This is my first Clexa fic (not my last I suppose). Hope you all enjoy it even if it's a little angsty at first. If you feel like it leave a comment and tell me what you think, I promise to reply :D


Clarke couldn't quite believe this was the fifth anniversary celebration of the end of the war; a war that she – along with some help- ended.

Here seated on the throne specially made for her with pieces of what was left of Mount Weather (a gift from the grounders she didn't have the heart to reject) she contemplates about everything that happened and how close but distant it seems. She's relishing in the peacefulness that surrounds the ground and her people; peacefulness she always fought for, she and… Lexa.

It doesn't matter how much time has passed by, the simple mention of the name of her love brings back a terrible sense of loss, pain and regret. How Clarke wishes Lexa could be here sharing this moment by her side, she would've been so proud.

Instead by her side is Bellamy whom she inevitably got together with. It wasn't like she threw herself into his arms, it's not like it was easy either; it took a couple of years, tears and forgiveness. And if she was completely honest with herself, she believed he could someway understand all her pain, guilt and the weight on her shoulders; both had done terrible things and getting together was a way to control their demons and console each other.

Her reveries were interrupted by a squeeze on her hand, the one Bellamy was holding. He's sitting by her side so she turns to face him; he smiles and quietly asks if she's alright. Clarke smiles back slightly and tells him not to worry.

She looks stunning in a dress that looks similar to the one she wore the day she bowed to Lexa and joined the coalition; her blonde hair is braided and she also sports black paint on her eyes which only serves to accentuate the blue in them, making her look intimidating. Clarke made a habit of using this particular grounder attire whenever they have something to celebrate.

On one occasion Bellamy took the opportunity to ask her why she keeps wearing those clothes, as they are at peace; the grounders had accepted her as their leader and she has nothing more to prove.

"Because I'm Wanheda" Clarke had replied firmly "it may not mean anything to us but to them it is a symbol of strength and security and that's how I want it to remain." She purposely omits the part where being Wanheda makes her feel closer to Lexa.

After a while Clarke excuses herself to wander alone in the woods, as she does every year at this time. She's thankful no one asks why she does it as everyone already knows the reason.

Clarke walks the familiar grounds enjoying the nature and smelling the earthy musk in the air; everything reminds her of Lexa. The memory that always stands out in her mind is the first and only time they made love; that's an experience she remembers vividly and she's grateful for it after all these years.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Clarke moans as she contorts with pleasure; straddling Lexa and riding the fingers deep inside of her. Panted words of encouragement in trigedasleng are enough to send her into her fourth orgasm of the day. She lets her body fall onto the bed completely spent.

"Oh wow" Clarke's voice comes off still breathless.

"Jok" Lexa follows suit joining her among the sheets, letting out in a similar state of weariness "are all skaikru women this insatiable?"

Clarke chuckles and turns her body so she's on her side "no, only me." She runs her hand over Lexa's abdomen "and only for you."

It's Lexa's turn to chuckle. She twists in the bed so she replicates Clarke's position. When they are face to face she retorts "And are all skaikru women this versed with sweet words?"

This time Clarke offers a teasing grin "again; no, only me" she leans and pecks Lexa's lips "and…"

"Only for me" Lexa replies rolling her eyes.

They giggle together and hold hands.

A minute later Clarke sighs "I wish we could stay like this forever" she comments with melancholy.

Lexa bores her eyes into Clarke's, pensively for a second and then remarks "We will, one day" she sounds hopeful.

For now, Clarke lets Lexa's hope to consume her before she can get emotional.

"OK" she moves to straddle Lexa once again "what was that you were saying about me being insatiable?"

Lexa groans and pushes her body up to meet Clarke's lips in a hungry kiss.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Clarke stops near a large tree and inhales, her throat starts to constrict. She stretches her arm and leans on the trunk for support; sobs erupting from deep within her.

"Why did you leave me?" Clarke asks as her voice wavers "why are you not here with me witnessing your work, your effort" her tears begin rolling down her cheeks "I miss you so much." She looks up at the sky "I don't know if I can make it another day without you Lexa" she lowers her gaze and cries freely.

Eventually when her sobs have subsided, Clarke starts composing herself, ready to go back when suddenly she feels something cold piercing her back. She looks down the front of herself in time to see a blade being removed from her body. She instinctively places her hand on the now bleeding wound.

"You really thought I was just gonna let you wander around happily like the hero? You thought I was gonna forget what you did to my family, my people? Huh?! You stupid girl! I've waited patiently for this day to come, to give you what you deserve. You deserve to die!"

Clarke fixes her eyes on the face of her attacker who happens to be none other than Emerson.

He stands now next to her; eyes bulging, nostrils flaring. He holds the knife that is covered with her blood like a trophy, a maniac smirk on his lips.

Still clutching her wound, Clarke blinks rapidly taking a deep breath. Many emotions seem to grace her features in a matter of seconds until recognition settles in. Her lips start to curl up in a smile of pure bliss.

"Wh-Why are you smiling?" Emerson inquires frantically "why the hell are you smiling?!" he demands with desperation and confusion in his voice.

"Thank you" Clarke offers with an expression of relief before falling to the ground.

The man takes a step back glaring at her in awe, opening his mouth but finding no words to express.

"CLARKE!" Abby's voice resonates with an echo in the distance.

It doesn't take long for a whole assembly of people to run behind the woman.

Abby kneels next to her daughter and turns her onto her back, now able to see the amount of blood below Clarke "Oh my God!" She panics, a trembling hand covering her mouth.

