A/N Hey everybody, so as promised, here is the first chapter of the spinoff. Next week I'll be posting the first chapter of I'll Fight It for You.
Also posted on my tumblr hungrywhovianpotterheadfrom221b under the tag Whovian Writes and IHTSYH: IINL
disclaimer: I don't own OUAT
He paced before the phonebooth, torn apart by indecision. Neal knew, that he shouldn't make this choice. Shouldn't be the one to decide how Emma's life would go. Who was August? Why did he believe he had the right to make that choice for Emma? Then he thought of Emma. She deserved to find her parents. She would if he left. He knew that. Someday she would go to where they were.
Unbidden came the thoughts of his father next. A familiar wave of fear tore through him at the thought of his father. It was unlikely the man had changed since he left. He hadn't been Baelfire in so long, he had almost forgotten what it was like to be that stubborn, and scared little boy. Could he really face the man that brought about these fears?
The image of his father drives him then. He pulled the change from his pocket and held it poised at the slot, another wave of fear, this time for Emma. If he does this, he places her in danger. Sends her right to his father in ten years. Then again, if he doesn't she'll always be an orphan… there was no way, that he could be the family she deserved. Especially as he sat poised to throw her entire life away on the words of a stranger. He feels tears of frustration spring to his eyes, as he runs a hand through his hair, and starts to drop the coins in.
"Stop." Comes a sudden, and shockingly familiar voice from behind him. He goes tense. It's not possible. How could he be here? Neal wonders, as he slowly turns to face the man who would intrude on this moment. He almost released a groan when he recognized the man before him. He wished he could believe that there was no way that it could be Hook, but there remained the fact that the last he had seen the pirate had been in Neverland. So everything made sense as he looked at the pirate, including that split moment almost a month before.
He had been sure he had recognized the silhouette, as Emma tugged on his sleeve. "Hey, watch this." She whispered, as she slipped out of the booth, and started smooth-talking a guy at the bar. He fought back a surge of jealousy as she kissed the guy, and was up out of the booth before he knew what was happening.
As soon as the encounter had started, it was over. The man clapped him on the shoulder on his way out, and spoke in an impossibly familiar voice. "Nice catch you got yourself, needs work in the theft department."
Of course, it would have been someone from there. It was like the Enchanted Forest was haunting him. "What?" He asked, voice a little breathless, but he quickly schooled his features. How could Hook know who he was? He wasn't that little boy anymore.
Hook steps more firmly into the light, chasing away any lingering doubt about the identity of the man in the shadows. "Don't make that call." He said, and Neal saw something in his expression, that gave him pause. Some unnamed emotion that was warring with the flickering anger on his face. "It'll be the biggest mistake of your life."
"How do you know? Do I know you?" He asked, trying to play stupid. How could Hook know anything? He obviously couldn't know he was the boy he had sold to Pan all those years ago, and he wasn't about to tell him.
Hook continues closer, till he right in front of him. "Cut the crap Baelfire, We both know that you do."
Neal felt like he was doused with ice water. If Hook knew, god, what if his father could find him? He pushed his fear behind something he could handle better, anger. "Why shouldn't I make that call? Don't you want the curse broken? Like your buddy August?"
Hook shook his head, and Neal couldn't explain the expression on the Pirate's face when he spoke next. "I could care less, though something tells me fate will still bring her to Storybrooke when the time is right." His blue eyes snap to meet Neal's, "Question is will you let history repeat itself?"
Neal steps out of the booth, and starts towards Hook, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It's simple, I'm from the future." He starts, and Neal lets out a laugh at the absurdity of it all.
First the man that his father said killed his mother appears, now he claims he's from the future? God, reality does not get this strange. Not even when he was back with his father. Even when he was stuck in Neverland, it wasn't this weird. "What is this? Back to the future?" He throws up his hands with a laugh, shaking his head. "Okay Marty McFly, next are you going to tell me I have to go punch you and become her hero?"
"I don't quite understand what that means, but we'll get back to that." Hook states, "Just don't make that call, go to that parking structure, find Tallahassee, just don't make that call, I've seen what it does to her heart."
Neal turns away, "I'm giving her, her best chance." He says, "I'm letting her fulfill her destiny."
Hook lets out a barking laugh, "was that you? Or was that the cocky puppet talking?"
Neal ignores him. Turning back to the payphone, he is brought up short, when Hook speaks again, knocking the wind out of him, and breaks his heart in one strike. "I love her." Hook whispered brokenly, and Neal started to turn as the Pirate continued, "In the future, I love her. It took so long to get her heart to open up, she was broken when I met her. That call destroys Emma Swan the way she is."
