Youth is a lie. It is nothing but evil.
People don't realize it, but teenage is the cruelest part of a person's life which marks them forever. They even deceive themselves and others by saying things like "High school is really the best period of your life!" or "If you don't enjoy your high school life you'll regret it once you're older!" and although it might seem like I jumped from one subject to the other, the truth is that you spend most of your youth trapped in this education-focused prison called high school, forced to attend at ungodly times to hear some old man speak as if they had figured out the world because he knows how to derivate equations that are many levels superior to what he's teaching us…
The truth lies elsewhere and as people continue to believe that no matter how much they fail or how much and deep they screw up they'll be able to shrug it off just because they are young. Those moments will most likely become nothing but the proof of their youth, the experimenting of their arriving adulthood, a point in which they are neither children nor grown-ups… They are at that stage in which all the evils of the world come from outside, never the inside as they hurt themselves and others without a care in the world. After all, one's short comings are the proof of their teenage years but others' are simply failures and mistakes, nothing more.
For example, these idiots I have in front of me.
"I tell you these chicks are crazy! You understand that, right?! C'mon man give us a hand in here!" A guy wearing glasses was energetically explaining to me why girls attacking him and his friends after being caught peeking while said girls change clothes is totally wrong and nasty and not a normal reaction given they practice a sport like kendo, in which violence is the whole point. Sports-like of course.
"Yeah! It should have been fine to just yell and leave with a warning, right?!" A… Bald? Guy seconded the first. Both were very, very bruised and were speaking a little too clearly for the way their faces apparently tanked most of the blows from the girls' wood swords.
"…You really are lucky Shitori-kaichou is not around." If Kaichou were here in my place what would she say? Well, what would any authority do in this situation? These hormone-filled guys are a potential threat to society. Is this not how rapists come to be? Well, society is at fault too, despite being really good at shunning your regular boy into insolation it doesn't seem to bother doing the same for these potential rapists. Society, this is all your fault "This is not the first time, Motohama, Matsuda. If it weren't me you'd have been expelled by now, you know?"
"…Yes."
"I'm sorry."
"And you-" There as a third person in there. Behind the other two perverts a brown haired guy who was half crying but overall almost completely unscratched by the name of Hyoudou Issei was the only one standing as I was sitting on Kaichou's desk to look more in charge "-Hyoudou, you don't look like you're repenting." C'mon, do your part so we can call it a day. I had no choice but to join Kaichou in helping with the Student Council and every minute I spend in this damn office working is a minute I didn't spend doing nothing.
"But… It's not fair! I didn't get to see anything! Why did they hit me too?!" Hmmm? Isn't the "And it's all your fault!" missing? You aren't going to blame either of them for this? Now that's new to me. Anyone else would have sold his friends in order to get out with his reputation clean of this situation.
Weird.
Gross.
Of course since it's not the first time this guy is in front of me I already knew he wouldn't do such a thing. I know that what he needs is a little push too.
"Well, innocents pay for sinners when they get involved after all." Yup, even I was involved once just because I was nearby when these guys were caught. They probably don't remember it but now the female tennis club hates me for "being a pervert". I bet if it had been a pretty boy like, I don't know, Kiba their reaction would have been totally different.
"No, I did want to peek. It's just unfair that I got hit without seeing a thing." He stopped moaning immediately and replied with a completely straight face.
"…" Now that I think about it, isn't castrating rapists a thing in some countries? Would it be okay to just kick them in the balls and be done with this?
I did… Not put into actions my thoughts.
"It'd be totally fine to call the cops on you for this." Just show me you repent so I can tell you to apologize to the girls dammit! Vita-chan is waiting for me at home! Oh, wait. We're still at school time. My bad, tehee~.
"…Yes." There, finally.
"Okay, go and apologize to the kendo girls. You are dismissed." Working is so energy-consuming, I guess I'll have to take a long and well deserved nap. The teachers probably won't mind.
"Thanks a bunch man!" Said the bald pervert while opening the door.
"I knew you'd understand." The glasses idiot grinned at me while leaving "You're totally a bro!" Oi! I'm not a "bro"! You want to get punished so badly?!
"See you later Hikigaya." The brown haired one raised his hand to me before closing the door behind him "We owe you one."
"Yeah, yeah. Get out of my face already." With a tired sigh I dropped myself on the chair behind the desk of Kaichou's office. It did not weight in my mind that I left such deviants free with such a half-assed scolding.
Although today was peaceful Kuoh Academy is a high tier high school that gathers many people from all around Japan, which in turn makes troubles be spawned quite easily. For one reason or another its prestige is on the level of national academies despite being a school facility from a town lost in the middle of nowhere. Surrounded by forest it is a small city that definitively would be overlooked on a map quite easily.
Of course, that only means it's the perfect hideout for someone like Kaichou and me.
Imagine the following: A shadow dances in the night, bathed by the moonlight and guarded by the darkness the sun has left with its departure. A human-looking creature with incredible grace and agility stalks at another creature far more bizarre and horrible which resembles a chimeric nightmare born out of an artist's restless mind. Despite this they are as similar to each other as a person from America would be to someone of Europe. They both are devils, just like Kaichou and I, but one has decided to lose itself to its desires and has discarded, or rather lost, its human-like form. A stray devil.