At that moment Bellamy arrives, watching in horror the scene displayed in front of his eyes. He takes in the presence of Emerson and the object he's still holding "you!" He yells shaking with rage and pounces on the man, pointing a gun to his head.

"No!" Clarke manages to state loudly so the others could hear "Jus no drein jus daun."

Her words sound very determined, like an order which is enough to stop Bellamy from retaliating and killing Emerson; instead he –with barely contained fury and a clenched jaw- signals for the guards to take him into custody. He crouches next to Clarke after that.

"shh" Abby caresses the face of her daughter "don't speak." She takes a deep breath and starts talking in full doctor mode "OK, now we need to stop the bleeding as much as we can and then we can transport you to…"

"mom."

"…the medical facility and there we…"

"mom stop" Clarke lets out getting Abby's attention.

The woman and Bellamy look at her in confusion.

Clarke swallows; speaking softly but certain "Ai gonplei ste odon"

"No!" Abby shakes her head in denial, but the tears forming in her eyes confirm she already knows the statement to be true.

"Don't say that." Bellamy says stubbornly, grasping her hand "Abby we are wasting time let's move her to…"

"Hey" Clarke squeezes Bellamy's hand "don't." She shakes her head weakly, staring at him with sorrow and regret "I'm so sorry."

Bellamy's lips begin to tremble.

They both know her "sorry" is not about her dying; but an apology for not loving him the way he would've wanted her to.

Little by little familiar faces gather around Clarke letting out gasps or words of disbelief. She observes them all feeling blessed to be surrounded by people who loved her in her lasts moments.

Suddenly everything becomes blurry and the sounds are muted.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

A brilliant light envelopes Clarke forcing her to close her eyes; when she opens them she's standing in a place she doesn't recognize, but it looks beautiful and serene. Before she can ask any questions regarding her mysterious location, Clarke makes out a silhouette approaching her.

"wh…" words get stuck in Clarke's throat as she identifies the person now standing a few steps away from her.

"Hello, Klark; I've been expecting you." The brunette woman greets with a large grin on her lips.

"Lexa!" Clarke is overcome with joy at the vision of the woman who never left her heart and mind. She is about to run to Lexa when she feels a tug in her chest; heavy and painful. After brief consideration she mutters timidly "Uh… I would like to… say goodbye first."

Lexa finds adorable the way Clarke is cringing; but quickly she gives a more formal stand as she replies "As you wish, Wanheda."

Clarke chuckles and rolls her eyes.

Wanheda, commander of death.

The mere thought of her being able to actually command death at her will seems absurd; but it does give her an idea.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Like if she has been summoned Clarke opens her eyes again and she's back on the ground; the pain and agony – she didn't feel while with Lexa - returning to her body. She then remembers why she came back.

"Octavia." She calls, weaker than earlier.

"Here." Her friend is instantly kneeling at her side.

"Octavia …" Clarke coughs letting go of Bellamy's hand to take Octavia's "… you will carry the power of Wanheda after I'm gone."

It's almost imperceptible, but Clarke notices the surprise on the girl's face.

Just like herself, Octavia doesn't really believe in the spiritual part of the grounder's traditions but she respects them and she's pretty sure Octavia understood what she was trying to do. With many grounders witnessing the symbolic power transition Octavia will gain the respect, Clarke always considered, her friend deserves.

"Sha Wanheda." The warrior bows her head solemnly. When she looks up and makes eye contact with Clarke, she wills herself to hold back her tears as she moves away.

Now Clarke focuses her attention on her mother; getting emotional in that same instant.

"I love you mommy" Clarke mumbles with tremendous ache in her heart.

"I love you too, my baby." Abby chokes on her tears leaning to kiss her daughter's forehead, caressing her hair tenderly.

Bellamy cries while giving Clarke's hand a kiss.

Clarke takes one look around, memorizing everyone's faces and all of the things she experienced with them; hoping they always remember her with affection.

She soon feels a cold shiver down her spine and has difficulty breathing. Clarke knows she doesn't have much time and before she loses the capacity, she takes a deep last breath and utters with positivity.

"May we meet again"

With that, life leaves Clarke's body.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

In a gasp, Clarke finds herself back in the serene place; any pain or negative thoughts completely removed from her being. She doesn't waste any time and as soon as she spots Lexa she runs into her arms.

Lexa, who was already expecting her with open arms, holds Clarke tightly to her body.

Both marvel at the fact that they are actually embracing, feeling the body of the other, the smell of the other; together at last.

"I've missed you; I missed you so much" Clarke whispers in Lexa's ear unable to contain her delight.

"I've missed you too" Lexa sighs with relief.

When they pull apart Clarke stares into green eyes lost for a second before leaning in for a long awaited kiss.

Just like she remembers, Lexa's lips still have the ability – and skill- to drown her in a spiral of emotions that threaten to consume her completely; and she will happily let them if it's with Lexa by her side.

"ai hod yu in, Klark kom Skaikru" Lexa mumbles in Clarke's lips.

"And I love you Lexa kom trikru" Clarke replies leaning her forehead onto Lexa's.

Once she feels satiated with the reality of their reunion, Clarke leans back with a brow lifted and questions "what now?"

Lexa smirks with a glint in her eyes taking both of Clarke's hands in hers "now we stay together forever and eternity."

Clarke beams in anticipation "I like the sound of that."

"OK then, let's begin" Lexa beckons with her head, as she let's go of one of Clarke's hands and with the other encourages her to start walking.

"Where are we?" Clarke asks as she moves along with Lexa.

"The city of light" comes Lexa's answer accompanied by a wink "the real one."

And like that, with their hands and souls intertwined they march to their happiness disappearing among the glistening lights of infinity.