Artemis Fowl was a genius. A child prodigy, exceptionally gifted, a mastermind, whatever you wish to call him. He had written many medical articles under pseudonyms, faked masterpieces and even discovered the fairy community. Some say he could do anything. However, he never quite learned to work out the hearts of girls.

x.x.x

It was a month after he had returned from Hybras, and Artemis Fowl's life was beginning to look hopelessly boring once more.

'Artemis!' called his mother, Angeline Fowl. Artemis sighed and followed the call of her voice.

'What is it, mother?' he asked.

'Tomorrow we are going to have guests,' she told a rather irritated Artemis.

'Yes, mother,' he said, turning to leave. He had work to do… and he didn't really need to know that guests were coming over. His parents always had guests over - Artemis simply stayed in his room. Occasionally he would have to put the twins to sleep, but he never really was involved with the visitors.

'I want you to be at dinner with us,' said Angeline.

'Whatever for?' asked Artemis. 'You know I don't like acquainting myself with guests.'

'Your father and I decided it would be good for you to socialise a little.'

'I don't particularly wish to socialise,' said Artemis.

'It's not a matter of whether you want to or not,' said Angeline, in a firmer tone. 'You are going to, young man. The CEO of the mining company Ashford mining is visiting - and he has a daughter around your age. They are going to be staying here for a few months.

Artemis never used an exclamation mark and a question mark in the same sentence, but he decided now was one of the best times to do so if he wanted to.

'Why must they stay here?' he asked.

'They need a secure location,' said Angeline, 'and the hotels in Ireland are horrible, as you very well know.'

'There are many other secure locations,' said Artemis.

Angeline gave him a disapproving look.

'Your father is also trying to strike a deal with him, and he believes it will be better to be very hospitable to the man. They are staying here,' said Angeline, with a firm tone.

Artemis' little twin sisters chose the tense moment to come running in.

'Arty!' said Eve, hugging him around the knees. Zoe did the same around his other leg. Artemis sighed deeply.

The twins only reached up to his knees, and though at times were very cute, they could also be very annoying.

'I expect you at dinner,' said Angeline, walking away. Artemis sighed again. It wasn't that he wasn't happy to see his family again after his absence after saving the eighth family of fairies, the demons, but life was becoming rather boring once again. He found he was quite addicted to excitement and adventure.

'Daddy said he had some chocolate for you,' he told the twins. They looked up at him with cute, round eyes as their faces broke into smiles.

'Yay!' said Zoe, running off, Eve following after.

Artemis sighed. Before the twins came along, he would not have been caught dead saying 'daddy'. Now, it was almost routine.

He walked back up to his room, closing the door.

He stuck out his finger and thumb, twisted his ring and began to talk into his little finger.

'Hey Holly,' he said.

'Hey Artemis!' came Holly's reply. 'How've you been?' she asked.

'Good,' said Artemis. 'You?' he asked, reprimanding himself inside. The word you by itself was not, by definition, a sentence. Had he lost half his brains in the time tunnel?

'I'm good,' she replied. 'Any reason for the call, or did you just want to say hi?'

'Do I need a reason to talk to an old friend?' he asked, chuckling slightly.

'No,' said Holly. 'You'll never guess what Mulch did this time…' said Holly, and with that they plunged into over an hour of pleasant conversation.

x.x.x

Artemis put on his favourite Armani suit, and wore a striking blue tie - one that matched the colour of his eyes. He had bought a blue contact lens to disguise the hazel eye he had obtained from Holly in the tunnel.

He took one last look in the mirror then wondered why he cared about his appearance so much. He didn't even want to go to dinner, did he?

But then he remembered his mother's words.

he has a daughter around your age.

Artemis cursed puberty. It was getting worse by the day. He could hardly even talk to Holly properly.

He walked downstairs and sat in the living room, waiting for the guests to arrive. Artemis Fowl I and Angeline were doing the same.

'You do look handsome,' said Angeline, smiling and pinching one of Artemis' cheeks.

'Mother, please,' said Artemis.

The doorbell rang and they were greeted by 3 people at the door. There was a man in his mid-fifties, rather overweight with a wobbling belly that was encased in a suit. There was a woman in her late forties wearing a red skirt and white shirt. Artemis had to commend her on her choice of clothing; the shirt was nicely tailored and the skirt looked designer.

The last person was a girl of around 14 years old, wearing a little black dress. She had long red hair, bottle green eyes and pretty features.

Artemis sighed. He hated puberty.

'Why good evening, Mr Ashford,' said Artemis Fowl I, shaking the hand of the man.

'Good evening Mr Fowl,' said Mr Ashford. 'Thank you for your hospitality.'

'It's my pleasure,' said Artemis Fowl I. 'Do come in.'

The three of them followed the Fowl family in.

'Do sit down,' said Artemis Fowl I, motioning for his guests to sit first.

They did so, Mr Fowl sitting at one end of the table and Mr Ashford at the other. Angeline Fowl sat next to the woman who was presumably Mrs Ashford, leaving Artemis to sit next to the girl.

'Artemis Fowl,' he said, holding his hand out to the girl.

'Ismene Ashford,' she said, shaking his hand and smiling at him. He suddenly felt nervous and excited at the same time.

Ismene, he thought, at first. Comes from the Greek word for knowledge. And then - For goodness' sake!

'You're name is the same as your father's?' she asked. Artemis nodded.

'Rather cliché, I know,' he said.

'Contrarily, not many sons have the same name as their fathers. Seeing as 60 of baby names are chosen by the mothers of children,' she said.

'Ah,' said Artemis, nodding.

'Ireland is quite a country,' said Ismene.

'I'm glad you think so,' said Artemis. 'What do you like about it?'

'The air is cleaner - everything seems to be. In America, everything is modern and technological, and yet, so much dirtier and cluttered. Here, everything seems pristine,' she said.

'That's an accurate observation,' said Artemis. 'I must say that I don't personally like America myself.'

'You've been to America?' she asked.

'Briefly,' he said. To save the fairy world from being overturned by a megalomaniac, he finished in his head.

There was silence for a few seconds.

'I love that painting,' she said, pointing to one of Artemis' favourite works of Impressionist art.

'It is a beautiful work, isn't it?' he asked.

'Monet was a genius,' she said. 'His paintings were so full of life.'

'And they conveyed so much so concisely,' said Artemis.

'You are a fan of Impressionist art?' she asked him.

'Yes. As are you, I presume?' he asked.

She nodded excitedly. 'I've never met someone my age that enjoys Impressionist art before,' she said. 'And the adults that do think I'm just a child and can't understand the art.'

Artemis nodded. He had a feeling he was going to be good friends with this girl. And Artemis Fowl is almost always right. Almost always.