Bonsty On Board

an Aaaah! Real Monsters Fanfic

by Save Fearow

Author's Note: Warning ahead of time that this is another future fic, so obviously if you're not into that sort of thing, consider it outside your personal canon. Speculative year in 2040, so 8 years after the monster graduation and subsequent marriage of Ickis and Oblina, during a brief break in Ickis' collegiate studies.

Krumm was excited. He hadn't seen much of his best friends since graduation. Of course, this wasn't a deliberate choice on anyone's part. The mold farm required alot of maintenance, but Horvak was reluctant to hire any extra help and criticized most of the applicants as 'durn fools who oughtta be happy if'n they got paid with food and surplus spores'. Krumm didn't see how any monster could be satisfied with just that as a reward, given how labor-intensive farming could be, but he still didn't feel it was proper for him to openly challenge his Dad's business ethics. Besides he had at least HEARD alot about Oblina and Ickis. Oblina was now recognized as one of the 100 Most Influential Scarers In The World. Ickis had sent Krumm a copy of one of -her- trading cards, boasting in the accompany letter that since another family member had been immortalized that way, the pressure was finally off him. Oblina had added a post script that her husband should be motivated to work harder, and ought to consider it inspirational to be surrounded by VIM's (Very Important Monsters).

Ickis was also making a name for himself, but in a less traditional way. Since Sublima still stubbornly with-held her toenail savings from her daughter (although she did talk to Oblina periodically), and Slickis had paid more than his share of dues over the decades, Ickis was working his way through college. 'Saturdays In The Park' was often suggested by lady monsters as the ultimate date destination, where you and your squish could hear an ever-rotating repertoire of pop music performed by a little loomer. The common consensus among females was that Ickis was absolutely pitiful to look at, but as a musician was hebopply beyond compare, which seemed to put the boyfriends at ease, knowing they were viewed as more hideous than another monster, even one that shook his groove thing like a pro.

The home Oblina and Ickis had settled upon was in the cheaper section of South Street, still in Lower Manhattan, along the riverside. Ickis always bragged that the view was phenomenal and the location was perfect for wave-riding. He seemed to feel the acoustics were pretty good, too. Krumm had to admit his friend had a point, he could hear Ickis practicing as he approached the front door. The standard harmonica had been replaced by a trumpet for this particular number, followed by a rousing chorus.

"And I know that we can be so amazin'

And being in your life is gonna change me

And now I can see ev'ry single possibility, mmmm

And someday I know it'll all turn out

And I'll work to work it out

Promise you kid, I'll give more than I get,

than I get, than I get, than I get

Oh, you know it'll all turn out

And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out

And I promise you kid, to give so much more than I get, yeah

I just haven't met you yet.

I just haven't met you yet.

Oh promise you kid, to give so much more than I get

I said love love love love love love love love

I just haven't met you yet, so good to me yeah

I just haven't met you yet." Ickis sang as he casually flung the door open wide.

"Hey Ickis." Krumm greeted.

"C'mon in, Krumm. Oblina'll be mad that I left the door unlocked, but I could tell it was you an' not some groupie." Ickis detailed.

"Do they really pester you guys that much?" Krumm wondered.

"All'a time." Ickis acknowledged as he shifted a small bundle in his arms. "They usually wanna hassle Oblina about scaring, ask if she can teach them to pull their guts out or which transformation is most effective against a group. Some of them are even for -me-, that's kinda wild. I tried singing 'American Woman' to the more persistent monsters but I don't think they understand the whole -point- of that song is to tell the fans to back off. It's a little condescending but sometimes you NEED that, guess it's why it became a hit."

"Yeah, I s'pose. I don't really deal with that on the farm." Krumm admitted. "I sorta liked that attention back at school, though. Until Snav and Blib started to worship me, that was just going too far."

"Well, we were glad to have you back in our dorm." Oblina proclaimed. "I always felt more at home with a trio."

"Working on it!" Ickis declared. "You might have to settle for a quartet, next time we have someone over."

Krumm's eyes widened as he finally realized what Ickis was holding. "Is that a bonsty egg? Whoa, you guys work fast!"

Ickis grinned. "Have to, they don't let class out until the last Friday of May, so I -really- had to hustle to pull together a birthday party for Dad. An' so I figured, long as we were gonna be in N'Awlins for awhile, Oblina an' I should have a second honeymoon! Y'know I jus' finished a whole trimester of college, gotta prove I learned -something- worthwhile." Ickis noted.

"All I ask is that you don't show it to anyone else." Oblina insisted.

"Oh, but I wanna show off our little girl." Ickis responded cheekily.

