A/N. Written after The Waters of Mars but before the End of Time. Written as a letter from the Doctor to Rose. My inspiration came from several videos on You-Tube and the comments that came with them. I was listening to The Doctor is Dying by Chameleon Circuit as I wrote this. I don't own anyone.

Please read and review. Thank you. ~Sherlocked Gallifreyan


Alone in this darkness, I have too much time to think. Too much time to think of all the people I've hurt in this miserable, never-ending life of mine. I suppose it all started with my own granddaughter. I should have been more careful. Should have been more careful. But no. I wanted company. Even after she left, I continued dragging mortals into my life.

I think the hardest person to lose was you, Rose. Oh, Rose. Why did you have to be there in the store when I first showed up? Why couldn't you have gone home, Rose? Why did you have to make the delivery that night?

But I wouldn't trade having met you for anything. If I had to choose between you, Rose, and having the Time Lords back, I would choose you, Rose.

You saved my life, Rose. Not many people do that. Most people look out for themselves. And I thank you, Rose. Thank you for keeping me alive, for keeping me sane. Thank you for not giving up on me when I regenerated.

I've had several other companions. There was Martha Jones. I liked her. She was good. And there was Donna Noble. Rose, you would have liked Donna. You met her, didn't you? I can't remember now. Or maybe I don't want to remember. I had to erase all memories of our time together from her, Rose. Humans aren't meant to know what a Time Lord does. You felt this briefly when… when you first saved my life.

There were several others. But Rose, not one of them has meant as much to me as you. And then you had to save the world again. You didn't make it this time, though. You're lost to me, Rose. Why? Why did you have to be a hero?

You showed up again, Rose. You came back! Do you know how happy you made me? If just for a short while, I felt truly happy again, Rose. All because you came back to me. I was a fool, Rose. I shouldn't have let my emotions get me like that. I knew you couldn't stay. But… I lost you twice Rose. You're the only one I've lost twice. Do you know what that did to me? I lost it Rose.

Remember how I always told you not to mess with fixed points? I did that. I changed the course of history. Because I felt I had deserved that. I felt that I was the Time Lord Victorious. I had outlived my entire species. I… I went crazy, Rose. I changed history. And I paid for it.

I think my time is ending, Rose. So I want to tell you something, Rose. Something I've wanted to tell you for a very long time. Something I've been scared to say. But you're gone, and I'll be gone soon. I have to say it before I change again.

Rose Tyler, I love you. I love you more than you realize. I'm so, so sorry I could never bring myself to tell you.

Good-bye, Rose.

I love you.