Kick–Ass – Mistakes Are For Children
Dave wonders if he made a mistake after all
Dave was a hero once. He'd been young, foolish and had busted nerve endings that prevented him from feeling the full brunt of his mistakes until it was all too much for him to stand it all. Being young and reckless made him believe it was alright to put on a green suit and run around town fighting people, like a silly boy with no training could truly help anyone.
A little girl who could kill him with a strand of hair taught him otherwise as she saved his life over and over again, as she lost her father in a most horrific manner and remained true to her beliefs, as she shook herself straight and stared into the skyline, wearing a ridiculous outfit and pigtails under her bright purple wig. She'd looked so small and young and innocent, and he felt like a fucking dumbass for ever thinking he could be a hero like her.
The second time he decided it wouldn't be the worst idea in the world to become Kick-Ass, he was a senior in high school, Mindy (forever Hit Girl nevertheless) was a freshman and she was kind enough to beat the shit out of him for a few months to get him in some kind of shape. She was rougher than any football coach, he was pretty darn sure, except she could smile at unsuspecting adults and play cute little girl – though Dave was reasonably sure her daddy had never given her the chance to be just a girl.
Things were better than the first time around, joining a group of like minded people who genuinely wanted to better their society (and not necessarily do it by mindlessly murdering them, like Big Daddy and Hit Girl had been prone to do, back in the day). It was... Nice to feel needed and beloved by everyone, like beating people up while wearing something so tight was worth it.
Then, like any movie sequel, shit blew up in his face when he least expected it to, and he became like Mindy, fatherless and aimless. She at least had the advantage of having a loving and caring adult like Marcus on her side, he had his friends, but it wasn't the same. His mom had been gone for a few years, he was eighteen and there was no going back to a world where being Kick-Ass had no consequences to his life as Dave.
His dad was dead, it was his fucking fault, and no amount of self recrimination was going to change any of it. Mindy could put her hand to his and promise that whatever blood that was spilled would be avenged, that the blood of any one criminal and lowlife would avenge her dad's death, his dad's murder, would make him sleep at night.
Mindy was born and bred to be extraordinary, to believe the world was hers to conquer and bathe in the blood of her enemies and all those who dared think themselves good enough to stand in her way, but Dave was a regular kid, excepting his nerve endings, he might have some courage and boldness in him, however it wasn't enough to pull Mindy to him, to ask her if he could go with her, wherever she was headed.
She'd never been prone to smiles, and he had come to cherish each and every one she bestowed upon him, but it didn't mean he'd ever seen a true one. Perhaps Big Daddy had beaten it out of her a long time ago, or maybe it was never meant to be for her. She wasn't born into a boring existence like Dave, she was always meant to be more, to be bigger than life.
God, why hadn't he followed her? He had little to nothing waiting for him at the end of the day, not even Kick-Ass. Maybe community college, who knew, but... He didn't have his dad to smile at him and encourage him in that gentle, passive manner of his, he didn't have Mindy to kick his ass into gear, he only had- He had himself, and that had never been quite enough, so why should it-
Maybe he should've gone with Mindy after all. Begged her to accept him as her sidekick, as her Robin, and maybe things would've been okay. It would've been a dangerous, stupid as fuck move, but at least he wouldn't be feeling like his life had ended just like that and there was nothing he could possibly do to restart it.
As he looked out the window during class one day, he wished Mindy was okay, that the cops hadn't managed to get to her, that Hit Girl was living another day, terrorizing drug dealers, chopping off rapists' hands and shooting murderers in the eye, just being the kind of hero he wished he had the balls to be. But maybe it was okay to be just Dave.
If he couldn't be Kick-Ass, he should probably consider being the best Dave he could be. It was all he had left, anyway.
