Disclaimer: not mine.

Moments

James lay on his bed with Lily lying on her front between his legs, her head resting on his stomach. Her hands traced patterns on his arm while he ran his other hand through her hair. He was content just to watch her. He had no idea how long they had been laying like that. They occasionally made quiet comments, but they weren't necessarily keeping up a constant conversation.

It was afternoons like these that he adored. She turned her head so she could see him and sat up on her knees. There was a slight frown on her face that he found rather endearing.

"Kiss." She demanded. He chuckled and sat up too so that their eyes were now even. He gently took her face in between his hands as if she were made of glass. He looked into her eyes affectionately for a moment before pressing his lips to hers. It wasn't long and passionate and fiery, just simple. Lily seemed content so he lay back down and Lily resumed her position and continued tracing patterns on his arm.

***

I was standing in the fourth floor corridor chatting with Alice who was holding hands with Frank. I used to be so jealous of their relationship. They always seemed to be in complete awe of each other. I wasn't jealous anymore. It would be silly to be jealous of something that you have.

I was waiting for James. His lesson had been just down the hall from mine. We always met here before heading down to lunch.

I felt his arms wrap around my waist from behind me as I was drawn into his warm body. I didn't have to look to know it was James. Alice used to sarcastically say, "Three guesses who's behind you and if none of them have to do with James or Potter, you're a moron."

I turned in his arms and ruffled his hair before leaning in for a chaste kiss. James was a bit impatient with the chaste part though. He pulled me really close and gave me another kiss that must have lasted for a good seven minutes, or maybe only seven seconds. I don't know. I wasn't counting.

I pulled away and pretended to be mad and said his name in my best indignant voice reserved specially for him. He only laughed and grabbed my hand kissing my palm before folding our hands together and pulling me down the corridor after Frank and Alice.

***

We sat across from each other at breakfast. Our fingers were loosely entwined across the table. Lily was reading a book. I knew it was Pride and Prejudice. She had read it a thousand times over and she still adored it.

She would tell me that I was her own personal Mr. Darcy. I had read the book for her since she loved it so much. After I finished she jumped around all excited saying wasn't I like her Mr. Darcy?? I just smiled and said "Of course Love, if only I were as rich."

Then she smacked me and pretended to sulk so I kissed her to make it better. Sirius would be ashamed if he knew.

I was lost in my own world full of Lily when I felt more pressure being applied to my hand. I looked up and was greeted by Lily's eyes. I noticed she had closed her book and was smiling at me inquisitively.

"You there James?" she questioned.

I smiled back at her. "Always."

I'm proud to say she blushed.

***

He was doing it again. It drove me nuts. I know he can't help it, but it makes me blush every damn time. It's the usual Wednesday morning and James and I are walking to breakfast holding hands as always (he goes nuts if doesn't have some form of physical contact with me, not that I mind) and he's looking at me.

I've tried complaining to Alice about when he looks at me like that, but she just makes fun of me, "Oh no Lily how can you stand it!?!?! Your boyfriend … actually … looks at you????"

She doesn't get it though. He's not just looking at me, he's looking at me like he sees the entire world and more in me; like he's in love. Once again, not something I mind it just feels awkward when he looks at me like that when people are around. It's just one of those looks meant for private. People must feel like puking when they see him staring at me like that.

Being the blunt person I am, I can't just keep this to myself. I'm trying to think of tactful ways to point it out, but I settle for blurting, "You're doing it again!"

"Doing what?"

"Giving me that look!"

"What the bloody hell are you on about?"

"That in love look you always give me!"

"…Would you rather I look at you indifferently?" That stupid bloke is teasing me! He's got that mischievous look in his eye now.

"James would you stop it!"

He looks at me exasperated. I don't like that look much either so I glare and turn my face away. I feel disappointed until I realized he's stopped walking. Then I just roll my eyes. That's his new tactic to make me look at him. It works too as is shown when I turn around and look at him. His eyes soften. He walks back up to me, guides me to an empty corridor and takes my face in his hands.

