Me: Seriously guys, I made this out of sheer spite. I get so pissed off watching Vampire Knight sometimes because they're so EMO. I love them and all cause of the hot guys and kind of decent plot, BUT CHILL DOWN WITH EMO-NESS. This is a reason why I have made a hyperactive OC. If you're looking for drama and, "I'M A HALF VAMPIRE!" or some kind of shit that goes along those lines, this is not for you. This is also not for you if you can't handle rated R jokes and stupidity. So yeah, see ya! AND AIDOU!

Aidou: What?

Me: Disclaimer please?

Aidou: Only if you call me Idol-sama.

Me:...ZERO!

Aidou: OKAY I'LL DO IT! Humans are so annoying! Matsuri Hino belongs Vampire Knight. The (pathetic) author decided to have fun with us for a while... =_= Gross.


Chapter One:

Watanabe Miki

"If my balls are blue, and I'm yellow, doesn't that mean I have green balls?"

Watanabe Miki was not a meticulous person.

Miki—a typical Japanese girl with an abnormal height of 5'6—was easy to decipher with just one look. Her dyed blonde hair was symbolic to show fellow classmates that she absolutely refused to look the same as every one of them because each damn person had either brown or black hair—with the exception of Sayori (honey-colored hair), Zero (silver), the chairman (extremely light brown perhaps?), and the Night Class. Her large gray eyes always showed a mischievous glint, warning intelligent people to stray away from the sixteen-year-old before she wreaked havoc. She was a straight D student bordering on F for every class except physical education. Her attention span was really short unless it was focused on any activities involving movements like archery, track, judo, dancing, and etc. etc. She was the sporty type—not the books. The description, "All brawns and no brains!" matched her perfectly. All in all, if you shove this girl in a large classroom with only two exits (minus the windows), she would either A) Fall asleep or B) Do something stupid. Not C) Listen to the teacher, take notes, and study.

"My students, I would love for you to listen to me instead of falling asleep or start another conversation. I know my voice is dull, and it's only 9:18, but please. I'm only trying to help you pass high school so you can graduate. The faster you graduate, the faster you can get out of here. Isn't that what you all want?" There were a large group of creatures with the X chromosomes protesting because they wouldn't get to see the precious Night Class anymore. Miki, with years of practice, tuned them out. If she was honest with herself, she preferred to exercise than look at boys. The fake blonde had a knack for judging people with just one look. Whether they were attractive or not, she could tell by observing their personalities and habits and concluded that guys at Cross Academy were assholes; even if she was friends with a lot of them from her sports club.

One example of her good judgment was Kiryuu Zero. He was strangely quiet and rarely spoke unless spoken too, even to a teacher. His looks were natural at that—with silver hair and lavender colored eyes. He wasn't a school failure or genius, he was somewhere in the middle for academics. Yet she was sure that he possessed a very large amount of strength somewhere. He carried a different air around him than normal teens. Miki was sure, that if she ever decided to interact with him, she would do her best to piss him off until she saw him yell at her because he was good at keeping his voice in check when he spoke to "normal" people. The only exception were the Night Class, Yuuki, the chairman, and fan girls! He treated everyone with common sense like fleas; like they were a waste of his time. And yeah, he was an asshole. This is the exact reason why she refused to go out with any guy. However, Miki could see how Zero was just a big "cuddly bear who cries when he sleeps" near Yuuki. There was just something about the two….

"TEACHER! I HOPE YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ME! JUST IN CASE YOU KNOW, I AM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH THIS SUBJECT OF….Yori-chan, what subject is this?"

"Science." Wakaba Sayori had been stuck next to Watanabe in the beginning of the year, but the blonde girl was very adept of befriending everyone in the Day Class with her uncanny and friendly personality. Plus Sayori and Yuuki kept her in line when the time came.

Miki then jabbed an index finger at the older man with eagerness, "SCIENCE. I LOVE SCIENCE, AND I HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION IN YOUR CLASS SINCE THE BEGINNING."

The man raised a thinning white eyebrow, "I was reviewing the periodic table for students who might not remember it. Care to recite it in order?"