I remember that time, when Kaichou explained to me the duties of us devils of exterminating our stray counterpart to ensure we are not discovered. I had seen her [Queen] slay the beast almost effortlessly.
Why was I being explained such a basic concept? Well, because I wasn't a devil from the beginning. I was reincarnated into one by Shitori Souna-kaichou into one after I died on my first day of high school after being ran over by a car. Yes, not the best way to go nor the best way to return either. Sun sickness is probably the worst feeling ever and those first days as a devil were hell worse than anything I've ever felt.
And speaking of the devil. The girl I was thinking about opened the door to enter the room. Although her raven black hair was cut short and would seem quite common for the people of Japan, it felt anything but common; her hair had an unreal shine to it, looking as silky as that of an actress or a model. Bright violet eyes that conveyed serenity and cleverness were given even more shine by the pair of glasses adorning her face with the only purpose of concealing her identity. Her slender figure was devoid of any unnecessary fat, and while it is by no means as well rounded as Gremory's, the stylish form of her body made up for it more than enough.
The only thing ruining her image being the ugly school uniform she wears.
Real name Sona Sitri, next heiress of the house of Sitri of the 72 Pillas of the Underworld and the little sister of one of the current four Demon Lords ruling over devilkind. If I hadn't been shown any of these things I'd have thought it was part of the script of a very chuuni light novel.
"What are you doing here? Don't you have work to do?" Ah, yes. The [King] of our peerage is as sweet as always.
"…No? I finished the business with the Pervert Trio." I informed her as she walked toward her chair. I didn't get up immediately, after all it wasn't too long since I sat there.
"Then go to class Hikigaya." She sighed at me with an expression of disbelief painted all over her face "Hiratsuka-sensei told me you fell asleep during her hour today, if you're have time to slack like that then perhaps I should give your some other duties. The Student Council is busy after all."
"…I'm heading to class now." Well, that's a high-class devil for you. Although she appears composed and serious the girl before me is actually an Ojou-sama. I better not forget that since she can most likely kick my ass as easily as Hiratsuka-sensei can.
"Indeed you are." Kaichou nodded her head with a serious expression. Her words are harsh but that's just how she is, too blunt for her own good. In other words impeccable social skill to reduce dumb people into sobbing messes "I'd like to see a better score in math for the next tests."
"Hold on. Are you my mom? Why do I have to present good scores to you?" Seriously woman, don't take mum's job so carelessly! Well, she does resemble her a bit.
"I don't want to have servants with low academic skills. There's an image we have to maintain." Although I raised a complaint against my master, she took my words in stride and replied. This has become a habit already I don't even remember if she minded at first.
"Scores are a social constructs, Kaichou. The number of correct answers in a quiz doesn't show how intelligent you are." Of course, that just means I could be as disrespectful as I would be with anyone else.
"A score doesn't show your level of intelligence, right. Tests are designed to deliver a score which reflects on how much you know about a subject." Going by the pointed look she was giving me and her hands being on her waist it feels like she thinks she's educating me.
"It's pointless if you cheat though." Too bad, I'm vaccinated against that kind of forced education.
"That's why it doesn't show your level of intelligence. It reflects on how ill prepared you are to effectively complete a given task. Be it by cheating, studying or any other mean the higher your scores the better prepared you were for the task at hand. That's about it, right. But we're not looking at the morals of exams but at your academic life. Kuoh Academy is a great school Hikigaya, if your scores are higher, with the backup of the school you finished your studies in… I imagine entering any college you want is possible." Well, this turned into a lecture as expected. Kaichou has become really good at giving those "Take school seriously Hikigaya. Human life is built around education, since you're less than interested in joining Devil society you should at least stick to Human one."
"Not like human society likes me that much anyway…"
"If you search for excuses you won't find solutions, you'll only find excuses." Kind of redundant but I get the point.
"It's not excuses though? I can prove you that social structures are at fault for many modern problems, without going too far in this very school bullying runs rampant in our corridors, and what do teachers do? Turn a blind eye at best and promote it at worst. Don't you think we should be looking at this faulty social structure before trying to fix individuals that were broken by this very system?"
"You must have practiced that little speech of yours a lot since it almost made sense." To her credit, Kaichou actually managed to look surprised.
"Well, for someone who was raised with a completely different common sense it would be weird if it didn't seem like that."
"Indeed, nowhere in the Underworld would you find someone who uses such philosophically rotten arguments just to avoid working."
"Are they any less valid?"
"You're just trying to change the subject. To begin with it's not really a choice. Attend to your classes properly or work at the Student Council, those are the only two pots you can feed from."
"There's never only two options, Kaichou. You don't look this narrow-minded."
"Well, my common sense is that people that can't do anything are trash and they must be shunned and/or exterminated but since we're in the human world I'd rather stick to human common sense. Would you like to be the exception?"
"You don't have to go that far for me Kaichou."
