Set after season 11 episode 18 in the bunker Drowley Crowlean

Part 1

"Ah, to be home, and oh?" Crowley looks around and pouts, "no moose?"

"No...he's out shopping for his special healthy crap" Dean's eyes shift to the ceiling as he sighs.

After a few minutes of silence Crowley clears his throat. "Are you going to actually say something or..."

Dean closes his eyes and sighs again. "I'm trying to think of a way to ask a question and not hear your little poncey British judgement but I guess I'll just deal with the consequences," he finishes opening his eyes.

"Ah, So your finally ready to go steady?" Crowley says winking.

Dean rolls his eyes. "Remember how you located a horseman using a deal?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Do you think it would be possible to, ya know, make a deal and use it to find God?"

Crowley's eyes shift to the ground as he purses his lips in thought. After a moment too long Crowley responds "nope, not possible."

"Really?"

"Really really," Crowley smiles and raises his eyebrows.

"I don't believe you."

"Why would you want to ask me something if you're not going to trust my reply Winchester? I said 'not possible' so the answer's not possible," Crowley responds.

"Why'd you hesitate then?"

Crowley bites his cheek and shrugs. "I was thinking about it."

"Okay, well, what was there to think about, if it's such an easy 'no' surely their's a good solid reason behind it?"

"Yeah well, the reason's it's God so it probably wouldn't fucking work."

"Probably?! What do you mean probably? So it could POSSIBLY work? Is it POSSIBLE or not? Give me a straight answer."

Crowley huffs and rolls his eyes "Okay so, hypothetically speaking, you sell your soul, we locate the big cheese, They come and then what? I mean, yes Their sister probably gets put away for good, Lucifer gets put back in the cage, Cas and the gang probably get their wings and then what? Crowley gets exterminated and the Winchesters party it up with God and everybody lives la- freaking-da."

"Crowley!" Dean groans, "everyone, including you, will die if we don't fucking do something, we have no other cards currently, and who knows, maybe for being good you'll be left alone to be the king of rotten! Besides, even if you survive the darkness, what are you going to do then? The demons don't want you, you need to pick another team to play for and we're looking for someone who's in this game to help us win."

Crowley looks down and huffs, "I hate it when you make sense..."

"The only real downside to this is that it doesn't work and we're back at square one."

"Fine, who'll be making the deal?"

"Uh, me, and we're not telling Sam."

"Ah, to be your mistress once again..."

Dean scowls.

"Alrighty then, pucker up," Crowley steps forward.

Dean steps back and puts a hand up, "wow, wait, we don't actually have to, you know..."

"Are YOU really asking ME that?"

"Can't we, like, hug, or do you have, like, a hot assistant or at least a possess-able hot woman body?"

"You actually talk me into summoning my possible DEMISE to help save the bloody world and yet you're not willing to kiss a demon for less than a fucking second?"

Dean shivers, "Euh," he rolls back his shoulders and winces, "alright alright, just give me a moment jeez."

"Ready when you are sweetheart," Crowley replies grinning.

Dean takes a step into Crowley's personal space and grabs Crowley's shoulders. "If you try anything, ANYTHING, I will VOMIT all over you," Dean declares looking into the King of can't stop grinning's eyes.

"I take it that means you're ready?"

Dean takes a deep breath, grabs Crowley's wrists so there's no chance for picture taking, and swallows the acid burning his throat.

"My, my like it rough do we?"

"I'm only making sure you don't Bobby me," Dean says closing his eyes.

"As comf-"

"Look I'm trying to picture a beautiful woman, which I can't do while you're talking so could you just be quiet for a minute please." Dean takes a deep breath.

Crowley frowns, "You can cage lucifer and kill death but you can't man up and kiss the king of hell?"

Dean opens his eyes, "is this really that fun for you?"

"Are you kidding me? Finally getting to be your literal dirty little secret? This is th-"

Dean releases Crowley and stumbles back as he hears Sam close the door to the bunker. "Wait for me in my room," he whispers to Crowley as Sam descends the stairs.

"Oh la la" Crowley whispers back before vanishing.

"Wait, was that Crowley?" Sam asks stopping at the bottom of the stairs.

"Uh, yeah," Dean waves his hand and then puts it in his pocket "he just wanted to know if we had anything new," clears his throat, "need any help with the groceries?"

"No. I'm good," Sam replies before heading off to the kitchen.

"Alright, I'll just be in my room," Dean shouts after him while walking away.

"Kay."

(SIDE AUTHOR QUESTIONS) *Should I bother continuing this? Also, what's wrong with it?*