It was lonely being King in The North. Jon Snow had expected it to be less lonely. He had his home again now, and he had his sisters and Bran. All of his bannermen respected him and cared not a wit that he was a bastard. Wealth for House Stark had multiplied. He had men sent off to find dragonstone and had plans in place to battle the White Walkers. For the time being anyway, there was no reason to be so uneasy and so unhappy. And yet he could not shake the feeling that something was missing. Of course Father was missing, and Robb, and Rickon, and even Lady Stark with her unhappy gazes. Winterfell was not the same without them. He told himself that they were the reason he felt so lost and even managed to believe it until he would wake in the middle of the night without HER, Ygritte.
It was late afternoon. Jon was in his solar working on some correspondence. Arya was gone on a hunt with Gendry Baratheon and a large party of guests and men at arms. She spent a great deal of her time with the young Lord and Jon knew it was only a matter of time before the pair announced their betrothal. Sansa was with her ladies weaving blankets to give to the poor in Wintertown. Sansa spent most of her time on those sorts of projects and they seemed to bring her a measure of happiness. Bran usually helped Jon with his correspondence but Bran and Sam were working on making a written record of the things Bran had seen in his visions and they were once again occupied with that endeavor.
A knock sounded at his door and Jon got up and opened the door himself. He was glad for any excuse to leave the letter writing for a little while.
"Someone at the gates to see you, Your Grace." Said Turnip. Turnip was one of the few surviving members of the Stark household after the wars. He had been imprisoned in the Dreadfort until three moons past and now acted as Jon's personal servant.
"I'll be right there," Jon grabbed his cloak and followed Turnip out into the yard.
A young woman stood in the yard next to her horse holding a child in her arms. She wore a fur cloak and brown dress, both looked as if they had been singed by fire. She had long black hair, gray eyes, and seemed to be carrying nothing with her except for a dagger in her belt and the child who clung to her. She looked frightened, truth be told.
"Your Grace?" She said with a small curtsey as he approached her.
"Forgive me, I do not recognize your House by your colors," He said, "What brings you to Winterfell?"
"I am Emely of the Mountain Clan, Knott," She explained. "There has been a great a fire in the mountains. My village was burned. The forest was burned for miles. There would be nothing left if not for the snowfall to put out the flames. I searched the burned forest for days after the fire ended, there was no one left from my village, no one except for my son. My husband was The Knott, the head of the clan and now he is dead. The rest of the clan is on the north side of the mountain. When they return, my husband's brother will expect me to marry him. He is not a good man. I can't marry him. That's why I came here."
Jon didn't know what to say. Sansa would know the right words. She was good at that. Of course it was tragic the way her village had burned and people had died. It was also within the bounds of tradition that a man marry his brother's widow and continue the bloodline. He couldn't blame her for not wanting to marry, whatever the reason may be. "I am sorry to hear of it," Jon said finally. "You are welcome to take shelter in Winterfell until a solution can be found."
Emely nodded and then she burst into tears, "Thank you Your Grace." She said.
Her son, a boy of perhaps three or four years of age lifted his head and spoke for the first time. "When can we eat, mother?"
"Hush," She told him. "Soon."
"When was the last time you have eaten?" Jon asked realizing it might have been a while seeings she carried no supplies with her.
"Tolan ate this morning. I give him all the food I find." She said.
Of course she gave her son all the food. It's what any good mother would do. "Come, we'll get you some food." He could have sent them off with Turnip and gone back to his work. This wasn't a task he needed to see to himself but he found that he wanted do it.
He brought them to the small hall and sent Turnip to fetch some food. Soon the mother and son were seated and eating a bowl of soup, bread, and cheese.
"What will your good brother do when he discovers you have fled to Winterfell?" Jon asked her.
"Yoren will be angry but there is nothing he can do. The Knott clan will do what House Stark tells them to do." She said.
"You said Yoren is not a good man?"
"He drinks too much. He is always drinking ale or cider. The more he drinks the more short tempered he becomes. I fear he would not be a kind husband. His brother Evard was kind to me. He was a good husband." She said sadly. "Tolan will be too young to even remember him later."
"But at least you can tell him about his father." Jon said, thinking of how no one would tell him anything about his mother.
"I will. Once I am able to speak of him without resorting to tears," She said, brushing away some unwanted tears.
"In the meantime, while Tolan remains a child, there will be a dispute about who is the rightful chief of your clan." Jon said.
"Yoren can rule the clan until Tolan comes of age. It's nothing to me as long as I don't have to marry him."