Oblina scowled. "You know what I mean. I swear, Krumm, he only -pretends- to be dumb." complained Oblina.

"It's a good strategy." Krumm agreed.

"Who's Daddy's little gremlin? Yes, you is!" Ickis cooed.

"Try to keep your sentence structure grammatically correct, Icky. We don't want her sounding uneducated." Oblina charged.

"Does it make that much of a difference, when it's still an egg?" wondered Krumm.

"Of course! Hearing is one of the first senses to develop! I even built a trumpet for her out of salvaged scrapmetal. She loves the fanfare most of all. Sound is one of the primary ways bonstys form a bond with a parent! Hearing, scent, touch, sight, taste, in that order... 'less you got a blob. Those species have an oral fixation so they begin fang-ing right away. Other monsters gum everything for the first week, then they start biting." Ickis explained.

Oblina shrugged. "He would know. I never claimed to be an expert on blobs." Oblina put forth.

Ickis' eyes widened. "Really? Cause I seem to remember a girl who -koff- was a little liar." Ickis argued.

"Cough again and I'll take the bonsty away from you. I'm not exposing a newborn to THAT." Oblina countered.

"So not fair! I was thirsty, honest! Krumm, help a monster out here!" Ickis pleaded.

"I think what Ickis was trying to say is he was only pretending to cough so he could make fun of you, Oblina. How was that, buddy?" Krumm asked.

Ickis hung his head. "Not 'zactly the help I was looking for, thanks anyway." he grumbled.

"You're welcome." Krumm replied happily.

Oblina beamed. "It's nice having you here again, Krummy. I can always use another monster to help put Ickis in his place." she stated.

"Like you don't use Dad for that often enough. 'Hey son. Jus' came back from Europe, set a record for looming, I was taller than the Eiffel Tower for 1 minute, 48 seconds! Qu'aviez-vous fait? J'ai entendu que vous aviez le problème écrivant vos essais, celui est une honte. Peut-être nous irons effrayer encore bientôt. Occupez-vous de si je fais le dîner? J'ai pensé que les cancrelats seraient savoureux ce soir.' Yeah, always great to have confirmation that he's a better scarer, athlete, chef, linguist, etc. Probly gonna always be a better Dad too, but at least I'll make a very good attempt in that department. He can have best Granpa title all he wants, pretty sure he's earned it, no offense to Mister Skeech." Ickis remarked as poured a glass of phlegmonade.

"Dada tries to be supportive, but I don't believe he could match Slickis in that regard, not that I think they would make a competition of it." Oblina reasoned.

"Smart monster. It's so much easier to jus' let Dad have his victories. Sometimes I think chasing a trophy means more to him that it would to most monsters. Cause Mom was his pep squad long before anyone else started riding the Great Slickis popularity wave, so subconsciously he probly still wants to do the things that made her happy." Ickis theorized as he sipped his drink.

Oblina and Krumm stared at him. "Icky... that was very perceptive of you." Oblina acknowledged.

"Psychology is one of the requirements for my teaching degree. Oh, they also recommend -not- psychoanalyzing friends and family so let's just keep that assessment to ourselves." insisted Ickis.

"I know how to keep secrets." Krumm professed. "Oblina never even knew that you carved her name inside a heart under the Viewfinder back in '96."

"Is that what you were doing, Ickis the day you released it?" Oblina questioned.

"Well, I didn't have a scare anyway so I thought I'd just dismantle it temporarily. An' since I was already messing with it, I kinda decided, maybe nobody would notice a small detail if they were focused on the Viewfinder being a wreck in general." Ickis confessed.

"That's... creepy, but flattering. I don't believe that excuses an act of vandalism, particularly since I hadn't even given you a pity date at that point." Oblina informed him.

"But I was making progress in that regard! I had gotten to kiss you twice, one time it was even deliberate on your part! Plus you were kind to me after I accidentally froze myself, trying to sneak up on that butcher. I knew pity was my trump card!" proclaimed Ickis.

"Wow. Icky, you were one sad little monster, to equate basic courtesy with a burgeoning romance." Oblina stated.

"You were still the only one to show any sympathy, even AFTER the Gromble exiled me to the infirmary." Ickis continued.

"I remember that! I think me and Oblina did a great job, not laughing at your fur change, until we judged you had probly fallen asleep." Krumm recalled.

Ickis' ears drooped. "Thanks alot, Mr. Secret-Keeper. Least my little critter will be spared -that- indignity. 6th generation, baby, way to avoid genetic impurities! Attagirl!" Ickis encouraged the egg.

Krumm sensed it would be better to keep Ickis fixated more on the bonsty topic, and less on Academy antics. "So, how do you know it's a girl?" Krumm inquired.

