It happened in the summer holidays. She could still smell the sickly sweet smell of pot. Sweat. The scent of alcohol, oozing from his pores. And she could still hear the sound of his heavy breathing. And the loud, rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall. She could still feel his cold hands, crawling all over her skin. And she could still feel the pain, like being ripped open from the inside. But what scared her most of all was she could still see his face, everywhere she went.
It wasn't really her fault, but she thought it was. She shouldn't have gone to that party. She shouldn't have trusted him. And the worst thing was, she had no one to turn to, no one to confide in. She tried to push the incident, 'it', out of her mind.
And everything was okay, for a while. She stayed at home for the rest of the holidays, hardly ever emerging from her dark, stuffy room, not even for meals. Either her mother didn't notice, or didn't really care. She was fine when she was alone, where there was nothing to remind her of 'it'. But too soon, the holidays ended, and it was time to go back to Hogwarts for her sixth year.
She sat, alone in an empty carriage, resting her forehead against the cool glass window. Her eyes were heavy; she hadn't slept properly since 'it' happened.
"I believe in miracles! Where you from? You sexy thing!" Sirius Black sang loudly in her ear. She jumped out of her seat. "Hey baby! What's up?"
Melody smiled weakly. "Hey, you." She saw the rest of his gang pile in, James, Remus and Peter. Sirius and James sat on either side of her, while Remus and Peter sat opposite.
"So how were your holidays?" James asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. Melody stiffened, inhaling his inherently manly smell. She tried to shrug him off, but he only held on tighter. "Hey, what's up Mel?" James queried. Melody struggled, panicking and finally broke free. She bolted out of the carriage, her eyes already filling with hot, angry tears.
Alone again, locked inside the bathroom, she was filled with rage - but she wasn't sure why. She gazed up at the ceiling, refusing to let any tears fall from her She gazed at herself in the mirror. She didn't even recognise herself. She was lifting her hand to brush her long, obviously fake blonde hair out of her heavily mascara'd eyes, when she saw blood trickling from her palm. Her fists were clenched so tightly, she'd gouged her palms with her perfectly manicured fingernails. And she didn't even feel it. She shook her head and ran her hands under the tap, washing the blood away.
She closed the bathroom door quietly behind her and walked right into the arms of Remus Lupin. She froze for a second, looked into his caring, thoughtful eyes, and nearly burst into tears. She jumped backwards, away from him.
"Sorry." She shrugged and attemped a laugh.
"It's okay." He said genuinely. "Are you good?"
"Yeeahh.." She breathed.
"Are you mad at James or something?"
"N-no. I just, um," she shrugged, "I don't know..." She trailed off, awkwardly.
"Uhh.. 'Kay.." Remus stood there awkwardly also, not able to think of anything to say. "Shall we go back then?
When questioned by the others she brushed it off, blaming it on 'womanly problems', which quickly shut all four adolescent boys up. Their faces flushing a bright red, the subject swiftly moved on to more manly things. Left to herself, Melody resolved to keep her emotions locked up tightly. There was no point letting anybody know, it wasn't even a big deal. It happened to people all the time. She was one of the lucky ones. At least she was alive. So she didn't want anybody's pitying looks, or worse, their looks of contempt as they imagined how Melody would have brought it on herself. Or even worse, they wouldn't believe her at all, thinking her just an attention seeking liar.
A lot of people hated Melody. She didn't really understand why. It could be they were jealous, although she really wasn't that special. She was very pretty, but a lot of that was to do with make up and hair product. She had always been slender and tanned, but she was losing that as she became less interested in sports and more interested in boys. She was also very smart, although no one really knew that. Occasionally she would get good marks but she never really bothered. She'd never studied once in her life, but in her fifth year had managed to scrape by with mostly A's and E's, and the occasional O.
She didn't really have any good friends. She had accquaintances, like her Gryffindor roommates, Lily Evans, Sophie Brown and Doris Patterson, but she didn't even really like them that much. She especially disliked 'Little Miss Perfect' Lily Evans. She also had 'The Marauders', who were entertaining usually, but kind of annoying the rest of the time. So she had people to hang out with when she felt like it, and that was okay with her.
Melody didn't feel like she really fit in anywhere, if she was honest with herself. She was in Gryffindor, the house of chivalry and daring. She wasn't exactly sure why she had been placed into that house. But there was nowhere else she would have fit in better. She did value beauty, but she wasn't too fussed about wit or wisdom, or any other of the Ravenclaw values. She was muggle-born, which didn't necessarily rule out Slytherin, but that did require ambition, something she lacked. Hufflepuff - well known for honestly, loyalty and tolerance, none of these qualities she possessed. So the only house left for her was Gryffindor, but she didn't actually feel like she belonged; she wasn't brave at all.
Her thoughts were interupted by the train jolting, announcing their arrival to Hogwarts.
She faked a wide smile and linked arms with Remus Lupin and Sirius Black as they made their way to the castle.
