Pairings: Nozomi/Eli, Eli/Maki/Nozomi friendship, Toujou family feels and a little Nico/Maki if you squint real hard.

Author's note: I'm sorry. I got sick yesterday ._. so I'm just posting this today, sorry. There's some notes in the end so… idk im still sick.

The title makes no sense, sorry.

Goodluck


Patients will be patients.

They come, they go.

It's painful.

It's painful to see their families cry and beg for the Gods to save them.

It's painful to see them screaming in pain.

It's painful to see that they've lose hope.

It's painful...to hear the sound of heart beat monitor drop and become the most awful sound ever...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

Line Break

Room 190

Eli sighed. She held the tray of food tightly as she prepared herself to knock. She took a deep breath and finally knocked.

"Toujou-san, here's your food." she called out and reached for the doorknob with her hand and balanced the tray on her other.

"Don't y-you try and o-open that d-door!" came a shrill but hoarse voice from the other side of the door that stopped her from opening it.

"But Toujou-san, you will need your food to take the antibiotics later." Eli said and sighed once again, showing how tired she is on doing this thing.

"I d-don't care!" a pause, "I don't n-need any of those! I'm g-going to d-"

"Nozomi." A slightly higher voice called. Eli took a bow to the doctor, who is now in front of the door of the troublesome patient. "It's your dinner time right? Why are you not cooperating again?"

"Ma...ki-chan?" a pause, "I don't want to eat! Just tend to your other patients will you?"

Maki sighed, "If I'll give you yakiniku, would you eat?" the redhead offered as she looked for a cash in her pockets.

"Ya...kiniku!? R-really!?"

"Yes." Maki answered then turned to the nurse and gave a bill, "Eli, as you heard, can you buy her a yakiniku in the nearest food stall outside?"

"But isn't that-"

"It's fine. Eli. It's fine." Maki said as she turned around and walked away.

Eli sighed again. Her face was a mix of irritation and anger for her troublesome patient.

'What a spoiled brat.'

Line break

Maki put a hand in her forehead and massaged it. Maki groaned as she read the two folders in her table. This is completely normal for a hospital but for her two friends to have an incurable disease? Is she always going to lose everyone she loves? What's next? Her not so girlfriend will got hit by a truck and have amnesia?

Maki thought about her last question deeply and firmly stated,

"Nope. Nope. Never. That idiot knows I don't like cliché craps."

Line break

Knock, knock. "Toujou-san, can I come in?" Eli tiredly called out. No answer. She turned the doorknob and got inside.

She saw the purple haired patient sleeping peacefully in the hospital bed. 'At least when she's sleeping she looks like an innocent angel.' Realizing what she had said, her face instantly glowed bright red. Eli shook her head and tried to focus.

"Toujou-san..." Eli whispered and lightly shaking the patient's body to wake her up,

"Toujou-san..!"

A groan was heard and the patient's hand weakly slapped the hand of Eli, "Staphit" the patient grumbled

Slowly getting pissed off, Eli placed the plate of yakiniku in the bedside table and shook the patient more wildly, "Touuujoouuu-san! I've already brought you your yakiniku!"

The word 'yakiniku' got the patient back to her sense, she slowly sat up and panted like it's a difficult task. "Y-yakiniku?!" she said, and looked directly at the nurse's blue eyes.

Eli was very surprised when the sleeping patient was now directly in front of her with emerald eyes that was sparkling with enthusiasm and staring right through her soul. After a few seconds, Eli was the one who choose to break the eye contact and said, "A-ah yes, here it is." she grabbed the plate full of meat and gave it to the hungry patient.

The patient was feeling more than delighted. After 6 months of eating hospital food, she was finally given permission to eat the most delicious food in front of her. Eyes sparkling with happiness she turned to the silent nurse, "Thank you very much!"

Eli was once again shocked at the patient. These past few months, the patient only gave her scowls and angry glares. But now, for the first time in forever, Eli saw the most beautiful smile she'd seen. Gulping, Eli regained her composure, "Y-you're welcome." she cleared her throat, "After that you'll going to be taking your antibiotics, okay?"

The patient smiled cheekily, "Yup! Thanks for the food," she said as she started to eat.

Line Break

Later that night, Nozomi was told to sleep by the blonde nurse after giving the antibiotics. Needless to say, she didn't go to sleep. She stared at the ceiling thinking deeply about her life.

"I'm sorry, but your daughter have COPD," the doctor told Nozomi's parents.

"COPD? What does that mean?" Nozomi's father asked in a firm voice but his eyes expressed how scared he is.

"Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease or COPD is a slowly progressive obstruction of airflow into or out of the lungs. Her lung function test showed that her lung capacity is very low." the doctor explained and looked at his folders, "Having a low lung capacity is very dangerous, and Nozomi-san's CT scans show that her alveoli were destroyed and she is lacking of alpha-1 antitrypsin," a short pause as he look at Nozomi's parents, "Is anyone from your family had this deficiency before?"

A gasp was heard from Nozomi's mother, "Grandma..." she said as she covered her eyes, "That explains it! The shortness in breath! The wheezing! Oh Nozomi!" she cried into Nozomi's father's chest not before taking a look at Nozomi's confused figure.

Nozomi was 14 then, she didn't quite understand what they are talking about. She didn't understand why her mother was crying in to her father's arms,

When she got 17, after graduating high school, she was told to stay in their home. She won't be able go to college.

At her 20, she collapsed in her bed. She can't breathe to the point where she collapsed. She was rushed into the hospital immediately. She was told to stay there until she can breathe normally again. It was the first time she felt so weak. So useless. Her parents were crying again. And once again, she can only look.

After a 1 week stay in the hospital, Nozomi was advised to try and walk. Well, she tried but she can't even stand by herself. At that moment, her tears finally broke out and fell. There's nothing she can do. She's now useless.

Even so, Nozomi wanted to go home. She always stayed in her room. Crying herself to sleep. Although every night, when she was still in her room, she will hear shouting voices that belonged to her mother and father, arguing about something on her condition. She tried her best to fall asleep so she can't hear them.

But still, one night, she heard her mother say, "I'm going out of the country to make money for her recovery,"

"If you're going, then I'm going too!" her father retorted,

Nozomi's eyes widen, she tried to move her body to the wheelchair so she can go outside but the tears in her eyes blocked her eyesight. So she fell to the floor with a loud thump. Catching her breath and tears still falling in her eyes, footsteps were heard and her door opened wildly, "Nozomi!? What happened?!" Her parents rushes in to help her get up in her bed,

Still bawling her eyes out, she tried to say, "You…'re...not...go...ing...to...l-le...av..e...m-me...ri-ri..ght?"

Her parent's look were torn, "We're sorry Nozomi, but it's for your own good..." said her father and hugged her.

Her phone rang.

It snapped Nozomi out in her thoughts, wiping the stray tears in her eyes; she reached out to the bedside table to get her phone. She smiled as she saw who was calling. She quickly tapped the accept button and placed the phone in her ear.

"Hello, Mom."

"Oh... Hello too sweetie, I want to talk to you more but this call needed to be fast..."

"Okay..?" Nozomi said hesitantly,

"Uhm.. Your father and I can't go there next week and the week after... I'm sorry baby, but our schedules were tightly packed, I promise we'll go back when we finally have the time..."

"Oh... I understand, Mom." "

I'm really sorry baby.. I love you."

"Love you too, Mom." Nozomi sighed.

If she wasn't on this hospital then her parents won't need to go to other places. If she wasn't having this stupid disease then her parents won't be overworking themselves to earn money. If she...die...then they won't do all of these right? They won't be spending money on her. They won't get tired. They won't be stressed out. They can just relax because she's not a problem anymore...

These thoughts push her to do it.

The hold on the bedside table like her life depended on it as she tried to stand up. Though her knees were shaking so hard and they're becoming wobbly, she stood. 'All thanks to the therapy, I guess' she thought, 'Here comes the hardest part'. She move her feet to the direction of the wheelchair. Breathing heavily as she was now clutching the wall, she moved her other feet. Her breathing was becoming heavier and heavier every step she takes and finally she can feel her knees giving out. And as it did, she fell to the ground. Thankfully, she immediately used her hands as support. She was just inches near to the wheelchair, and she grabbed it then tried to sit on it.

Catching her breath as she sat, she held the wheels on both sides and began to move towards her room's door. Breathing heavily, she opened her door and look on both sides to see if there's a nurse or doctor lingering around. When she saw that there is none, she quietly closed her door and pulled her wheels forward until she was at the stairs.

She was panting hard. She looked down the stairs. 'Perfect' she thought. Nozomi closed her eyes, the thought of her parents smiling flashed in to her mind. 'I need to do it...I'm useless anyways.'

'This is fine'

As tears fell out of her eyes, her hands gripping the wheels tightly,she whispered,

'I'm scared'

"TOUJOU-SAN!" A shout was heard,

Suddenly, her wheelchair spun 180 degrees, facing the big blue eyes of the blonde nurse that was reflecting fear and worry. 'wait, worry?'