"Egg shape is the earliest indicator. Boys' eggs are more ovoid, girls' are more elliptical. Some doctors claim that the tint of the eggshell can determine gender but that method's only got an 87.5% accuracy rating. At this stage though, you can tell by the bonsty's movements. Boys wanna kick their way out of the shell, girls tend to scratch an' pull. Listen to her scrabble! She's gonna have very sharp claws, like Daddy." Ickis announced with pride.

"I don't hear any scratching." Krumm claimed.

"Let Krumm hold the egg." Oblina instructed. "You hardly let -anyone- else have a turn with her."

Ickis frowned. "She needs to be kept warm! You'll have lotsa time alone with her once school starts up again, Oblina. If I don't form a connection with her NOW, she might not even remember me when I return!" Ickis protested.

"Don't be silly, Ickis. Of course she wouldn't forget you. Now give her to Krumm, he needs to get to know her, too. Unless you'd like for her to grow up friendless and alone, or despairing over every minute spent apart from a father, we've all seen what wonders -that- does for a bonsty's personality." commented Oblina.

"No, no, no, that's not happening! Go meet Uncle Krummy, you'll -like- him! He was Academy President, an' that's jus' a popularity contest! Krumm's a great guy, even if he doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut!" Ickis persisted. He gently placed the egg in Krumm's right hand. "Careful you don't drop her."

"Relax. I been juggling my eyeballs all my life. Hey, I bet I could juggle her too. Icky picky putrid!" Krumm laughed as he tossed the egg up high. Ickis watched in horror as his bonsty-to-be went sailing through the air. "Toldja I'd catch her, before the first bounce even." Krumm noted as the egg landed in his hand. Ickis fell over in a faint.

"He's waking up now." observed Oblina.

"Think he's still mad?" asked Krumm.

Ickis blinked his eyes, as his vision slowly came back into focus. "I hate you." he moaned.

"Yup, he's still mad." Krumm stated.

Oblina sighed. "At least the couch has proven a good investment. I knew that would be the first piece of furniture we should buy." she insisted.

"Gimme back my bonsty." Ickis demanded.

"Alright, Icky. Krumm did a perfectly fine job of watching her for 5 minutes, and then I held her without any problems until you regained consciousness. I'm sure that's not really any compensation to you, but I thought you should know that we kept the situation under control." Oblina explained.

"Thanks. But you're right, that didn't make much of an impression on me." Ickis admitted.

"You made a good impression on the floor. We can still see some imprints of your ears. See there they are, like a little rabbit. Eh, what's up doc?" Krumm joked.

Ickis glared at him. "Of course you know, this means war." he snarled.

"Ickis, behave yourself. You'll set a terrible example for the bonsty by starting fights." Oblina scolded.

"Only if I lose!" Ickis retorted.

"Good, then we both agree." Oblina claimed.

Ickis scowled. "I hate it when she does that." he whined. "You'll be a good girl, an' won't humiliate Daddy in front of his so-called friends, will you?" he deliberately directed his conversation towards the egg.

"I'm sure she'll let you screw up all on your own." Oblina replied.

"Yeah, that's what I usually do. Never been let down in -that- regard." Krumm concurred.

"Nope, you'd rather be the let-down-er, than the let-down-ee." Ickis professed.

"Stick to real words, Ickis, that was the rule." Oblina declared.

"I -hate- house rules! They are sooo snorbly!" Ickis opined.

Oblina rolled her eyes. "At least I get plenty of practice in dealing with spoiled bonstys." Oblina noted.

"There's nothing wrong with being a bonsty." Ickis argued.

Krumm was shocked. "Wow, that's different. I guess being married really changes a guy." he marveled.

"I don't want her developing a complex." Ickis professed. "She needs plenty of encouragement to build up her self-esteem."

"Just don't go overboard." Oblina warned.

"She ain't no rock star, but she got groupies!

She ain't no actress, but she make movies!

And when she struts that th'ang around

Ev'rybody be breaking their neck like

Who dat girl?

Who dat girl?

Who dat girl?" Ickis chorused.

Oblina's jaw dropped. "Ickis, what did I just get through telling you?!" she snapped.

"Not to praise the bonsty so much. That's why I switched to describing how wonderful her mother is. She's a lucky lady, getting to know such a hideous mom." Ickis explained.

"Hmm, I can see the merit in that." Oblina allowed.

Krumm smiled. "I guess you 2 are doing alright with this parenting stuff. But you know what I thought would be fun? Doin' a group scare, just like we used to!" Krumm offered.

"I'm always up for a scare!" Oblina agreed.

