. Will, maybe you could explain why the holodeck visit was so important to you"
'That wasn't actually a request' Riker thought "I figured it was something we could do together and maybe help Jean Luc realize being a kid wasn't so bad"
Jean Luc grumbled "And obviously spanking me for not wanting to do what you wanted was the perfect way to express that"
Unfortunately Riker seemed to hear him "You know full well that wasn't why I spanked you"
Jean Luc sighed "I'm sorry I acted inappropriately number one, that wasn't what I wanted to do, but your behavior wasn't the best either"
"Really" Riker crossed his arms
"I showed you something I was actually interested in and you immediately brushed me off. The proposal was under 3000 words. We could have easily talked it over in ten minutes and had plenty of time to do what you wanted regardless what your answer was. Instead you ignored me then ran off to Dianna when I didn't react like you wanted. I, at least, was trying to be considerate of you"
Dianna nodded looking at Riker expectantly for a few moments but seeing how he was remaining silent she spoke "Will, in this situation, you were both wrong. I understand that you were eager to do something with your new son but children often throw a wrench into a parent's plans for a perfect day, doesn't mean you can't both turn it into something to enjoy. Now Jean Luc, maybe there was a little more to this proposal?"
"What do you mean?" the boy blinked
"Why did it suddenly occur to you today? Surely you most have noticed the lack of things to do for older children before this"
"Well yes..."
"But you chose today to bring it up to Riker? During his first day as captain"
"It wasn't intentional" Jean Luc blushed "I just thought of it and asked around. Besides he been captain for months now"
"Acting captain yes but today was his first day as the official captain. Can you see how promising kids a new rec center could be seen as undermining his authority?"
Jean Luc shifted uncomfortably "I... I didn't mean it to I just wanted to be able to relax somewhere without feeling like an infant and I thought the older kids would agree with me. It wouldn't have made sense to request the facility if the others didn't want it..." Jean Luc looked over at Riker with a mournful expression "s-so I guess you have to decline the proposal no matter what to save face"
The new captain sighed "Not necessarily. We can still talk about it and... how many kids have you talked to?"
"Just the ones in the playground"
Riker nodded handing the pad to Jean Luc "Talk to the others. Tell them the caption is thinking about setting up some new hang outs for teenagers and your collecting the data"
"R-really?" Jean Luc looked hopeful
"I'll look it over with the other proposals and use that to decide just what to build but DON'T throw another tantrum if I don't get to it tonight. The request by the crew take priority"
"Thank you Number One!"
Jean Luc spent the rest of the day marching checking out all the stops and talking to as many teenagers as possible. He made sure to say he was working FOR the Captain so the kids wouldn't think he was trying to undermine him. He wrote down the children's ideas and suggestions and neatly incorporated them into his own (of course giving credit to where it was due) before gleefully delivering it to the Captain's office. Since Riker wasn't in there the boy left the data pad on his desk. Despite what Riker said about reading it last Jean Luc was really looking forward to him reading it and put the proposal at the very top of the stack in the Captain's office before going back to his room.
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A/N:
This fic is a prequel to my story "A New Frontier", a Mass Effect / Star Trek crossover where three hundred years later Captain Data makes first contact with the Citedal Council. Although "Number One Dad" is not a crossover it is part of my crossover universe. If you're interested please read "Paradox Unleashed Chapter Zero" to get a better idea of the universe as a whole.
