The awkward moment where I prove I'm alive with THIS.
This was a joke to cheer up Ditto9. I don't know why she wanted me to upload it – I think she just wants people to hate me XD
Please know that I am very tired, very upset and VERY confused c:
The door burst opened as Jill came home one summer afternoon all the way from Hong Kong, bawling.
"MY LOVE," Chris shouted, jumping out of his seat by the fireplace and placing his bubble pipe down, "WHAT IS TROUBLING YOU?"
Jill wailed as Chris took her in his arms. "One of the children in class today – Or last week, I have no idea where we are at the moment or the time lapse – called me an egg!"
"The cur!" Chris gasped, "Fear not, I shall set all right!"
With that he swept Jill off her feet and brought her to the bedroom, where good times were had.
"I'M STILL FUCKING HERE." Claire announced indignantly from the sofa in the lounge.
Ignoring her, Chris and Jill went on to have 1000 babies who did not call their mother an egg.
ELSEWHERE, MILLIONS OF MILES AWAY – In Chris and Jill's Attic…
"CHRIS REDFIELD HAS 1000 CHILDREN?" Wesker screeched. He flipped the table with the monitor on it and stormed down from the attic. IN THE KITCHEN he brewed a pot of coffee, which was stolen by the younger Redfield, brewed a second and began plotting his brilliant plan.
"WESKEEEEER YOU SHALL NOT DESTROY MY FAMILY!" Chris shouted, storming into the kitchen riding a mother fucking unicorn. A battle with MANY EXPLOSIONS HAPPENED AND WESKER WAS BANISHED TO THE BASEMENT.
"I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE CHRIIIIIISSSS!" Wesker shouted from the basement as he tried to fix the furnace.
"WHY CAN'T I HOLD ALL OF THESE BABIES?" Jill cried, as the door to the bedroom opened and the house was flooded with babies, which were all trained in the ways of zombie killing.
THE END.