"Uhh….H-H-H-H-Hy-Hy-Hyperactivity and then Hentai?" she stuttered out, embarrassed.

The entire class doubled over in laughter at her antics.

"It's Hydrogen, and then Helium."


"So hey, why are girls getting so annoying lately? I noticed that they were talking about the Night Class more than usual. Hell, I even saw some girls in Home Ec. throw some hair into the food they were cooking. It was gross, but I wanted to try some to see if it tasted good at all," Miki said aloud, stretching her legs before settling herself on the grass besides Yuuki and Sayori. She dug through her bag and found her lunch, pulling it out with one fluid motion.

Yuuki sighed, shaking her head. "It's because in two more days, it will be Valentine's Day."

"So?"

"So, it means girls want to prepare their chocolate for the Night Class. Duh! I wish you pay attention these kinds of things more Miki-chan, " Yuuki explained.

"For once, I have to agree with Miki. There is nothing important about Valentine's Day," Sayori admitted, in her soft calming tone. "Besides, the Night Class kind of creep me out. They're the private type of people."

"Like you?"

"Worse."

"You two are so…ugh. Never mind. The point is, these girls are desperate to give their chocolates to the Night Class. It's going to be so packed on Valentine's Day, about half of them won't even get the chance to have their chocolates delivered. They would practically pay a lot of money to have a person deliver their things to them. But it's impossible with the securities set around Cross Academy."

"Wait, you're saying these lunatics will pay to have their chocolates delivered to those freaks?"

"Mmhmm."

"I see…" A mischievous idea formed in her head as Miki stuffed her store-brought onigiri down her throat quickly, barely chewing before swallowing. It was oddly fascinating, yet disgusting, to see her eat anything that was edible in under five minutes. "Hey Yori-chan! Pass me my orange juice!"

"Here."

"Thanks!" She slurped it down, and threw the empty container and wrapper in the trashcan with precision. "SCORE!"

Yuuki shook her head with a soft smile, "You should really try eating slower. It's bad for your health."

"Awww! Are you worried about me?"

"Of course!" Yuuki replied sincerely.

The athlete patted her head. "Thanks honey, but don't worry. I'll be fine. I want to take a run before class starts again. Bye you guys!" She slung her bag over her shoulder and jogged around the school building quickly and to the gates where the Moon Building. Her eyes darted up and down the blocked entrance with the large wooden doors in the way. "Tch! Damn. I won't have a problem getting down. Getting up there would be a challenge." She checked her watch and realized she had twenty more minutes left. Pacing around the front with her hands in her pockets of her skirt, she snapped her fingers loudly. Running over to the side, she climbed in the tree and stood on the tallest branch before jumping on the top of the entrance of the Moon Dorm. She paced above it with a perfect set of balance due to sports, and put her hands up to shield her eyes away from the sun.

"If I do this, I can just throw the chocolates to them! OR, I can use a bow and arrow and shoot it on their doors! The girls would definitely pay me a lot for this! I wonder how much I should charge them for an item. Maybe five hundred yen an item? Oh Watanabe Miki, you're such a genius! HAHAHAHA!"

"What are you doing?"

She looked down to see bright blonde hair and blue eyes. A hot guy. Awesome. She crouched on the little platform the entrance offered to her lanky body, unaware that she was giving the boy underneath her a free show of her underwear. "I'm checking out the Moon Dorm, obviously."

He raised a blonde brow with amusement and curiosity, hands in his pockets as he leaned back on the wall to shade himself, head lolled back to keep eye contact with her the entire time. And to catch the nice view! It was quite beautiful today. "If I remembered correctly, aren't you in the Sun dormitory? Shouldn't you be in—"

She cut him off, "Who cares? Hey hey! What's your name? Are you European? You look like one!"

Her questions caught him off guard, and he feigned a gasp, "I'm shocked! Everyone knows who I am! I have such beautiful looks and a charming personality! Surely, you must have heard of me! I'm very popular among your kind!"

Her eyebrows scrunched up. "Your kind? What is that, a European saying? THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN EXTREMELY DEROGATORY TERM!"

"The Day Class of course!"

"Oh!" Miki brought his lie. "Well if you're so popular, how come I don't know you?"

"Maybe you're an outcast?"

