Emily

I knew it was going to happen. I knew one day I'd break my promise to all of the people who meant most to me. I just didn't know it'd happen so sudden, and to add to that, painlessly.
It's been 6 months since my best friend Effy ran away with some drunk who called himself "The Cookie Monster". I remember the day like it was yesterday. She introduced me to him, we smoked a few spliffs, and before I knew it I was just so high up in the clouds that everything was a blur. I suppose it was probably more than just the typical joint, but years of experiencing life as Effy's best friend had me covered. It wouldn't be the first time she slipped me a "little bit more" just for comfort. When I woke up in her queen size bed, I had been tucked in with a sticky note on my forehead that read in that oh so familiar handwriting, "left with the cookie monster, going to see things. don't look for me, ill be back. -F" of course, her name started with an E but I understood the F she signed off with, considering her nickname was "Eff" from the time we were 5. Ill never forget that day. It was the hardest day of my life having to tell my best friends mother, the woman who had been there when my own mother was having her own mental breakdowns, that her baby was just...gone. It was the end of November when the only person keeping me sane left me. My best friend. My only friend. This was the typical thing I'd expect from her. Running away with some strange man. Although, they usually are a bit older, and quite a bit harrier. But never for this long. The "I'll be back" in her so sincere goodbye note to me hasn't been very promising, though, because it's been 6 months, and life without my best friend is painful. I've been struggling a lot more these past couple months than when she first left, and it scares the piss out of me. I was diagnosed with depression last May, and everyone was there for me throughout my sudden breakdowns. I've been off my medication for 7 months, and my family is just now starting to believe that I'm getting better, but it just makes it harder. Harder to fake a smile, and act like under this shirt I don't have tons of red slits. And I guess that's why I did what I did. I guess that's why I took apart my never before used purple razor, put on my nicest dress, and slashed both of my fucking wrists just in the right spot.
Naomi
When they say your entire life flashes before your eyes right before you die, it's true. Now let me just say that I'm not the typical person you would guess that would try to end my life. When I say not the typical person, I mean a girl you always see smiling and laughing. A girl that when you look at her, you think, "wow, I wish I could be that happy." Now a days, though, I've noticed, it usually is that girl that you hear about on the news. Her brutal death by suicide the papers never forget to describe word by word. Well, that girl would have been me, if I had succeeded in what at first seemed like to be the worst day of my life.
I remember waking up to a text from my best friend, Cook.
"Miss me yet, blondie?
Im about to go pick up some food for my lady. I don't want to see
her mad again. I think I might
stay a tad bit longer than planned. Call me when you get the chance.
Stay fucking sexy, babe."
He ran away with another one of his 16 year olds to America a few months ago. He knew I was looking forward to his arrival later this week, and he knew I'd be pissed to hear the news of his plans to "stay longer". I love my best friend to death, but sometimes, it just fucking hurts to not have anyone to get messed up with here and there. Cooks been one of my many good friends that I met throughout grade school, the only difference is, he didn't abandon me when I decided to go to law school. He's a few years younger than me, only about 19 , but we've been friends ever since the day we met in (my) year 7 when his year 5 class was on a field trip and he stuck his hand up my dress when I was giving a tour. Those were the good days. Now, the things I'd have to do to even get him to come see me...
I hate thinking about him. I hate thinking about how I have no one to talk to on sad nights due to the time difference in America. I took out my phone and sent him a reply.
"You know I was looking forward
to Friday. How much later?"
I laid back down in my bed and waited for a reply. I guess I was left alone with my thoughts for too long, because I started to get really overwhelmed after a while and started to have what I like to call, a "Pre- fuck out". I have these spells where I just...flip out. Probably due to being severely manic depressive. Before those spells, there was always a point where I started getting really shaky, nervous, and sweaty. Like my body was trying to warn me of what was about to come. I picked up my phone to call someone, anyone, when I saw a message on my phone. It was from Cook.
"Maybe another few months or so.
Might even move down. So
many fine, willing ladies.
Maybe you should try it?
It's been a while. Don't freak
baby, you know the Cookie
Monster won't forget you.
No worries. I'll make it up to you."
I don't know if it was the fact that I knew he was lying to me, but it brought me on edge. I guess that's why I ended up grabbing my bottle of aspirin, and swallowing the whole damn thing.