Remembering Her.
By: Tilunar.
AN: I know I should be focusing on my other stories but this one won't leave me alone. This is going to be a rather short story and I hope you like it. This is going to be different then my other stories, perhaps it's darker in a way. This is going to be my first story without Sakura being the main character. Give me your thoughts on the first chapter and if you think I should continue with this story.
Chapter One, Uzumaki Naruto.
"Words were never my strong point, I could never find the words to say in the moments when you know you had to speak. But Sakura always knew what to say, she knew when to say something so wise that it made you pause and actually think about the words. She knew when to say something that would cheer you up, knew what to say to insult an enemy, and she knew what to say to make you stare at her like she was insane.
But there is two things that she once said that I knew for a fact was true. The first was 'Life is too short to worry about what other people think', it was true that life was too short but we didn't know how short her life was going to be. The second was 'Death is easy, it's living that's hard'. Life is especially hard when your best friend dies infront of you and you have to live with the grief and the guilt.
But there was a saying that I hate more then anything. 'Change is a good thing'. Bullshit. I have watched my friends change because of Sakura's death, and I can't see how any good came from it. Perhaps I'm bias, perhaps I'm too close to see the good, perhaps I've changed too much to see it. I don't know, and I really don't fucking care. All I know is I want things to be like they were last year, when Sakura was alive and we were friends.
But Sakura was gone. She was dead and she was never coming back, not matter how much we denied it, we had witnessed her death, we had watched as she was buried and listened to the mourners grieve as rage, pain, and grief boiled within us. We had fought eachother, blamed eachother for her death, and our bonds that had once seemed so strong shattered like glass.
And I wonder now, as I watch what has become of us. What Sakura would say if she could see us now? What would she do if she could see how we clinged to our grief and how we let it blind us? How would she react with us so carelessly throwing away our friendship?
I personally think she would be disappointed in us, she would be angry that we blamed eachother for her death, and that pains me almost as much as her death hurt me. And all I can say is, I'm sorry I failed you, Sakura, and I miss you so much." - Uzumaki Naruto, age twenty, on Yamanaka Sakura.
"Again, Uzumaki?" The resigned tone of the College's Headmistress almost made Naruto want to smile though he didn't, he didn't smile much these days.
Tsunade didn't even look up as he took his seat across from her in his favourite chair, it was a brown leather and was comfortable and was actually straight across from her, he didn't like the seats either side of him. Those seats had belonged to his old best friends.
As she looked up, she had a fleeting image of a slightly younger grinning Naruto with a dark haired young man to his left, a smirk on his pale face as he leaned back in the chair, and a young woman on his right with bright pink short spiky hair and a smile filled with mischief. But as she blinked her tawny eyes, the image was gone. She sighed slightly, sadness tinting her eyes as she tucked a stray strand of long light honey blonde hair behind her ear. She knew she would never see that image again.
"What did you do this time?" Tsunade asked as she looked at the ungrinning young man in front of her.
She found she missed his easy-going grin that he had always worn last year, but a lot had changed and she couldn't blame him for changing after what happened even if she didn't know the details. Then again Uzumak Naruto wasn't the only who changed, she thought to herself sadly.
Naruto shrugged, tugging at the bright pink wristband on his right wrist that stood out startling against his dark clothing that was so different from the bold colours he had used to wear, his dark blue eyes slightly narrowed, dark only by grief, pain, guilt and silent rage.
"Look Uzumaki, I'm sick of having you in my office at least twice a week." Tsunade said as she rubbed her temples. "You're a good kid, I know that, you know that, your parents know that." She looked at him with her tawny eyes narrowed and her red lips tilted down in a frown. "So I want you to write an essay about why you've changed, and I want it by the end of the year."
Naruto wanted to protest that he hadn't changed, that she didn't know what she was talking about but he didn't have it in him to lie, so he just nodded shortly before Tsunade dismissed him with another sigh.
Naruto plopped down on the rim of the founation beside his friend, Gaara, and taking the lit cigarette from the redheads outstretched hand, popping it in his mouth as he scanned the courtyard, finally finding one of the girls (Young women, Ino used to say) he was looking for.