Ickis frowned slightly. "I don't know about this. A bonsty could get hurt out there. It's her 29th day, she could hatch soon!" Ickis worried.

"30 is average." Oblina pointed out.

"She's your daughter, that makes her above-average!" Ickis argued.

"She's yours, too. And you took 31 days to hatch, Slickis told me." Oblina responded.

"That's why averages are so misleading! They go by the median, but depending on the spread, you could have a totally different mode! An' even that just factors in the most -common- hatch day! Some monsters like to break tradition!" Ickis persisted.

"If it worries you so much, Krumm and I will go, just like old times." suggested Oblina.

"Which 'old times'?" Ickis wondered. "Cause if they're the kind of 'old times' that involve amusement parks, an' stupid letters that the library monster helpfully rids of ALL my spelling errors then I -don't- want any part of it! I'll come along, but I'm warning you, don't try anything squishy!"

"Ickis dear, you are obsessing. Let it go." Oblina ordered.

Ickis clutched the egg protectively. "But she's my bonsty an' I love her." he insisted.

"Not that!" Oblina hissed. "The ex-boyfriend factor. Krumm and I just had a little schoolyard squish, nothing serious became of it, and we remained friends. I don't begrudge YOU for dating Dizzle."

"I haven't seen Dizzle since the wedding, when you looked as though you wanted to throttle her." Ickis mentioned. "I -did- hear a rumor that you paid Lugo to block her from all my concerts, though."

"You can't believe everything you hear, Ickis." Oblina persisted.

"Yeah, Lugo was willing to do that for free." Krumm remembered.

Oblina scowled at Krumm. "I'm beginning to see Ickis' point about you being horrible at keeping secrets." she commented.

"I can keep a secret. I just don't keep quiet while I do it." Krumm clarified.

Ickis sighed. "I guess I better prepare for confronting Dad about the whole trophy thing." he remarked.

"No, your father hates confrontations. Especially with you Ickis, cause he worries he's gonna outlive you, and doesn't want to say something stupid he can't take back or have another regret when you DO die on him." Krumm detailed.

Ickis' lip quivered. "Dad's really afraid of that? I didn't think he feared anything!" Ickis fretted.

"Oh sure. It's in all the pamphlets Slickis sent that -my- Dad wouldn't read. Combustible monsters have a MUCH lowered life expect-ow!" Krumm started to explain even further, but was stopped when Oblina kicked him angrily. "You don't hafta kick that hard to show your approval, Oblina. I know we're friends."

"Sometimes you have an odd way of showing that, Krumm." Oblina opined. "Nevermind all that nonsense. We're going on a scare and we'll all enjoy ourselves tremendously!"

Ickis swaddled the egg in blankets and slung it over his shoulder. "Lead on, Oblina!" he encouraged.

The trio (or quartet if you wanted to get technical) headed southeast. "We'll take the ferry that goes to Liberty Island, and frighten all the tourists around the Statue Of Liberty." Oblina ventured.

"No way! The Gromble wouldn't even let us go there the first 2 years of school! An' even then he prefered that we went in groups. He kept saying it was dangerous cause there's water all around an' the ferries stop running after 5 PM so monsters can get stranded out there." Ickis recalled.

"That shouldn't be any trouble for us. Krumm and I know how to keep track of time, and you can always swim for it if you're late." Oblina quipped.

"I only had to do that twice!" Ickis reminded her. "That hardly makes it a foregone conclusion!"

"I'm still carrying the egg on the way back." decided Oblina.

"Why don't you have faith in me?" Ickis whined.

"Because I know you." Oblina replied. "That's why I also know where there is going."

"And just to clear the air

I ask forgiveness for the things I've done

You blamed me for." Ickis prompted.

"But then I guess we know there's blame to share." Oblina responded haltingly.

"And none of it seems to matter anymore!" Ickis sang enthusiastically.

Krumm grinned. "Hey, you guys sound pretty good together." he complimented them.

"I know, right! I keep telling her she needs to duet with me sometime, we'll make it a night of stage-and-screen! We'll start with Broadway, that's our hook, then we'll move on to animation. She can be the Sawyer to my Danny!" Ickis professed.

"I am NOT doing the 'Tell Me Lies' bit." Oblina flatly refused.

"Most of the others are crowd songs. We could do 'Our Time Has Come', that'll reach 'em in the cheap seats!" Ickis envisioned.

"You're gonna fall big and you're gonna fall loud." Oblina argued.

"Never pictured YOU as the Darla type, ha ha!" Ickis laughed.

"Shut up Ickis." Oblina told him.