"If you don't marry him, then he will marry someone else. He will want his own sons to rule the clan." Jon pointed out.
"You're right." Emely realized, "Unless I return to Yoren as his wife then Tolan isn't safe."
"If you really do not wish to to re-marry, you and Tolan can have a place at Winterfell. You would be safe here. The choice is yours." Jon told her. It was all he could do.
"I...I thank you," She said, a little taken aback by his offer.
"Take what time you need to decide, a few days or a few weeks if you must," Jon said, moving to leave the room. "I will send in my sister Sansa to see to it that you have clothes and whatever else you need."
Jon saw Emely again the next morning. She wore a dress of dark blue which was probably the closest shade to the ordinary black mourning clothes that Sansa could find for her. Emely's eyes were red rimmed from recent crying. After breakfast Jon sought out Sansa to speak with her.
"How is our guest?" Jon asked his sister in one of the corridors as they left the great hall.
"As well as can be expected, I suppose," Sansa said. "She and her son were put up in rooms near Beth Cassel. I was told by Beth that the two of them spent much of the night crying. They can hardly be blamed for that though."
"Of course not. Do you think there is anything we can do?" Jon asked.
"I doubt it. Remember how it felt after Father and Robb…? Only time can help them now." Sansa said.
"It might not be so simple as that. Maybe they would like some company just to not always be left alone." Jon suggested.
"I don't think Emely Knott is interested in my company, Jon. The women of the mountain clans aren't ladies. She doesn't enjoy sewing or reading. She'd get along better with Arya when she comes back." Sansa protested.
"It would be rude to not at least keep her company some of the time," Jon pointed out. "She is our guest."
"They're your guests," Sansa said, "I bear them no ill will and I am sorry for their loss but I haven't the time to entertain guests. I have a feast to prepare."
"Right, I had forgotten about that." When Arya returned from her hunt with Gendry and the rest of the party there would be a feast.
"If you are concerned about Emely and Tolan Knott, perhaps you had best see to them yourself," Sansa said kindly, her hand on his arm as if she truly did care about the guests but was simply too busy to entertain them herself.
"I will," He nodded.
Jon found time check in with Emely and Tolan late that afternoon. Tolan seemed restless and Jon thought it might do the boy good to be outdoors, he offered to walk with the two of them in the godswood.
"I think it does me good to be outdoors as well." Emely told him as they walked. "My favorite places are either out in the woods or on a horse."
"You like riding?" Jon asked, Sansa had been right, Emely was more like Arya.
"Very much. Evard had some of the best horses...I am glad that I was able to catch one of them during all the chaos of the fire and ride him here. At least Tolan will have something of his father's."
"I take that to mean you do not plan to return to the clan?"
Emely sighed. "I do not. I don't see how I can go back. But if I stay here, what will I do?"
"I don't know. I'm sure we can find something fitting." Jon said.
"Does that sword have a name?" Tolan spoke up for the first time. "Is it really valyrian steel?"
Jon proceeded to tell the boy about Longclaw and spent much of the walk engaged in conversation with Tolan.
************************8888888
Sansa sat in her solar doing needlework while Arya sat with her chatting. Arya had already told Sansa all about the hunting trip and about every word that Gendry said.
"We have a guest from the mountain clans," Sansa told her sister.
"We do? Who?" Arya asked, she hadn't met anyone from the mountain clans before.
"Emely Knott, and her son Tolan. They arrived five days ago. Her husband died in a terrible forest fire and she sought shelter to escape marriage to her husband's brother."
"Was that the woman I saw walking with Jon in the godswood this afternoon?" Arya asked.
Sansa smiled. "Jon walks with her every afternoon. I may have indicated that I was too busy to entertain guests but… they make a lovely couple don't you think?"
"Sansa, you didn't?" Arya asked, shocked.
"I didn't, what?" Sansa said. Then seeing the look Arya was giving her she went on. "What was I supposed to do? Jon is lonely. He won't consider and arranged marriage and he just keeps finding excuses to avoid the ladies of the court."
"Jon doesn't like the ladies of the court," Arya said. "Not that he dislikes them either, they're just boring."
"I know. Which is why a woman of the mountain clans will be more interesting to him. She carries a knife, she rides well, she knows how to hunt, she's much like a wildling but is capable of being a lady and being courteous when it's required of her. She's perfect."
"Even if you're right, the woman just lost her husband…"
"Of course she will be given time to mourn. But it's all that much better if she does her mourning here at Winterfell so that she will have someone to depend on." Sansa said.
"Sansa, you are evil." Arya said with a grin.
