NOTE: No sense. No plot. No sanity. Just one of those things that hit in the middle of the night after being awake too long and high on coffee and cigarettes.

STEALING SPLEENS

            "Nagi, get off the computer!"

            "When I'm ready!"

            "Nagi, now!"

            "Piss off!"

            Schuldig came flying through the door and grabbed Nagi's chair, sending it rolling towards the wall, and wrapped both arms around Nagi's waist, pulling him away from the computer. Nagi latched onto the monitor with both hands, dragging it across the desk.

            "Let go of meeeee!" Nagi wailed.

            "Let go of the monitor!"

            "You let go first!"

            "No!"

            The monitor slid further, tightening the cords that attached it to the tower and its printer, USB hub, scanner, spare harddrives, network hub, speakers, microphone, and webcam.

            "You're going to destroy my computerrrrr!" Nagi wailed, clinging to the monitor.

            "You are destroying your computer! Give it up, Nagi!" Schuldig gave the boy another tug. Nagi suddenly was incredibly heavy, and Schuldig realized he was holding Nagi, who was holding the monitor, which was no longer on the desk, cords stretched taut.

            "Let go, Nagi!"

            "I hate youuuuuuuu!!" Nagi howled.

            "Whyyyyy?!" Schuldig cried out in frustration. "Why meeeee?"

            "Put me down and I'll put down the monitor," Nagi offered.

            "Done."

            *THUD SLUUUP CRASH*

            "I HATE YOU, SCHULDIG!! My computerrrrrr!"

            "You're...still holding the monitor..."

            "I said put me down, not drop me! My computer is ruined!"

            "Let go of the monitor."

            Nagi glared up at Schuldig as his eyes narrowed. "You want me to let go of the monitor? FINE!"

            "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh-!!"*CRASH*

            Crawford walked into the doorway, irritated by the screaming and crashing, knowing that meant 'expensive'. Nagi sat on the floor, his computer tower having been ripped out the back of the desk, and all the accessories lay scattered on the floor. Schuldig was crumpled against the wall a couple feet away, monitor in his lap.

            Crawford closed his eyes as if trying to find a happy place.

            "It's his fault." Nagi pouted.

            "This has to hurt God," said a raspy voice by Crawford's side.

            "Schuldig, get up. Nagi, stop pouting and get up. Farfarello...as you were."

            Farfarello grinned at Crawford as Nagi got up, sniffling.

            "Assassins do not cry over computers, Nagi. Assassins replace them."

            "But it had all my stuff stored on it..."

            "Later. ...Schuldig!"

            "I think Nagi broke my spleeeeen!"

            "Farfarello can get you a new one. Let's go."

            "Stealing spleens hurts God."