Krumm snickered. "That was awesome! It was so weird the first week after we graduated. I kept waking up on the farm, waiting for you guys to start yelling at each other again. Or else I'd picture Oblina smacking her lip the way she sometimes does when she's reading, or Ickis mumbling in his sleep." Krumm recalled.

"I don't smack my lips!" Oblina protested.

"Oblina's right, it's more of a frustrated tsk-tsk sound." Ickis defended her.

"Oh thank you Icky. I s'pose I would not be remiss to point out that you hardly ever -mumbled- in your sleep." Oblina began.

"Thanks." Ickis cheerfully acknowledged.

"Mumbling implies a subdued tone of voice, you frequently yelled YOUR outbursts. Still do, in fact." Oblina concluded.

Ickis' eyes widened. "That is purely for, um, dramatic effect! Yeah, I pulled that one off smoothly." Ickis decided.

Oblina rolled her eyes. "Well, we've made it to Battery Park at least. Maybe you can use that dramatic effect to terrify the humans, Icky. But if that's not enough, you could always snore and call it a growl." Oblina joked.

"If I ever did snore, and I'm -not- saying that's true, it would probly ONLY happen when my sinuses were blocked, an' therefore be such an infrequent occurence as to not even -warrant- a mention." Ickis insisted.

"That pretty much encompasses all of winter, plus anytime you were stupid, reckless, or unlucky." Oblina remarked.

"Okay then Miss Know It All! You also... er, you do that lip thing and you... um, are apparently a better sleeper than I am." Ickis realized glumly.

"I'd add it to my list of accomplishments, but that's already so long I need to limit it to more important events." stated Oblina. "A girl's got to have standards, after all." she noted. Ickis sighed.

"Cheer up, buddy. It's a very soothing sound because it means you're NOT doing anything stupid, reckless, or unlucky. Unless you're sleepwalking, but that's why we always stocked up on chains." Krumm explained.

Ickis cuddled his bonsty egg. "Contrary to what you've jus' heard, my itty bitty bonsty girl, friends can also be helpful an' enjoyable. They will truly enrich your life... when they aren't -actively- TRYING to destroy it." Ickis assured the egg.

Oblina laughed. "Ickis, you're too tense. First you were worried that your grades weren't good enough. Then you were worried that your father's party wasn't good enough. Obviously, we ensured that it was, right on down to the after party. Now you're worried that -you're- not good enough to be a father." Oblina detailed.

"I think it would help if everyone stopped telling her ALL of my flaws." Ickis snapped.

"She'd hatch before we even got halfway through them. We only have 30 days." Oblina explained.

"Less than that now. Day 29 an' you're doing fine, hideous!" Ickis cooed.

"Have you thought of any bonsty names?" Krumm inquired.

"She's gonna be named after Oblina, obviously. But we might work in a slight reference to Miz Sublima, it's hard enough to stay on her good side." claimed Ickis.

Krumm nodded. "Yeah, that's usually how it goes. Although, you could name her after other relatives..." he suggested.

Ickis flicked his ears in annoyance. "Oh yeah. Telia an' Smalvara sound wonderful." he quipped. "Cause when I think of what I want a bonsty to be known for, teal an' small are the qualities that LEAP to mind!"

"Funny I would have thought the opposite, cosidering what you been through." Krumm noted.

Ickis scowled. "You an' Dad are terrible at thinking up with bonsty names, the absolute worst." he insisted. Ickis clapped a paw over his mouth. "An' now you're gonna tell HIM that." he groaned.

"Only if it comes up in casual conversation." Krumm assured Ickis. They boarded the ferry, with varying degrees of excitement, as they headed for the next adventure.

Oblina was the first to climb ashore. "Tourists make such excellent targets, because they aren't as guarded as native New Yorkers." Oblina professed.

"Some humans care alot about ancestry." Ickis noted. "Monsters had been around for so much longer, we don't usually think about it too much. Although loomers -have- always lived in America."

"Have they always been bragging about it, or is that just you?" Oblina asked.

"I think we've all done it. I sure learned that from Dad quick enough!" Ickis replied.

"Yes. Of all the things Slickis could teach you, that was the ONE thing you should pick up on." Oblina remarked.

"Call him Great Slickis, he likes that better." insisted Ickis.

Oblina sighed. "Just because you're not home all the time doesn't mean you have to cram all your obnoxiousness into a single day." suggested Oblina.

"I spread it out into weekly allotments." Ickis professed. "You're just noticing it more today cause Krumm is around, so you remember old grievances, too."

"Specially since I keep bringing them up!" Krumm added brightly.

Oblina glared at both of them. "I'm going scaring now. I think I'll ride the elevator inside the museum. Imagine their surprise when they reach the 22nd floor, try to put a quarter in those silly binoculars, only to confront ME instead!" she grinned in anticipation, before running inside.