I hate when he does that too. I'm done for once he holds my face in his hands. He knows it too. Stupid bloke. He held my face in his hands the first time he got me to stop being stupid and just say yes to going out with him, the first time he kissed me, the first time he told me he loved me… you would be a sucker for it too!

He gives me that look, but now its just us and it doesn't bother me because I know I'm looking at him like that too. He smiles and kisses my forehead. I close my eyes for a moment. When I open my eyes again he's still giving me that look.

"I love you." I say it before he does.

He laughs and tells me that I'm off my rocker, but he loves me too.

***

"JAMES POTTER!" I was infuriated. That stupid prat decided it would be fun to steal all of my textbooks and force me into a study free day. Ridiculous! Is he aware that exams are in a few months?!

"JAMES, GET YOUR ARSE OUT HERE!" James timidly peered around his door, a slightly fearful look on his face.

"Did you call me, Darling?" he gave me a wide-eyed innocent expression. I snorted, like he didn't know what this was about.

I intensified my death glare and in my iciest tone said, "Give me back my books."

"Well…I can't do that." He seemed to shrink before he even got the words out. The moron knew I wouldn't respond well to that. And he was unbelievably right.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T DO THAT?! YOU SURE AS BLOODY HELL CAN! NOW WHERE ARE THEY?!"

James boldly walked towards me with his arms outstretched, ready to take me in his arms like he did whenever he did something stupid in attempt to make me a little less pissed off at him. That would not work today. I took a step backwards, a step away from him, and his expression looked surprised for a moment before a hurt look flashed across his face.

Ugh. I hate that look. It makes me feel terrible. For some unfortunate reason I love the stupid boy and him getting hurt is something I avoid. I sigh and drop my glare before walking over to him. His expression lightens instantly and he eagerly puts his arms around my waist. Maybe I should try a different tactic…

I smirk for a moment - I can't help it - before slowly running my hands up his chest and down his arms. I repeat the pattern a few times all the while gradually bringing my face up to meet his. The look that's come over his face is vaguely reminiscent of someone who's on stupid pills. He's gone all slack-jawed and his eyes look nearly ready to pop out of his head. I would laugh if I wasn't so intent on my purpose.

A hairbreadth away from his lips, I stopped my advance and whisper in what I hope was a seductive voice, "James, where did you hide my textbooks?"

"I…can't…tell you." His resolve was weakening. I suppose it was hardly fair of me to do this, but I did it anyways. I ran my hands back down his chest and let them slip under his untucked shirt, letting them wander leisurely over his abs. He loves when I do that.

"James…" I breathe the words quietly against his jaw letting a little condescension slip into my voice.

He swallows hard and says, "No?" but now the words are a question. I'm winning.

I press light kisses onto his jaw and down to the base of his throat. "Baby, if you give me my textbooks now I can study during the afternoon and you can have all night with me. Think of all the things we could do when we have all…night…long…"

His breathing has become much shallower and he finally gives in, "Under Sirius' bed." Wow. How creative. Please note the sarcasm.

To finalize his punishment I instantly turned away from the boy and chirped, "Thanks Love!" I didn't give him so much as a peck on the lips. It was mean admittedly, but I was still pissed that he stole my books. Git.

***

I saw the telltale flash of red coming out of the library. I ran up to her and took her hand in mine. Her curious green eyes looked up at me and then a smile spread slowly across her face as she realized it was me. You'd think I would stop being surprised when she looks at me like that. It's only been six months. I internally rolled my eyes at myself.

"Well hello my lovely Flower how are you this fine evening?" She laughed lightly and looked at me like she would a particularly amusing toddler.

"Well my charming Jamesie I am just peachy I thank you for inquiring! Now you must tell me, how are you?"

I looked at her in mock suspicion and accusingly asked, "Are you mocking me?!"

She went along with it and arranged her features into a scandalized expression, "Never! Why would I possibly do such a thing?! I only wish to know how you are my Love I could never mock you!"

"In which case, I must steal your word for I am positively peachy as well!" She giggled softly again. My attention was drawn to her mouth, or more specifically her lips. Lily had very nice lips. They were full, but they didn't take over her entire face. Not to mention how soft they are… I let my gaze return to her eyes. "Lils, when's the last time I kissed you?"