"Nah! I'm too popular!"

"You? Popular. Please, I hear lies all of the time, but at least theirs sounds believable. A girl that lacks mannerism and femininity is in no way popular."

Miki glared at her and crossed her arms. "Screw you! I'm telling the truth ya' know! I'm the face of the girls' sports team! And for your information, I am AWESOME. I don't need to look good or have really, really nice grades to prove that. My personality is much more likeable compared to your shitty ass one! The only reason why girls must like you is because you're a DOUCHE. YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, A DOUCHE. D-O-U-S-H-E."

"You spelled douche wrong."

"Wow, fantastic baby. So tell me, what's your name?"

He seemed very eager to give her his name, "Aidou Hanabusa! My fans call me Idol!"

"Your name sounds pretty….Hmmm. I really need to improve my vocabulary to find the right term to describe this confusing feeling I am having now."

"Cool?" Aidou questioned, wondering if she even had the simple word in her vocabulary list at all.

"No, I was thinking of homosexual." She smiled widely, satisfied when he became flustered with her response. "Anyway, my name's Watanabe Miki! Nice to meet you Aidou! Maybe we can become friends later on when you get that pole out your butt!"

Aidou's blue eyes widened at her blunt statement and he frowned. Friends with an idiotic human? Preposterous. Humans only served as meals to him. Nothing more, nothing less. "I'd rather eat goat than be friends with some girl who wears panda printed underwear!" Let's face it, Aidou was lying to himself. The sight of her knickers were very different than those, "I want your ting-ting in me!" underwear girls showed him. And cooked goat meat was pretty damn delicious.

"OH YEAH? WELL I'D RATHER BE RAPED BY AN OLD MAN OBSESSED WITH HENTAI THAN LOOK AT YOUR FACE!"

"NOT EVEN THAT OLD MAN WOULD WANT TO RAPE YOU!"

"SAY THAT AGAIN YOU SLY SON OF A BITCH!"

"I SAID, NOT EVEN A—"

"Aidou." Aidou froze on the spot and slowly craned his head to meet eyes with the one and only pureblood in the entire school, Kuran Kaname. The pureblood looked strangely amused by the events playing out. "You are supposed to be inside sleeping." His auburn eyes then settled on Miki. "Miss, please go back to class. You are disturbing the dorm with your different presence." Oh Kaname. Did he think that he was going to get to her by using proper manners?

She waved a hand, getting a hint that he was trying to be nice and not offensive, "Don't worry. I get that a lot." Aidou snorted. "I just wanted to check this place out for once. Anyway, see ya—wait!" The two males sent her an inquisitive stare. Miki dug in her pockets and pulled out a small piece of clothing wrapped out. "I stole this from one of my classmates as a prank, but since flower boy over there seems depraved of a female touch, he can have the next best thing." She threw it at his face, and he caught it with his finger expertly.

Unfolding it, his face flushed red in anger and he glared at her. "I DO NOT NEED A BRA—!"

"Happy birthday!" Leaning back, she fell off and landed on the ground safely, dashing back to class with laughter of mirth.

"That girl!" Aidou huffed, pissed.

Kaname held back a chuckle and decided he would let Aidou off this time. Aidou had not violated the rule by leaving the Moon Dorm technically, and he had done nothing to reveal their secrets. The shocking part was that the blonde vampire had been interacting with a human without once, flirting with her to gather information on whether or not she would be a tasty snack. A very good improvement of promoting peace between vampires and humans. Kaname headed back inside the dorm with Aidou trailing behind him, both of their minds preoccupied with the thought of the blonde girl with the dirty sense of humor.

Who was she?


By the end of the day, Miki had managed to secure an entire bag of boxed chocolates with a large amount of five-hundred yen coins filling her money bag. She grinned widely and tied up the end of the cloth, making huge knots. Fiddling with a pocket full of keys, she whistled to herself in amusement and strode to the Archery's equipment room. Picking one labeled for archery, she unlocked the door and went inside to grab a bow; testing out a few arrows, she secured tons that would be able to hold the bag. Practicing shooting with the bag attached and seeing how far it lasted, she settled for them. "This will do for the meantime!" she said happily. Walking out the storage room with the bow, arrows, and bag, she locked it back up and ran back to the dorm before the prefect got all prissy on her. Even if Yuuki was her friend, the girl would not spare her any mercy—especially not after she would find out that Miki had every key to the entire building except the Moon Dorm's entrance, and the Chairman's office. The blonde was a pranker at heart.

