Hello my loyal readers!
I know it's been a while. Life has gotten in the way and i've suffered a couple losses in my family so haven't had a chance to really focus on much until recently. Now i'm in a better place, I am 100% back to getting this story up.
I have had a few chapters written back before the first story in the series ended. It's funny for me to go back and read this. Mitchie's heart break continues right from where we left off. It's funny because i've been left heart broken recently and I don't know how I feel about how I wrote Mitchie being heart broken prior to me experiencing that myself. Purely because I cannot explain in words how heart break truly feels.
I may re-write now accordingly the next couple chapters.
I hope you enjoy this, here is the first chapter of You're My Crack Of Sunlight.
This is the sequel to my earlier story, You Make Me Beautiful.
One
Mitchie was floating. Floating in limbo between the reality that was her life and the life that included all the fame.
She was numb.
Miles from home on a private jet somewhere over the South Pacific Ocean, she is trying her best to get her thoughts in order. Trying her best to hold it all together for the South American portion of the tour because she couldn't let her fans down.
A crack of sunlight streams through the window across her face and she slams the shutter down and brings her knees up to her chest. It was still odd this lifestyle. It was all America and the rest of the world saw her as though...Mitchie Torres.
Correction. They all saw her as Shane Gray's girlfriend who sang. And the mere thought that Shane was no longer her boyfriend makes her want to cry. Feeling the tears sting in her eyes, she buries her face into a pillow and tries to drown out Caitlyn and Brown's conversation.
She's more than relieved that they both won't mention his name, that they won't ask about him right then and there where she had no where to escape. Brown was still trying to figure out what had happened but wouldn't press Mitchie for details. He didn't know what was going on, her eating disorder, the pregnancy scare or even the break up.
The only person she wanted approval from was him. She didn't need the world always commenting and judging her. The world could stop for all she could care as long as she had him. And she didn't and it still hurt so much more than she thought it ever could.
The diamond ring he gave her is still on her finger, she just couldn't bare to take it off just yet. It's like if she did it would make it real, like it would mean it really was over for good.
And after what feels like eternity, the plane lands and as Mitchie shoves her sunglasses on she really has no idea how the media will react to her down here, has no idea what to expect.
The fact that she only had received contact from Shane finally just before they were up in the air, feels like she's taken a bullet to the chest. It's like she's forgotten everything about him but nothing at the same time.
The airport is crazy as they pull in, there are fans absolutely everywhere and airport security has to usher her straight off the tarmac and through the back of the airport. Luckily her first show wasn't until the following night as she was exhausted.
She is ushered into a black van and swept off to her hotel she turns her phone back on and brings up the text message from Shane again.
'I miss you too, but it's over.'
Caitlyn is looking at her sadly and Mitchie cannot help herself, "Shane finally has messaged me." Hands Caitlyn her phone so she can read the message.
Sighing, Caitlyn hands it back to her a few seconds later, "Shane loves you. He will come to his senses."
Mitchie just isn't so sure.
Arriving at their hotel there is easily a couple hundred fans out the front behind barricades with security everywhere. How they knew the hotel, Mitchie had no idea. She hadn't even been told where she was staying. She just did this thing now as a celebrity where she shows up where she's taken.
Emerging from the van, there's this sea of screams from her fans and Mitchie approaches and signs for a few minutes before security pulls her away and ushers her inside.
It's crazy that they're all here just for her. And really it makes her feel a tiny bit better.
...
Arriving at the venue the next night, Mitchie lets out a huge sigh and she isn't sure if Caitlyn is just too scared to say something wrong or if she just doesn't know what to say. With her sunglasses on she makes her way into her dressing room and sits down at the mirror.
"Mitchie, did you want me to do your hair tonight?" Caitlyn asks, grabs out her curling iron.
She nods pathetically, afraid any words she says may result in her crying and she just sits there on her phone and stares at the background which is still of her and Shane. She hasn't been able to change it, hoping he'd call. Hoping he wanted to try again.
And she's still completely heartbroken but really, she's angry. Angry he won't talk to her, angry that he wouldn't fight for her.
The only people who knew about their break up was their immediate family and closest friends, they were the only ones who knew why she was barely able to function, why she couldn't help but want to just break down crying. The media knew none the wiser.
There's this silence in the air as Caitlyn curls a strand of her hair and she knows already that Shane hasn't said much to anyone but Nate, just that she needed to get better, that she had to put things into perspective. And she wants to, she really does.
She hasn't been sick since that awful morning she thought she was pregnant, when everything turned to hell. But she hasn't exactly been eating much at all. She hasn't had an appetite to.
"I don't know how it's going to be tonight. On stage singing songs about him." Mitchie finally speaks by the time Caitlyn is finished and Caitlyn just pauses, stares at her through the reflection in the mirror.
Caitlyn hugs her from behind, "You will be great out there tonight. If you cry on stage it'll just show everyone how amazing you are."
"If i'm crying through a break up song maybe, but not a love song."
"You do what you have to do. Be open with your fans if you think that's what is best."
By the time she's been raised up onto the stage an hour or so later she fakes a smile on her face, the first convincing one in the past couple weeks, microphone in hand as she belts out the notes to her opening song.