"I just feel like hanging out by the vendors. I'll let the crowd come up to me, sniffing for hot dogs and pretzels, then hit them with a stink spray!" Krumm chuckled. "What are you gonna do, Ickis?"
"I'm gonna watch the bonsty egg, wait for her to hatch." Ickis announced.

Krumm didn't understand. "But we rode the ferry all the way out here! Don't you wanna scare somebody? Then you can REALLY have something to boast about." Krumm wheedled.

Ickis glanced around nervously. "Sure, I would! But I can't loom and carry her at the same time, that's not safe!" Ickis protested.

"Lemme look after her for a little bit. I don't need to go anyplace to get my scares in." Krumm offered.

Ickis tried to smile. "You're sure? I mean, really truly oogly-boogly sure? Cause I don't want anything to happen to her!" Ickis proclaimed.

"She'll be fine. You heard Oblina. I'm good at watching her, and she needs more socialization or she'll become a nervous wreck. And I think the chances of THAT are even higher when there's a family member pre-disposed to that condition." ventured Krumm.

"She has a 15% chance of being manic-depressive." Ickis asserted confidently. "Oh." his ears drooped as the realization sunk in.

"Just set her down next to me." Krumm suggested.

"You should hold her. It's warm out, and I got blankets for her, and there -might- even still be some residual warmth from my body heat, but her egg temperature can drop FAST if you're not watching. That could impair her development." Ickis persisted.

"What the worst that could happen?" wondered Krumm.

"She lives only 127 years, never once talking or walking by herself. I spend the rest'a my life crippled by overwhelming anxiety. Oblina dumps me. Dad finally admits he shoulda left me with bonsty protective services. I die a broken, lonely husk of a monster." Ickis detailed.

"You really thought this through, huh?" Krumm noted.

"Weeks of nightmares will do that to a guy. I even had to take Shnookie back out of the locked closet." Ickis admitted.

"Does Oblina know you're sleeping with another woman?" Krumm queried.

Ickis scowled at him. "Yes. Not only is Shnookie a girl sponge, but technically you could consider the egg to be another female as well." he huffed.

"Whoa. And they said my family inter-breeds too much. Gonna make for some awkward conversations." Krumm predicted.

Ickis glared. "You remind me more of Mister Horvak every year." Ickis observed.

"Yup. We're good buddies, me and my Dad." Krumm responded.

Ickis delicately passed the bonsty egg over to Krumm. "See, I've got her hooked up like a sling, so you can carry her egg with only one hand, and hold your eyeballs in the other. You can switch sides if you get tired. I'll only be as far away as that gift shop, looming out from behind the Statue of Liberty cut-outs, okay? An' then I'll wait for Oblina by the pedestal where they got the elevator installed. If she starts to hatch, call me. If she does anything else unusual, call me. If she's in trouble, call me. You don't even have to call very loud, I'll hear an' I'll come running!" Ickis promised.

"Relax. I know what I'm doing." Krumm insisted. One of his eyes fell to the ground and skittered away. "Uh, be right back!" he cried out.

Ickis tugged on his ears morosely. "We're doomed." he moaned.

Oblina was having the time of her life. Besides transforming her body to resemble binoculars, she could also wrap herself around banisters and frighten the humans that way. Every couple minutes she rode back down a few flights on the elvator, situated quietly in the back. When she judged there was a large crowd, she pulled out her guts and scared everybody. Already a rumor was percolating that the elevator was haunted, and some of the more shocked tourists had gone so far as to suggest police, firefighters, or the national guard be called in to investigate.

Ickis was making a decent go at it. No human had tried to run a price check on the stuffed rabbit yet, so he considered himself ahead of the game. He decided to call it quits after the first 2 looms however, in order to conserve energy (and NOT because he missed his egg, and his wife, and he needed a distraction from his increasing agitation. At least meeting up with Oblina early would alleviate -some- of those worries.)

Krumm was surprised at how quickly carrying a bonsty egg tired a monster out. She was probly going to have big floppy ears weighing her down, it certainly felt that way to Krumm. After scaring one final hungry patron he decided to take a brief stroll around the statue's base, see what other vendors had set up. There were alot of red, white, and blue decorations as well as miniature flags to accompany the standard mugs, sunglasses, hats, and NY T-shirts. One particular display caught his attention. FIREWORKS, the sign proclaimed. Krumm remembered how much Ickis had lecturing him about keeping the bonsty egg warm. What could be warmer than fire? Krumm could just set her down there briefly, and close his eyes briefly, maybe even nap briefly...