"Hikigaya…" An aura of darkness was released from Kaichou. My master seems to think showing bloodlust when everything else failed is a viable strategy. I mean, it usually works with me but I digress, it shouldn't be considered a strategy at all.
Needless to say, seeing the usually strict yet reasonable Kaichou this pissed off is really scary no matter how many times I see it.
"Okay! Okay! I'll pay attention to my teachers! Just dissolve that spell!" Kaichou's specialty is water magic. That is to say one of the most versatile and dangerous type of magic there is. Added to her ability to shape and control it like a water bender, well, even if she doesn't use a high-tier spell what comes out of her magic circles is painful at the very least.
Of course, it wouldn't be the first time I was hit with a whip made out of water but that's beside the point.
"I see you're becoming wise Hikigaya." Kaichou's stony voice told me I should use my words carefully.
"Cunning is one of my 108 skills after all." A sigh escaped my lungs when she finally dispersed her magic circle.
"If it wasn't you'd be dead by now." Kaichou nodded clinically "If you were half as diligent in your studies as you are in your training you'd be ranked among the honor students."
"Failing a test won't get me killed though." The fantasy-like experience of firing spells and fighting stray devils is most likely what any healthy boy would like to live. Even I can't help but feel excited about magic and stuff… That is, until it begins feel mundane. Fortunately there are a bunch of things that want to kill us out there, so the feeling remains fresh.
"Speaking of getting killed-" If I didn't know Kaichou I'd have thought that sentence was either mockery or irony. It was neither of them "-I heard there were problems with Rias' Bishop. Was it who I'm thinking it was?"
A deep sigh gave out the answer before I even began to speak.
"Yes."
Sona-kaichou answered my sigh with her own.
"What happened?"
"She dissolved his sealing and stuffed the room with garlic."
"Why… Never mind. Was it solved?"
"Yes."
"Good."
One day we'll have to deal with that meddlesome woman. Kaichou and are fully aware but… Let's leave it for some other day.
"It's probably nothing of my business, but perhaps Kaichou should get a new [Queen]. I really can't deal with everything on my own."
"Do you think I'd be able to find someone who could replace Tsubaki?" Huh?
"I'm not saying anything like that." Woah, woah. Easy there, we're at a truce in here. Please let's not step in such delicate subjects "It's just a pain in the ass to deal with work I'm not supposed to."
Kaichou didn't seem that convinced though.
"I'm a loner, the least people the better." I added while shrugging.
"…I have some candidates." Suddenly, the air in my lungs was released and my breathing continued. I didn't notice for how long I held it "More importantly, what do you think of Hyoudou?"
Hyoudou, huh? After Gremory took an interest on the guy it seems Kaichou has grown aware of him as well.
"What do you mean?" Honestly, there's not much to him worth noting. He has below average grades, average looks and an average inheritance. True, he might be a troublemaker but he's not any kind of punk who goes out of his way to cause troubles for others. At the very least he only causes troubles to himself and to girls from time to time.
"So you haven't felt anything coming from him." Coming to her own conclusion she nodded to herself and sighed "It's very faint, but there's something in the boy without doubt. Rias found out first but it might as well be worth it to keep an eye on him."
That tone… Although she's beating around the bush I know what she means.
"I'm kind of busy Kaichou." My words released a wicked smirk on her face… "I'm about to go back to classes… And I'm eagerly looking forward for cram school as well." Could it be…? Did I just dig my own grave…?
No! What a blunder! Turn back in time Hachiman! The Eye of Agamotto is no more?! No way!
"Hooooh… Are you, now?" If I deny it I'll be put to work in following a guy who spends his day imagining what would his life be if he was the main character of a hentai anime or a doujin; while in the other I'll be put to study until I die either of boredom or exhaustion.
Yep, my master is a devil alright.
And also, just like that, I became Hyoudou's stalker.
…Not.
I tried to come up with various excuses but all were shot down by the crazy prepared Kaichou. Perhaps I was capable of escaping responsibilities in the past, but as Kaichou left her punkdere antics behind she became more and more proficient in seeing through my bullshit.
Well, it's fine. It'd be more troublesome if Hyoudou were to be a riajuu and hanged out with a lot of people and went many places. For the first time I found myself thanking he spends his time hanging around with the other two perverts watching porn in one of their houses… I don't know if that's friendship but just for the record: That's kind of gross.
But aside from those few details my mission was very simple. I simply teleported from place to place to check on him if he was still at his friend's house or if he was back at his already. One might think I'm slacking off, but I can guarantee that nothing happened to him while under my watch. I'm truly such a remarkable fellow.
So why…? No, how…?
How did he end up going out with a fallen angel girl?!
A/N
If you had followed this story before August 10th of 2018 and don't know what's going on then let me tell you: This is the reupload of the original My Second Life as A Devil Is Wronger Than I Could Have Expected. As I said before, I was inspired to write this story by Sage of Eye's My Trans-dimensional, Overpowered Protagonist, Harem Comedy is Wrong, As Expected. If you haven't read it, you really should. Also...
Disclaimer: My Second Life As A Devil Is Wronger Than I Expected is a fanon story and I don't own either High School DXD nor My Teen Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As I Expected. Please support the official release.
