For as long as I've known Kim Possible, there has been one universal truth--no matter my social standing or effort, she always manages to one up me every time whether it be grades, cheerleading, or even popularity. Yes, popularity. While I may call myself the Queen of Middleton High (it's only a self appointed title at best), the whole world adores her, the plucky teenager who saves the world before bedtime.
I had long strived to find a way to turn the tables on Kim, to find a way to show myself to be better than her at something, and all of my efforts were rewarded with failure and more praise for Kim. It seemed that everytime I directed my efforts at Kim, she always found a way to strike back twice over. However, a new, different opportunity finally presented itself one day after cheer practice.
I was quite cross that day. Cheer practice was over and that meant I had to go home. Connie and Lonnie, my two older sisters were on break from college and the moment they had stepped in the door, my boring and uninteresting homelife, with just Mom and me, had devolved into much, much worse. It was like junior high all over again.
With such a weary weight on my shoulder, I left the gym last. Ron Stoppable was seated outside, his Mad Dog mask in his lap. He was probably waiting for Kim, like always. He smiled at me as I walked past. I ignored him, silently cursing him for his good fortune. Both he and Kim infuriated me, Kim especially. They probably had the perfect life, loving, supportive parents. No older siblings to constantly trash their efforts, and when they go out and do something unexpected, they're suddenly the paragons of teendom. Damn them both.
I walked past him without stopping to acknowledge his presence, pushed the locker room door open and entered. I undressed, wrapped a towel around me, and made my way to the shower room. Most of the girls, no doubt eager to return to their sickening perfect homes, had already showered and were in various states of dress with the notable exception of Tara and Kim.
I weaved past the other cheerleaders towards the showers when I happened to hear a conversation between Tara and Kim. To avoid as much suspicion as possible, I turned around, sat down at the nearest bench as if to rest myself a bit, and strained my hearing to its utmost. Tara was talking rather animatedly with Kim and based on the amusing fluctuations of her voice I could almost visualize her gesticulations and cheery expressions.
"So Kim, you know whether Ron's seeing anyone these days?" How Tara could still harbor an interest for Ron was beyond me. She had Josh Mankey and he was a respectable boyfriend. Unlike Stoppable, he had the looks, had taste, and was an artist. Stoppable, well it seemed like he never grew up out of junior high at all.
It took an moment for Kim to respond, and I was surprised it took her a moment. Was she not his best friend? Didn't they spend most of their time outside of school together? Ron was Kim's lap dog. Her little toy that tagged along with her, feeding off scraps of popularity she left around. Why he was so eager to hang around and please her was a mystery which I had failed to unravel since elementary school. It was another one of those seemingly universal truths.
"Well, not exactly," she said. How could she be so vague, either he was dating someone or not. "He's very busy you know"
"Busy?" asked Tara. Bless her blondness, she can be a bit of ditz at times and very gullible. She was one of the few people in school who I'd willingly call a friend. Maybe she was the only friend I had, and for a good reason. All of the other girls, Kim included, were more than capable of treachery and lying, but Tara, she was amazingly sweet, straightforward, and very honest. It took someone like Tara to be willing to discuss the very idea of dating Ron in a public place, if one could call the showers in the girls' locker room a public place.
"Well, you know. The whole save the world thing," said Kim as if it were a big deal. If she felt compelled to save the world, she should have had the good sense to just not go around parading it like some badge of honor.
"You save the world every day?" asked Tara. Poor gullible Tara was impressed. "That's amazing," she said, no doubt smiling. "But isn't it very tiring? How do you manage to work so hard every day? I'd be a napping in class all the time." She clapped her hands, as if she had an epiphany. "No wonder Ron sleeps in all of his classes."
Kim groaned. "Not exactly. It's just that anything can happen anytime and that can kill relationships. Besides, aren't you still dating Josh"
"Yes, but his Dad's job got moved back East and he has to go soon." And she should be looking at Jason on the football team instead of crawling back to Ron. Poor Tara never realized that Ron could be as dense as bricks and never picked up on her interest.
