She stood there among her comrades, feeling as if her entire world was caving in on her, crushing her dreams for a future without wars and destroying her very being. Her hair was drenched due to the rain that was falling ever so heavily. It was as if the heavens were weeping along with her, mourning the untimely death of her dear little brother...

Nawaki Senju was just a twelve year old boy and was an inexperienced genin. A little boy like him should not have been involving himself in the raging war between the great nations but he was always a rambunctious and eager child so he couldn't help but include himself in the bloodshed. Tsunade, his older sister thought that he was in the safety of the jounin ninjas in charge of keeping the civilians and children of the village safe in the secret underground hideouts, designed especially for war, but little did she know that her brother escaped and tried to help in whatever way he could in the war. On the battlefield, he spotted an enemy and decided to run after him to pursue him. But while he was running, he accidentally stepped on a hidden bomb in the ground and was blown to bits and pieces. Now he was a lifeless slab, barely recognizable due to his bloody appearance on an examining table in one of the medical huts.

Tsunade was at home when that unfortunate event occurred. She was getting ready to participate in the war with her teammates when she saw one of Jiraiya's messenger frogs appear at her bedroom window. Jiraiya was one of her childhood teammates as well as one of her closest friends. Together with Orochimaru, they made up the Three Legendary Sannin of the Leaf Village. She walked over to her window and opened it so that the frog could get out of the rain and deliver whatever message Jiraiya's sent for her. She thought that the message would just be another invitation to go out with him and if it was, she would reject it immediately and pound him into the ground when she saw him. Jiraiya has always liked Tsunade but she would always reject his advances. However, he kept trying because she was more than just a pretty face to him. She retrieved the scroll that was securely fastened on the frog's back and opened it to read its contents.

Tsunade,

You need to get down to the medical hut closest to the Academy. Something terrible happened to Nawaki.

-Jiraiya.

The moment she finished reading the short letter, she began to tremble out of fright. She didn't understand how something bad could happen to him when he was supposed to be safe in the hideaways. She ran to the door and quickly put on her shoes and ran out her house as quickly as she could. She didn't even care that the rain was pouring down on her and drenching her from head to he was seriously hurt then she could help him because she was the best medical ninja out there. She just hoped that she wasn't too late.


She was too late. Her brother was dead and there was nothing she could do about it. She wasn't crying because she would not allow herself to believe that he was actually gone. She was panting hard out of pure exhaustion from running there so fast but her tiredness did not stop her for moving off from her stationary position to begin to enter the room where her lifeless brother was lying. She wanted to see him, to touch him, just to be with him. Alive or dead, she didn't want him to be alone in that cold, dark room. A gentle hand rested upon her shoulder that stopped her in her tracks. She looked up to see Jiraiya with a solemn, sympathetic look on his face.

"No Tsunade, it's best if you don't look." He said softly,trying his best not to allow her to fall apart right then and there. He knew how hard it would be for her to accept the death of Nawaki. She loved him to death and did everything for him. After her parents died, she was the one who raised him so they shared an extremely close bond. But now he was gone and their bond was now non existent.

"What's the difference? She wouldn't even be able to recognize her little brother. The way the body is so-"

"Silence Orochimaru!" Jiraiya shouted at his teammate. Tsunade did not need to know the details of how disheveled the body was to make her feel worse about the entire situation. But Orochimaru was insensitive so he continued.

"This is what happens at war. People die and little children foolishly run out onto the battlefield,feeling as if they can actually defeat the enemy and end up getting themselves killed." Orochimaru said in his usual uncaring tone. He reached into his pocket and pulled out her inherited necklace with a crystal pendant that she gave to her brother on the day of his twelfth birthday, "What a pity, especially after receiving such a lovely gift." He held out the necklace so that the pendant could dangle before Tsunade's hazel eyes, glossy from tears refusing to fall.

Her heart skipped a beat after seeing the necklace. That confirmed for her that he was indeed dead and never coming back. She buried her face in her palms and dropped to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. Jiraiya immediately went to her aid and comforted her by placing one of his hands on her back and the other on her shoulder. His hands shook with each of her violent cries. He has never seen her cry like this before and it absolutely broke his heart to hear her screams and see her so distraught. If he could erase all her pain and sadness, he would. But this was the outcome of war and there was nothing he could do to change that.