It was the same exact time she exited the school to head back to her dorm, were the Night Class walking—very slowly, mind you—to the building. It was Miki's first time seeing them, and her thoughts went along the line of: Wow! No wonder why the fan girls gave me the money! They knew that they had no chance to get the chocolates to them! But they are hot. If it weren't for the fact that all of them look so emo and depressing like Zero, I might have a crush on them. She whistled innocently and put on a bright façade, stepping to the side of the path to walk to avoid them. Her attempts were deemed useless when a certain natural blonde recognized her from the bushes and trees being her background.

"YOU!" Aidou yelled, pointing at her.

"Me?"

"YES! YOU!"

Miki scratched the side of her head with the bow, frowning. "Yeeeeeeeesssss?" She shuffled her feet, her eyebrows furrowing together. "What about it? You want my autograph or something? Err…I don't have a pen with me, but if you want, I can puke in your shoe. A lot of my fans wanted me to do that for them after I won the girl's baseball team school championship." She had no decency at all, the others picked up. If it wasn't for the fact that Aidou was yelling at her, the human wasn't squealing, she carried a weapon around, and she was extremely stupid, they would have thought she was an average human. Now that was something different.

Aidou grew frustrated with her, "You mean you don't remember me? We met this morning! You even gave me this!" He pulled out a pink bra in her face and caused the vampires to back away in revolt to see him holding up something…not decent to present to the public eye. (Public eye being held specifically to the noble vampires that gossiped a lot.) The evident events playing out made Ruka and the rest conclude that Aidou Hanabusa was, indeed, a pervert at heart.

"DUDE, YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND? GOOD FOR YOU!" Miki slapped the side of his arm roughly in a playful manner. She grinned widely in a boyish way. "You know, for a second, I pegged you as the type to never get laid. Like you know," she leaned closer to him with a hand by her mouth whispering, "a virgin. Shh! Don't worry, I'll keep it a secret between you and me! I got your back stranger!" Miki stepped back, her face portraying a person that just told him his parents got hit by a car. Obviously, the vampires, with their acute hearings brought their hands up to their mouth to resist laughing at Aidou's misery.

"But—but…But we met this morning when you came to the Moon Dorm!" Aidou was feeling irritated at the thought of being forgotten in merely a couple of hours. No one forgets Hanabusa Aidou after an argument! Yet here was the ugly creature categorized as a human, standing in front of him stating she did not know him. He would have thought she was lying for more attention, and if she was, it was working damn well! Yet…Her gray eyes looked at him earnestly with sincerity and happiness. "Ugh! I give up! Just take this back!" He shoved the bra into her occupied hand and marched into the school building with annoyance.

She cocked her head at Kaname and heaved her shoulders, face contorting into an odd expression. "What's his problem?"

Kaname shook his head and smiled, "Do not worry about him. He's just very odd."

"Riiiggghhhtttt, and I'm a model. Haha!" Did that just mean that she had disagreed with his statements on being weird? "I think he's more mental." Miki digressed. She pocketed the bra and then straightened her back. "Well then, I shall be going! GOODBYE MY WONDERFUL PEOPLE! I'll see you….Nah, forget it. I don't want to see you guys again. You all look depressing to be around. BYE!" Miki ran off with a giddy laugh.

"I think she was dropped on the head as a child," Shiki stated emotionlessly, after a moment of silence.

Nods of agreements came after his statement.


"Where have you been Miki-chan?"

"Showering like a person with good hygiene, duh!" Miki replied to her annoying roommate, Yakama Ai. The girl was boy obsessed, and it scared the crap out of the athletic girl a lot of times. Her side of the room's wall consisted of posters with the…She squinted her gray eyes and walked closer to a picture of a group. "Hey Ai, who are these people? They seem really familiar."

