Candy Hearts and Chocolate Kisses
Summary: For the last month, Akoya has been receiving expensive gifts from a secret admirer, but a single box of chocolates was all it took for him to realize that his admirer may be closer than expected.
(A/N) Writing this fic for fabulous-magical-boys as part of the Love Letters White Day Exchange over on Tumblr was a journey of self-discovery for me. I had never expected to realize so intimately that angst is half my life's breath until I really considered the specification "no angst" and proceeded to lie on the floor for several hours asking myself how that was possible. For these characters specifically.
When did I become such a monster? u-u
But I did it! I rose to the challenge and found a way. No self-harm, no tragedy, and hopefully no angst. It was fun to write and I enjoyed the prompt immensely. But if some little bits of angst did manage to find their way in through the cracks somewhere, I hope it's nothing traumatic or too distracting. I really tried. ;;w;;
This is set about a month or so after the finale.
'There is no excuse for doing anything which is not strikingly beautiful.'
That was the phrase written on the board in the Student Council office this morning and it was still there now as the school day came to a close. Usually, Akoya would pay it no mind – Arima only maintained the board because he thought it might help everyone feel more productive – but naturally this one had interested him. It was so different from anything he had seen up there before. And when he had pointed it out, the answer he received accompanied by a smile was:
"I came across it the other day and it reminded me of you."
Well, Arima may have said that, but Akoya couldn't help feeling that, in this moment, he was especially unbeautiful. Not that his hair was a mess or that there was something on his face or that his uniform wasn't pristine. To set the record straight, he was an ethereal creature of stunning physical perfection. So, no, that wasn't the problem. The problem itself was in the box on the table before him… and the hidden identity of its sender.
This was just one of many extravagant gifts he had received in the last month, so there shouldn't have been anything particularly special about it. And Akoya kept reminding himself that there wasn't. This gift was no more significant than any other gift he had received so far and he hadn't received it in a remarkable or particularly memorable way either. In fact, the entire ordeal hadn't been much of a grand affair to speak of.
It had started after the culture festival. After the alien conspiracy had revealed Zundar's betrayal and the Caerula Adamas' plans for world conquest had subsequently been laid to rest, the Earth Defense Club and the Student Council buried their arguably one-sided rivalry along with it. And while, that was all well and good for Kusatsu (and he supposed Arima, too), Akoya couldn't help feeling as though everyone else had gotten what they wanted except for him.
He hadn't wanted friendship with those noisy commoners occupying the clubroom next door. And he wasn't content with simply following the President around like a puppy. He had wanted to purge the world of its ugliness and make it beautiful. But since Kusatsu and Arima were his friends, Akoya played along with this peace treaty to make them happy. Akoya cared about them, perhaps more than he let on, but that hadn't made him anymore comfortable with this new arrangement. He felt cheated. Where was his compromise? Where was his reward?
Maybe he hadn't realized how much pretending to be okay with it had affected him until he was greeted one morning by a gorgeous bouquet of thirteen roses settled delicately on his desk. A ribbon had been tied around it in a large bow and a card was nestled inside as if placed there with great care. There had been no name attached, just some words praising his beauty. And, although it had significantly lifted his mood for the day as he sat smugly twirling his hair at the suspicious – Akoya chose to believe jealous – looks Zaou kept sending his way, he hadn't thought much of the incident.
But then, several days later, he opened his locker and found another card tied to a smaller but no less exquisite bouquet – six roses this time – and an ornate bottle of French perfume. The following week, the card and flowers were accompanied by a box of strawberry macarons waiting for him in the cafeteria where he usually sat to eat lunch. And so the pattern continued like that for a while, every few days another gift appearing from his admirer and brightening his day.
It was no secret that Gero Akoya was smitten with the idea of infatuation. He loved the thought of someone being in love with him, of everyone being in love with him, of finding themselves incapable of taking their eyes off his exquisite beauty the same way he found himself drawn to his own image. He had even started to look forward to these gifts because he knew that others would be staring at him, trying to figure out who could be leaving such beautiful presents, wishing to be so admired in his place. But this one box in particular… It really shouldn't have been any different than the other gifts he had received, but it had been on his mind all day and that simply wasn't beautiful at all.
"So, what is it today?" Arima's question interrupted his thoughts.
Akoya put on a smile, but he didn't bother looking up from the papers he was filling out. "Chocolate."
"Ah…" Arima sounded a bit confused. "Actually, I meant the paperwork."
