disclaimer: I do not own any of the Invader Zim characters. It would be nice to though. Enjoy the story and have a nice day!
Clicky Pens and Gum Do NOT Mix. Ever!
By happykitsuneperson
It was a very bland day in the Massive. Not one of the many Invaders had reported in, not even the infamous Zim. The communication officers in the Massive's main control room had been waiting patiently for either their leader's permission to take the rest of the uneventful day off, or for the buzzer to free them.
Just as one officer was about to leave on his own, the buzzing noise rang out all over the Massive's interior, and everyone left the room. Except for the Almighty Tallests Red and Purple.
For most of the day Purple had been reading an amazingly long novel and had been ignoring Red. The red Tallest had been waiting for this moment, when it was just him and his co-ruler alone in a room. Red turned his back toward Purple, who took no notice, and dug around in his small (But-able-to-put-anything-in-them) pockets.
After a few moments, Red had found his secret weapon: a banana clicky pen. He began clicking the pen, looking at the ceiling as if he was lost in thought.
Click.
Purple lifted his eyes over to Red, who was staring at the ceiling. Nothing unusual looking was to be seen, so Purple went back to his book.
Cli-Click.
Once again, Purple looked at Red. He hadn't moved at all.
Click... Click click.
Purple glared at the dazed Red for a second and turned back to his book. Red was laughing inside himself at this point. His friend was clearly trying not to show that he was agitated.
Click, click click, CLICK!
Purple calmly put his book down and looked at Red. This confused Red so much that he actually looked at Purple, who was staring angrily at him.
"Will you please quit?" Purple asked in a annoyed tone.
"Click." Red answered with a smug grin on his face. Purple looked so furious.
"Knock it off! You know I hate clicky pens!" Purple attacked Red, snatching the abominable pen away from him.
"I know. It's so much fun to annoy you." Red cooly said to Purple as if nothing had happened.
Purple apparently didn't like that, as he started talking in gibberish. He ran up to the weapon control area of the room, put the banana pen on a target and blasted it to bits with a laser.
"Arg din shu kuj aeg!" Purple said. What that actually meant no one probably knew. Red shook his head.
With the clicky pen destroyed, Purple sat back down and picked up his book again. Red slipped a large stick of gum in his mouth.
"Hey, Pur!" Red exclaimed.
"What now?" Purple whined at him.
"I'll make a bet with you. If I can make you go crazy in ten minutes or less, I get your nachos tomorrow." Red's eyes sparkled with mischief.
"Hmmm... Okay. What do I get if you fail?" Purple was sure that since the evil pen had been obliterated, there was no way for Red to bother him.
"My nachos... and curly fries." Red bribed him.
"Computer, tell us when it has been exactly ten minutes." Purple directed the computer. Red smiled as his partner did this.
Purple had picked up his book yet again and intended to read it until the ten minutes was up.
Smack.
Purple got up and checked if there was something on his butt. "Does my butt look dirty?" Purple said, showing Red his behind.
"No, no. Of course not. Don't be silly, Pur." Much to his relief, Purple sat down again. Red had actually had the gum sticking out of his mouth while his friend had been staring at him. Somehow, he had failed to notice.
SMACK!
Red turned to look at Purple, who was staring at him. "Oh, I think I need some soda." He fake-gagged.
A beam randomly appeared and gave Red a green drink. "Don't eat here again!" it said before disappearing. "What? I didn't program it to say that."
Red started to drink his soda, forgetting that he also had gum in his mouth. He accidentally swallowed it and started to choke, and ran into several items trying to get the gum out.
"Cough. Cou-COUGH! Urgh! Help! Cough." Purple looked at his co-ruler, confused, for a few seconds until he understood what was happening.
"Don't worry, Red. Just try to hold still." Purple grinned.
"Cough. Why? Pur? Cough. You're scaring me..." Red backed up, still coughing.
Purple plunged at him, whacking Red in the stomach with a tazor staff, electrocuting his friend. Red defensively slapped the weapon out of Purple's hands. The two Almighty Tallests took each other down, wrestling on the floor.
"This means I win your nachos, right, Pur?" Red inquired between coughs.
"Yes!" Purple madly admitted, and punched him in the stomach again, sending the gum out of his mouth...
Two of the communication officers entered to see their leaders fighting like Irken smeets.
... And onto one of the officer's faces. The Tallests got up, brushed themselves off and went toward their servants.
"Jimmy." Purple addressed the officer with the gum on his head.
"Yes, my Tallests?" He bowed down to his superiors.
"Get that gum off of you. It looks ridiculous." Red and Purple left the room before he could respond. Jimmy threw it into a trash can. He turned to his companion and shrugged.
"It never was a good fashion statement anyway."
THE END!