I dimly noticed that she was blushing; I don't pretend to understand why. "Just after lunch I think. Why?"

I stopped walking in the middle of the corridor and gently pulled her to me, feeling her supple waist underneath my hands. I leaned down and softly pressed my lips to hers.

***

Impatience is a fascinating thing. Fascinating, but also incredibly annoying. I paced in front of the entrance to the Heads common room waiting for James to get back. He was hanging out with the other Marauders doing Merlin knows what and I can't honestly say I want to know.

I'm not entirely sure of what happened, but about an hour ago I really started wanting him. It isn't like I've never missed him before, I miss him whenever he's not with me, but this was something else. I blame Alice.

We were having some girl time and we were chatting about Frank and James, giggling like the teenage girls we are about different physical aspects of their bodies…different physical aspects of our relationships…and BAM! Just like that I wanted him. Really, really wanted him.

Alice experienced the same feeling. Lucky bitch has probably been snogging Frank senseless for the past hour. I violently pulled off my tie and threw it at a nearby table in irritation before checking the clock above the fireplace. Again. 11:26. What the bloody hell could they have been talking about for the past six and half hours?! I paced a bit longer trying to think of things besides James when the portrait hole finally opened and James walked in the room.

I registered that he looked surprised to see me. I registered that he had started to say something. And I registered that with no conscious decision to; I had just mauled the poor guy. He had barely made it into the room before I ran at him and pulled his face to mine. The force of my attack had made James stumble backwards a few feet. I kept pushing James until his back was against the wall, my lips never leaving his.

To my great dissatisfaction James pulled his face from mine and panted, "What is all this about?" He didn't seem unhappy, just immensely confused.

I responded with only three words, "I need you." His eyes widened. I had never stated my physical want for him so bluntly before. For three little words they had a lot of implications behind them.

In a moment James had pressed his mouth against mine and I responded immediately, pressing myself as tightly as I could to his body. I pulled off his tie and undid the buttons on his shirt. His lips moved down to devour my neck. As soon as the shirt was off him my hands were covering every inch of the exposed skin. I moved back from the wall and guided James over to the couch pushing him slightly so he was sitting down and I was standing in front of him with his hands still resting on my hips.

An amused and devilish look was dancing in his eyes. I took a moment to just look at him and then slowly started unbuttoning my shirt. My shirt fell to the floor and he stared at me with the most mesmerized looking expression that I could almost taste the crimson pouring into my cheeks. I rested my hands on his shoulders and slowly climbed on top of him so I was straddling him and let my lips wander back to his. This time our pace was slower.

James had recently become brilliant and getting my bra off so I barely noticed when he unhooked the back. His hands moved to the front of my body, bringing my bra with them and tossing it onto the floor. His hands moved up to my breasts, gently feeling and massaging and damn did it feel good.

After a few more minutes he pulled away. His hands wrapping back around my waist and pressed one more light kiss to my mouth. "Lily Evans, you will be the downfall of my self control."

"I certainly hope so. Why did you stop?" I wasn't ready to stop. It was time to push a few more boundaries.

James sighed heavily. "If I don't stop now, chances are I might now be able to later…"

I frowned, "What if I don't want you to stop?"

He chuckled, "Eventually Love, we won't stop. As for tonight…" he left the sentence hanging

"Fine." I agreed a little bit whiney. "You're not putting your shirt back on though!" I climbed off of him and ordered him to lie down. He complied, looking amused again. I got back on the couch and stretched out beside him and wrapped my arms tightly around him so our naked chests were pressed tightly together.

James groaned and said softly, "You feel so amazing when you're so close to me like this."

"I really hope this is weakening your self control." I had to admit I was vaguely enthralled by the feel of being so close to him without any barriers also.

"Well your hopes are definitely getting closer to fulfillment."

***

I automatically looked back to the back of the room when I heard the door open. I glanced for a moment, looked away, and then did a double take. James was standing in the doorway. He looked desperate and panic stricken and as if he was just barely holding back tears.