Akoya mentally berated himself for not paying closer attention to the conversation. Of course, Arima was talking about the paperwork Kusatsu had left them. That stupid box had him too distracted, and now he had slipped up and revealed that he was still thinking about it. To Arima, of all people. But it wasn't like this was difficult to turn in his favor. Akoya was an expert at that, after all.
He chuckled coyly and lifted his gaze innocently to meet Arima's eye. "You mean you weren't curious about the contents of this box?" He casually tilted the tip of his pen to point at the package as if to suggest, 'everyone else is, so why shouldn't you be?'
If Arima could tell that Akoya was trying to save face by acting as if this had just been another excuse to brag, he didn't let on. Instead, the Vice President shrugged disinterestedly and said, "Not really." His focus was already on the stack of files he had gathered, but Akoya could tell he was still listening. And, as far as openings went, this one was nearly perfect.
"There were flowers again this time, too," Akoya continued as though he hadn't heard. Eyes narrowing in thought, he watched Arima carefully as the upperclassman made himself comfortable on the couch across from him. "The world is made more beautiful by your presence in it."
"Huh?" Now, Arima looked at him in surprise.
"That's what the card said." Akoya smirked triumphantly at the fact that he had gotten Arima's full attention again. "It's true, isn't it?" He twirled a few strands of hair between his fingers sweetly.
Arima sighed in resignation, tactfully avoiding the question with one of his own. "Have you figured out who's been sending them yet?"
Akoya leaned back into a more relaxed pose. "No." He really didn't see why anyone should expect him to waste his time like that. If a secret admirer wanted to be known, they wouldn't be a secret one. "Does it matter?" he asked. He didn't think it was something worth daydreaming about. At least… not publicly, anyway.
"I suppose not," the Vice President conceded with a deceptively understanding smile. "Attention is attention, no matter who it's from."
"Precisely," Akoya agreed, hoping to end it there.
"But," Arima kept talking and Akoya braced himself, "it's better if it's from someone you like, right? Or are you saying you wouldn't mind if they were from someone like Zaou?"
Akoya almost dropped his pen and he reflexively sat up straighter at the remark.
"…for example," Arima added to soften the blow a little.
"Why would Zaou be my secret admirer?" It was one thing to tease Zaou for staring at him and boasting popularity that Akoya still thought to be greatly exaggerated, but for Zaou to actually like him? He nearly bristled at the thought.
"Anyone who talks about dating that much has to be compensating for something," Arima offered, thumbing through the files in his hands as though making Akoya's head spin wasn't fun for him. "Engaging in a rivalry with you could be a cover. I think I remember hearing that some boys pick on their crushes or leave them anonymous love letters when they don't know how to approach them."
Akoya huffed. No. Absolutely not. Although, in a way, he supposed it would be a bittersweet turn of events… but the possibility was too unbecoming and he suspected Arima knew that very well. A devilish thought struck him then and he perked up somewhat more enthusiastically.
"Perhaps, Naruko-kun has finally been captivated by my beauty," Akoya said and he didn't particularly try to keep the hopefulness out of his voice.
Arima frowned for a second. "But isn't he scrupulous about his money? It's a bit difficult to believe he would spend so much on expensive gifts," he admitted. After all, this was the same person who demanded compensation for the chance to join the Student Council and who spoke of most things in terms of finance.
"Well, I am worth it," Akoya reminded him. "Wouldn't it be fitting for him to spend so much as a secret admirer when he's normally so responsible?"
Naruko-kun seemed to like him and Akoya got the impression that he would be the kind of person to invest more in something he cared about. And most people wouldn't suspect that an admirer with pockets this deep could be someone so frugal!
"I didn't know he was the romantic type," Arima pointed out thoughtfully and then he was smiling again as he added, "Maybe Zaou gave him the advice."
And there it was again – the sound of Arima effortlessly deflating Akoya's bubble. Yes, Arima definitely knew how unbecoming that idea really was. Akoya could never forget that Arima played a game as dirty as he did when it suited him.
"Naruko-kun can be surprisingly charming," Akoya stubbornly argued in a tone that warned Arima that he had better leave it at that. It wasn't impossible for Naruko-kun to think of it without Zaou's help, but Arima was clearly insinuating it to annoy him.
"Okay, okay." Arima held his hands up in defeat and the room fell to silence again.
Akoya returned his attention to his work, which was looking bleaker the more he stared at it. Just like this conversation. Why couldn't Arima just let him have his fun? If he was jealous, he should just say so instead of making Akoya wonder.
"What about Kinshiro?"
Akoya blinked in confusion. "What about the President?"
