The TARDIS Book: THE TIME IS NOW (Part 8)
Book Four: TO NEGOTIATE WITH DELINQUENTS
Chapter 11: A Good Ol' Fashioned Creature Feature
"Why didn't you tell me what was going on before?" asked Finn, growing angry.
"I can't work if I have panicky shipmates. I needed some time to figure out my plan," the Princess tried to explain.
"And what exactly is your plan?"
"Well, I'm not perfectly sure about the details... but I assure you that Marceline's father will be of some assistance."
"What does he know?"
"He knows more about the Candy Kingdom than you do, so stop asking questions while I figure out the rest." Finn was surprised that the Princess was using a rude tone with him. In the pit of his stomach, he could tell that the Princess was shaken by the Lich King's announcement. She was so stressed that she couldn't even come up with any real solutions to the problem. It was hard to believe it, but this was the first time Finn could see that she was unprepared.
"Where's his office, Marceline?" She asked.
In response, Marceline floated over to the room with a sign that read, "HUDSON ABADEER'S OFFICE" in red letters. "Umm, it's the door with the big, fat sign in your face. Come on."
"Please stay out here," she told Finn, Jake and the Ice King. They sat on the undead room couch as the Princess followed Marceline into the office of Hunson Abadeer.
"Marceline, I've miss you, kid. Where have you been?"
"Dad, I need your help."
"Help with what, sweetheart?"
"Sir, if I may explain. I am the daughter of Bonnibel the Second and Zeus of the Gumballs. As the Princess of the Candy Kingdom and on behalf of the Candy people, I beg for you assistance," the Princess bowed.
"O...kay... what is it?"
"We need you to tell us how to defeat the Lich King. He hath possessed the body of mine half-brother, Achilles. We need to stop him before he destroys the Candy Kingdom!"
"Hmm, why would this concern me?"
"Sir, if he gets through my people, he will reach your people."
"What's your name?"
"My title is the Princess."
"Look, 'the Princess'," he said while he condescendingly gestured with air quotes. "It wouldn't matter to me if I lost a few guys down here. Frankly we're overpopulated. It would actually be more convenient to have the Lich King down here. And plus I'm not worried 'cause it'd take a lot for him to get to me. And even if he did, he wouldn't stand a chance."
"Dad, you can't give up on the Candy Kingdom. You know Persephone would hate if you didn't help me save it. Please, Dad. Do it for her."
He groaned.
"That means yes," Marceline explained, rolling her eyes.
"Why don't you call her 'Mom'?"
"She died giving birth to me. I don't exactly deserve to call her 'Mom'."
"It's not your fault, kid. It's my fault for knocking her unconscious and implanting my egg into her womb."
"Eww, Dad, that story doesn't get any less gross the more you tell it. Anyway, can you help me?"
"Sorry, Marceline but I don't know much about the Lich. There is a kid though, he adjusts my humours from time to time. He's great with sports cars and what not. Plays a mean banjo, and by mean I mean it's mean to my ears because he hurts them with his awful playing. Oh, and he's OBSESSED with history and mythology and jank like that. You might know him."
"What be his name, sir?" pressed the Princess.
"Umm, it's either Adler- no, Aaron- is it Paul- oh, oh, I think it's Ash- ahh but Paul sounds about right- hold on, let me check my business card."
"Oh no," Marceline quietly whined to herself as he pulled the thin rectangular shape of coal that had the clumsy scrawlings of her ex's name on it.
Hunson skimmed and said obliviously, "Nope, I was wrong. It says Ash Berger. Whoops, ha. You know him, right Marceline?"
"So how long are we allowed to stay here?"
"Probably not long. We should get out of here as soon as we can. We get the information and we get out."
"Marceline, are you saying that because you're worried for our safety or because you want to avoid talking to your dad any longer?" inquired the Princess.
"Ugh, don't be so flattered. It's the latter."
"Well, I assume we're going to visit that Ash fellow now," said the Princess.
"Umm, you know what, he's probably unconscious... He gets into a lot of bar fights around this time, so we'll have to wait a few melos," stuttered Marceline.
"And what do you propose we do in the mean time?" Bubblegum sighed.
"We need to relax. You know, forget about all this jank for a second," Finn replied.
"I know what we should do. We should totally jam out. Come on!" Finn and the Princess moved to the floor onto what looked like an Ooolish marshdeer-skin rug where Marceline sat criss-cross lattice apple pie-sauce. Jake kept his distance and Ice King stayed motionless on the couch.
"This sounds like an excellent idea, Marceline," she said. Finn could tell that the Princess wanted as much time bonding with Marceline as she could get.
"But we don't have instruments," argued Finn.
"Get creative-you've got two hands, two feets and one mouth-you've got way more going for you than any Nightosphere demon I know," she said, sticking out her tongue as she winked. Finn blushed, feeling uncomfortable and confused by her gesture. He had to think on his feet.
"I'm not sure what to do..."
"Just make random sounds with your face or something, I don't care, just stay on beat," said Marceline while she twisted the small knobs at the end of her instrument. She moved her finger against the thickest metal string of her axe and as an immediate result, sound played off of its vibration.