In half a second I had stood up absently muttered, "Excuse me, Professor" and hurried towards James. I quickly pulled him into the hallway and closed the door behind me. As soon as I had turned around my arms were open and he had roughly wrapped his arms around me. He was clinging to me tightly and I was holding him just as tight, if not tighter. His sobs broke loose and his entire body shook with them and my arms automatically tightened protectively around him.

My James was broken. I had never seen him break like this before; I was terrified of what could possibly make my James loose it like this. I didn't question him. I just held him to me and let his tears soak through my robes.

I gently pulled him to the first empty room I could find, which happened to be an unused classroom. I may not know what happened, but I doubt James wanted to be seen in this state. I held him and rocked him tenderly from side to side. This seemed to calm him down. The bell signaling the end of class rang and we both ignored it. Alice would get my things for me.

I'm not sure how long it was, but James eventually stopped crying. He just held on to me tightly. This was worse. He was in agony and there was nothing I could do. His grip loosened and he released me and tried to move away. I didn't let him get very far. I kept my arms around him.

"I'm sorry about that. You must think I'm insane." Of all the things he was apologizing.

"You have nothing to apologize for. You needed me; I'm incapable of just leaving you be when you're in need."

"You missed your class." His voice was dull and inflectionless. It scared the crap out of me.

"My list of priorities has changed quite a bit this year. Somewhere along the line you became a thousand times more important to me than school." His eyes closed. "You're broken." It was a statement. "James…what happened? I need to know whose arse I'm kicking."

His eyes flew open and fear flashed through them. His voice was desperate, "Lily, please don't try and kick this person's arse. I can't lose you too." He looked terrified and his arms had tightened around me again.

My eyes widened at his reaction, "I promise, James. No arse kicking here." He breathed a sigh of relief and buried his face in my neck.

"They're dead. My parents. Voldemort murdered them." I guessed it was something like that. It had to be terrible or James wouldn't have reacted like this. I held him tighter to me. "Lily, I need to know something." His voice came out strangled.

"Of course, anything." If it meant less pain for him I would tell him anything. Hell I would try to get the moon for him if it would make him feel better.

"What is this to you? Us I mean. You've become my everything; I can't picture not being with you. I never want to have to be without you, but I don't know if it's the same to you. Are we just temporary to you or…?"

I was surprised to say the least; I couldn't believe he didn't know how I felt, that he could possibly have any insecurities about us. "No, you are far from temporary to me James. You're eternity. All those years of me scoffing at you for saying we're soul mates…" I laughed humorlessly. "You're the one James. You are my one. I am never going to let you go so I truly hope you don't mind being stuck with me."

After I told him this he seemed to relax quite a bit. When I was sure the other students would be preoccupied with class I took James back up to his room. Our things were in the common room. I'd have to thank Alice later.

I settled James in his bed and stayed with him. How could I leave him alone when his parents just died? James soon fell asleep, lying in my arms.

***

The end of the year was nearing. I had more or less come back to my normal self after my parents' deaths. The first week was the worst, but after that things had nothing to do but get better. Mostly due to Lily, her very presence seemed to help fix me.

We were lying on my bed again. I was on my back with Lily lying on her front between my legs. Her chin rested on her hands that were folded on my stomach. She smiled lazily.

My mother's ring glinted on her finger. Not an engagement ring, just a ring. Just so she had something to look down at and remind her of me. She claimed that was hardly necessary because I already occupied her mind enough without reminders, but I still wanted her to have it.

Her hands drifted to my sides and she rested her cheek on the place her hands had just vacated. I ran my fingers through the red strands and a contented smile shaped her lips. This time last year I never would have imagined myself where I am now. I gotta say though, where I am now is a damn good place to be.

Hola,

Well this took a while to write. I had put it aside for a while but recently inspiration has overtaken me and this is the product. I hope you liked it. The tenses are a bit screwed up because I kept changing my mind of what tense I wanted to write it in and am too lazy to go back and edit. Thanks for reading!

--Jenn