He should have figured Arima wasn't ready to drop the topic entirely just yet, but he hadn't expected Arima to say that. Then again, most of his expectations had included Arima being less calm about the prospect of someone else being responsible for these gifts. And Akoya wasn't really sure if he should be disappointed or not.
"Maybe he's leaving gifts for you to show his appreciation," Arima elaborated.
Well, it wasn't as if Akoya did nothing for the Student Council and he would like to think that his friends knew he had their best interests at heart, but…
"As a secret admirer?" Akoya raised a delicate eyebrow at the suggestion. That didn't sound like the President at all.
Arima nodded. "You know how he is about his feelings."
Kusatsu may act stone cold, but there was a softness inside him that he was shy about letting people see. He had burned himself once before, after all, and he was understandably nervous about touching that flame again. But Akoya had been watching him lately and was at least glad to know that he was finally opening up now that the issue was being resolved.
"I can't really see Kusatsu-san going through all this trouble," Akoya admitted. Maybe one gift, but certainly not several left over an extended period of time like this. That was a special kind of dedication that he felt didn't quite fit Kusatsu's view of him. "But after what happened with Kinugawa, it wouldn't be the most surprising thing," he conceded.
On the one hand, if the President really was leaving him these gifts, at least it would explain how this secret admirer seemed to know what sort of gifts he liked and where to leave them so he'd find them. But then there was also the matter of the cards, which Akoya found more troubling. They were sort of poetic and… did Kusatsu really think he was beautiful or did he just know Akoya well enough to know what to say to please him? It wasn't like Akoya could ever ask him about it because that might scare him off and then the gifts might stop. Not that it mattered whether or not he asked at all. Akoya would know if it was Kusatsu by graduation anyway.
But Akoya wasn't even sure why he was still thinking so much about this. He hadn't even cared about finding out who the mysterious sender was until today when he read that card. He didn't quite know how to place the feeling it gave him, but it seemed like more than just another compliment of his beauty. The world is made more beautiful by his presence in it?! His own ego aside, that phrasing struck an uncomfortably personal chord with him and Akoya didn't really believe in coincidences.
He gripped his pen tighter in frustration at himself and immediately regretted it when his hand cramped. Perhaps he shouldn't have let his determination to use work as a distraction from his thoughts lead himself to write so aggressively. He should just go home and pamper himself for a while, but the President would be upset with him if he didn't finish his assignments today before he left. At this rate, everything was confusing him and he was starting to feel less useful the longer he went on like this. Aaagh, he didn't deserve this.
His thoughts were temporarily interrupted when he felt the seat cushion next to him dip with the weight of someone sitting down on it.
"May I?"
He glanced over to see Arima pointing at the hand he was rubbing and, when Akoya held it out to him, he took it in both of his hands and began to massage it with his thumbs. Akoya had almost suspected some kind of trick at first, but there was no deceitful look in his eye. He was just helping and Akoya, for one, wanted to know how it was possible for Arima to be so… so perfect.
Arima always did what was asked of him even when Akoya and Kusatsu were particular in their orders, and he hardly complained. He just did it all with a pleasant smile on his face like he actually enjoyed it. And as if that wasn't enough, he went ahead and offered to do more for them. Extra things like this. It was like his own happiness was based in others' happiness, so he doted on them and catered to their every whim.
Akoya knew there was more to Arima than there seemed to be. Arima wore a mask like everyone else, so Akoya understood and accepted that he didn't know much about his friends' personal matters. There were certain things they both kept very close to their chests… just like he did. But beneath the Vice President's calm exterior, Akoya got the impression that he was holding something back. His life couldn't be completely stress-free, especially since he had to mediate touchy situations between his friends on top of everything else he did. So, from the goodness of his own blackened heart, Akoya let Arima tease him.
Of course, it wasn't like Arima didn't tease everyone now and then, but he seemed to enjoy teasing Akoya the most. Probably because of their close proximity and wasn't it true that the cute ones are the most fun to pick on? Arima was well aware of his boundaries, and a few snarky remarks here and there were nothing Akoya couldn't handle. The only reason Akoya let this go on the way it had for so long was the feeling he got that Arima needed the outlet. Besides, he could easily fight back if Arima ever touched a more sensitive nerve – he may be pretty, but he had a mind as sharp as his tongue, after all – and he was sure that hadn't escaped Arima's notice.
And yet, Akoya liked being pampered by his friend, had actually come to anticipate it. Arima was a constant reliable presence and his smile was so charming. Even when he was being devious, Akoya found himself drawn to it. And the way he was so gentle with everyone and everything he handled… Akoya thought maybe he would love to be held so gently.