Ickis wrung his paws in desperation. Oblina was sure taking her sweet time getting down there. He -knew- the elevator didn't normally run this slowly, she must have stopped for a few extra scares during the descent. Oblina never took the easy way out. Sometimes he admired that, but usually, it annoyed him. Sometimes it even terrified him a little to think of the extremes she would go to for a scare. Plenty of monsters liked to go on cross-country scaring sprees, his Dad had partly built a reputation around that. Ickis had spent a lifetime privately worrying about one thrill-seeker. He didn't want to feel such concern for another family member. Especially an expectant mother who had never actually given him permission to let their friend guard the egg. Ickis squirmed. He'd just reached the unfortunate conclusion that suddenly HIS life was the one in jeopardy.

A bell rang, signalling the elevator's arrival. Oblina strode forward proudly. There had been no other passengers for the final 3 floors. "Icky, I just had the most marvelous scaring session! Where's the bonsty egg?" she greeted him.

Ickis grinned weakly. "I- I left her with Krumm." he admitted.

Oblina's eyes widened. "ICKIS! What were you thinking?!" she hollered.

Ickis flinched. "I was thinking that it's a good idea for a bonsty to have new experiences?" he suggested meekly.

"Such as seeing her father torn limb from limb?" Oblina snapped.

"I had something less fatal in mind." Ickis claimed.

"Really? Because your -actions- IMPLIED otherwise." roared Oblina.

He backed away slowly. "N-now don't be hasty, Oblina. Krumm told me he'd protect her an' you know what Krumm is like when he says he's gonna do something important!" Ickis argued. He and Oblina exchanged glances. "Yeep! She's in danger!" Ickis quickly determined.

They rushed outside, frantically scanning the crowd for any sign of Krumm or the bonsty.

"Krumm? Krumm? KRUMM!" Oblina cried out frantically.

Ickis zeroed in on him. "There's Krumm, asleep on the watch! How could you DO that Krumm?" Ickis demanded, as he shook Krumm awake roughly.

"And how could YOU put him in a position where he COULD do that?!" Oblina added, pulling on Ickis' ears for emphasis.

"Yowch! That hurt!" Ickis complained.

"Be glad that's -all- I did to you! Where's the bonsty, Krumm?" Oblina interrogated.

Krumm scratched himself. "She should be in that box... that used to be over there. The fireworks box." Krumm explained.

"AAAHHH!" Ickis yelled. "Why would you put her in a -fireworks- box?!"

"Fire is warm." Krumm noted sagely.

"So were the blankets that I wrapped her in!" Ickis countered.

"I can think of a few warm places little bunny monsters will end up in if they KEEP being stupid!" Oblina screeched.

"Okay, okay. We can do this, we can find her. I know that scratching sound, it's coming from the docks, an' there's tires squealing, she must be in a truck, an' they're setting the brakes so they can unlo- oh!" Ickis shrieked and rushed toward the docks, with Oblina following close behind. The prospective parents watched the ferry disembark, carrying their bonsty egg.

"My bonsty!" Oblina wailed.

Ickis paced back-and-forth nervously, then latched onto an idea. "Hey Oblina! Y'ever wanted to be a pole vault?" he asked.

"No." Oblina replied.

"Too bad." Ickis scooped up his wife and ran along the dock. At the end of the pier, he slammed Oblina down vertically, then jumped, pulling her along with him at the last moment. They landed ackwardly onto the ferry's stern.

Ickis groaned as he regained his footing. "You alright, Oblina?" he questioned.

Oblina rubbed her aching forehead and grimaced. "I wouldn't care if I wasn't! We have to find our bonsty, Ickis!" Oblina insisted.

"Okay, okay. Don't worry, you're great at finding lost eggs." Ickis professed.

"I wasn't even trying back then, it just happened." Oblina admitted.

"So you'll do -even- better now that you're focused on it!" Ickis assured her. He pricked up his ears.

"Last shipment was defective. Better test one o' the fireworks now, see if they're good quality." a human instructed.

Ickis gulped. "N-not to put pressure on you, Oblina, buuut the humans are talking about setting off a display early." he stated.

Oblina scowled. "Not today, they're not." she vowed. "Lead me to them, Ickis."

"This way, they're on the port side!" Ickis exclaimed as they ran. "An' are they ever gonna be sorry they ticked YOU off!"

"Not half as sorry as Krumm will be. He's getting the monster's share of my wrath." promised Oblina.

"Is that like a regular monster's share, or a loomer's share, cause we always take more." Ickis pondered.

"Loomer size. Definitely." Oblina decided. They spotted the cargo of pyrotechnics, as well as the human who was rummaging through them.

"What kinda Roman candle is this? Don't even see the fuse on this piece o' junk." the man mused as he picked up the bonsty egg.