Burying the pain inside, she goes on and the crowd just lift her spirits completely. Have her feeling so overwhelmed and thankful only a few songs into her set. They knew none the wiser.
As a stage hand gives her, her guitar for the next song, she heads to a microphone in a stand at the centre of the stage and just takes in the audience for a moment before speaking, "Chile, this is my first ever time here and you have made me feel so welcome. I cannot thank you guys enough for changing my week, for lifting my spirits. Seeing you all out here tonight, singing along to my songs and dancing along really is just such an amazing feeling and I am so entirely grateful." She pauses for just a moment before continuing, "This next song I wrote about a relationship where the world just never let us be alone. It's currently tearing me apart now because I flew down here on my own...this is the first city that i've played since I got my heart broken and you guys have made me feel so much better."
And she's said it, it's out there for all to hear and will be on all the blogs within a matter of minutes she is sure. She starts to play the song as the audience almost deafens her and thanks god for the ear pieces in her ears, she begins to play and only lets a few tears fall.
She doesn't even care what her management will say.
…
The moment she's offstage, Brown is looking at her with this look on his face that makes her regret what she did.
"Love..." He trails off.
"I'm sorry, it just felt right." She excuses herself rather pathetically.
"As your manager i'm all for that...as Shane's uncle, not so much."
"I'm sorry." She repeats and is surprised when he hugs her.
"Things are going to be crazy now, I hope you're ready."
By the time she's back at her hotel, there are all these reports online suggesting she and Shane have ended their relationship. As soon as a video of her announcement at the concert surfaces online would confirm it.
Hot Tunes is reporting on their site that Shane has left her for one of his exes and as bad as it sounds, Mitchie doesn't care if people believe it.
The call from the label twenty minutes later freaks her out and she hesitantly answers it.
"It it true you and Shane have ended things?"
"Yes...and it was mutual decision. It just didn't work."
"It probably wasn't worth announcing it at a concert Mitchie, it probably would have been best if the two of you approached us so we could release a statement. I've had a call from Hot Tunes suggesting that Shane left you for someone else. I take it this isn't true?"
"No, it's not."
"Mitchie, I honestly am sorry to hear it."
Mitchie doesn't know if he is genuinely sorry or if he's sorry that they're no longer together because they were this young power couple together who sold music and filled seats in arenas for him.
"Thank you."
"Could you please release your own statement to clear up Shane hasn't done anything wrong? If he wasn't on our label i'd be all for the world believing what they want, but he's still signed to me."
And what is Mitchie supposed to say? No? She can't, so she agrees and thanks him again before hanging up the phone.
She messages Caitlyn telling her she needs company and it's a couple minutes later Caitlyn is at her door.
"I have to tweet to confirm the break up...not make Shane look like the bad guy in all this."
After typing a few messages into the notes section on her phone she finally decides on one and gives it to Caitlyn to approve.
"I'd like to clear some things up," Caitlyn reads aloud, "Shane and I have ended our relationship and it was a mutual decision. It didn't work out but we will remain friends as we initially were. Secondly, he definitely did not leave me for anyone else. I just thought you all should know this, my fans are everything to me and I want you to know the truth."
"Is it okay?" Mitchie asks.
"Considering the circumstances, yes." Caitlyn replies with a sad smile.
Hitting the button to send it to her five million fans, Mitchie switches her phone off and just lays in her bed unable to move for the night. Her mind won't switch off.
…
Mitchie has the next day off to travel to Colombia and do some touristy things with Caitlyn and Carrie. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't upset still, but she puts a smile on her face and tries to make the best of the situation.
After getting back to their hotel that night, she really is loving Columbia already for some reason. Getting ready for bed she has a shower and comes out to find Caitlyn looking at her cautiously.
"Just say it."
"It looks like Shane has had his orders too from the label. He's done a radio interview and of course it's on the internet now."
Mitchie sighs and tells her to play it, closes her eyes as Scott McDean (the radio host) introduces Shane.
"Today we have Connect 3 in the studio with us. They will be heading off on a big European tour next month."
The questions go on and sure enough Shane is asked about her.
"Shane, we're sorry to hear things didn't work out between you and Mitchie."
"Thank you. We were best friends before heading into a romantic relationship and right now I just care about our friendship. She's always been there for me and I will always be there for her. It obviously isn't going to be easy but I know we will get back to where we were before."
"And it must be hard the fact that you're going to be over in Europe touring together for a couple months together."
"It could have been better timing, but we are both professionals and I never ever want to lose Mitchie's friendship."
Mitchie hasn't even realised she was crying until Caitlyn hands her a tissue, "Thank you." She whispers.
And she honestly has no idea how she's supposed to deal being on tour with Shane and singing love songs with him in front of thousands. She's not entirely sure how she's going to be able to deal being around him and not being able to call him hers.
For what seems the longest time she sits by the hotel window, just gazing out at the sky. She's trying her best not to break down. She just feels so empty and so lost.
Finally she takes the ring from Shane off her finger and she immediately just feels naked.
Her heart was gone and she wasn't getting it back.
What did you think? I've used some actual quotes from Demi herself in this chapter.
I hope you liked it and there is more to come!
Xox