"You can't tell Jon. He has to figure it out for himself." Sansa said.
"That might take a while," Arya said.
"Good, because by the time he figures out that I set him up, he'll have fallen in love with her and it won't matter."
*********************888888
Jon found Arya in the practice yard early the next morning. She saw him coming and went to the edge of the yard to speak with him.
"Arya, could you do something for me today?" He asked her.
"Of course. Anything." She said agreeably.
"Would you go riding with Emely Knott before the noon meal? She said that she likes riding and some female company might do her good."
"Oh, I suppose I could do that. Why haven't you taken her riding? Is she disagreeable?" Arya asked, not wanting to ruin Sansa's plans and not wanting to disappoint Jon either.
"No she's...she's not disagreeable. However, if I keep spending so much time with her people are going to begin to talk." Jon said.
"It doesn't matter what people say. She's our guest. If you want to go riding with then go," Arya said.
"I will sometime perhaps, but not today. Will you go?"
"I will." She said reluctantly. How bad could it be?
Arya discovered right away that she liked Emely Knott. The woman knew how to sit a horse and more than that she knew how to use the dagger she carried. The only other woman Arya had ever met like that was Brienne of Tarth. Unlike Brienne and unlike herself, Emily was not entirely put off by womanly duties. She could sew or sing if it was asked of her and she didn't look uncomfortable in a dress like Brienne might have. Maybe Sansa had been right. Maybe Emely and Jon would fall in love given enough time. Even so, Arya was reluctant to force the issue.
"I heard you have been across the narrow sea?" Emely asked as they rode.
"I have. I lived in Braavos for a time. It's really different there than here and even different than Kings Landing."
"I should like to go there someday." Emely said, "To Braavos and the other Free cities, I'd like to see Old Town as well. I suppose I never will."
"Why not? You're not bound to a husband. You could find work and go wherever you wanted." Arya pointed out.
"What about Tolan? He needs to be educated. I can't do that if I'm working to save every coin for traveling the word. It's alright though. I'm happy enough here. It's not as if I need to see the world to have a decent life."
"Where is Tolan now?" Arya asked, curious. They didn't have a nursemaid or a septa at Winterfell yet since there were hardly any children there.
"He is with Jon," Emely said, a blush forming on her cheeks. "Tolan was awake for a long while last night. He misses his father. After breakfast I was speaking with Maester Sam about finding some way some way to help him sleep and Tolan wandered off. I found him in Jon's solar asleep on one of the couches. Jon said to let him sleep and he would look after him."
"That was very kind of him," Arya said, a little surprised to hear of it.
"Your brother has been very kind from the moment we arrived," Emely said but she somehow sounded sad about it.
"You don't sound very happy about that." Arya stated. Sansa probably wouldn't have mentioned it, she knew but curiosity pushed her to broach the subject anyway.
"Oh no. I didn't mean to sound as if I'm not grateful. I am very thankful for all of your kindness, truly I am. It's just a confusing time for me right now, that's all."
Arya was wise enough to understand what Emely did not say. The woman was still mourning her husband and was trying not to admit to herself that she felt something for Jon.
"We should go riding again sometime," Arya said as they returned to Winterfell. "Perhaps tomorrow?" She both liked and felt sorry for Emely. In spite of Sansa's good intentions, it was cruel to push her towards Jon when she wasn't ready yet. Riding might help to distract her.
"I would like that," Emely agreed.
*******************9999999
Six weeks passed. Emely took on the role of being an attendant for Arya. She wasn't exactly a handmaid but she did serve her in many tasks and mostly was a companion much like Sansa's ladies. Jon continued to spend time with her almost daily and Tolan was often seen following Jon around both at court and on the castle grounds. Emely offered to keep her son away from him if he was making a pest of himself but Jon told her that there was no need. He liked the boy and didn't object to his company in the least as long as he could mind his manners during court. Tolan was always well behaved for court and there was never a need for him to be sent back to his mother.
One afternoon as Jon, Emely and Tolan walked in the godswood, Emely tripped over a root hidden under the snow. Jon caught her. The two of them had never been so close before. For a moment, a moment longer than was strictly necessary, he held on to her and breathless she let him. Then, tears in her eyes, she was pulling away.
"I..I have to go. I'm sorry, I have to go," She said, and she fled the godswood, taking Tolan with her.
Emely didn't arrive a dinner that night in the great hall. Neither she nor Tolan were anywhere to be seen.
"Where is Emely?" Arya asked Beth Cassel as they sat down to dinner.
