Loras slammed the car door as hard as he could to show his annoyance, before rushing into the house. Once the pleasantries were over with the uniformed lady which greeted them, Loras asked the keys to his room, saying he would take the tour later and rushed two flights up and into the room he had been given, avoiding everybody else. He heard knocking soon after, then the voice of his mother asking him to be reasonable and understanding. Loras smirked at that. Yeah, they expected him to understand and reason out everything, while they just decided whatever they wanted even when it was his life they were dealing with.
Why? Because they were the parents, they always knew best and they always made the best decision for their family. Because children sometimes didn't know that they were on the wrong path. Children were young and naïve, and parents needed to guide them through. Even when said child was not a baby but a sixteen year old, practically a grown man already.
It was all bullshit to Loras, who thought it was just parents trying to force their opinions and enforce their veto power over their kids. Parents always had all the say, their word was final no matter what the children had to say and if you even tried to argue you were considered to be in denial or rebellious.
It was dictatorship, where the parents ruled over the family and none of the children can argue back.
How could children even protest to anything when a parent dismisses them by telling that all preparations had been made, and that it was not their place to interfere with anything serious and just let the adults run the show? Grow up and then you'll understand, you'll thank us later for forcing you into this, they'd always say.
"Loras, talk to me at least? We are leaving soon, we can't stay for too long. Already the staff are asking us to leave because they said it would be better for you. Loras?"
He heard Willas' voice call out, soothing and with all the love of an elder brother. That voice had helped calm him down many times that he had woken up screaming and sweating from his nightmares. Loras was tempted to open the door, crumble into his eldest brother's loving arms, but he knew his parents were with his brothers. He was afraid if he heard another word of crap coming out of their mouths justifying this forced 'healing' on him, he would strangle them.
He loved them very much, but he had a temper and he was so pissed off with them right now. He really didn't want to say or do anything he would regret in a long run later.
"We're leaving now. Loras please, at least give me a goodbye hug? Let me see my little boy?" Loras heard his mother's cracked voice outside his door. He wanted to yell, wanted to tell her to just leave, because it was her and her husband that had decided to leave him here, so don't cry about not seeing him in a while. Instead, he just grabbed his favorite turtle plushy and tried to block out everything else.
He could hear his mother sobbing now, and he felt a little twinge of guilt. He never liked to see his mother cry, ever. But she did deserve it, Loras thought, a streak of mean vengeance in his mind, at least she'll suffer knowing that he was mad at her.
But the he heard the voice that always managed to get through to him no matter how mad he was. His little sister Margaery was asking him to open the door, to let her hug him before she had to leave him here.
Loras got off the bed sluggishly and opened the door a crack to see if his parents or brothers were waiting behind his sister. They were not, although they were not far away, they were waiting down the corridor, his mother's into a hanky while his brothers looked on with apprehension.
"Loras…just hang in there, all right? You need this, Loras, even if you don't think…"
Margaery never got to finish her sentence because Loras had slammed the door in her face, not wanting to hear any of that. He regretted doing that the moment after, but he didn't want to open the door and apologize either. Maybe it was best if they just left, leave him alone in this stupid mental facility. Because no matter what fancy wording they may label on it to make it sound acceptable, it was still a mental health facility and he was still here because they thought something was wrong with his head.
He was not, he was perfectly fine but they all refuse to understand it. He just had a moment of weakness and that had prompted him to swallow those pills, try to leave this bleary world behind to find some peace and quiet on the other side.
He didn't succeed though, he was found and he woke up in the hospital in the psychiatric ward where he found out that a police case had been opened and that all those stuff that he had been hiding from his family, all that pain and the nightmares, had been found and shown to them.
There were obvious signs on his body of what had happened to him, and once he was in the hospital the nurses very quickly checked for them and reported them to his parents. His mother was devastated and his father was furious that their son had suffered right under their noses, but really, it wasn't their fault.
The shame of admitting that such a thing happened to him, that he had allowed somebody to take advantage of him like that was too much to bear, so he hid it away.
But it was all out now, the abuse, the way he had been cutting himself, the painkillers he took to numb the pain and finally, in that moment where he could not take it anymore, he just shoved them all down his throat in hopes that the pain disappeared forever.
Instead, the opposite had happened and the pain came back full blast, along with the realization that they all knew now how weak he was. He screamed and he fought back but they sedated him and told his family that he had a mental breakdown and that he needed time to calm down. They shoved councilors and psychiatrists to talk to him, trying to get him to tell them why he had tried to kill himself.
He told them all to mind their own business and get the hell out of his.
His parents had brought him home soon after and his brothers even took long drives from their universities to come spend time on the weekends with him. He went for weekly sessions with a psychiatrist where he just kept mum the whole hour long session. He didn't feel like talking any more about it, they knew everything already anyway. What the hell else did they want? Just what did they expect him to say?
Then the day it all went to hell came three months later, when he came back from school and saw the psychiatrist there with a few of his teachers and his whole family. "Loras…I'm sorry but we've made a decision that you're not going to like at all. You need help, Loras, real help from people who understand how to heal you. We've tried giving you all the love, attention and care we could but it's obvious we're not enough."
His grandmother's words struck dread in him and he immediately understood what she meant. "No…you can't do this to me", Loras whispered, his voice shaking from anger and dread. "We're trying to help you, Loras, please!" His mother pleaded, waking up from her chair, her arms open as though she was going to embrace her son.
"NO! I'M NOT GOING! I DON'T NEED HELP, I'M FINE! Loras had yelled over and over again, panicking when his brothers held him by his arms to avoid him from continuing breaking the decorations on the mantelpiece. He yelled, screamed and kicked as hard as he could until he had no strength left in him and he just sat on the carpeting, screaming at them.
Eventually when he calmed down he was told that he was being sent to a special place where they dealt with teenagers with depression. "You think I'm insane? You're sending me to a mental asylum?" Loras asked in disbelieve, staring at the faces of his family, hoping that this whole situation was just another nightmare.
"It's not a loony bin, Loras. It's a place to help you get better. Don't you want to be happy? I know I miss my favorite brother, I miss seeing him be his old cheerful and haughty self. I miss his tantrums and I miss the way he was so confident that he was better than everybody else. Don't you want to be your old self again?"
Margaery, always his sweet little sister Margaery, had managed to calm him down a little. He was told then if he packed up quietly and followed the instructions given, he could have his family send him to the facility quietly. If he refused and fought back, then they would have to drag him kicking and screaming in an ambulance.
Loras decided that he would not survive the humiliation of being dragged like some wild animal and so decided to go quietly, letting his fuming and angry face do all the talking needed.
So here he was, in what was to be his room until they deemed that he could go home. He felt angry towards his family, with that stupid psychiatrist and all those stupid teachers that had encouraged his parents to do this to him.
"Mr. Tyrell, Loras, would you like to come down for some tea? We have some delicious apple crumble today", Loras heard a girl call him some time later, but he ignored her. He just drifted off to sleep, grabbing his turtle plushy and wishing that things were the same as when he had first gotten his favorite plushy at his fifth birthday.