He can't let himself be won over that easily. August's words replaying in his mind. "Maybe that's what makes the savior." Neal reasons, it sounds like a weak argument even to his ears. He turns back to the payphone, and jumps as a hook appears in front of him effectively locking the booth shut.
"No, that's what breaks her heart, you are her first true love. When you broke her heart, it never healed, even now, she fears the future, is afraid to open her heart to love again." Hook snarls in his ear, and Neal feels tears threaten.
He imagines Emma alone and scared, and angry. Locked in a prison cell for something he did. Never being able to trust anyone again, and it breaks his heart all over again. He closes his eyes, no. He owed it to Emma. He owed her the chance to find her family. He owed her the chance to fulfill her destiny.
He looks to Hook, and sees the same conflict on the other man's face, until a look of dawning realization lights the Pirate's eyes. "This isn't about Emma, is it? It's your fear, your fear of your father. You're afraid if you don't leave her, let her go, you'll have to face Rumplestiltskin."
He sighs, he knows that Hook wouldn't agree with it, but he had run from his past for so long, that it was practically impossible to think of facing it again. So he found himself nodding. "Yeah, that's part of it…" He admits.
Hook pulls back a little, and Neal thinks he might be letting him go, until Hook shouts. "Well stuff it!" His face is red with anger, "I can't let you break her heart" His voice was softer then, cracking a little, "You can't let August get to you, save her heart." He pleaded, and Neal can see it then, a man that would do anything for the woman he loves, including give her up to protect her heart. He felt a pang, as he realized, that he was giving her up, because he was afraid of his damn father.
"I don't get it." Neal says, "The way you talk in the future, you and Emma are…"
"Aye, we are." Hook says softly, seeming to get lost in his thoughts.
"Then why? Why keep her with me?" He asked, he was curious, why would he let her go, if she meant so much to him?
Hook looks away, before he answers. "I can't watch her break, not again. Not like the last times." Neal eyes the man. 'last times?' he silently asked, as Hook pulled back from the door, and he could step inside again. He knows it's selfish, as he turns away from Hook, Emma's tear stained face flashing behind his eyes again, as she cries alone in a prison cell, but he pushes it away, one last time, as he opened the booth, and stepped inside.
Hook gives him an angry, and defeated look. Neal raises the coins again, and once more is brought up short, by Hook's voice. "Like father, like son." He growls.
He pauses a surge of anger rising inside of him. "I'm nothing like my father." He says, as he drops the coins into the slot.
"If you go through with that call you make the same mistake. The same mistake the Crocodile did, and the same one his father made." Hook promises, "You go through with that, you abandon your son."
The implication of what Hook said hit him like a sucker punch to the gut, it took him a second to be able to formulate the thoughts that told him what it meant. Was it possible? Could Emma be pregnant? Hook. If Hook was really from the future, he knew, didn't he? "Hook, wait." He called, turning, feeling a sick feeling rise up inside of him, and he knew if she was, he couldn't do it. Leaving her was hard enough. Screw August, he wouldn't abandon Emma through this, if it was true.
"What?" Hook pauses, and looks back at him.
Neal took a deep breath before he continued. "Is Emma pregnant?" He asked, his voice hitching, and he knows when he says it, even if she's not, he can't leave her. He's not his father. It's time he grew up, and faced it.
"Aye, and if you make that call, she gives that baby up." Hook tells him, "He's a brilliant boy, by the way."
"How do you know?" His voice comes out in a harsh whisper. He needs to know, needs to know how Hook knows his son.
His fears are confirmed when Hook turns back to face him. "I've met him. In fact, I've grown rather close to the lad." He gets a fond smile on his face, that almost looks sad. "I've almost come to see him like a son of my own." Informs him, and Neal felt a lump in his throat. He can't let her give their son up, can't let him grow up like they both did, and suddenly it all hits him. Emma's pregnant. He's going to be a father. He looked up at Hook, "I'm going to be a father?" He asked, just needing the reassurance.
Hook looked conflicted. "Not if you make that call."
He let out a breath, and met Hook's eyes, brown and blue, meeting with the same emotions at war in each "Then I won't." He promised, and he saw Hook's shoulders slump, in a mix of relief and heartbreak.
"Go get your Swan, Mate." He tells Neal, as he turns and walks away.
"You can count on it." Neal said into the night, as Hook walked away. Without another moment, Neal rushed off, knowing that the fence would soon be gone, and he needed that money to keep Emma and their son safe and happy.
~~If I Never Leave~~
Neal woke up, as Emma pulled the car to the side of the road, and practically leapt out of the door, vomiting into the bushes. He was suddenly wide awake, and out of the car in a flash. He rushed to her side, and swept her hair back over her shoulders. He rubbed her back soothingly.