"…Akoya?"
The sound of his name snapped him out of his thoughts and he noticed Arima watching him inquiringly. It wasn't until then that Akoya realized he had been staring.
"That's enough," he said hastily to hide his embarrassment and removed his hand from Arima's grip. "I feel fine now." Although the cramp was mostly soothed, he did miss the warmth from Arima's hands and the repetitive motions of Arima's thumbs stroking his skin. He turned his attention to something – anything – else, but ended up looking at the box of chocolates again. Something about it kept nagging at him.
"You want to try some?" Arima guessed, "We can take a short break before we get back to work. Would you like me to make tea to go with it?"
Akoya almost said yes, but he stopped himself as another thought occurred to him. "That won't be necessary," he said instead. Having Arima make tea would take too much of Arima's attention for what Akoya wanted him to do next.
"Then, should I feed you instead?" Akoya's eyes widened at the smirk on Arima's face as Arima opened the box and picked out a piece of chocolate from its decorative foil. "I have to take care of our pet, after all."
Akoya tried to look indignant as he accepted the gesture, but it was ruined by the fact that his expression softened at Arima's fond chuckle. He started to wonder if Arima just liked seeing him pout. Not that Akoya would blame him for it. Akoya was proud of the fact that there wasn't a single expression he could pull off that wasn't absolutely beautiful. He didn't practice in front of the mirror for nothing. Anything less than perfect was unacceptable.
"You can have one, too, if you want," Akoya offered once he had recovered his voice.
Arima raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Isn't it rude to the sender to share your gifts with someone else?"
Akoya scoffed. "Is it not rude to refuse a gift that I am so generously sharing with you?" The chocolates were his to do with as he pleased and he was only offering one. It wasn't like he was giving away the entire box.
"I suppose you're right."
Akoya pretended he didn't hear the almost nervous hesitation in that answer. "Besides," he added confidently, "I want your opinion."
"Opinion?" Arima sounded more confused than unsure now.
"Whether or not this secret admirer is worthy of me," Akoya explained. Obviously. He wasn't going to ask if this particular type of chocolate was good. He already knew it was good. It was his favorite. And that was part of the problem.
"Why would you want my opinion?"
"Who else would I ask?"
Wasn't it obvious? Sometimes, Akoya wondered if Arima played dumb on purpose. It wasn't like he could go to Kusatsu with something like this. The President would just say that this sort of thing was a waste of valuable time. And he didn't trust those commoners next door with his personal affairs one bit. They were such an unsophisticated bunch. They couldn't possibly expect to understand him. And Zaou would just try to make him feel bad for "complaining" about all the attention or, worse, he'd try to help.
Arima smiled again and crossed his arms in contemplation. "I thought you would have made up your mind by now that no one is worthy of your beauty."
"They aren't," Akoya immediately replied. It wasn't his beauty he was talking about. It was the rest of him.
"Aah."
Did… Arima not want to tell him? Was that why he was avoiding the question? Or was he just upset about the prospect of eating someone else's chocolate?
Akoya delicately plucked a piece of chocolate out of the box and held it out to his friend. "Here," he insisted, hoping Arima would just take it now that it was practically being forced on him instead of arguing further. He really didn't want to admit he was anxious to see how Arima responded.
But rather than uncross his arms, Arima playfully leaned closer to take the chocolate between his teeth. Akoya very nearly jumped in surprise when he felt Arima lightly kiss his fingertips almost as though it were an accidental brush of his lips as he took a bite and sucked the treat into his mouth.
"Whoever he is, he has fine taste," Arima spoke thoughtfully when he finally sat back again as if nothing unusual had happened.
Akoya's face burned as he realized once again how unfairly easy it was for Arima to leave him feeling flustered… and not entirely in an uncomfortable way either. It wasn't the kind of flustered he had felt when Zaou had nearly exposed him in the woods or when Naruko-kun had then surprised him by removing a leaf from his hair. It was deeper than that.
He knew it was just a game they played, an intricate dance where they had to be reading each other well or else one wrong move or a step too far would leave them both with trampled feet. But that was just it – it felt like being understood and appreciated regardless of what pieces of him were exposed in the process. And Akoya wasn't sure how to feel about that when so much of Arima's true thoughts remained hidden behind his mask. Not that Akoya wasn't guilty of doing the same thing, of course. It just made a situation like a box of chocolates and a love letter far more complicated.