Orochimaru approached his teammates who were on the ground and smirked at the sight, "How foolish can you two be?" He started and Jiraiya glared at him with utter disgust in his eyes, "Death is the inevitable in the Shinobi world. Learn to accept that and don't allow yourself to become crippled by it." He threw the necklace before his weeping teammate, allowing it to drop to the floor in front of her and left the building.

Jiraiya felt his anger rise and he rose to his feet to catch up to his fellow teammate. He stood in the rain and managed to get Orichimaru to stop walking away and listen to what he had to say, "Orochimaru how could you be so cold to her?! Her brother just died, she's hurting right now and you couldn't even offer any words of comfort to her! She's our comrade how could you?!" He said with fury spitting out of his voice.

Orochimaru laughed, "The sooner she comes to grips with it, the better off she will be." He said before turning his back to the white-haired man, "And you." He started, "You've always been in love with her but it would be in your best interest to stay away from her. Love is a ridiculous phenomenon in the ninja world and it will only get yourself killed. Because with love comes rejection and with rejection comes pain. Once you experience pain you become weak. Weaklings cannot survive in this world." He said before walking off, "Remember that."

Jiraiya watched as he walked away from him and disregarded everything he said. He turned back to the hut and saw Tsunade, still on the ground, crying her eyes out. She needed him now more than ever and he would not leave her. Even if he became a weakling, he would never stop loving her.

"Nawaki!" Tsunade screamed through tears while gripping her necklace tightly. Jiraiya came running to her side and enveloped her in a tight hug. He kept hugging her, feeling as if his warmth could erase her pain but it did nothing to help her. She pushed him away, "Get off of me!" She yelled and rose, wobbly to her feet, shaking like a leaf in the wind.

"I'm just trying to help you Tsunade." He said apologetically. He should have known not to hug her. A simple pat on the shoulder was all she would allow but he felt as if that was not effective at all and all he wanted to do was help her through this painful time.

"I don't need your help! I don't need anybody's help!" She yelled through tears.

Jiraiya got off of the floor and moved closer to her but she backed away from him, "Your brother just died, you're going to need somebody to help you get through this."

"No I don't! I'll be fine on my own." She said stubbornly.

"Everybody needs somebody. Even you."

"Just leave me alone!" She said as the tears ran down her cheeks like a waterfall. She ran into the rain and went home, leaving Jiraiya there, standing in the rain.


After his complete and utter rejection from Tsunade, Jiraiya went immediately over to the Hokage mansion to inform the third Hokage who was also his sensei of the tragedy that occurred just a few moments ago. Jiraiya would be lying if he said that he wasn't deeply hurt by yet another one of Tsunade's rejections but this time it was entirely different. He wasn't trying to make romantic advances on her, all he wanted to do was be there for her as a friend and she would not have it. He would not give up though. He would give her the time and space that she needed but if there was ever a day that she would come to him for comfort, he would be there for her, waiting with open arms, ready to receive her.

He knocked twice before he got the permission to enter the Hokage's office. Sarutobi was busy looking out the window, watching his village become drenched by the seemingly never ending rainfall. He turned around to see his student, soaked due to the rain but wore a solemn expression with a hint of hurt on his face.

"Jiraiya, I didn't expect to see you here." The old man said and Jiraiya stepped further into the room, "Is everything alright?"

Jiraiya looked at the ground and shook his head, silently telling his mentor that everything was not okay.

Hiruzen took a deep breath, dreading to hear the problem. As the Hokage it was dreadful to hear about the misfortunes of the people of his village but now they were in war so the news that he was expecting was the death of either a Shinobi or a civilian, "Tell me what happened then."

Jiraiya looked at his mentor with a straight face, "It's Tsunade-"

"Tsunade?! Please tell me that she's okay!" The third said, interrupting Jiraiya. If anything bad happened to his only female student he didn't know what he would do. She was like a daughter to him so he only wanted to protect her and ensure that she was okay. After all, he was indebted to her grand-uncle since he taught him everything he knows now.

"Tsunade's not doing so well but that's because her brother Nawaki passed away on the battlefield." Jiraiya explained.

Hiruzen rubbed his temples in frustration, "That poor boy, he should have stayed out of this war." He started, "And Tsunade, she must be distraught."

"She is. I have never seen her like this before."

"She's going to need somebody to help her get through this. This can't be easy for her since she loved that boy unconditionally and with all her heart." Hiruzen said and paused a moment to think about what he should do to help his student, "Jiraiya, you should try to-"

"I already did but she rejected me. She said that she doesn't need any help but I know that's a lie. Tsunade has too much pride to let her walls down and allow people to help her." Jiraiya said in frustration.