"They are the Night Class!" Yakama jumped up from her bed and ran over to the poster and stood next to Miki, peppy. She began pointing and describing each one in the picture with enthusiasm that was never displayed in class or at her school competition or pep rally, "The guy with maroon hair and light blue eyes is Shiki Senri! He's so emotionless, but that's what makes him really attractive and cool!"

"Wait a minute, being an emo that could be potentially suicidal is attractive?"

"—And the girl with orange pigtails and cerulean-colored eyes is Touya Rima! She's the female version of Shiki! She's so pretty! By the way, both of them are models and everybody loves them!" Miki scratched the side of her head in confusion. Potentially suicidal teens were popular in the eyes of horny girls was strangely creepy. Yakama continued, "Then there's Akatsuki Kain! He has light orange hair and eyes, and he's really lean and tan and very wild.…" Her mouth began watering.

Miki's eyes almost rolled to the back of her head at Yakama's description.

"There's Seiren, but nobody cares about her."

"Harsh."

"Meh. And the nice looking guy with the blonde hair and green eyes is Ichijou Takuma! He's the most approachable out of everyone! He's very friendly, and talkative! I'm sure you would get along with him because he loves manga!"

"HE SOUNDS AWEOMSE LIKE ME!

Yakama rolled her dark brown eyes, "Sure. And the girl with the strawberry blonde hair and light brown hair is Souen Ruka. BE CAREFUL OF HER. She has a huge hatred for the Day Class! She's such a bitch though, always hogging up Kaname-sama! Humph!"

Miki didn't think she was all that much of a bitch, but for the sake of the conversation, she agreed, "YEAH! WHAT A FUCKING BITCH! I HATE HER SEXY BODY! I MEAN, LOOK AT THOSE LEGS! IT'S NOT SKIN AND BONES AT ALL!" That girl was hot.

"Exactly! Now this guy here, is very special! His name is Aidou Hanabusa and he's a huge flirt! He's sort of….weird, even for my standards. Last Valentine's Day, I remember his eyes turned red in the middle of nowhere." Yakama shivered. "I asked my friends about it, but they told me I was being delusional! I promise you on all of these pictures here that I wasn't! You don't think I'm crazy do you?"

"I believe in nyan cat."

"….Yeah, okay, forget what I told you. Your opinion is useless. So yes, last but not least is the very best leader, Kaname Kuran. ISN'T HE SO DAMN HOT? I just want to unf!"

"PLEASE! SAY NO MORE! "

"Fine! Geeze! And I thought you were the perverted one!" Yakama plopped on the bed the dorm provided. "So what's the huge bag for?"

Miki mimicked Yakama's actions and smiled. "Tomorrow, I'll be making a delivery of chocolates to the Night Class. That bag right there is the girl's chocolates! They paid me to give it to them after I told them of my victorious plan on how they would be sure to receive it!"

"And that victorious plan is?"

"Climb on top of the gates, and shoot the bag using the bow and arrow to make it the doorway! They'll have to take it down! And from what you told me, if Ichiri—"

"Ichijou!"

"—found it, he would be sure to take it! Right?"

"…Surprisingly, you are intelligent!"

"I KNOW!"

Yakama smirked, "Only when money is involved."

"I KNOW."

"Idiot."


"Damn it! Yuuki's already up there!" Miki cursed loudly. A group of females surrounded her (the supporters who paid her) and Yakama rolled her eyes.

"You could be the one up there first if you just came here first instead of changing into that ridiculous outfit of yours!"

"FOR YOUR FUCKING INFORMATION: This outfit goes perfectly well with my awesome bow and arrow! YOU SHOULD BE GLAD I'M EVEN HELPING YOU AT ALL!" Indeed, the Japanese girl had ran back to her room to change into her Kyudo uniform

"YOU MADE ME PAY YOU TO HELP ME BITCH!"

"I AM OFFENDED!"

"GOOD."

On the other side, Aidou rubbed his ears and frowned. "Is it that damn girl again?"

Kain nodded, "Most likely."

"Unmistakably, " the two emotionless couple said.

"She's so loud."