"Finn, remember that rhythm is about repetition as well as timing. Make sure to choose a pattern of notes and stick to it," explained the Princess. "Marceline, I think we should play some classics, like, Bach or Beethoven," she recommended.
"Ugh, no, we're doing an original. Just use your sonic flashlight to do the rhythm. I'm on lead," called Marceline.
"Fine. Finn, that means you'll be doing percussion, so that can involve clapping, stomping-"
"Bonnibel, let him figure it out. He's not your child so you should stop patronizing him. We're sick of it," Marceline claimed.
The Princess immediately pulled her sonic flashlight in half, having the inner wiring and buttons open-faced. There were six buttons of different sizes and she tested each of them. Then she pressed two or three of them at the same time, developing an intriguing sound that was completely unfamiliar to Finn's ears. Finn noticed that his jaw had dropped and he had to consciously close it. It had just hit him that he was traveling with complete strangers. Strangers that he couldn't rip himself away from. A part of him resented himself for loving with how different Marceline and the Princess were, even from each other. In the back of his mind, he felt guilty because he had convinced Jake that he trusted the Princess. Part of him knew that she could be bad news, and Marceline absolutely reaked of danger. Although both of those girls had lived in Ooo for much longer than he had, they were far from anything he'd ever known growing up on that planet. And he couldn't get enough of them. The hardest part-perhaps the part he loathed the most-was that he never wanted to.
"You're such a dork," Marceline said as she snickered at the Princess and her instrument.
"Finn, all I need you to is clap your palms together. Just 1, 1, 1-2-3 and just keep doing that until I tell you to stop, got it?" Marceline explained.
"Got it, thanks. So when do we start?" asked Finn.
"On my count to three... One, two, three..." Marceline played her stringed instrument and let the first notes ring. Finn was keeping beat and the Princess created a multi-layered audio sandwich of notes. All of it seeming to meld to together as Marceline started singing,
"What do you expect?
When you're a creature I suspect
Why did you spread the news
that I'm taking after you?
So I'm a product you regret,
expect to regret.
Guess I'm making up
for what is due
I guess you're ashamed of me
because I ran away to be
just like her-"
"Marceline!" Marceline's dad interrupted her song. He had come through the door and it was apparent that he had just come back from grocery shopping, seeing as how he was holding a paper sack of produce and bread for Sandwich Night.
"Dad, what are you doing back so soon! Actually, why did you even go out? I thought you had people to go shopping for you."
"I've been under a lot of stress and the soul-sucking business isn't as booming as it used to be, Sweetheart. Hey, I should be interrogating you, young lady! First I let you bring a bunch of freaky-deaks over to our home and then you disfigure the Family axe to make a-a BANJO!" Hunson spat out the word "banjo".
"DAD, I'VE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES- IT'S A BASS GUITAR!" Marceline shouted. She flew over to her dad to stare him down. "And what family? You slaughtered marshdeer with that axe to impress Mom and she barfed!" As she said that, Finn and the Princess got off the marshdeer-skin rug and sat on the coach in between Jake and the Ice King.
"Woah, did she ralph bananyals?"
"Not now, Jake! Dad, you don't care about me, or my music! The only things you care about are money and killing!"
"Only because killing is in our nature and money is much more practical than music!"
"You're insane! I bet Mom was glad that she died, so she wouldn't have to hear another psychotic word from you again!"
"WOAH, this is enough bickering you two!" Finn interjected, stepping in the middle of the feuding family members. "We do not have time for your drama-bomba! Look at each other! You should be grateful to have each other. To have time with each other. To be alive to see one another. I was raised by dogs and although I still love them, I will never get know to my human parents, let alone find out what happened to them. But one thing that I am sure of is that they are dead and I will never be able to talk to them. And my adoptive parents: they're also dead. I don't get to fight about stupid things like you two do. I don't get to do that with them anymore. Do you get how lucky you are?"
Marceline floated to the ground and hugged her dad. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Mom's dead. I'm sorry I'm your only kid. I'm sorry I'm such a failure."
"Are you kidding? Honey, it's my fault she's gone. But I could never regret having you. I've always wanted a kid. And you know what? You're not at all what I expected, but you're everything I want in a daughter. I'm always here for you, kid. Don't forget that." Marceline let go and grinned. He returned the gesture.
"Why don't you guys head off to Ash's? I'm sure he's home by now. I'll give him a call so he's ready to see you by the time you get there."
"Thanks, Dad."
"Have fun saving the Candy folks and good luck with you, Princess. Hope your rag-tag gang of buddies make it through in one piece," Hunson chuckled.
"Ugh, Daaaad," Marceline's smile dropped back to a frown as she turned and left the room. Everyone shuffled out of the office back into the undead room where they initially landed, uncomfortable and exhausted by the emotional tension that they now shared a mutual experience of.
"Jake, you'd better cover your ears," the Princess warned as she pulled out her whistle again. Jake quickly followed her instruction. Unfortunately it was in vain, for the whistle still rang in his eardrums. Finn could tell because Jake's floppy ears vibrated from what must have been an unnerving sound.
"I'm sorry," Finn whispered to Jake, knowing that he couldn't make any real difference.