"She's locked herself in her room. Asked me to bring a plate of food for Tolan when I leave here tonight." Beth said.
"Why did she do that?" Arya asked.
"I don't know. I do know she's crying in there." Beth said.
Arya got to her feet. "I'll do it. I'll take food to her now and find out what's wrong."
Arya could indeed hear Emely crying when she reached her rooms. She knocked lightly on the door.
"Emily? It's Arya. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." Emely said, her throat raw from crying.
"I've brought you supper. Something is wrong. Can I come in?"
A moment later Emely opened the door. Her face was streaked with tears. Tolan was in the next room playing with two wooden knights. Arya went into the room and set the tray she carried on the small table. She turned to Emely. "What happened?"
"If I tell you, can I trust that you'll keep it to yourself?" Emely said.
"Of course you can. I am a Stark of Winterfell. I take honor very seriously."
Emely sighed and sat down on the edge of her bed. Arya sat in a chair nearby.
"I am supposed to be in mourning," Emely began, "And truthfully I still am in mourning. I miss Evard every moment of every day. So I don't know why... I don't know how I can betray him as I have."
"How have you betrayed him?" Arya asked.
"By learning to care for someone else," She said, biting back her tears.
"For Jon?"
Emely nodded. "Yes, but you can never tell him."
"I don't think I'll need to. He probably cares for you as well. He'll figure it out soon enough."
Emely was shaking her head no. "I should leave. I should leave with you after your wedding and go to Dragonstone. Will you permit me to do that?"
"Of course you would be welcome...but there's no need to run away from Winterfell or from Jon. Just give yourself time."
"My husband has been gone for two moons and already I am taking comfort in the arms of another man. What sort of a horrible person does that?" Emely protested.
Arya raised an eyebrow. "In the arms of another man? What happened?"
"I tripped and fell in the goodswood. He caught me. Nothing more."
"Then you did nothing wrong," Arya tried to tell her.
"You don't understand. The wrong was in how I felt about it, about being so close...I am disgusting. I can't be in love so soon. I can't. The only solution is to get away from here. Dragonstone might be a nice place, isn't it?"
Arya sighed. "What about Tolan? He loves Jon. He worships him, follows him everywhere. If you leave…"
"Oh gods…" Emely gasped. "You're right. I should have never allowed them to spend so much time together. What have I done?" Emely burst into tears again.
Arya didn't know what to do. She had never had any close female friends and had no idea how comforting them was supposed to work. Sansa would know. "I'll be right back." Arya said backing out of the room.
Arya had almost reached Sansa's chambers when she ran straight into Jon.
"Arya, what's the rush?" He caught her arm when she tried to go around him.
"Nothing it's just…" She had sworn to Emely that she wouldn't tell Jon.
"Something is wrong. What is it?"
"A woman crying. I need Sansa to help me fix it," Arya explained.
"Was it Emely? She wasn't at dinner." Jon said.
Arya hesitated to answer him. "I promised her I wouldn't tell you, that's all I can say on the matter."
Jon's eyes narrowed a bit. "You don't have to tell me. I think I can guess. She is uncomfortable with what happened in the godswood today."
"It's not as simple as that. Maybe you should talk to her yourself." Arya suggested.
"I think that might only make it worse. She's trying to avoid me. She won't welcome a visit to her chambers," Jon said sadly. "Go on then, get Sansa. See if she can help."
Arya did as Jon asked and dragged Sansa back with her to Emely's chambers. Sansa had the right words and mulled wine to at least calm the woman enough to sleep that night. It was all they could do.
**************************88888
For a fortnight, Emely managed to avoid spending any time walking with Jon in the godswood. She made excuses to avoid him every day. He didn't pursue the matter though. He understood. He had overstepped. Catching her when she fell was one thing. Holding her close the way he did had been inappropriate. He would apologize if she would ever allow him to speak with her again. It didn't look like she was going to allow it any time soon. The worse part, aside from missing her company, was that he had liked having her close. She was a beautiful woman and it had felt good to be close to a woman again. But she was a widow and she didn't want him, making his decision to leave her as much space as she needed, the best thing he could do.
Tolan still came to visit him. The boy was always full of questions about knights and weapons and court. Sometimes he brought his toy knights, sometimes he brought paper to draw with. It didn't matter how many questions the boy asked or how noisy he became with his toys, Jon loved that boy and wouldn't dream of ever telling him that the son of a Mountain Clan Chief had no place playing in the solar of the King in the North. He did on occasion remind Tolan to be quieter but that was as far as it went. Jon had been treated differently than the people around him all his life. The bastard didn't get to sit with the family at feasts. The bastard wasn't allowed in the welcoming line when lords and ladies came to visit. No, Tolan could go anywhere in Winterfell that he liked and if the boy prefered to play in the King's Solar then so be it. He would not be made unwelcome because of his station.