"HEY ASSHOLE! BEND DOWN!" The vampires exchanged looks. "EITHER YOU BEND DOWN, OR I FORCE YOU TOO—THANK YOU FOR COOPERATING WITH ME FOR ONCE!" Miki jumped on Yakama's back and propelled herself upwards, landing safely on the thin wall. "Whoo! That was a close one! I'm so glad I didn't die!"

Yuuki dragged a palm down her face. "Miki-chan what are you doing?" she shrieked, waving her hands wildly. "You shouldn't be doing this! Get down before you get hurt!"

Miki's face turned blank. "Babe."

Kaname raised his eyebrows at this.

"Yes, Miki-chan?" Yuuki sighed.

"I love you." Yuuki's face turned red and she lost balance, falling back. Thankfully, Zero was there to catch her. Miki caught Kaname's glare and gave him a thumbs up. "She's alive bro! Calm your titties down!" Crouching down, she observed the crowd and frowned with distaste. They didn't seem like the type to receive chocolates unless forced to. Now what? Her eyes darted around and she found the friendly blonde with green eyes. "Hey Ichishou—"

"IT'S ICHIJOU FOR GOODNESS SAKE."

"I'll give you my collection of Pandora Hearts if you tell me where your room is!"

Ichijou smiled and called back, "Sorry! I already have that!"

"Death Note?"

"The manga's too dark for me!"

"What about Katekyo Hitman Reborn?"

"Too childish!"

"YOU'RE CHILDISH!" Miki then calmed herself down and then searched his eyes, trying to figure out which manga he would like. Clapping her hands together, she offered one last time, "Fairy Tail?" She gave up reading the series after a while. She got caught up with sports too much to let the manga dominate her life.

"Deal! Third floor, second room to the end of the left." Ichijou clasped his hands together, pleased with himself. Miki tied the bag to the arrow and adjusted it on the bow. She couldn't take a stance without falling off, so she had to take a chance.

"You don't think she'll actually make it right?" Ruka asked, grimacing.

"Humans are very confusing. It all depends on which one. For now, let's just watch until the gates open," Kaname suggested.

Kain was the only one who seemed to use his head at this time, "If she makes it, she'll damage the windows!"

Aidou slapped a hand over his mouth, "Shut up! Don't be a party pooper!"

Got it. Miki released the end of the arrow, and watched it soar through the sky before crashing through the window and stabbing itself into the mahogany door of Ichijou's room.

"….You have got to be kidding me."

"Hey Ichinini, make sure to hand that out okay?" She then turned around, hands on her hips as she stuck her tongue out at Yakama. "TOLD YA I'D DO IT BITCH! HAHA! YOU LOSE!" She started whooping before she lost her balance and fell forward, landing on the solid ground with her butt as a cushion. A shout of pain left her and she cradled her bottom with a whine tugging at her lips. "That hurts!"

Yakama face-palmed, even if the girls who paid her started cheering in delight.

Miki looked up and gulped to see Yuuki looking at her worriedly with Zero glaring at her. She gulped and waved lightly, "Hi?" Scrambling to get up on her knees, she pushed herself to crawl on the ground to make it home. But seeing as how God was not on her side today, Yakama kicked her bottom and stepped on her back at the same time the gates opened. And it was like reading a cliché fanfic because Kaname zoomed straight at her, still wearing the same smile (fake or genuine) on his perfectly "carved" face.

"What is your name, miss?"

Yakama turned beet red and she got off of Miki, helping the taller girl up. She grumbled more foul words, rubbing her arse in the meantime before locking eyes with Kaname. "Yeeeessss?"

"What is your name?" He repeated.

"Watanabe Miki."

"That's such a lovely name. Well then, Watanabe-san, I'll send you the bill to the window you broke."

"I don't speak Japanese."

"You were just speaking Japanese." What a tough guy.

Miki scrunched her face up so hard it looked like she was constipated. Hopping on one foot, and then another, she began doing a ritual dance before clapping in his face. "You are having a dream~. A very good dream because the awesome me is in it~."

"I believe I'm still awake."

She last resorted to grabbing Zero arm and shoving him into Kaname before running away yelling, "YOLO!"

Yes, Watanabe Miki was not a meticulous person.


Me: I have to say, I enjoyed writing a character on crack. Reviews?