Hiruzen grumbled, clearly frustrated by this mess but then took a calming breath, realizing that there was nothing he could do but try to end this war quickly, "Then let her be."

"What?"

"You know Tsunade. She'll ask for help if she wants to. If she does, do your best to help her through this. But if she doesn't, leave the situation as it is. Understood?"

Jiraiya couldn't fathom the thought of leaving Tsunade to cope with the death of her younger brother all by herself. The pain she's going through must be tremendous and extremely heart wrenching. All Jiraiya wanted to do was help her but he knew that if he pushed her, he could end up losing her forever. He sighed unhappily and agreed to do as his sensei said, "Yes sir."

Hiruzen sensed that all was not well with Jiraiya. He knew that the toad sage always liked Tsunade and soon his feelings turned into love. To be rejected by her when he only wanted to help must have been devastating but to hear that he shouldn't try to do anything for her must really hurt. The old man walked over to his student and laid a gentle hand upon his shoulder, "Look Jiraiya, I know this must be hard for you but it's for the best."

"Yeah I know sensei. I'm fine, really." He lied. He was not at all fine. He was the exact opposite of fine.

"Okay." Hiruzen removed his hand from his student's shoulder, "I will visit Tsunade tomorrow, extend my condolences and discuss funeral plans with her."

Jiraiya looked up at his mentor with shock evident in his face, "Funeral plans? Don't you think it's a little too soon for that?"

He shook his head and began to explain his reason for an early funeral, "The faster it is done, the faster things will go back to being normal. We are at war and we need Tsunade out on the battlefield as soon as possible. So as soon as she recovers from this, the better it is for the village and our victory in the war."

He couldn't believe the words that were coming out of the Hokage's mouth. He was starting to sound just like Orochimaru and that only angered Jiraiya when he remembered how cold he was to Tsunade, "Don't you think that's a little bit insensitive? Sensei, her brother just died. A quick funeral won't help her to get over it!"

"I agree that it is quite insensitive and I hate to be doing this to Tsunade but I am also the Hokage and I must make decisions that will benefit the village. My predecessors entrusted the well being of the village to me and I can't let them down. Tsunade is one of our best Shinobi and we need her in this war. Do you understand?" Hiruzen explained. There was much sense in what he was saying and Jiraiya understood it all.

"I understand. You're making this decision as the Hokage but I'm sure that if you weren't the Hokage, you wouldn't do this, am I right?"

"Yes. Tsunade's happiness is very important to me." Hiruzen said with complete honesty. Nobody could deny the important place Tsunade had in the Hokage's life.

"Okay." Jiraiya said and left the room.

He made his way through the empty, wet streets of the village to his apartment. On his way home, he passed by Tsunade's apartment building and saw that no lights were on in her home. He just hoped that she was asleep in bed instead of sitting alone in the darkness, crying her eyes out. He took a deep breath and looked away to continue his journey home. Despite the fact that it was raining heavily, he walked in a slow, steady pace, as if it wasn't raining at all. He didn't care that he was getting soaked again, his mind was too set on Tsunade to think about anything else. He wished that Nawaki was still alive not only for Tsunade's sake but for his as well. He liked the boy very much and he was sure that the genin liked him as well. They used to eat ramen together and Jiraiya would help him with his shadow clone jutsu. He was even going to teach him the summoning jutsu. Nawaki was a rambunctious one, much like Jiraiya was at that age so he couldn't help but like him. It was indeed a pity that he was no longer alive and Jiraiya cursed the war for that.

He was finally home. He shed his wet clothes and dressed himself in a comfortable white t-shirt and dark blue sweat pants. He ran a dry cotton towel through his hair and went into his bed after. He laid awake for quite some time as his mind kept wandering over to Tsunade, wondering what she was doing and if she was okay. He concluded that he was not going to sleep at all that night and allowed himself to think about his grief-stricken teammate.


Tsunade opened her eyes to find herself standing in an open, grassy field. The grass was at a knee high length and with each movement she made, the tall blades of grass tickled the exposed parts of her legs and toes. Directly in front of her in the distance stood a large oak tree. The sun above, pelted her with it's strong rays so she walked the distance over to the tree to escape the wrath of the sun. She sat under the tree that provided her with comfortable shade and wondered how she came to be in this field. She knew for a fact that a field like this did not exist in the leaf village nor in any other village she visited. However, she was not panicked because she felt at peace sitting there in the grassy field, watching the grass sway in the wind, listening to the birds chirp happily in the branches above her and looking at the clouds float by above in the light blue sky. She felt completely relaxed, unlike how she felt upon hearing that her brother died. This field represented happiness unlike the Leaf Village that was war stricken and so depressing that even the sky wept along with her.