"What are you doing out here?! How did you get into that!? It's dangerous for you!" the nurse scolded.

Nozomi was angry. Why is she meddling with my life?

"I want to die." Nozomi stated.

Eli's anger was gone, her eyes widen with shock when she heard that statement from her patient, 'No...don't'

"I'm going to die anyways." Nozomi bluntly stated as her tears fell,

Eli's knees gave in. She kneeled down in front of Nozomi's wheelchair and hugged Nozomi's waist. With tears coming out from her eyes she said, "Y-you...are special."

"I..." Eli started, 'I want to see your smile again' she thought but didn't say it,"You shouldn't give up! Y-Your parents badly want to see you live normally again!"

"That's why I don't want to live!" Nozomi retorted, clutching the shoulders of Eli, "I want to see them happy again..." she cried.

"T-They are!" Eli said, "Whenever they visit you... I can see them...They're happy to see you... Relieve that you're still alive! They love you! Can't that be just the reason for you to live!?"

Nozomi bit her lip, "...I..."

"You're special, Nozomi. Very special." Eli said as she stood up and wiped her tears. Then she pulled the wheelchair of Nozomi and pushed her back to her room.

As Nozomi laid in her bed, "...I'm... sorry." she muttered quietly,

Eli smiled at her warmly, "It's fine," she said as she fixed the blanket and covered her patient with it, "J-just don't do it again, okay?" she added, "I'll be worried" she muttered the last part quietly,

"What did you say?" Nozomi asked,

"Uhm! I said your parents will be worried." Eli said as blood rushed to her face.

"Oh..." Nozomi mumbled,

"Erm, Good night, Toujou-san" Eli said when she got to the door,

"Nozomi." Eli's eyes widen, "You...called me Nozomi earlier...right?" Nozomi said as she looked away from Eli with a tinge of red in her cheeks.

Eli knew that her face is red too, "T-then... you can call me Eli..." she mentally said yes for actually saying that.

"Good Night..." Eli smiled,

"Good Night, Nozomi." And she closed the door.

Line break

Eli sighed. Now that she's in front of the door of her troublesome patient that turned out to be her first-name basis friend? (We didn't become friends!) Now, she's scared if she might be greeted by a pillow to her face or another scream for her to get out.

She knocked and called out, "N..Nozomi-san?"

"Elichi? Come in!" A high-pitched voice said from the other side of the door.

Surprised, Eli clutched the breakfast tray harder than before and stepped in, prepared for some pillow or stuffs. But, nothing came and she saw Nozomi sitting in her bed, smiling warmly at her.

"Hello, Elichi~" she greeted in a singsong voice.

"E-eh? Elichi?" Eli stopped midway in walking and stared at Nozomi.

"Yep~! I'm going to call you Elichi from now on~!"

Blushing, Eli continued on walking towards her and places the tray in the table, "A-anyways, you need to eat your breakfast now."

'Blushing Elichi is very cute ehehe~' Nozomi thought, as she stared at the actions of the blonde. She just noticed how cute and how beautiful her nurse is.

"Are you okay now?" Eli asked her with a worried expression, her sharp blue eyes staring right in to hers,

Nozomi gulped as she was mesmerized at those blue orbs, "Y-yes! .. I'm fine." she averted her eyes from the judging blue.

Although, she's not convinced, Eli shrugged and said, "Alright, for now eat up your breakfast."

Line break

There are days when they were just playing around, like for example today,

"Elichi! Can we go to the garden outside?" With her eyes brimming with excitement, how can Eli say no?

Eli scratched her nape, "I don't know, Nozomi, Maki told me not to take you anywhere..."

"Ehh... Come on, just this once won't hurt right?" Nozomi pouted,

Seeing those pouted lips, Eli blushed at the thought of kissing those. 'Eli control yourself.' She cleared her throat to override her embarrassing thoughts, "Hmm... okay. But for just a few minutes okay?"

"Yay~!" Nozomi cheered.

After a few minutes of going to the garden, they saw hundreds of beautiful flowers. Everything looked beautiful. Especially the woman in front of Eli.

Eli saw how Nozomi's eyes sparkled with amazement as she pushed the wheelchair to the grassland. Eli saw her beautiful and mesmerizing smile that never left once they got in. Eli saw how Nozomi stared at the flowers with a fond look. She was very beautiful.

