A silly piece of crack a friend of mine thought up and I wrote down a couple of years back when we were sharing a small hotel room and its bed during a convention, she's cosplayed Belarus multiple times before and I was Japan once so I guess she kinda dubbed me as Japan because of it, and she just happened to ponder out loud why the hell would Japan and Belarus stay in a shared room and sleep in the same bed, and what would happen if Russia happened to find out. So, yeah, silly cracky ooc:ness ahead, you were warned.

I do not own characters, and only half of the storyline. I hope it's not too messy, and you can tell what's happening and who's saying what...


*Ring... Ring...*

*Klack*

"Hello, this is Belarus speaking."

#Привет, this is Russia! How are you doing, little sister?#

"B-big brother! A-I'm fine, how are you?"

#Very well, thank you! Me and big sister thought it would be a good idea for a reunion for the three of us, it's been quite a while since we've seen each other!#

"O-oh, that sounds wonderful, but my calendar's really booked..."

#Hmm, where are you, then?#

"Me? I am, er, in a hotel abroad, taking care of, uh, international affairs."

#Ah, is that so? Well, when did you think you would be-#

*Creek*

"Tadaima, Belarus-san- Oh, sorry, you are on the phone..."

"..."

#... Belarus, was that Japan just now?#

"Uh..."

#Natalya...#

*Flinch*

"D-да, big brother, t-that was him..."

#And why, exactly, is he in the same hotel room with you?#

"He is, um... W-we are establishing our relationship..."

#... Relationship, да?#

"Political, our purely political relationship!"

#Hmm...#

"There is nothing to worry about big brother, I swear! But I have to go now, let's look that time for reunion la-"

"Excuse me Belarus-san, which side of the bed do you want?"

#...#

*Kol kol kol kol*

"A-I have to go, bye! I'll call you!"

*Klack*

*Toot, toot, toot, toot...*

"Who was it on the phone just now, Belarus-san?"

"That was my brother, Russia..."

"Are you feeling well, Belarus-san? You are looking awfully pale..."

"Да, I'm fine for now, but Japan..."

Belarus stole her eyes from the phone she'd been staring since she ended the phone call and shot a quick glance for the door before looking at Japan.

"... I think we'd better watch our own and each other's backs for a while."

~Meanwhile~

Russia stood still looking at the tooting phone in his hands, low 'kol's still emitting from him and dark aura of suspicion covering him. Ukraine walked into the room, flinching slightly as she saw her younger brother so upset. Even she was a little afraid when he was like this.

*Swallow*

"What is it, Russia? She can't make it? Surely we can find another date-"

*Muttering*

"I'm gonna rip his heart out..."

*Shriek*

"E-excuse me, Ivan?"

"Natalya is currently in a hotel room with Japan."

"Oh? But what for?"

"'Establishing their political relationship', she said."

"Ah, but that's wonderful!"

Russia turned slowly to look at his now beaming sister, having troubles in believing his ears.

"'Wonderful'?"

"Yes, so mature of her, taking care of international issues!"

"..."

"Isn't it just wonderful to think how she's growing up and starting to take care of her politics?"

Ukraine's gaze fell dreamingly into the distance as she walked out of the room, leaving Russia alone. He watched her retreating back with a confused and doubting expression before looking at the phone still in his hand. Big sister was usually a bit too naive and optimistic what came others' 'political relationships', but her words now made also sense. He hesitated a while but finally decided to go with that and placed the phone back to its holder. Maybe it was innocent and purely political - but let Japan make a single funny move and he would be an ex-islandic nation.

~Later that evening~

"What would you rike to try next, Belarus-san?"

"Hm... That one, the white dress with black laces and ribbons. But seriously Japan, these lolita dresses are adorable!"

"Arigatou, I'm happy you rike them."

"With these big brother will finally accept marrying me..."

That night Russia felt a strange, uncomfortably and yet familiar chill go through his spine, and he wasn't all that sure anymore whether he should worry about his younger sister after all.