Scarily enough, Kim shared the same thought. "Didn't you get tired of Ron last year when he never really asked you out"
"Oh no, I got tired of him playing hard to get," she said as if it were the truth. Poor girl, little did she know. "I'm going to be more direct this time and ask him out instead." I suppressed a groan as I imagined what a scandal that would turn out to be. "Maybe next Friday"
"You can't"
"Why not"
"We're busy Fridays," said Kim.
"So the two of you are dating. Sorry to put you on the spot. I feel so silly for..." said Tara, clearly disappointed, but apologetic.
Kim cut her off. "Oh no, you misunderstand me. We're not dating. It's just a tradition we have. You know, we hang out together, get some dinner. Friend stuff, you know"
"Well, in that case," said Tara. She paused and there was a slight uncomfortable silence. She probably was trying to gauge Kim's reaction before continuing.
I took advantage of the uncomfortable silence to rescue Tara from social suicide. I marched into the showers. "Kim, you know that cheer routine would be much better with me on top and not you," I said as if it were an undeniable truth. I wanted to bait Kim into an argument and prevent Tara from asking again.
Kim glared at me, and completely forgot about the conversation with Tara. "Well maybe if you can do the routine, I wouldn't have a problem with you on top"
Tara sighed, adjusted her towel and left the two of us. "See you tomorrow." She knew better than to stick around. Kim and I have had our heated arguments and today was one of those days I did not want such an argument, especially with Connie and Lonnie at home.
"Actually Tara, wait a second. I'll give you a ride home," I said. There, an excuse to break off from Kim and not have to think of a witty retort. I glared at Kim and we mutually, but not amicably, parted.
I drove Tara home, carefully explaining to her the whole notion of the Food Chain, again. I explained how dating Ron would be devastating to her social standing, and while she seemed to understand my points, I had a feeling that my words were just flying through her head, swiftly in and out. We had this conversation before, right after that terrible Camp Wannaweep incident. I knew she was ignoring me and would again talk to Kim tomorrow.
I dropped her off at her home and began the agonizing drive home. Apparently, my sisters were having a little trouble with love at school and without boyfriends to keep them occupied that meant they had a lot of idle time at home.
I barely dodged a snarky comment from them and locked myself in my room, my only sanctuary from my sisters or my overprotective Mom, who still thinks I'm eight years old to this day. It was five o'clock, which meant two more hours of peace and respite from my family. I decided to pass the time by updating my diary.
I booted my computer and typed in my thoughts of the day. Over all, it was just more of the same crap, although Kim and Tara's conversation was interesting enough to mention. I finished summarizing their talk, when realization struck. Kim was interested in Ron Stoppable, despite her vehement denials. Or at least that was the impression that I got. Why else would she be so interested in hogging him to herself on Fridays? Dinner and time together every Friday, that definitely sounded like dating.
I quickly searched back through my diary and with this new understanding, I found plenty of evidence. There was that whole incident freshman year where Ron finally ditched his unkempt look. Girls were practically throwing themselves at him and Kim was unsettled by this. But with this new perspective, Kim was just unsettled by the change, she was jealous.
And there was that Asian girl who showed up out of the blue one day and was immediately familiar with Ron. I made a note of how interested she was in him and how clueless he was to that fact. How he failed to react to her impossibly cute uniform and amazing legs defied all forms of logic, but more importantly, Kim was definitely jealous.
More and more evidence, little bits and pieces tossed around which lend credence to my observation that Kim liked Ron, a lot. Sure she didn't admit it, but you can't argue with evidence, like the fact they had spent Friday evenings together. Would Ron reciprocate those feelings? I thought about it for a moment and concluded otherwise. Ron was more boy than man, and on top of that, back when Kim had her infatuation with Josh, he had helped her pursue him.
I was inspired by this finding, and I had finally found something with which I could knock some humility into the great Kim Possible and take her down a few notches. I typed hurriedly and the rest of the night was spent brainstorming a plot worthy of my sisters.