As Ibushi observed the Secretary recoil from him, he noticed the corners of Akoya's mouth turn down in the way that meant he was thinking carefully about something particularly troublesome. He had seen it when Akoya was plotting against the Earth Defense Club, each time Akoya had tied with his fellow pink-haired rival in the Binanshi, and when Kinshiro called Akoya by his loathed family name. And he had started to find it more common following the events of the culture festival.
Ibushi had only been teasing Akoya all this time like he usually did, but if Akoya was really upset about something now, that wasn't going to make the situation any better. The Secretary had brought this subject to his attention for a reason, so Ibushi dropped the act for a moment of genuine concern.
"Is something wrong, Akoya?"
It was unlike him to be so unhappy about receiving praise. Normally, he was so starved for it that he would twist words to find compliments where there were none. It was a kind of self-confidence that Ibushi sort of admired even if he tended to find it bothersome on occasion.
Akoya seemed to think about the question for a moment like he was trying to decide on an answer and Ibushi thought maybe he wasn't sure what the answer was. So, he placed a hand gently on Akoya's shoulder instead to let him know he understood.
"The card was right," he said calmly, watching for the recognition to flicker in Akoya's eyes as he realized Ibushi's meaning. "And you don't have to smile if you don't want to. It might take some time, but they'll understand if you decide to give them a chance."
"Does the President feel this way, too?" Akoya asked curiously.
Ibushi smiled kindly at him. "He wants you to be happy on your own terms."
"I see." Akoya nodded and then relaxed a little under Ibushi's touch. "I think I'll have that tea now."
"Of course." Ibushi gave Akoya's shoulder a light squeeze before releasing him and standing up.
"Arima-san…" Akoya called to him once he'd taken a few steps away. So, Ibushi paused on his way to the tea supplies and looked back over his shoulder at his friend, who was watching him intently. "Thank you."
Ibushi wasn't sure whether Akoya meant for the gifts or for their exchange – the hand massage, the tea, Ibushi taking him seriously instead of laughing at him – or for everything in general that Ibushi did. But this was the first time he could recall the words being said like that, so he supposed it didn't matter what they were for. They were important and he felt much warmer for it.
"You're welcome." He felt his smile widen as he returned to the task at hand.
It hadn't escaped Ibushi's notice lately that Akoya had seemed upset about the conflict between the Caerula Adamas and the Battle Lovers being resolved. Ibushi knew Akoya had wanted to rebuild the Earth to his own standard of beauty, but once they realized that they had been outright lied to about everything, it became obvious that there had never been a place for them or their plans in Zundar's endgame. Although Ibushi was proud of Akoya for being willing to go along with this new alliance for Kinshiro, Akoya's recent behavior had been worrisome. The forced smiles only when the others were paying attention to him and the way he held himself so uncomfortably…
So, Ibushi had started leaving anonymous gifts to make him genuinely smile again and, as he watched Akoya visibly brighten, he realized that he really did love seeing that smile light up Akoya's face. There was something so precious about the unmasked joy and surprise present in it.
Ibushi got the idea that Akoya suspected him of being his admirer, but he thought it was better if the gifts were left secret between them for now. As far as he understood it, their relationship wasn't at a level where Akoya would be comfortable with such a thing being out in the open and Ibushi wanted to be certain that he didn't startle or pressure Akoya into making any kind of decision on the matter. Then, whatever happened could progress naturally and they would still have that safety barrier between them to fall back on in case Akoya started to rethink things.
Besides, Ibushi knew how Akoya felt about him… and confirming his suspicions would ruin the fun of it.
(A/N 2) The quote in the beginning is by William Morris, who was a poet among other things. I don't remember where I found it, but I came across it sometime last year and it screamed Akoya at me (as does quite a bit of this guy's quotes about beauty, actually). From what I remember gleaning from Tumblr, Arima is into all those inspirational quotes and stuff, if that board in the Student Council office is anything to go by, so I thought it was fitting to have him introduce this fic with it… considering it sort of goes with the overall theme. I wonder if Arima is the type of guy who spends hours on Google searching for inspirational messages. XD
In regards to the roses mentioned, according to every source I could dig up, 13 roses signifies "friends forever" and "secret admirer". I thought both of those meanings were appropriate in this scenario. Similarly, 6 roses means several things: one meaning was "I love you" and "I miss you", and another meaning was "infatuation" and something like "I want to date you". Not that Akoya would likely know flower language or think to look it up… but I had to throw all of that in there because Arima using flower language to convey meaning is a thing I'm quite fond of. ^w^
Also, not that this needs saying: the "candy hearts" from the title are figurative (because I'm cheesy like that and choosing titles for my work is the part I'm least good at). XD
