A/N:

I'm reposting this story under the same title but it's been completely reworked so far. I have rewritten up to chapter 6, but you won't see that many right aways as I would like to stay ahead of the game when it comes to having a couple of chapters pre-written and ready to post while I'm completing a new chapter.

If you have already read the original story, I would suggest re-reading as I post the chapters as I have changed some things and added a lot more detail.

Every chapter is named after a song, just as the show does for each epidsode and that song will be featured throughout each chapter.

And last but certainly not least, reviews are really important for me. They are what keeps the story going because they keep me creative. So, I need you to review and let me know what you think. I will not tell you final pairings or what I'm going to do. Although I appreciate why some authors will tell you not to worry about your fav couple etc., I won't do that because if I told you everything would be just fine between so and so, then why would you really want to continue reading if you know how everything's going to work out anyways? You can ask, but my lips are sealed. You can make suggestions and I may or may not use them as the story is already created in my mind.

Thanks to Vicky who has re-read my chapters to date and helped pick out any oddball sentances or inconsistancies.

Jenna

I do not own One Tree Hill or any of it's characters. I do own any characters I develop/create.


"This Bitter Pill"

"What do you mean it's over?" She asked, sounding defeated, through teary bloodshot eyes. How was this happening she thought to herself, they'd been so happy, she thought they'd been so happy… where did it all go wrong? Peyton slowly sat down on the bed, never tearing her eyes away. She wanted to look away more than anything; however it was proving to be an impossible task at the present moment.

Walking away.
It's not the same as running.
Is it to you now that you've run in this ground.

"I mean, it's over," He said in frustration. He hated to see the hurt in her eyes, the defeat, it wasn't her, and she'd never looked that defeated. Peyton had always been so strong, she'd been through so much and survived it all, but now she looked crushed, lost, that glimmer in her eyes, gone... "Look Peyt, we don't belong together, we just don't fit. It's been two years of us trying, fighting to keep things together. Please believe me, I love you, I always will... but this... us…" He motioned between them. "It's just…" This was the hardest thing he'd ever done. "It's just… Look Peyton, I never got over her and let's face it, you never got over him either. If anything last night proved that, along with all the other times it's happened that I chose to ignore. I'm so sorry; I really never thought it would come to this…"

He couldn't understand why she chose to bury her feelings for her true love so deep. Why she made herself be content with someone she wasn't in love with. She shouldn't be so scared of this. Peyton needed to step out of her comfort zone and take a real risk, rather than playing it safe by always choosing her 'hero'.

And you say take this.
This medicine is just what you deserve.
Swallow, choke, and die.

"This is wrong Luke… so wrong…" Her voice trailed off sadly. "We fought so hard for each other." At least that's what she always told herself. Even though when she was really honest with herself she knew it was a lie. She wanted to believe more than anything that Lucas was the one for her. She had to tell herself that daily after everything she lost to get him as hers.

Peyton knew herself to be a coward. That's what she was, in the true sense of the word. She hid behind Lucas because he was safe. He was her 'hero'. Peyton loved him, she never questioned that aspect. However, it wasn't an epic love, she wasn't in love with him. Sadly for her however, he was now admitting that after these past two years and she'd have to step out into the real world to face her demons. To hell with that! She thought to herself. Peyton knew that if she could just get Lucas to listen to her, he would be hers for the long haul. The right words just needed to come out, to be said to him. So what if they weren't in love. They loved each other and that was enough. Wasn't it?

And this bitter pill is leaving you
with such an angry mouth.
One that's void of all discretion
such an awful tearing sound.

"We've been through this Peyt. I can't ignore my feelings anymore and neither can you." He really had hoped she wouldn't argue this even though if he was realistic, he knew she would. Someone had to take this step and end the façade and after two years it looked as though he would have to be the one to end it. "As I said… And especially after last night. Did anyone ever tell you, you talk in your sleep?"

And just like that she fell silent, she felt like she was going to drown in the memory that flooded back so fast she couldn't breath.

Lying in bed, Peyton looked over at Jake who was standing in the doorway staring out a nearby window. "Jake, you okay?"