"Harasho..." Eli said out loud, this caught the attention of the person in front of her,

"Harasho?" Nozomi asked,

"I-It means good," Eli answered hastily, praying that she wasn't caught staring at the other girl.

Nozomi looked at the flowers again, "It looks very beautiful, right?" "Yeah." Eli agreed although she wasn't looking at the flowers.

"Hey, Elichi..." Nozomi began, "If you haven't saved me the day before, I might not see this beautiful sight..."

Eli blushed at the memory while Nozomi looked up to her with her serious eyes, "Therefore, thank you... Elichi, for saving my life..."

Eli smiled warmly at her and put her arms around Nozomi's neck, hugging her, "You're welcome, Nozomi..."

Line break

Also, there are days were they were very happy.

"Almost there, Toujou-san. You can do it!" her therapist cheered,

Holding the railings harder, she moved her right leg in front, taking a step forward. ("Ah! Take deep breaths first!" her therapist reminded) Breathing heavily, she took another step forward, now using her left foot. Before her knees gave in and made her collapse to her therapist arms.

"Congratulations! Toujou-san! You've made a new record today! 2 meters! I'm happy that you're finally cooperating with me!" the female therapist exclaimed. She was dragged back to her wheelchair, "Rest for today and tomorrow, maybe we can set a new record, okay?"

"Thank you." Nozomi said and bowed slightly to her therapist.

She inhaled and exhaled to calm her beating heart. Then she saw a blonde haired nurse talking to another person, "Elichi~!" she called.

Hearing her name, she saw Nozomi waving at her. Eli waved back and bowed to the patient then walked to Nozomi. When she was just about a meter and a half close to Nozomi, "Wait! Stop right there!" Nozomi said.

Eli stood there where she was ordered to. Just then, Nozomi stood up. And Eli was so shocked. 'Nozomi can stand now?!' Then, Nozomi looked at her with determined eyes and smiling so big. Eli wanted to cry—scratch that she was crying now. Eli opened her arms and waited for Nozomi. This action made Nozomi's smile bigger than before. When Nozomi finally made it close to Eli, she collapsed in Eli's arms and the other girl held her strongly. "I'm so proud of you, Nozomi." She whispered in her ear.

Nozomi's eyes began to water at her words, "Thank...you, Elichi" she said and hugged her back.

Line Break

And if there a happy days, of course there were a much more happy days.

The room is tense.

"Because of your performance in our therapy center…" Maki said as she looked at her files, "Nozomi, congratulations, you're now being subjected to a lung transplant." Maki declared as she smiled sincerely to Nozomi.

Nozomi began to cry, she was so happy. Her parents were here, her condition is getting better, and Eli… 'Where's Elichi?'

Eli was outside Maki's office. Already knew what Maki told them. She looked at the little glass window and saw Nozomi engulf in a group hug with her parents, her eyes brimming with so much joy that she cried. 'You were truly are special, Nozomi'

Line Break

And after those happy months, comes….

"Nozomi, this is great news," Maki started, "A person with your blood type is willing to donate her lungs!"

"R-really?" Nozomi said,

"Yes! So ready yourself okay? We're going to contact her and make an appointment."

"Ah, wait! Maki-chan," Nozomi stopped the doctor, "Do you know where Elichi is?"

She saw how Maki's mouth opened and closed then opened again, "Tending to other patients, I guess?"

"Can you tell her I want to see her?"

"Sure"

Line Break

This is bad.

Eli is so confused.

She knows that she loves Nozomi but the thought of losing her…

She knows that when Nozomi's surgery was successful, Nozomi will go home and have a new life.

And probably forgot her.

"AAARGH!" she shouted, thankful that she's in the rooftop of the hospital and no one can hear her.

"She's looking for you, you know." A voice said,

Turning around, she saw Maki holding a can of coffee.

Eli groaned again, "What are you doing here?" she asked the red haired doctor who's now leaning on the fence.

"To find you." Maki answered without looking at Eli,

"Wha—"

"Because I know that you're probably thinking that she'll leave you." Maki took a sip on her coffee. She smirks, "And I'm right."

"If you're g—"

"If you're thinking that she'll leave, of course she is." Eli felt like she was punched, "But if you're thinking that she'll forget you, of course she won't."

"But sh—"

"Go to her." Maki ordered,

"But—"

"If you're going to waste your time here and be gloomy about your unrequited love, why don't you spend more time with her to see that it's not?"

"Do you mean—"

"Yes, I mean that you're stupid, Eli." Maki tapped her shoulder and walked back to the hospital.