Yamanaka Ino had changed alot since last year, last year it would of been easy to find with her bright and somewhat revealing clothing and her long glossy platinum blonde hair. Now her hair was cut in a short bob with a strand dyed bright pink, her clothing, like his, was dark, and she never wore skirts anymore. Gone was the healthy tan, her skin had paled and her slender busty frame had become skinny and her bust size was smaller then it had been, she looked smaller in the over-sized black hoodie she wore. Her heavily ringed eyes was smugded, obvious signs of her crying, and she leaned heavily into her new boyfriend, Aburame Shino.
Shino was good for her, Naruto thought. She was beginning to put back on the weight she had lost and she was spending more time outside so her skin wasn't as pale as it was a few months ago. But Ino still cried alot and refused to have her picture taken, and Naruto knew that Ino had taken up photography with no intention of becoming a model like she had wanted to be.
He also knew that Ino had chased away any girl that asked about moving into Ino's dormroom. He had witnessed Ino punching Kusagakure Karin in the nose after the redheaded girl asked before saying it was stupid to keep part of the room ready for a dead girl. Ino would of done more damage if he hadn't stepped in and held her back, though that didn't stop the other blonde from screaming at Karin. After that, no one tried to convince Ino into getting a new roommate which Naruto thought was a good idea and it took them long enough to get it. And people once said he had no tact.
But the point was, Ino was coping. At least somewhat coping and that was good. Naruto had promised to watch over Ino, even if they weren't friends anymore, he would make sure she was coping.
He exhaled a cloud of smoke as he searched for the other girl he had promised to watch over.
Hyuga Hinata sat with one of her classmates (He thought the guy's name was Sai) and her long navy hair was pulled back in a bun with paintbrushes going through it, a smudge of paint on her cheekbone. Her clothing was dark, the only colours from paints she used in her Art Classes and the pale pink sakura blossom clipped to the bun, and she had circles around around her light lavender eyes that had nothing to do with make-up.
She most likely was having nightmares. Naruto remembered a time when he would hold her in comfort but that had been last year and now they were no longer in a relationship. She'd probably shout at him if he tried to help her, plus she was moving on. He had noticed that she was spending more time with that Sai guy and hoped that he would make her happy and ignored the twitch of pain in his chest when he saw them together.
"What did the old lady want?" Gaara asked, glancing at him with heavily ringed seafoam eyes, his voice deep and husky.
"She wants me to write an essay about why I've changed by the end of the year." Naruto spoke around his cigeratte, running a hand through golden blond spkiy short hair.
Gaara snorted before he popped his own cigeratte into his mouth, long pale fingers played with his white headphones that hung around his slim neck as he watched the other students in the courtyard go about their lunch break.
Naruto smirked slightly as he inhaled before he exhaled a cloud of smoke.
The ringing of the bell made him sigh, and stabbed out his cigeratte as he stood, throwing his backpack strap over one shoulder as Gaara nimbly leapt up from where he sat crouched on the rim of the founatian.
Naruto shook his head lightly, and the two headed towards their classes.
Naruto was a Media student, he liked making films and being behind the camera, and yet some of his classes were with the Photography students for some reason and a few of his classes were with both the Photography and the Art students.
Those were the classes that brought the old friends together. Hinata was an Art student, while Ino was a Photography student with Shikamaru, and both himself and Sasuke were Media students.
Ino's genre was more portrait, she loved fashion even if she didn't want to be in front of the camera wearing the fashion anymore, and Shikamaru's genre was more landscapes, always having a good amount of sky in the images.
Hinata loved to paint, that had been her passion while Sasuke and himself enjoyed Media, making videos and films ect.
Naruto glanced around the room, noticing Sasuke being clinged to by Karin, the redheaded bitch didn't get the hints that Sasuke wasn't interested, Hinata was sitting next to Sai, Shikamaru was sleeping at the back left corner of the room while Ino sat in the front with Shino.
Kiba wasn't there.
He had taken Photography with Sakura, though he didn't have much of a passion for it like Sakura had, he had enjoyed the course and he enjoyed it more being in the same classes as the love of his life. Because Sakura was Kiba's only love, Naruto doubted that Kiba would ever find someone else. He also wasn't that surprised that Kiba hadn't showed up.
Kiba didn't turn up much these days and when he did, he would always end up in a fight and being sent home. Naruto knew Kiba preferred being home, where he could mourn in peace, where he could rage and cry and scream out his heart-break.
Naruto didn't like thinking of Kiba's pain much. Because thinking about his pain made Naruto more aware of his own pain and his guilt.
He helped kill Yamanaka Sakura and nothing he did would ever change that.