She allowed herself to doze off but as she just closed her eyes, she heard a crunching sound, as if somebody was walking on the dried leaves on the ground close by her. Her eyes shot open and she looked in the direction of the noise only to see a young boy, around twelve years old with spiky brown hair and rosy cheeks looking back at her with a wide smile plastered on his face.

"N-Nawaki..." She muttered out. She felt her heart beat wildly in her chest, her palms becoming sweaty and felt as if her throat was closing up, restraining her breathing. She could not possibly be looking at her brother right now. He was dead so this boy before her must be an illusion. Illusion or not, she was looking at the face of her beloved brother and because of that, she couldn't prevent the tears from forming in her honey colored eyes.

"Hi big sister!" He smiled and ran over to her to embrace her in a tight hug that was more of a squeeze than a loving gesture. He started to laugh out of complete happiness and looked at his sister's face only to see tears streaming down her cheeks, "Why are you crying Tsunade? Did I hurt you when I hugged you?" He asked and sat in front of his older sister.

She wiped away her tears and laughed a bit, feeling somewhat embarrassed to be crying like a baby in front of her little brother, "It's just that I'm so happy to see you." She hugged him again and ruffled his hair, "I missed you, you little rascal."

"Tsunade!" He shouted in annoyance and shook his head in an attempt to get his sister to stop ruffling his hair, "I'm a man now so you can't be ruffling my hair like that like I'm some little kid." He grumbled and folded his arms across his chest.

Tsunade laughed at his statement, "You will always be a little kid in my eyes." She teased and stuck out her tongue at him.

He quickly forgave her and stuck his tongue out at her as well. He saw the crystal necklace dangling from Tsunade's neck and smiled softly, "I really wanted to keep that but it looks better on you." He said as he pointed to the precious necklace of his grandfather.

Tsunade looked down at her necklace and remembered that she gave it to him on his birthday which was only a day ago. She knew how much he admired it and felt bad that he could no longer have it, "You can wear it for a while." She said as she lifted the necklace over her head and put it over Nawaki's head, "After all, it was your birthday present."

He took the crystal pendant in his hand and admired it as it sparkled in the sunlight. It was a piece of treasure and he was proud to be wearing it, "It was the best present ever." He started, "Grandpa died before I was born so I never knew him. Can you tell me about him?" Nawaki longed to meet his grandfather but that was not possible. He only wished that he was born earlier so that he would have the opportunity to get to know his grandfather.

"Okay." Tsunade said then thought about what to say for a few seconds, "As you know his name was Hashirama Senju and he was the man who built the Leaf Village. He was the leader of our clan and the strongest Shinobi of all time. Everybody respected him but I just saw him as my funny grandpa. He taught me how to gamble and our grandmother used to scold him for that. I remember one time I played cards with grandpa and uncle Tobirama and of course I ended up losing. Grandpa was care free and liked to have fun. He was great and I was devastated when he died but his will still lives on and it always will." Tsunade said and smiled upon remembering her dear grandfather.

"Grandpa sounds like an awesome guy." Nawaki said, beaming with pride.

"He was." Tsunade agreed. There would be no ninja like Hashirama Senju because he was the best.

Suddenly, the happy look on Nawaki's face turned into one of sadness and this did not go unnoticed by Tsunade.

"What's wrong Nawaki?" She asked feeling concerned by just looking at the boy's face.

Nawaki removed the necklace from around his neck and handed it back to Tsunade, "Here you go."

Tsunade looked at the necklace that Nawaki placed in her hand and became confused. Just a while ago he was so happy to be wearing the necklace and he hasn't even been wearing it for more than a few minutes so she couldn't understand why he didn't want to wear it any longer, "You can wear it for longer. I don't mind."

Nawaki shook his head, "I have to go now." He said and suddenly a bright light appeared behind him, "We never got to say goodbye so this is our chance to do so." He rose to his feet, "I'm sorry I went out into the war so recklessly but I just wanted to help my village. I know I caused you so much pain and I'm sorry."

Tsunade's eyes grew wide with fear, "No Nawaki, you can't leave now, you just got here!" Tears returned to her eyes and fell down her cheeks rapidly as she begged her brother not to leave again.