"Jake just looked down at the ground and back towards her slightly, "You know you talk in your sleep?"

Closing her eye's Peyton half chuckled "Uh… Yeah, I'm sorry".

As Jake turned against the doorframe he knew he needed to get this out. "I've been sitting awake, wrestling with the feeling that…" he paused slightly, building the courage to utter the rest of his thought. "You need to go back to Tree Hill." Peyton just looked at him shocked, awaiting an explanation. 'You shouldn't stay here," Jake continued "you can't".

Peyton was flabbergasted. All she could come up with was "Why? What happened?" sounding slightly desperate. She had no idea of what to expect next.

"You talk in your sleep Peyton." It was so sad. So final. But how could that phrase be that final, it made no sense. So what if she talked in her sleep? What did that have to do with anything?

"Okay so, wha-, so what? I don't… I don't understand…" Trying to take everything in and attempting to form a semi coherent thought seemed beyond her at that moment. "…I mumble a few words in my sleep. I mean, what I say was really that bad? Did I say I wanted to kill you or something?" Finally, the words left her mouth.

While turning to look at her "No, you said I love you…"

Peyton started smiling, relieved and trying to contain a giggle at his very backwards reasoning. "Okay, well normally that's a good thing…"

Jake just spit it out, he couldn't drag this out any longer. His heart was shattering into smaller and smaller pieces with each word. "You said I love you, Lucas." A heartbreaking sadness flowed from his eyes.

With it's measure only equal by the power of my stare
glaring over you and over you this feeling of despair
is never wearing out.

"I can't believe this!" She screamed at him. Now she was just plain angry. How in the hell could this be happening again? It wasn't possible. Not twice within one person's lifetime and certainly not some messed up rectangle between Jake, herself, Lucas and Brooke. It had been two years since high school ended, he chose her after the state championship, not Brooke. Was he really changing his mind yet again? Peyton really thought all of this was over, Brooke had moved on, her and Lucas were happy together, or at least that what she thought. If she were to face reality however, she would be able to see the truth. She just didn't want to, couldn't in fact, face reality. That was too much to handle for her.

"Where is all of this coming from Luke? Have you been seeing her or something?" She was desperate for answers. Why now? What brought this on?

Lucas' mouth dropped to the floor with that question, although he should have foreseen it. His buried reputation with the two girls would have to rear its head.

"Lucas!" Peyton had snapped again "I asked if you'd been seeing Brooke or something..."

It's wearing off
and it's leaving you with such a heavy heart
and a head to match.

Peyton was completely up and down right now, but how could he blame her. "No Peyton, of course not." Lucas replied with sadness in his eyes, "I would never do that to you."

Petyon stopped him, cut him off mid sentence. "You? You could never do that to me? Are you freaking kidding me?!?" This was unbelievable. He'd done it with her, to her best friend. "Once a cheater, always a cheater Lucas… That's what they say right? I mean you could do it to the girl who's apparently the one for you but not to me?" This was a sick joke. He was not even going to dare arguing this point with her. Lucas must have been seeing Brooke on the side, he must have…

Lucas just looked down at the floor, once again his past coming to bite him in the ass. All he could do was tell her the truth and if she chose not to believe him, well there wasn't much he could do about that. "The last time I so much as talked to Brooke was just before she left for LA."

Peyton started sobbing "Fine Luke, just leave then, like everyone else in my life. I'm not going to beg you to stay with me."

The bottle is waiting
the cap is twisted begging to be used
and so are you.

"Peyton…" Luke started to say

"Don't Luke, just DON'T!"

He'd already packed his bags and put them in the car, this needed to be as clean a break as possible.

"If you need anything Peyt... I'm staying at my mom's okay?" The last words, just before he walked out the door. Peyton didn't answer him though, at least not audibly, just silently thought to herself, "I need you Luke, you."

And this bitter pill is leaving you
with such an angry mouth.
One that's void of all discretion
such an awful tearing sound.
With its measure only equal by the power of my stare
glaring over you and over you this feeling of despair
is never wearing out.


So that's chapter 1. 'This Bitter Pill' is a great song by Dashboard Confessionals..