"How dare you insult MY bonsty!" Oblina snarled. "If I can't give you a piece of my mind, then how about a piece of my stomach?!" She pulled her guts out in a practiced manuever, and stood her ground menacingly.

The human stared at her, too frightened to move. "Wh-wh-what?" he stammered.

"Fly, you fool!" hissed Ickis.

"Yaaah! Mutant sewer rat!" the man screamed as he ran away. He tossed the egg aside in fright, but Oblina dove to catch it.

Ickis frowned. "Sewer rat? I don't even -have- a tail, although some of the best monsters I know have one. Oh, and the Gromble's got a tail too." Ickis qualified.

"Pay no attention to the monster on the ground. She's only your wife, saving your precious putrid pipsqueak, not like THAT matters." Oblina declared testily.

Ickis blushed. "Whoops. Sorry about that. I'm okay, you're okay, so what's wrong?" Ickis queried. He eyed the egg critically. "Ooh, ooh, ooh, she's got the egg shaking! She's hatching!"

"Come on out, come out, you're early, you don't take after your father much, but I'm not complaining..." Oblina urged her child.

"I'm letting that slide, cause your mother is heroic. And she'll make me sleep on the couch if I argue about ANYTHING at this point." Ickis allowed.

"See? Only 8 years in Teacher's College and you're smarter already." Oblina noted. They watched as sections of the eggshell tore free.

"She's doing it! Look, there she is! What's black and white and red all over?" Ickis squealed.

"Our bonsty." Oblina observed happily.

"She's got your lips. I was hoping for that." Ickis swelled with pride.

"And your ears." Oblina remarked.

Ickis deflated somewhat. "Maybe they'll help her develop an appreciation for musical theory." he suggested tentatively.

"I think she's perfect." announced Oblina.

"Of course she is, she's our Gublina!" Ickis declared. Gublina began to cry. "Shh-hh. Daddy's here, daddy's got you. Mommy an' Daddy love you so much, little Gu, yes we do." Ickis informed her.

Oblina patted her daughter gently. "I'm so glad she's alright, I'm even willing to forgive Krumm, completely." Oblina claimed.

Ickis looked back at the Hudson River, with the island receding in the distance. "Oh, that's right. I s'pose one of us has to go back an' get him." Ickis realized.

Oblina looked at him. "What do we do? We swim, swim, swim..." she reminded Ickis.

"But I wanna- an' the bonsty- Gu just hatched!" Ickis made a fleeting attempt at challenging Oblina, before he saw the steadfast resolve in her eyes. "Alright, I'll do it. It's a nice afternoon for a swim, anyway."

Oblina nodded. "Clever boy. Wave goodbye to Daddy, Gu." Oblina instructed, as she lifted Gu's paw for her.

Ickis beamed. "Attagirl. Stay here an' mind your mother, alright?" He leaned forward to pet her goodbye, only to have his daughter snatch at the glasses. "Go ahead an' borrow those. Try not to break them, or I'll hafta beg your Granma for another pair, an' she is sca-ryyy. Where d'ya think your mom got those moves from, huh?"

"Transformation was Mumsy's specialty. Gut-wrenching was Dada's strength. I took after -both- of them." Oblina attested.

"Uh... I can loom like my Dad. An' I guess I'm sorta jumpy, I mean I jump -towards- humans. To scare them. Not the other way around." Ickis explained. Gublina yawned.

"That's her excited face." Oblina offered kindly.

"Thanks for the comforting lie. G'bye Gu. G'bye Oblina. I'll see you ladies soon." Ickis promised. He gave each of them a quick smooch.

"I'll have dinner waiting. I think it will be useful to teach Gu how to cook, even at a young age." Oblina professed.

"I never got beyond boiling skankum. You can only run for a fire extinguisher so many times before monsters give up on the idea." Ickis remembered. "Best of luck to you!" he called as he jumped into the water.

Oblina smiled. "We don't need luck, we have everything we need in each other, don't we Gu?" she addressed the bonsty. Gublina smiled and flexed her claws in a clumsy imitation of a wave.

~~~The End.

Author's Name: Hope you enjoyed it. Yes, I'm aware that the statue is -currently- closed for visitors due to hurricane damage. I like to think they have reopened by the time Gublina was born, New Yorkers are a very resilent population after all. Gublina's name is pronounced with an "oo" sound. So their nicknames are Icky and Goo. I think he did that deliberately, don't you? Although Gu's birthday is June 27th, and Slickis' is May 28th, my husband celebrates HIS on February 21st, so once again, Reuben's getting a dedication. Happy birthday, sweetie! I love you.