Then late one afternoon Tolan came running into Jon's rooms crying. He ran over and hugged Jon, clinging to him.
"What's the matter? What happened?" Jon asked him, concerned.
"Mother says we are leaving. She says we are leaving with Lady Arya after the wedding!"
"Why?" Jon breathed, stunned. He didn't really expect an answer from Tolan anyway.
"She says it's because Lady Arya needs us," Tolan said, pulling away from him. "But that's a lie!"
"I don't think your mother would lie to you," Jon said.
"Mother thinks I don't know things but I do. I heard her talking with Lady Arya. Mother said we have to leave because she still loves my father and she can't love him and love you at the same time," Tolan blurted out.
"She said that?" Jon asked, shocked.
Tolan nodded. "But she's wrong because I can still love my father and love you too. It's not very hard."
Jon put his hand on Tolan's shoulder. "You know I love you too, and I don't want you or your mother to leave Winterfell but your mother is just trying to follow the rules. There are rules for adults that she has to follow. Rules that tell us how long we must wait after a person has died before we can love anyone else."
Tolan looked confused. "Then those are stupid rules."
Jon nodded. "They probably are but those are the rules nonetheless. Not even a king can change them."
"You can't just order her to stay?" Tolan asked.
"A good king doesn't force people to do what he likes, not when they haven't broken any laws," Jon said sadly. "Arya's wedding isn't for another month. There is still time for her to change her mind and if she doesn't change her mind, I'll ask her to allow you to be fostered here when you're a little older."
Tolan nodded, a mixture of disappointment and relief at Jon's words.
Jon could hardly sleep most nights after that, thinking about what Tolan had told him. It was easy to admit to himself that he loved Emely. It was more difficult to figure out what to do about the situation. He couldn't spend more time with her without exacerbating her guilt. He had his own guilt to wrestle with as it was. Ygritte had been gone nearly two years and he still loved her. He always would. As such, he understood why Emely avoided him and why she felt she needed to leave. He couldn't fault her for that and yet he didn't want her to go.
The day before Arya's wedding Jon knew he had to do something, he had to try at least once to convince her to stay. If he didn't try then he would regret it for years. When he went to Emely's rooms, she wasn't there. Beth Cassel saw him in the hall and told him that Emely was with Arya. He reached Arya's room and found the door open. Arya was having her hair done by Emely and two other maids. Arya saw Jon in her mirror and glanced up at Emely.
"See, I told you." Arya told Emely.
Emely looked over at Jon in the doorway, looking a little panicked.
"Might we take a walk my lady, just this once?" Jon asked her.
Emely nodded and followed him out of the room, even allowing him to take her arm. Jon waited until the were out of the castle and well into the godswood before he even tried to speak. He didn't have to. Emely spoke first.
"I have missed these walks," She said.
"As have I," Jon said. "Are you truly leaving tomorrow?"
Emely sighed and didn't answer right away. "I was planning to. All my things are packed. Just an hour ago I was determined to go through with it and now…"
"And now you aren't so sure," Jon finished for her. "You don't have leave on my account."
Emely stopped walking and turned to face him. "It's not what you think. It's true, I've been avoiding you but it's not what you think."
"I know something happened the last time we walked here," Jon said. "Maybe you feel it shouldn't have happened because you're still in mourning. I lost someone too and it took me a long time before I was ready to admit I loved someone else. Now that I've admitted it, I have to ask you to stay. I'll give you time to mourn, as much time as you need. You can keep avoiding me for as long as you need to if it helps, but don't leave...just...please stay."
Emely was crying and it took her a moment to compose herself enough to answer him. Finally she nodded, "How can I say no to that?"
Jon breathed a sigh of relief. "Can I tell Tolan?"
Emely started to laugh, "Did you ask me to stay for my sake or for his?"
"Both," Jon admitted.
She was still smiling. "Whatever your reasons, I'm glad you did ask. I will need time and I'm grateful that you're willing to give it to me."
"Time isn't such a difficult thing to give," Jon said. "It isn't difficult at all."
That afternoon Jon found Tolan and informed him that his mother had decided to stay at Winterfell. Once the boy calmed down from his initial excitement he asked Jon, "Are you going to marry my mother?"
"Someday I will. Someday." Jon told him happy that it was the truth.