"It's time to say goodbye Tsunade, my time is up and I have to leave." Nawaki said calmly and started to glow with a radiant white light, "Perhaps now I can meet grandpa." He smiled.

"No Nawaki! I don't want to say goodbye yet! You just got here, it's too soon! Please stay!" She cried.

"I want you to know that I love you. You were the best big sister anyone could ask for and I'm going to miss you so much. But please promise me that you'll be okay and that you'll find happiness."

"I'm begging you, please stay!" She was now hysterical but Nawaki remained calm.

"Goodbye Tsunade." He said and walked into the light and disappeared before her frantic eyes.

"Nawaki!" She shouted but received no answer. He was gone. The field suddenly disappeared and Tsunade found herself in an dark abyss filled with all her fears. She saw Nawaki's bloody corpse lying before her and she could do nothing but stand there and watch him bleed out. She couldn't move. It was as if she was trapped in a really bad genjutsu. She was screaming but there was nobody to hear her and she was crying but nobody was there to wipe away her tears. She was alone in a world of fear and darkness.

"NAWAKI!" She screamed as she shot up in her bed. Her clothes stuck on to her and were drenched with sweat and she was shaking uncontrollably. She wrapped her arms around her shaking body and tried to comfort herself to no avail. She brought her knees up to her chest and buried her head in the space created between and allowed her tears to fall, soaking the fabric of the sheets of her bed. The dream she just had completely shattered her. To have Nawaki by her side only to be taken away from her in just a few moments was the worst feeling anyone could experience. She sat in that position for a few moments but then stormed out of her room and went into Nawaki's room that was just beside her own. She took a deep breath and looked all around the room and couldn't believe that it was now the room of a deceased boy. Just last night, he was sleeping soundly in his bed, not having a care in the world. But now, he was lying in a morgue, lifeless. She walked over to his bed and picked up the teddy bear that sat on it with care. It was Nawaki's favorite toy since it was the last gift he had ever gotten from his parents. He claimed that he was a man but he still had that old bear. She hugged it gently and put it back on the bed. She walked over to his desk and saw a picture of the two of them. His entire room was filled with memories of him and the life they had together. She suddenly felt her breathing shallow and felt as if she was suffocating, just standing in that room. The room that was untouched and belonged to her late brother. She ran out of there, feeling as if she was going to collapse. She went back to her room but didn't go back to bed. She opened her closet and put on a gray hoodie over her white tank top, zipped it up and placed the hood on her head and slipped on a pair of jeans over her short shorts. She put on her shoes and walked out of her room, feeling as if she could not remain in there. That house was the house that she shared with her brother and the memories of him were all around. It was too painful to stay in there so she left. She was unsure as to where she was going but she knew for sure that she could not remain in that house.

She walked the empty streets of the village. It was no surprise that it was lonely because it was still raining heavily and furthermore it was late at night. The rain pelted her body, soaking the fabric of her clothes but she didn't care at all. She walked aimlessly for quite some time, with tears occasionally falling from her eyes. The street lights lit up the lonely road and reflected in the puddles on the ground. The lighting struck and illuminated the night sky. Most would be frightened by it but Tsunade kept walking, completely oblivious to the terrifying weather.

She didn't know how but she ended up in a familiar apartment building standing before the door of her teammate. It was as if, her feet had a mind of their own and decided to take her to Jiraiya's apartment. As if she had no control over her arm, it was lifted from her side and she knocked on the door with her hand turned into a fist. Suddenly she realized that it was late at night and she was at Jiraiya's door. He was probably asleep so she wasn't expecting an answer. She didn't even know why she was there but to her surprise, the door opened.

Jiraiya opened his door to find Tsunade standing before him, soaked from the rain with red rimmed eyes from all her crying and tear stained cheeks. She looked so pale and fragile that his heart broke upon seeing her look so worn and completely sad.

"I didn't know where else to go." Tsunade said softly and started to cry once again.

He grabbed her into his arms and she pressed her face into his chest and wept, soaking his shirt with her salty tears. He just held her, absently rubbing her back gently to soothe her, "Let's go inside." He whispered into her ear.

She lifted her head to look up at Jiraiya and gently nodded her head.

He took the pad of his thumb and gently wiped away one of her fallen tears and softly said, "You're going to be alright."

He didn't know why she decided to come to him, but he was glad that she did. No matter what it takes, he will ensure that she gets through this.

I come to you in pieces, so you can make me whole...


Should I continue? You tell me.

Thank you for reading!