"Are you okay, Em?" he asked with concern.
She groaned. "Yeah, I think it's just something we ate last night." She told him, swiping at her mouth with the back of her hand. "Maybe you can drive for a while?" She asked, shooting him a hopeful smile.
He nodded. "Yeah, babe. I can drive, you just get some rest." He told her, as he helped her back to the car. It had been several weeks since that night back in Portland, when he nearly made the biggest mistake of his life. It was no secret to him, why for the last week, Emma had been getting sick, but he knew she wasn't sure yet, so when he pulled up to a gas station, and told her it was a snack run. He wasn't surprised when she made a beeline for the small pharmaceutical section. He also wasn't surprised when he saw her discretely tuck a pregnancy test into her jacket as he payed for gas.
"Ready?" She asked, as she brought up some bags of chips, jerky and some sports drinks.
"yeah, are you? Feeling better?" He asked.
She looked a little nervous. "Yeah, I'm feeling much better."
He gave her a long look, but nodded. "Hey, I was thinking we should get a room tonight?" He offered. "We got the money, and it's been too long, since we actually got to sleep in a bed."
Emma looked so grateful, as she nodded. "That sounds great." She told him, before she hugged him.
He held her close. He couldn't believe he had almost given this up. He breathed in her unique scent, they payed, and got directions to the nearest motel. It was time to take a day off from driving.
The day passed rather uneventfully until they ate lunch, and no more had the food arrived in the room, then Emma was up and running to the bathroom, and emptying all of the snacks she had eaten while they were on the road into the toilet.
He rushed after her, as she sagged on the floor in the bathroom. Tears were running down her cheeks. In that moment it struck him, how young she was. She had admitted to him a few weeks before, as they sat in a coffee shop, that it was her birthday. That was when he realized he didn't know how old she was.
Emma smiled shyly, as she stirred her cocoa. "Do you want to know how old I am today? Or how old I was yesterday?" She asked.
Neal chuckled. "I would like to know how old you are." He told her. "I can't believe we went this long without me asking."
Emma blushed, and looked up. "Eighteen?" she offered.
He paled. She was a minor. She wasn't an adult when they met. "You mean, today you're nineteen? Or is this your eighteenth birthday?"
"The second?" She said in a small voice.
"You mean you are literal jailbait. Damn, I'm glad we never got caught." Neal chuckled.
She grinned. "But now, I am a totally legal adult." She told him, raising her mug in a toast.
"Em." He said softly, crouching in front of her. She started sobbing. "Em, Em, what's wrong? Come here." He said, pulling her to him.
She shook her head, and sobbed harder.
"Shhhhh." He whispered, smoothing her hair. "I'm here Em. I'm here. What's wrong?"
She let out a shaky breath. "I'm late." She whispered.
He already knew what she meant, but he pulled back. "What do you mean?" he asked.
She sat up, rubbing her face with her hands. "I'm late. My period should have been a week ago, and I've been getting sick…" she looked vulnerable. "I stole a test from the gas station earlier."
He widened his eyes for effect, even though he already knew. "What are you talking about, Em. You don't think…"
She broke down again. "I don't know. I can't be a mom." The last part was a broken whisper.
His heart broke for her. "Hey, hey now. We don't know for sure. Even if you are, you won't be alone. I promise. If you are, we'll raise it together."
She looked up at him with wide eyes. "You mean that?" she asked.
He smiled gently. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere." He promised. "I'll be here for both of you." He put a hand on her shoulder while the other brushed her hair back from her face. "And, if you are pregnant? Well, I'll make it official. That is if you'll have me?"
She sniffled, and chuckled a little. "did you just propose to me on the bathroom floor of a motel room?"
Neal laughed, and nodded, "I guess I did, and here." He got up and ran to the table and grabbed an onion ring and returned to her, and dramatically got down on one knee. "Emma Swan, will you marry me?" he asked, offering the onion ring to her.
Emma laughed, and nodded and leaned down to kiss him. "Yes, but promise we'll get an actual ring? I really would hate if my engagement ring spoiled."
His heart soared, as he shot up, holding her to him with a laugh. "Yes Emma, I'll get you something better than an onion ring offered in a dirty motel bathroom." He promised her.
Emma laughed again, and leaned in for a kiss, but pulled back. "Oh, sorry… puke breath."
Neal grinned, and kissed her anyway. "I don't mind a little puke breath."
~~If I Never Leave~~
Emma took the test that same night, and after a few tense minutes of sitting on the edge of the bed, she looked down at the test in her hands, and confirmed what Neal already knew. "Neal. We're having a baby."
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