Disclaimer: I do not own Casualty, any of its plots or characters. Any recognisable dialogue will be in italics.

I have changed the order of the scenes, so the lift scene has already happened and the cupboard one is to come :) This is a Jonnie fic, but I would love to try writing other characters/ships. If you like how I write, please feel free to request something via my tumblr ( queen-connie-bee) but if not, that's fine too! I will be updating this every day for a week, I hope you enjoy it!

She sat at her desk in her office, fingers placed on her temples, her fringe pushed up over her hands in frustration. Jacob was struggling, and all she wanted to do was console him. After the shooting, she knew the accident last week would shake him more than he would admit to anybody else. His words seemed to reverberate around the room, "you're not the person I talk to about any of that anymore." He was hurting, and she had added to that pain, because she knew how much that man had adored her. He had proved it to her time and time again. It was all the little things as well as the heroics. It was the nicknames and the casual flirting, him opening up to her after being shot, the brief touches and glances where the other knew exactly what was being conveyed. Him comforting her the day of Roxanne's death. He hadn't made a show of it, but he gave her what she had needed at that moment. He always had done. Everytime he looked at her, she was overcome with a want and a need for him. She had not experienced anything like this before, not with Michael, not even with John, she thought. She had loved John, but this had been different. This was different. She hadn't said the three words that she knew would have meant the world to Jacob, but that didn't make it any less true.

Pushing her hair back into place, she stood from her desk and picked up her stethoscope from it's place on some papers. She glanced at the clock, there was still five hours to go before the end of the shift, and even then she would be in the on call room. Grace was staying with a friend, and being at home on her own only brought back bad memories, the nights on the sofa with glass after glass of wine, the only company being that of overwhelming guilt and sadness. She couldn't hurt Grace again, she had been put second constantly throughout her childhood and if this meant that she couldn't have Jacob.. There was no choice. She could not put her feelings for him before her daughter. All throughout her life, her attention and time been divided between work, her daughter and the men she barely knew, and her relationship with Grace had suffered. With this second chance, it was not going to happen again.

She opened the door and closed it behind her, her heels clicking quickly as she went to find Rita. Walking straight past reception and through the double doors, she caught a glimpse of a white uniform leaving resus, before she saw Rita coming around the corner and he had gone.

"Rita, are those two other girls still in resus or have they been moved through to cubicles yet?" She caught up with the blonde nurse and they walked in the direction of the nurses' station as they talked.

"As far as I know Jacob has just gone to see if Dylan has finished with the boy in 3, and I just saw Ethan discharge a patient in 4 so I'll get on it now. Is Dani out of theatre yet?"

"I haven't heard, but unless there were any complications then I'd expect them to be done soon. Has someone called in the parents?"

As they stopped, Rita looked at Connie in surprise. Normally she didn't concern herself with anything other than the medical practicalities.

"I think Noel has them in reception, when she comes down we'll take them through."

Connie picked up a file that had been left on the top of one of the surfaces and quickly flicked through it's pages. Rita took this as a sign that this conversation was finished and headed back towards resus, catching Iain's eye as he sauntered through the department proclaiming the end of his shift. Connie watched them and she smiled, she had always liked Iain and knew how much of a comfort he had been to Dixie after Jeff had died. She put the file back down, and considered returning back to her office until she was called to re-assess Dani. She decided to get herself a coffee first, and then finish some forms so they wouldn't be sitting there for her in the morning.

"Connie!"

She heard Zoe before she turned around and saw her, her dress splashed with blood and her hands up in front of her,fingers splayed, and a look of disgust on her face.

"Connie, I'm really sorry but there's no syringes left in cubicles and I can't find Robyn or Louise, I wouldn't ask but I need to find some.."

"Scrubs." Connie finished for her, biting her lip to hide her smile.

Zoe looked at Connie and smirked, knowing that both of them were recalling the last time Connie had made a remark on Zoe's ungainly appearance.

"Go on, you go and clean yourself up, I'll get them now."

"Thanks Connie, I won't be long."

I would really appreciate reviews as this is my first attempt at writing any kind of fic, thank you! x