my first fanfic for this anime..please review


I was once sad and lonely,
Having nobody to comfort me,
So I wore a mask that always smiled;
To hide my feelings behind a lie.

Nobody could hear my cries at night
For I designed my mask to hide the lies.
Nobody could see the pain I was feeling
For I designed my mask to be laughing.

Behind all the smiles were the tears
And behind all the comfort were the fears.
Everything you think you see,
Wasn't everything there was to me.

Until now I'm still searching
For the thing that'll stop my crying.
For someone who'll erase my fears,
For the person who'll wipe my tears.

But till then I'll keep on smiling.
Hiding behind this mask I'm wearing.
Hoping one day I can smile,
Till then, I'll be here.. waiting.


{After end of school festival-backstage}

"Is it okay for you to act like that? Become hated by others," ask his homeroom teacher, Shizuka-sensei.

"I'm already used to this kind of pain. Furthermore, it's my way to continue this life in these society. Furthermore, who else want to carry this burden? Like you said before Sensei, we need an enemy in the group to move forward." Said Hikigaya. His expressions give different meaning than his words. He looks hurt, pained and lonely.

Shizuka smile bitter to him. She know that his precious student never intend to hurt others. It just that his way to help others differ than normal human, which he using the inverse way to comfort or help others. Slowly, she creased Hikigaya's face.

"You should stop carry this burden by yourself and continuously hurting yourself. You should know that you're not only hurting yourself, but others surrounding you." Said Shizuka as she walk away, letting Hikigaya think about.

"It's not that I'm hurting myself. It just my own way and I'll never intend to change." Said Hikigaya by himself.

'Lonely and being a loner become a custom for me. Since in kindergarten, I always am alone. It is not that I go into seclusion but for some reason, people dislike me. My existences become nuisance to the society. Either in the class or in the small group, I always being sequestered. Being treated, as I'm not existed among them and continuously violated either mentally or physically make me become more and more hurt. Living in-group only suffocate me. Breath in the same environment within them are suck. It is not my fault that I grow become unsociallize, cold-hearted and ignorance. These worlds make me become like this.' Thought Hikigaya as he continues his work in cleaning the stage.

As he absorb in his works, Hikigaya does not sense the dark emitted at the corner of the hall. At the back of the hall, standing a person, holding grudge to him.

"I'll make him paid and feel the humiliation that I feel." Said that person as walk out of the hall.

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thanks for reading it..

my apologize if there have grammar mistake...

should i continue it?

feel free to review..