Line Break

"Elichi!" Nozomi exclaimed as Eli walked into her room.

"Hello, Nozomi" Eli smiled gently to her,

"Jeez, Where were you these past few days?" Nozomi acted like she's angry,

Eli scratched her cheek, "Well…ahaha... forgive me?"

"I'm only going to forgive you…if..."

"If?" Eli asked nervously,

"If you take me to the garden again, Elichi."

-/-

As they got to the garden, they saw how beautiful it is when the sun was setting.

"Go to that grassland Elichi." Nozomi ordered.

With a quiet hum, Eli pushed her wheelchair to the grassland and then Nozomi stood and sat down on it. Nozomi motioned Eli to do the same.

They sat as comfortable silence surrounds them, only the sound of the wind and some birds chirping were heard. They both watched the sun slowly setting. Nozomi held Eli's hand as they watched.

"Hey, Elichi…"

"Hmm?"

"Will you remember me even if I'm gone?"

"Of course…"

"Then I'll be forever thankful."

Line Break

The lung transplant was a success and the doctors are waiting if there's any sign of risks.

Eli stands by on Nozomi's side in the entire operation, like she's doing now.

Eli held Nozomi's hand when she woke up, "Are you feeling okay now?"

"I'm….fine" Even though her answer was muffled by the tube, Eli can still hear it clearly.

"Take a nice rest..." Eli said as she patted Nozomi's head and smiled.

Line Break

After three days in the ICU, Nozomi was told that she can go back to her old room to get some rest there. Eli accompanied her the whole time. She was happy.

But then,

In the middle of the night, Nozomi woke up with her chest feeling heavy. She clutched her chest very hard.

'Can't breathe'

She can't reach the button where she can call the doctors and her eyes were now filled with tears.

'Air'

Her chest feeling so heavy and her neck felt like someone is strangling her.

'Can't breathe'

'Elichi'

'….save me please'

Line break

Eli was happy. Last night, Nozomi was released from the ICU so now she can rest at a normal room. Also, today is her day off so she can visit Nozomi and not care about the other patients.

She bought her some flowers along the way and she's planning to tell her feelings to Nozomi today.

'It's now or never' she thought.

Room 190.

Eli mentally prepared herself. She sighed and knocked, "Nozomi?"

There was no answer, 'Maybe she's asleep?'

She opened the door and was surprised to find the room completely empty.

"Nozomi?" she called out on the empty room.

She got out and checked the room number again, 'It's right that it's room 190… so where is Nozomi?'

She headed to Maki's office but when she passed by on the Operating Room she saw Maki standing outside.

"Oi Maki, what are you doing there? Shouldn't you be in…side...?" Eli's eyes widen when she saw from the window the person lying in the bed.

"Nozomi!"

She pushed the doors of the operating room open and ran to the bed. She heard the heart beat monitor blaring her most hated sound. "N-Nozomi..." Still, Eli checked her pulse. No beating. Her heart. No beating. Why…

"The transplant was a success then why?!" Eli shouted angrily, tears falling out of her eyes.

"Eli, I'm sorry, I tried everything. I…" Maki explained as her tears also fell, "She died when it's midnight..."

No, no, no, no. NO! This can't be happening.

Nozomi.

Eli held Nozomi's cold hands, kissing the back of it as more tears fell.

"Nozomi, please wake up..."

Line Break [not only the line broke at this part, my heart did too]

Patients will be patients.

They come, they go.

It's painful.

It's painful to see their families cry and beg for the Gods to save them.

It's painful to see them screaming in pain.

It's painful to see that they've lose hope.

It's painful...

for me to see that you're not by my side anymore.

You're really very special

And

I don't think I'll be able to forget you, Nozomi.

End.

Author's notes: Yo! Hope you enjoy that (lol who am I kidding here). Thanks for reading through the end. And I like to clarify that I've only researched that disease so I'm not sure if it's very overacting (overwriting wtf). And COPD is a very serious disease that doesn't have any cure. It will slowly kill you. (why do you think I chose that [ofc to kill xD])

So yeah, I also wanted to clarify that Nozomi died because one of the risks of a lung transplant is the increased difficulty in breathing so she can't breathe. If you have any question about this fic please don't hesitate to ask.

Also, I've dropped a hint there for an upcoming fanfic. Hope you see it tho.

Oh and Fun fact! GARASU NO HANAZONO is equal to 190 when added depending on the number of the respective alphabets. (im a nerd)

And lastly if you have any requests, just name it and I'll try to do it (only the main ships tho xD) Thanks! Bye!